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October 14, 2008

An unforgettable segment on Raw that would best be forgotten

I knew that nothing good could come of Johnny Knoxville and his fellow jackasses appearing on Raw last night, but it was far worse than I imagined. In fact, I think it was one of the worst segments in the history of Raw.

The segment actually got off to a great start. Santino Marella was being his usual entertaining self, cutting a promo about his three potential opponents at the Cyber Sunday pay-per-view on Oct. 26 – The Honky Donky Man, Rodney The Piper and Golden Dust – and then Knoxville was introduced into the proceedings.

After some not-so-interesting banter, Beth Phoenix scooped up Knoxville and attempted to slam him, but she ended up dropping him. It was quite embarrassing, but as Chris Jericho would say, the worst was yet to come.

From there, some of my least favorite WWE characters – Hornswoggle, The Boogeyman and Big Dick Johnson – took turns interacting with Knoxville and Jackass cohort Chris Pontius. Pontius, by the way, was wearing a Pittsburgh Steelers T-shirt, confirming that he indeed is a jackass.

At one point, Pontius and the grotesque Johnson danced around the ring in thongs. Yeah, that’s just what the predominantly male WWE audience wants to see. The scene mercifully ended with The Great Khali taking out Knoxville. Khali instantly became my new favorite wrestler.

As all of this was going on, I kept thinking that I had dozed off and was having a nightmare. I kept expecting The Shockmaster to come out and trip getting into the ring, The Gobbledygooker to emerge from a giant egg and Master P and the No Limit Soldiers to start chanting “Hoody hoo!”

I hope I just didn’t give anyone on the WWE creative team any ideas.

Other thoughts on last night’s show:

Except for that WrestleCrap-worthy segment, the rest of Raw wasn’t bad. The best part was the show-long angle of Jericho and Batista trying to outsmart each other. …

I have mixed feelings on how CM Punk was booked. On one hand, it makes him look like a big deal for Batista to have hand-picked him to face Jericho. But the finish of the match kind of made Punk look weak. Jericho hit his Codebreaker finisher and was about to cleanly defeat Punk, but Batista refused to make the three-count. Batista then power-bombed Jericho, and Punk pinned him. It will go down in the official record book – who is in charge of keeping the official record book anyway? – as Punk pinning the world heavyweight champion, but the way it occurred probably hurt Punk more than it helped him.

I think a better finish would have been Jericho and Punk both falling down after knocking heads, and Jericho just happening to land on top of Punk. Then Batista refuses to count the three, and after Jericho confronts Batista, Punk hits the GTS for the win. But that’s just me. …

Batista looked a little silly wearing a ref shirt that was too small with his wrestling trunks. At least he could have worn long pants. …

The Batista-Shawn Michaels match wasn’t as crisp as one would think, and the pace was a tad slow. It could have been because Michaels was still hurting from the ladder match against Jericho at the No Mercy pay-per-view on Oct. 5. He was selling that he was banged up from that match, but it might not have been just an act. …

I thought the handshake between Batista and Michaels was a good way to bring closure to their feud. It wouldn’t have made any sense for a Batista Bomb or Sweet Chin Music to occur after the handshake. …

As soon as JBL referred to himself as a “real American,” you knew Charlie Haas was coming out as Haas Hogan. The big boot to the face never looked so good, brother. Just wondering: How did Haas know that JBL was going to say that he was a “real American?” …

The biggest exaggeration of the night: Jerry Lawler calling Knoxville “a huge star.” Actually, he might be if we’re comparing him to Cousin Sal.

Posted by Kevin Eck at 9:34 PM | | Comments (24)
        

Comments

Kevin , re: your comments on Johnny Knoxville's appearence on Raw - although I didn't see it , I can only imagine the scene .
Given my age , I'm not much on the sophomoric humor portrayed by Knoxville and his "jackass" cronies . Not that there's anything wrong with it , but let's just say I'm glad I didn't tune in .

"Just wondering: How did Haas know that JBL was going to say that he was a “real American?'"

JBL likely saw Haas, who was his scheduled opponent, dressed up as Hulk Hogan backstage. So Haas wouldn't have had to know what JBL was going to say.

On a side note Kev , as a Ravens fan also , I get a kick out of you taking jabs at other teams . This time the Squealers em.. I mean Steelers .
Tough talk Kev for a 2-3 team !

