TNA Impact: The return of Chyna
Three mysteries were solved on Thursday night’s episode of TNA Impact.
Mick Foley was revealed as the person pulling the strings with The Network, which was predictable; Chris Harris returned as Matt Hardy’s tag team partner, which was a letdown; and Chyna was introduced as Kurt Angle’s “mistress.” That by far was the most interesting of the three and it was one I didn’t see coming.
Chyna, who has been out of wrestling since leaving WWE in 2001 except for a few appearances in Japan several years ago, will team with Angle against Jeff and Karen Jarrett in a mixed tag team match on Sunday’s Sacrifice pay-per-view.
Chyna’s presence in TNA shows why people in wrestling always say “never say never.” Over the past several years, she’s largely been a train wreck whose public meltdowns were sad to watch.
I would say I’m shocked that TNA would do business with her considering her reputation, but then again, this is the company that has employed the likes of Scott Hall and Jeff Hardy.
It has been reported by The Wrestling Observer that the gigantic Lindsay Hayward (aka Aloisia, aka Isis The Amazon) was the original choice to be Angle’s “mistress” (she was the first person I thought of when Angle announced on TV that he was bringing in a mystery woman). Hayward had a tryout match in TNA, but, according to the Observer, she rubbed people the wrong way backstage.
From a story line standpoint, Chyna makes more sense anyway. She and Jeff Jarrett had a program together in WWE in 1999 that culminated in the memorable Good Housekeeping Match that saw Chyna win the Intercontinental title. Of course, newer fans probably don’t know about that feud, and some may not know anything at all about Chyna. She did get a huge pop when she came out in the Impact Zone, though.
She didn’t say a word, which was reminiscent of her early days in WWE when she played Triple H’s silent, heavily muscled bodyguard. These days, however, the only thing truly freakish about Chyna’s physique is her massive boob job.
Chyna was introduced by Foley after he revealed himself to be The Network’s representative. Like I said earlier, Foley was a predictable choice for the role (I called it five weeks ago), but that doesn’t mean that he’s not the right choice. I’m glad to see him back in the mix on TV.
The head-scratcher on Thursday’s show was Harris – James Storm’s former tag partner in America’s Most Wanted – coming back to be Hardy’s mystery partner to go against Storm and Bobby Roode.
Sure, I get that there’s history there, but TNA teased that there was going to be a tag team dream match between the Hardy Boyz and Beer Money, and then instead of delivering that, out comes a bloated-looking Braden Walker. Weak.
Other thoughts on Thursday’s show:
The other big news was the much-talked about changing of the show’s name from TNA Impact to Impact Wrestling. Foley announced it, saying that “wrestling matters,” and the focus is now going to be on what happens in the ring rather than backstage politics. With Vince Russo writing the shows, I’m skeptical about that one. I do think it’s a good idea for TNA to push the word “wrestling” seeing as how it’s banned in WWE. In true TNA fashion – where nothing is ever simple – there was confusion as to whether the name of the company was changing from TNA to Impact or just the TV show. It seems that it’s only the show, which is disappointing. The TNA name has always made it hard to take the company seriously, and I’m surprised it wasn’t dropped years ago. I’d go all the way with the re-branding effort, but that’s just me. …
I enjoyed the 25-man battle royal main event that determined who would meet the winner of Sunday’s match between TNA world champion Sting and Rob Van Dam at next month’s Slammiversary pay-per-view. Mr. Anderson winning (he eliminated Bully Ray for the victory) made sense based on how the story line has played out the past few months. …
I liked that Matt Morgan was put over as a monster before he was eliminated from the battle royal. I’m cautiously optimistic that the payoff to Morgan’s long chase of the world title is going occur in the not-too-distant future. …
The show-opening promo with Jeff and Karen Jarrett trying to call a truce with Angle was fine, but I thought it went on a little long before Angle finally came out. Karen did a great job of selling how upset she was when Chyna was revealed as Angle’s tag team partner. …
