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April 29, 2011

TNA Impact: Scott Steiner gets ticked off and hilarity ensues

Scott Steiner may only be a mid-card player at this point in his career, but he proved on Thursday night’s TNA Impact that he is still pretty darn entertaining. In fact, I thought his performances were the highlight of the show.

I don’t know that anyone in the business today blends intensity with humor better than “Big Poppa Pump.”

When informed that an enraged Matt Morgan was looking for him, Steiner cut a promo that can only be described as Steiner-esque. In a nutshell, Steiner said that he didn’t sweat Morgan and wasn’t hard to find.

Later, Steiner suckered Morgan into coming after him backstage, and then he attacked Morgan from behind. Steiner delivered a stiff beatdown, talking smack the entire time.

After Morgan finally gained the upper hand in the brawl, however, Steiner abruptly changed his tune. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he said to Morgan. When Morgan ignored Steiner’s pleas and continued the assault, Steiner yelled: “I said I’m sorry!”

Morgan left Steiner lying in a heap. At the end of the show, however, Steiner was mouthing off again and talking tough.

“I’m Division I, you’re Division III,” he said in regard to their respective collegiate athletic achievements. “I’m a wrestler. You’re a basketball player. Who’s afraid of a basketball player other than another basketball player?

Hilarious. What makes it even funnier is that I got to know Steiner while working for WCW years ago, and his true personality isn’t that much different than his wrestling persona.

Other thoughts on Thursday’s show:

The opening segment in which Karen Jarrett tried to figure out who Kurt Angle’s “mistress” is by interrogating some of the Knockouts and a couple of women who work backstage (a seamstress, someone from catering) was brutally bad and seemed like it was never going to end. Even Karen’s cleavage couldn’t save it. …

As soon as Mr. Anderson pulled up in a cool white truck and said that it had sentimental value, I think we all knew the vehicle was going to get vandalized before the show was over. Sure enough, Sting busted out all the windows with a baseball bat. …

Sting swung the bat so many times when trashing Anderson’s truck that he got tired and needed to take a few sips of water. Geez, I hope John Morrison doesn’t find out. …

Sting playfully denying that he took batting practice on Anderson’s truck and then Anderson just blowing it off as no big deal was amusing, but I’m still trying to figure out why Anderson wasn’t angry about his truck. …

After Sting accepted Anderson’s challenge for a TNA world title match, Hulk Hogan came out and added Bully Ray to the match, making it a threeway. Why couldn’t Sting just say no? If you recall, he has the right to pick his challengers. And just who does have the final word on making matches, Hogan and Eric Bischoff or The Network? I’m confused. …

The Sting-Anderson-Ray match – which Sting won thanks to A.J. Styles attacking Ray – was somewhat entertaining. By the way, Bully Ray seemed to be channeling Stan Hansen in the ring. …

Talk about bad luck. On the same night that Alex Shelley made his return after being sidelined for three months with an injury, his Motor City Machine Guns partner, Chris Sabin, suffered a legitimate knee injury during his match against Anarquia. After Sabin’s injury occurred, they went right to the finish, as Anarquia got the win with a small package. Shelley came out after the match to save Sabin from an attack by Mexican America. …

Angelina Love – who squashed her former BFF Velvet Sky – has apparently turned into the female version of The Undertaker (the early-to-mid ’90s version). Not only is she constantly in a zombie-like trance, but apparently she’s also impervious to pain. That must be some powerful stuff Winter is spiking her drink with. …

The TV title match between champion Gunner and Daniels was decent. Gunner getting the clean win was a surprise. …

I liked the interview with Samoa Joe talking about Crimson’s undefeated streak and comparing it to the one he had in TNA several years ago. …

The Joe-Crimson match wasn’t bad, although there were a couple awkward spots. …

After Abyss attacked Crimson, Joe chose to walk away rather than save him. Please tell me TNA isn’t turning Joe heel again. …

I’m not sure what the point was of Mickie James’ short promo. She thanked the fans for their support and that was pretty much it. I was waiting for someone to interrupt her but it didn’t happen.

Posted by Kevin Eck at 11:55 PM | | Comments (12)


"That must be some powerful stuff Winter is spiking her drink with."

Maybe she just picked up Jeff Hardy's 'water' bottle by accident.

Come on man, Really? I thought Karen's opening segment was the highlight of the show. After a streak of good Impacts, this week felt flat to me.

Just by the look of Chris Sabin's face I could tell his injury was legit. I was laughing my ass off. Maybe it's wrong, but I'm not a big fan of these two. Shelly is okay but I don't like Sabin.

"Just by the look of Chris Sabin's face I could tell his injury was legit. I was laughing my ass off. "

Really Lorenzo? Laughing at another person's misfortune is pretty immature. Did people laugh at you when you tripped on stage performing at La Cage aux Folles?

