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February 15, 2008

At least the Angles’ wedding was entertaining

For the loyal TNA fans who look forward to reading my thoughts on TNA Impact every Friday just so they can get angry and accuse me of being biased, well, I’m going to give you plenty of ammunition with this one.

First, I’ll tell you what I liked about last night’s show. I thought the angle in which Kurt and Karen Angle walked that aisle, with Karen lookin’ as only she can look, to renew their wedding vows was well done. TNA showed restraint by not having an excessive number of backstage skits leading up to the wedding, and the ceremony itself was kept rather short. This was far superior to the horrible Teddy Long-Kristal Marshall wedding on Smackdown last fall that made a two-hour show seem like six.

The payoff to the Angles’ wedding was a lot better, too. Instead of watching Long’s fake heart attack and Marshall’s horrible acting, this one ended with the twist of A.J. Styles “marrying” Karen and kissing the bride. I also thought it was funny that Jeremy Borash was the maid of honor.

The other thing that I liked about last night’s show was the brief video package on Rhino, although it was basically the same piece TNA showed the last time it tried to push Rhino. Also, the bit with Brother Ray trying to make weight was mildly amusing.

The rest of the episode was a convoluted mess. I literally got a headache trying to keep up with who was a babyface and who was a heel and why I should care anymore.

Here are my completely unbiased thoughts:

The weekly segments in which Samoa Joe is about to sign his new contract before something prevents him from doing so at the last minute got old last week. Now it’s become ridiculous. …

Mike Tenay and Don West both said they were shocked that Tomko turned on Cage Sunday at the Against All Odds pay-per-view. Why should they be shocked? Don’t they know by now that the idea is to constantly swerve everyone whether it makes sense or not? …

Actually, Tomko’s explanation for why he attacked Cage did make some sense, but the booking is all backwards. Back when Cage was an obnoxious jerk and Tomko used to roll his eyes behind his back, it seemed like they were gradually building to Tomko eventually getting fed up and putting Cage in his place. Tomko had been getting over as a cool, no-nonsense babyface and Christian is a natural heel, so to reverse their roles just for the sake of “surprising” everyone is a bad move. It just kills Tomko’s momentum. He broke away from the pack by becoming a lone wolf, and now he’s just another guy in a heel faction.

By the way, when he said he was joining the Angle Alliance because there is strength in numbers, I think he miscounted. The Angle Alliance had just two members, while their adversaries consisted of Cage, Joe and Kevin Nash. If Tomko believed in strength in numbers, shouldn’t he have joined the babyfaces to make it four-on-two? …

Speaking of Nash, it’s great to see that he’s going to be in another pay-per-view main event. You have to be happy when you see someone who works so hard get rewarded. …

So, Eric Young, who was involved in a pay-per-view main event two months ago and has defeated talented wrestlers such as Robert Roode and James Storm, is terrified of Rellik, who wins about as often as the Miami Dolphins did this past season. It’s one thing for a guy to play a sympathetic simpleton, but nobody likes to cheer for a coward. …

I have no idea whether Scott Steiner is a heel or a babyface. He turned on Petey Williams last week and he cut a heel promo before his match last night with Abyss, who is a babyface. But then Abyss inexplicably refused to wrestle, walked back up the ramp and took off his mask. Huh? So then Williams came out to wrestle Steiner, who went on to win due to outside interference from his new freak, Rhaka Khan (like Chaka Khan, get it?). Then, Steiner shook hands with Williams after the match and I took two aspirin for my throbbing head. …

The backstage interview with the Motor City Machine Guns, LAX and some NASCAR drivers (I really don’t care what their names are) was one of the worst segments I have ever seen. Honestly, I don’t know how that made it on the air. When TMCMG were speaking, LAX – especially Salinas – kept jabbering in the background to the point where I couldn’t follow what anyone was saying. Hermie Sadler is a total embarrassment, and those NASCAR drivers are in serious need of a charisma transplant. As a matter of full disclosure, I am not and have never been a fan of NASCAR or any other type of auto racing. So, yes, I am biased on this one. …

The finish to the triple-threat match between Homicide, Jimmy Rave and Chris Sabin, with outside interference by the NASCAR drivers, was amateurish. And the NASCAR announcer who was doing commentary was so bad that he made West sound like Jim Ross. …

While I liked the video package of Rhino, his promo was disappointing. With all the yelling, it came across like a parody of a wrestling promo. Rhino is back for revenge against Storm, which could have been a good angle, except that I no longer take Storm seriously after jobbing so often to Young over the “drinking championship.” …

Minutes after Gail Kim told ODB that she had her back, the two women were shoving each other. Couldn’t they get along even for one week before the requisite dissension?