Who did A.J. Styles tick off to end up in another program with Tommy Dreamer? Or perhaps the question is, who does Dreamer have incriminating photos of to get himself in another program with Styles? Look, I have no doubts that Tom Laughlin is a heck of a nice guy, but the Tommy Dreamer character at this point does nothing for me. I’m not saying he doesn’t have some value to the company, but I think he has more to offer behind the camera with the likes of Al Snow and D’Lo Brown than in front of it with the likes of Styles. …
I’m disappointed that Mickie James didn’t cut a promo this week to explain why she decided on a stipulation for her TNA Knockouts title defense against Madison Rayne at Sacrifice that would grant Tara her freedom from Rayne. Mike Tenay said something about there being mutual respect, but since James and Tara have hated each other in the story line, it would have been nice to have James put it in her own words. …
I was surprised at first that Miss Tessmacher pinned Rayne in the tag match in which Tessmacher and James defeated Rayne and Tara, but it made sense after I thought about it. Rayne getting beat added to the tension between her and Tara, and it wouldn’t have been wise to have James pin Rayne before their title match. …
I haven’t seen enough of Tessmacher yet to tell how good she is or isn’t in the ring, but I can say with absolute certainty that she’s a lot of fun to watch. …
Speaking of fun to watch – although in an entirely different way – the Sangrieto-Suicide match (won by Sangrieto) was entertaining. …
The three-way match that saw Crimson defeat Samoa Joe and Abyss was hard-hitting but way too short (less than three minutes). …
Abyss looks even more frightening now that he is missing his bottom two front teeth (the result of a stiff kick to the face by RVD).
Comments
Me and my buddy Danny agreed to take shots of vodka every time the author gave himself credit for being prescient of a pro wrestling storyline.
Poor Danny died of alcohol poisoning.
Posted by: Jeremiah20 | May 13, 2011 2:42 PM
I seem to recall someone commenting last week that he'd be very surprised if Chyna wasn't the pick as Angle's partner - given the type o folks TNA typically signs.
I gotta agree - AJ Styles deserves a lot better than a last second fued with Tommy Dreamer.
I actually like the choice of Harris - if he's in shape. There's a chemistry there with Storm, and if it works out - they can reform LAX and let Roode finally pursue a singles career.
Sangrieto = annoying. And he's the whitest Mexican I've seen. What was up with his revealing his face for a split second?
Even though the match was short, the Crimson victory was very impressive and raised my opinion of him.
Posted by: Ruzious | May 13, 2011 2:54 PM
TNA employed "6Pac" and X-Pac was at the WWE Hall of Fame.
I'm aware of "1 Night in" but besides that, how is Chyna's reputation any more troubled than Sean Waltman's?
Hall and Hardy have problems with the law and drug abuse, has Chyna and I just haven't heard of it?
RESPONSE FROM KE: Her substance abuse problems are well-documented.
Posted by: Tyciol | May 13, 2011 3:12 PM
I must sincerely compliment you, Mr. Eck, for a very elegant and insightful analysis of the show. I was personally kind of let down that after some solid weeks of programming, this iMPACT featured some dubious booking decisions and at least one puzzling new face, as you pointed out.
I think we can't expect any wrestling show to be spot on every week either. At least Anderson won, although I wasn't pleased, despite being an Anderson mark, with his comments after the win. The Bin Laden thing is very prominent now, and I have no overall judgment on how people should react to it emotionally, but the over the top vicious comments used by Anderson kind of don't belong in the program, and seem sort of a cheap way to capitalize on one segment of sentiment about it to push a wrestling angle--which isn't unheard of or without use in wrestling--but I think this particular situation is a little too sensitive to work with. (maybe I'm biased because I don't think it comes off as very mature, honorable or classically American to act like a vengeful nut. If something like that needs to be done--it should be done with grace and a rememberance that the act of taking any human life is not to be scoffed at or made into a point of pure vengeance--isn't that why we were all mad at this guy in the first place? Maybe my hoping for a little more solemnity and heroic stoicism about it colors my vision--but it stuck out to me on the show. Also--comparing Sting to Bin Laden is way more than a little too much.)