Regardless if whether you are a fan of Saban and/or Shelley or not they both give everything they have between those ropes and that is more than likely the reason they tend to get injured frequently. They are great athletes and should be appreciated as such.

This may have been the funniest (on purpose) Impact ever. Steiner saying "I said I was sorry!" was great, and while the opening segment dig drag a bit, there were some good lines.

"I gotta go back to the trailer and fix my pot roast" by the cook (holding a strainer) was great, as was Karen's reply - "Your Taco Tuesday sucks!" And while I don't speak Spanish very well, I knew exactly what Sarita said to her and, while physically impossible, deserved to be bleeped (although it was funny where she said Karen had her head). Oh yeah, and Rosita looked awesome in the blue top!

The slow-mo replay of Sabin's knee was sickening---I've had a dislocated knee, and seeing that twist gave me chills...
I will give you, Mr. Eck, that Steiner actually was entertaining this time---I'll have to admit--TNA is pretty much using everyone right now to good effect. It also helps Morgan to have Steiner turn worm and beg mercy of him..
One point I'm going to have to call you out on---Gunner and Daniels just decent? Personally my jaw kind of dropped at the quality of the match and the in-ring storytelling that Gunner evinced. This guy seemed like a stooge previous to this, and yet he performed impressively--
Sorry---I always feel that credit should be given where it's due--especially when it is due to someone I would have written off as a nobody enhancement talent two weeks ago. I wasn't surprised by the end of the action that Gunner pulled a clean win--they've given him a crazed character which he effectively gave in-ring panache to --his ring skils have been polished--and I think they are giving him a bit of a push with the T.V. title---his holding it was legitimized in that match---and all of a sudden Gunner is convincing and someone to watch---I don't know how the hell his in-ring ability progressed that fast. He certainly beats the hell out of Crimson--who needs some time off to train before they bring him back.
I think the point of Anderson saying that he can get the truck repaired was to say "I'm not going back and forth with you every week--and you're not baiting me into it--I want my one-on-one match now--and then we're done", which is maybe a little bit of a high-brow reaction from a wrestling character--but I think it works to play off Anderson's intelligence to differentiate him from being seen as a poor man's Stone Cold.
Mickie James I saw as a general statement from everyone in the back to thank them for sticking with the program, because the fact that they are improving, and that attendance and ratings are going up are generally known now---maybe I'm wrong-but it's not atypical of Bischoff and the others to push smarkiness to the point of obscurity.
Otherwise--I think it was a solid show--(maybe not as good as a couple of the last weeks--but not a toilet either)--and as I said last week---I think this week's show is our breathing room--I think we can stop cringing--awaiting disaster---Somebody is learning at TNA--and they are pulling off a compelling, entertaining program now--with consistency.
P.S.--Don't lament Joe as heel---If he is treated differently than he has been in the past as a heel--and is added to Ray and now Gunner with Immortal---good things could come of it--(also forgot to mention when I commented on your 10 best wrestlers--spot on about Ray--I am literally in awe of the fact that a veteran of so many years has found his golden age now--this is the best work Ray has done and probably ever will do in his life--it's f^$#ing amazing, really).

I was all hoping for an anderson Victory in the match. But we all knew that wouldnt happen. O well. But before the match, Bully Ray was talking to some guy backstage with a hood on. TNA didnt show his face and i just couldnt help but wondering who it was....Kev, u got any ideas? Is it hardy?

RESPONSE FROM KE: I think it was Abyss.

Steiner is still the man! We need a Kevin Eck interview number three with him.

The Karen Jarrett storyline cant end soon enough.
While I prefer TNA to WWE it is like chitty chitty bang bang rolling down the beltway sometimes with the fits and starts. Maybe my Directv is messed up but what happened after the Sting - Bubba - Anderson three way as they cut to commercial Anderson was grabbing the pipe lurking around . Then they came back to the backstage interview and never show what happened. I'm confused...
I cant feel too bad for Sabin and his injured knee knowing that he is dating Velvet Sky. You could take my leg off for that opportunity.

You are right on Steiner, he's the best promo guy in the business. As a basektball coach who sees kids turn their noses up at D-2 and insist they're D-1, I laughed really hard at that comment. The Karen Angle thing was kind of funny, especially some of Jeff's facial expression. And technically, Sting wasn't lying about smashing all the windows, I don't think he touched the rear one. I thought he was going there "I didn't smash the back one."

If there is one thing I miss about watching TNA, its their hot, trashy women wrestlers. And the stunningly gorgeous Karen Angle-Jarrett or whatever her last name is. Still not worth it though.

@Lorenzo: First you over word the word retard and now you laugh at an injury. You must be some real piece of work.

Might be the mark in me, but Daniels should not be jobbing to Gunner. They could find someone else lower on the totem pole to put the TV champ over.

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About Kevin Eck
The Baltimore Sun's Kevin Eck blogs about professional wrestling.
E-mail Kevin.

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