Posted by Kevin Eck at 3:09 AM | | Comments (12)
        

Comments

yeah, the episode was alright. Definitely agree on the nascar promo in the back being completely unintelligible. Nascar stinks and so do the drivers who watch wrestling. Just because some rednecks know who you are, doesn't mean I care to know.

Hey Kevin,

Can you give us a list of your top Wrestlemania moments and your top Wrestlemania bad moments? I would like to hear your take. For example, where do you rank WM 18 Rock vs Hogan and the crowd intensity?

That episode was completely unproductive. Just when you didn't think Russo could get any worse:


Draw heat on Abyss for walking out on his match against Steiner. Oooooooh he took his mask off. What a shock. That was only a matter of time with Russo writing.

Start a brawl between Gail Kim, and ODB, the 2 most over face women on the roster. How are the fans supposed to take a side in that conflict?

Cause dissension between Styles and Angle, like 6 weeks after their alliance began. Thats really logical, having AJ "marry" Kurt's wife. Apparently Vince Russo
is trying to appeal to polygamists.

Make the champ, Kurt Angle look like an absolute chump. Why would they make him look so foolish, after portraying him as such a tough guy during the Global Impact with NJPW?

Anything else I missed? I didn't see most of the first hour, except for stuff that happened to be on when Lost was at a commercial break.

C'mon Kev , I fully expected to read something alittle more positive than this. Granted , it was again very confusing .But I thought at least entertaining . I think if brother ray would have had acess to the scale "Playboy Buddy Rose" used to weigh -in on , he'd have made weight. (I'm sure no one under 40 even even knows what that references to! ).

TNA would be a much better product if they would spend more time developing storylines and less time trying to swerve everyone. The writers over at TNA know that the swerve is a great tactic, but the real the swerve works is because it catches people off guard. If you spend too much time doing it, it becomes the norm and thus loses its effect. Let me give you an example.

Hypothetical Scenario: John Cena turns heel at Wrestlemania by doing a run on HHH or Batista. Much more effective because WWE has pushed Cena so hard and been consistent as a face for so long...At this point, TNA has swerved so many times that there are no faces and no heels. Only guys whose role will be determined on the fly on whatever night they are on.

"Playboy Buddy Rose", the 'bulbous one', didn't he wrestle until some time in the eighties? And didn't he have a manager at some point?

... for the record, buddy rose was a 300+ lb. bleach blond marshmellow that would angrily grab the mike from ring announcers at the beginning of each match and "correct"him with has proper weight of 224.

That Rhino promo was so horrible, I actually now want James Storm to destroy him at Destination X.

TNA is crossing that subtle fine line of Zen between "suspension of disbelief" to "OK, This is stupid... where's the remote?"

When a wedding skit is the hilite of a Professional Mens Wrestling venue, its time to sort ones personal priorities with life.

It is like watching an Ed Wood Jr movie without Tor Johnson and popcorn.

I really like rhino but you can't take Storm serious any more since the very first match up for that infamous drink championship. Championship which was disputed with Eric. Eric Young. Yes, the guy with the lolly pop face.

Wow, I'm a TNA fan I absolutely hated Thursday's iMPACT!...I mean it toally stunk! I already read the spoilers for next week's show and it wil be the same Russo-rific crap from this week.

Rhino's return was ho-hum at best. He's a good wrestler but I just don't care about him anymore like I should. James Storm needs a major push or else he'll be on his way to WWE soon.

For crying out loud, either fire Eric Young's lame butt, or re-package the idiot.

The use of the NASCAR guys was an absolute travesty. It actually made Smackdown look good. And note to Salinas and LAX: when other wrestlers are giving promos, SHUT UP!!!

Why is Kevin Nash still in wrestling?

I think TNA would be alot better and iMPACT! alot more entertaining if the likes of Kurt & Karen "the Klingon" Angle, Booker T & She-male, and all the other no-talent hasbeens were fired on the spot and replaced with TNA originals with actual talent.

And (Sensational) Sherri Martel was Playboy Buddy Rose and Pretty Boy Doug Somers manager.

Obviously, I'm also over 50.

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About Kevin Eck
The Baltimore Sun's Kevin Eck blogs about professional wrestling.
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