I also have to admit that I was wrong that Dreamer being forced out of threat of firing to attack Styles was just to heat up the Ray/Styles feud. That was what would have made sense to anyone with half of a brain---and I too have no desire to see Dreamer in a big role. If they would have stuck to just him attacking AJ to save his job in order to enhance the Ray program--it would have been fine.
Some of this kind of makes a new sense of unease now that TNA has finally shown overall improvement due to Russo actually being creative and giving fans what they want--that he and the others, as soon as they feel they're doing better, will forget their humility and open-mindedness and go back to the same crap that they're known for.
I was bothered a bit by the Tara/James thing--but the positive for me is that they're at least putting the Knockouts in some compelling, focused programs. And Tessmacher I too would love to see more of, both literally and figuratively. The "hot for teacher" thing always works for some reason, doesn't it?
Also with Abyss--besides the teeth, I did notice that he delivered punches more realistically than we're used to seeing from him. He's older, and somewhat limited--but someone should work with him to figure out how to streamline his move-sets and get the most of what he's capable of. The Black-hole Slam gimmick is good for a finisher--but he hasn't got much of a beginning or middle. I like his look-(especially the relatively new one with the ripped Carhartt and the anarchy shirts)--and I don't hate his promos--but he is not convincing as a monster like Ray is now.
Let's all keep our fingers crossed for Morgan---If Sting finishes what has been a better job than I'd first thought he'd do with the title program, and rightfully steps back--there's plenty of room for Morgan--and he and Anderson we already know play well off each other.
Posted by: DumbSmark | May 13, 2011 3:31 PM
Do you think Jeff Hardy will ever return to TNA anytime soon?
Posted by: Jake | May 13, 2011 4:10 PM
If Chyna is back in good health, maye she can help Scott Hall from any further relapsing?
Posted by: wrzesien | May 13, 2011 4:21 PM
The Tara Mickie thing makes sense in that if Tara is working for Madison she would be forced to interefere in matches between the two. Now, if Tara is set free, Mickie doesn't have to worry about her interference when facing Madison. God, did I just explain a woman's storyline? I read that TNA might put Harris back with Storm and give Roode the singles push he deserves. Storm is not a singles wrestler, and unlike what Vince McMahon believes good tag wrestling is important. I predict that Harris turns on Fatt Hardy this Sunday.
Posted by: Eric | May 13, 2011 4:35 PM
Kevin, great blog. In regards to Chris Harris being named Matt Hardy's tag partner vs. Beer Money, I think it makes good sense. As you pointed out, there is history between Harris and Storm and I see that as the connection. I can easily see Storm turning on Roode and reforming AMW with Chris Harris. At that point, Roode can finally shine as a singles wrestler within TNA. That's one swerve that I actually would be in favor of in TNA. Thoughts?
Posted by: Sean | May 13, 2011 5:14 PM
Wouldn't you think WWE would trademark the name Chyna?
RESPONSE FROM KE: Joanie Laurer had her name legally changed to Chyna, so WWE cannot stop her from using it in TNA.
Posted by: Cory | May 13, 2011 5:15 PM
how are you going to have "mutual respect" for someone who HIT YOU WITH A MOTORCYCLE like 3 weeks before?
RESPONSE FROM KE: Great question.
Posted by: neon | May 13, 2011 5:52 PM
After giving props to TNA last week for staying the course, It's only suiting that they came out with another change angle.
Now wrestling matters again.That means that it doesn't matter how you look or sound which is entertainment and what pro wrestling really is but instead it matters how you wrestle which matters in independant promotions that not coincidentally usually take place in high school gyms with 20 people watching. That's the gimmick of the storyline. But this is pro wrestling, so we know it's just a storyline.
Even though I didn't see Foley being the the Network rep, it obviously wasn't surprising when it turned up to be him. It's okay, it's not bad, it might even be good but it 's doesn't have that WOW factor or anything, since to me it feels like Foley was on TNA just a few months ago. Maybe 6 months, still doesn't seem that long or epic.
Chyna being in TNA does nothing for me. I have to be honest even if a little rude but I always thought she was a bit hard to look at back in the WWF years and now it's really no different. Do you really need someone tough to take care of Karen Jarret anyway? Pretty much any knockout would of done.