So they future endeavored Cade...it's probably because he's bad at putting people through tables on the outside and making sure they STAY DOWN FOR A BIT.

Why does WWE always work with celebs 5 years after they're relevant?

Jenny McCarthy, Knoxville, and Freddie Prinze all come to mind.

I hated what they did to CM Punk. Hes gotten less chance for revenge at unfairly losing his title then Hardcore Holly.

Yeah, that’s just what the predominantly male WWE audience wants to see.

Um, the female audience doesn't want to see that either. Ew.

If an angle happened with Jackass say 7 or 8 years ago, this would have been huge. That's when Jackass was at its prime, and also when WWE was right at the edge of TV-14/TV-M.

Things were too tame. Big Dick Johnson is now "Big Johnson," and his g-string is now replaced with slightly-more modest (but still cringe-inducing) underpants.

Also, the dancing was an homage to one of Chris Pontius' famous characters from Jackass ... although, like I said this angle took place long after Jackass and that character were relevant.

...

About CM Punk, I knew they were going to pick him, since he's going to be feuding with Randy Orton when he comes back. So, they needed him to look good and be taken seriously. They didn't accomplish this in that match.

This is the 3rd time Punk has been cleanly defeated by Jericho, and all times were when it was important to elevate Punk. The first was the night after Punk won Money in the Bank, the second was a couple weeks into Punk's title reigh (and in his hometown, to boot), and the third was this Monday (even though Punk's hand was raised in the end).

Punk does have one clean victory over Jericho, but that match was in the King of the Ring, and was overshadowed by William Regal winning the tournament.

Hopefully they can do something to elevate Punk, at least so he can have a competitive feud with Randy Orton.

I think the awkward slam kind of set the tone for that Jackass segment. It reminded me of when Steve-O no-sold for Umaga a couple years ago and Umaga came back and worked him over some more in a manner so stiff there was no way he'd get up. Though I did kind of mark out for the Boogeyman....I can't help it.

I thought you couldn't lose if you mastered the ability to Hulk up?

Everything with Jericho was well done. Though wasn't Orton a lumberjack for a match an hour after saying that being a ref could be too much of a risk? Did he really need to be there even? I'm glad they did close the Batista-HBK feud in a quick yet logical manner. Not every angle has to be aborted.

Lastly, if Honky Donky's finger is still hurt, then Cyber Sunday 2009 would be about 61 weeks on the Meter and be a better payoff in my opinion.

I think Punk shouldn't kick out when he knows the ref won't count a pin against him instead of exerting more energy. That's being smart. The fans love to see the heel get screwed by their own tactics, and they cheered Punk for taking the tainted victory. Next week, Jericho will likely complain about it and get heel heat for doing so.

Contrast this with Chris Jericho's debut in WCW. He was a babyface, and the ref was going to give him the win because the opponent got hurt. Jericho refused to take a cheap win and got booed out of the building for it. Thankfully, WWE didn't try that with Punk.

Johnny Knoxville may have been popular, but he's never been relevant. Jennie McCarthy has never been relevant until she started working with the autistic children charity. Freddie Prinze, Jr? The jury's still out. Let's see a little more of his WWE writing.
Didn't anyone learn from the last time WWE and TNA did Jackass angles at approx the same time?

Kev, were you in WCW during the Master P era? One of the best worst angles ever. By the end, the redneck racist cowboys were the babyfaces! Rap is Crap!

RESPONSE FROM KEVIN ECK: I was not there for Master P. I started right before the short-lived Russo/Bischoff era began.

I thought that Knoxville and company were easily the most entertaining I've ever seen them. I was disappointed that Beth didn't drop Johnny a bit harder though, I was hoping for broken necks.

I'm not happy with the way Raw has been since the draft. I always looked forward to Raw, then watched ECW on Tuesday as almost an afterthought. Now I watch Raw hoping for a glimpse of the ECW crew.

Worst Powerslam ever, but to Beth's defense Knoxville sort of shifted him body as she turned him.

Why ruin a great Santino moment with this stuff? It was so good that despite being a Phillies fan and mainly watching (except for commecials) the NLCS, Santino 's appearance took precedent over a Jimmy Rollins at bat.

I hate soccer but I bought the Santino Soccer"like" shirt!