Didn't see much else special about this weeks episode. I'm a bit disappointed we didn't see another Mexican America segment or Winter/Angelina segment.
Posted by: Lorenzo Fernandez | May 13, 2011 6:16 PM
Mick Foley - Met the guy, love the guy, glad to see him back on TV, but too predictable of a reveal
Chris Harris - Who? The guy who was fired by TNA, then fired by WWE? Oh, yeah him. So what?
Chyna - She's still alive? Or did I wake up in the 90s? Either way, who cares?
All in all, the "three big surprises" on Impact turned out to be three letdowns. TNA is a joke. Why do I continue to watch the show each week?
Posted by: Micah Kleid | May 14, 2011 8:33 AM
I really like Impact this week, and actually made it through the whole show still interested in its outcome. The battle royal actually had all the big names of IMPACT WRESTLING in it, as opposed to filler from the B- and C- Shows (not that IMPACT has any of those). While I don't know how famous Chris Harris is to those who haven't watched IMPACT for very long, I like the throwback aspect of it, and it does give a better nod of the hat to pre-Hogan IMPACT days. Who knows, maybe Team Canada will make a comeback? I don't like Chyna much, but the Angle line of "And you know who she is, Jeff" plus Karen's meltdown was great in my book!
Foley was a given, but I loved his confrontation with Hogan and wished he'd just fired him on the spot.
Lastly, I like the new name. And by the way, during Smackdown last night, Spike ran a promo here for IMPACT Wrestling with not a "TNA" anywhere in the commercial.
Posted by: jon in bradenton | May 14, 2011 8:35 AM
TNA under the "leadership" of Hogan, Bischoff and Russo continue the new ideas....
Sign Hall and Waltman (1990 want's it's motorocycle and bandana look back) for a bit a year or so ago. Now Chyna. Hogan does his bad acting gig and mentions "Goldberg" while him and Bischoff drive away, in the hopes that wrestling names from 10 years ago will give TNA a shot in the arm.
I got an idea....Hogan go sign the Ultimate Warrior and look terrififed that a an aging out of shape wrestler is confronting you. Once this feud is over sign Randy Savage and his grey hair....repeat the terrified thing. Once this runs it's course sign the Iron Sheik, and again be completely terrified as the Iron Sheik is helped to the ring. Run this into the ground and then sign Nick Bockwinkle....
By this time TNA should be just about finished, so then call Vince. Bring Bischoff who will still be wearing the sneakers and terribly outdated black leather jacket.
Don't bother developong Roode into a singles champion or Morgan. Bring back old outdated ideas from 10, 15, 20, even 30 years ago.
Talk about one trick pony....
WWE brings the Rock, Austin, Nash and Booket back in small quick hit roles. Huge difference....
Posted by: Dan | May 14, 2011 9:31 AM
I follow TNA only casually, but I did find this episode interesting enough to make sure I don't miss next week's.
The "Wrestling Matters" thing seems promising. Vince pretty much opened that door for them, so why not? Foley's good for the role on a couple of levels -- his hard-core, old-school rep (I'd love to hear him reference Dominic DeNucci, but WWE probably owns that name, too) gives him the credibility. But at the same time, I sensed a little twinkle in his eye as he was talking backstage. "I'm saying all this, but look over my shoulder, there's the original 'freak woman' of wrestling." So, is the sideshow over, Mick, or is this whole thing just another ring of the circus? But, he was just in the ring trying to goad the Hulk Hogan (with his crippled self) into a shoot-fight.
Like I said, they got my interest -- not enough to buy the PPV, but enough to keep watching.
I have a question for someone more knowledgeable on TNA:
I recall when the Thursday evening show would be rebroadcast on Saturday morning. When did they stop doing this, and why? (Shouldn't they be welcoming any and all TV exposure to, you know, build a fan base??)
I've been a reasonably faithful fan of McMahon Wrestling since DeNucci was was working full time and Ernie Roth was morphing from Abdullah Farouk into the Grand Wizard of Wrestling. And I don't expect that to change until one of us (me or Vince) is dead. That said, I'm always open to alternatives, and I'm hopeful for my Thurday nights (or whenever I watch the DVR).
Posted by: Boomerang41144 | May 14, 2011 10:23 AM
When will TNA learn? The only people that would even care about someone like Chyna making her "shocking return" are already watching TNA. Also if you needed any more proof that the "Impact Zone" is comprised mostly of friends & family of TNA employees, the pop Chyna got should be enough. Anyone that actually cared about the business and has watched with sadness at the struggles of those like Jeff Hardy, Scott Hall, and all of the deceased stars would NEVER applaud a move like that. Any true fan would be angry at TNA for exploiting another struggling ex-star for the purpose of recreating an era of wrestling which has been dead for close to a decade.
Posted by: MechanicalBull | May 14, 2011 10:59 AM
@ Boomerang41144
It is somehow sad to me personally that I know this, but anyway...years ago TNA aired exclusively on Saturdays. Not that many years ago, they made the move to Thursday night. If I recall correctly, the Saturday show was also an hour long, and the two-hour format started on Thursday. I believe it still airs on Saturday in Australia-which I only know because I know some folks who live there.
I personally have always had a tempestuous relationship with McMahon's wrestling, with the exception of the time in the late 90's when he was forced through competition to present a product more open and catered to what participatory wrestling fans wanted--(I spent the 80's following all of the various companies that would one day be conglomerated as WCW--and spent most of the 90's with ECW---but I think it's great that a WWF/E fan from way back is willing to give iMPACT a chance. Wrestling needs competitors to survive--it's another McMahon fact I find sad that he has to pretend to have competing wrestling companies with the whole Smackdown vs. Raw thing--(was he surprised that he couldn't support three when he ran "ECW" as well?)
Anyway, if you're relatively new to TNA, you've come at a better time than in the past...it has been a seriously painful ride to finally approach a modicum of quality which is admittedly still a little unstable. Welcome to hell. Once in a while it's actually entertaining here, and those moments are usually worth it.
Posted by: DumbSmark | May 14, 2011 11:57 AM
Kev, haven't you been cautiously optimistic of a pay-off for Matt Morgan long chase of a tittle reign for almost 2 years now? Chyna will be TNA champ before Morgan at this rate.
Posted by: Common Sense | May 14, 2011 12:36 PM
My wife - who merely walks by the TV whenever wrestling is on and tries wholeheartedly to bond with me on storylines - took one look at the TV and said, "Why is Hulk Hogan still around?" Then, with shock and a bit of depression in her voice said, "Is that Ric Flair?? Isn't he in the Hall of Fame?? What on Earth is he doing??" And she didn't even have the pleasure of seeing him wrestle. Doesn't that kind of sum TNA up in a nutshell? I mean, when Chyna showed up, she just kind of shook her head and laughed.
Posted by: mm | May 14, 2011 1:36 PM
I hope Chyna makes the most of this opportunity. However, I do wonder about ring rust. After all, she hasn't spent a lot of time in the ring over the past decade. It might be a lot to ask for her to deliver a pay-per-view quality performance. But we shall see.
Then, of course, there is the not so small matter of substance abuse. Is it me or did she look glassy-eyed?
Posted by: Aaron Goldstein | May 14, 2011 10:52 PM
What would Tommy Dreamer do, Kevin? What would Tommy Dreamer do?
Posted by: Matt | May 15, 2011 3:58 PM
some people need to stop getting on TNAs back none stop ...if you dont like what their doing , go watch the pg wwe garbage ...i used to be wwe through and throught ...now i only watch it if the rocks on it. TNA to me is the underdog of course , but it would be nice to see them up there with wwe one day , a tall order i know , but you can never tell can you .
As for CHYNA ..its great to see her back in my opinion
Posted by: peter4pm | May 17, 2011 5:26 AM
TNA has hit rock bottom they run by a 70 year old hasbeen that should of retired 50 years ago and now there hiring a porn star good going tna
Posted by: taker | December 11, 2011 8:18 AM