RESPONSE FROM KEVIN ECK: I agree with you that the botched slam wasn't all Beth's fault. I've never seen her do that with another worker. You think WWE would have learned from the last Jackass angle. Remember when Steve-O made Umaga look bad by not selling for him? Then Umaga got rough with him for real.

The Jackass stuff kind of caused me to forget about this, but did anybody see Kelly Kelly?

I think she was actually worse than last week.

Her top-rope flip deal is way too complicated for her to do seamlessly, it looks way too choreographed.

Lance Storm, when his "serious" character decided to be fun-loving, actually pulled out a better version of this move a couple times.

I could have done without the return of the Boogeyman and his worm gimmick, too. The Pontius-Johnson dance was disgusting enough.

"Um, the female audience doesn't want to see it either. Ew."

I suspected as much, and that raises the question of who the heck does want to see it?

As for Master P and his "Hooty-hoo!," that angle made me change the channel - permanently.

On a non-raw question, Kev, what happened to Umaga and Kennedy? Are they either injured, suspeneded, or released? Or maybe just in the dog house for some reason? Just realized a while ago that I haven't seen either of them in some time. If they are returning, I hope they actually use them, instead of making them glorified jobbers.

RESPONSE FROM KEVIN ECK: Both have been injured.

I've been watching Raw for a long time but am starting to lose interest. There is not much interesting or different going on. Santino is often a highlight, which, funny as he is, is not saying much.

Have to agree with AMC. Thc current product has grown stale. I actually look forward to reading Kevin's blog more than watching Raw.

You guys are ridiculous. That segment was hilarious. You all take wrestling way too seriously if you can't enjoy moments like that. Reading your blog post and the readers subsequent comments, I am just waiting for someone to mention that we need to bring Greg Gagne and Col DeBeers back to battle over the International Television Championship. Sure it wasn't quite up to the level of DX mocking NOD or Kurt Angle's milk truck, but it made for a pretty funny 5 minutes of TV as just about all of WWE's wacky caricature gimmicks made an appearance to play off the absurdity of the JA guys. If only Doink could have made an appearance.

RESPONSE FROM KEVIN ECK: It's not a matter of taking wrestling too seriously. I have always said (and written) that comedy has a place in wrestling. I am a big fan of Santino Marella and Charlie Haas, for crying out loud. In my opinion, however, there's nothing worse than comedy that doesn't work. Jim Ross wrote as much on his blog recently.That segment didn't work for me. It's all a matter of opinion, though. Like anything on TV, some liked it, some didn't. It's OK to disagree.

I can't see the lucrative side of bringing those jackass to the table.
They are no longer Famous, they are no longer funny, and because of them I have to watch Khali yelling and smiling in a weekly basis.
I wasn't compelled at all with the Mayweather thing, but at least he actually made non-wrestling fans to talk about Wrestlemania, and the extravaganza.

Kev, You don't blog frequently about ECW,so I post here about what happened last tuesday.
Evan Bourne is now eligible for the title match at Cyber Sunday. The other two choices are Mark Henry, and Finlay.
With all due respect to the last two, don't you think there is a big chance that Matt Hardy will be defending his title against Bourne at Cyber Sunday?
You have always said that you believe in the voting system, but WWE tend to "suggest" a Match, putting 1 no-brainer choice between 2 choices that people couldn't care less.
I know this question could enter in your "cyber sunday preview" post, but I think the Bourne Alternative was somewhat surprising.

Haas Hogan was awesome brother brother brother. I'm hoping eventually for Superhaas Jimmy Snuka, or maybe Bret the Hitman Haas, or maybe Haasdre the Giant. The possiblities are endless.

The main thing that bothers me about this Cade business, is that it happens right in the middle of an angle with HBK, making it look to the world that HBK got another guy out of the business. I hope the rumors of the seizure on the airplane don't turn out to be anthing majory serious and that he is healthy.

Santino and his unibrow are becoming a reason to watch RAW lately. I know it happenened weeks ago, but that was a sick looking bump that he took when Batista powerbombed Phoenix onto his face. That was the quickest I've seen a face mask come and go in a long time.

I agree totally with Mena, that was a scary segment for males and females alike. By the way santino rules

I couldn't agree with you more. you do a good thing to post this nice article.

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About Kevin Eck
The Baltimore Sun's Kevin Eck blogs about professional wrestling.
E-mail Kevin.
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