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September 30, 2007

Moviegoers smell what The Rock is cookin’

When I interviewed Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson just over a year ago while he was promoting Gridiron Gang, I saw how enthusiastic he was about his next project, The Game Plan. After hearing the premise – he plays an NFL quarterback living the bachelor lifestyle until he discovers he has a young daughter from a former relationship – and learning that it was a Disney family comedy, I understood why he was so excited about it. With The Game Plan, Johnson figured he could broaden his appeal and become an even bigger movie star.

The early indications are that Johnson’s game plan is a winner. Despite less-than-rave reviews, The Game Plan was No. 1 at the box office this weekend, taking in $22.7 million, according to studio estimates. As a result, Johnson’s Q rating among moms, dads and kids has almost certainly skyrocketed.

I haven’t had a chance to see the movie yet, but I definitely saw a lot of Johnson on Saturday. I spent several hours watching The Disney Channel with my daughter, and Johnson was all over it, including playing himself on an episode of Hannah Montana, a popular kids show starring Billy Ray Cyrus (who just needs a beer in his hand and a cowboy hat to be a dead ringer for TNA’s James Storm).

Being both a wrestling fan and a Johnson fan, I have mixed emotions about his acting fame. The more firmly entrenched in Hollywood Johnson becomes, the slimmer the chances that he ever again steps foot in a wrestling ring. Everyone knows you never say never in pro wrestling, but at this point, there’s probably more likelihood of Bruno Sammartino making a comeback in WWE than there is of Johnson putting the tights back on. And that’s a real shame, because WWE hasn’t been the same without him.

But as much as I miss watching “the most electrifying man in sports entertainment,” I’m happy for his success. Having interviewed Johnson at various stages of his career – the first time was when he was a member of The Nation of Domination in 1997 – I have always found him to be a class act and the kind of guy you root for. When talking with Johnson, it’s apparent that he has a lot of confidence in himself, but that confidence never comes across as arrogance, and he seems truly thankful for his achievements.

September 28, 2007

Cena’s milestone

I’m sure a lot of the John Cena bashers were excited when it was teased on Raw Monday that he would be stripped of the WWE title. Much to their dismay, however, the champ is still here, and even if he had surrendered the title, he already had achieved a milestone. On Monday, Cena officially passed Randy Savage to become the sixth-longest reigning WWE champion in the company’s 44-year history.

Cena, a three-time champ whose current reign began Sept. 17, 2006, is the longest-reigning WWE champion in nearly 20 years. He trails Bruno Sammartino (May 17, 1963 to Jan. 18, 1971), Bob Backlund (Feb. 20, 1978 to Dec. 26, 1983), Hulk Hogan (Jan. 23, 1984 to Feb. 5, 1988), Sammartino (Dec. 10, 1973 to April 30, 1977) and Pedro Morales (Feb. 8, 1971 to Dec. 1, 1973). As a side note, Backlund actually lost the title to Antonio Inoki in Japan in 1979 and regained it six days later, but that title switch is not acknowledged by WWE.

Whether you love or hate Cena, you have to admit that his title reign is impressive in this era of frequent title changes. The WWE title changed hands 11 times in 1999 alone. And while we all know title changes are decided in booking meetings and not in the ring, it says something about Cena that the WWE powers that be believe enough in him to make him the face of the company.

I’m in favor of WWE going with longer title reigns — although sometimes plans have to be altered due to injuries — because title switches mean more when they don’t happen so often. I’m not saying that anyone should ever hold the title for four or five years at a time anymore, but I’m fine with a year or so if the champion is drawing.

I feel pretty confident that Morales won’t have to worry about Cena surpassing him for the fifth-longest reign. If Randy Orton doesn’t win the title from Cena at No Mercy on Oct. 7, Triple H — and possibly Chris Jericho — is looming. I think taking the belt off Cena for a while at this point would be the best thing for him. It might help quell the backlash against him and would add a new dimension to his character by making him the hunter rather than the hunted.

September 27, 2007

WWE’s Biggest Fan is from Dundalk

Anyone who was born and raised in Dundalk like I was has had to endure countless jokes and putdowns. That’s why I always swell up with pride whenever a fellow Dundalkian accomplishes something of significance. And I have never been as, uh, swollen as I was when I learned that the winner of WWE’s Biggest Fan contest is from Dundalk.

Mike Timpson, Dundalk High School Class of 1987, was announced as the winner of the $25,000 grand prize last month in New York.

To enter the contest, one had to submit a 60-second video that demonstrated why he or she was WWE’s Biggest Fan. Timpson, who moved to Los Angeles seven years ago, was one of 15 finalists who were flown to New York during SummerSlam weekend. In addition to the attending the contest finals at Spotlight Live in Times Square, Timpson and the other contestants got to see SummerSlam at Continental Airlines Arena in New Jersey and rub elbows with WWE talent.

When I saw that Mike Timpson of Los Angeles was named WWE’s Biggest Fan, it didn’t register until he sent me an e-mail recently to tell me that he had won. He and I attended the same high school and had mutual friends, but we really didn’t know each other that well.

Timpson, who said he used to take the bus down to the matches at the Baltimore Civic Center (as it was known then) as a kid back when Bruno Sammartino and Bob Backlund were champions, formerly was a producer for 98 Rock and WBAL radio and is now a producer for KABC radio in Los Angeles. He also works as a standup comedian and has written jokes for The Tonight Show and various VH-1 shows.

Timpson put his writing and performing skills to good use when making his video. He had looked at some early submissions on WWE’s Web site before he shot his, and he noticed that a lot of them focused on fans’ vast memorabilia collections. Knowing that his collection, while impressive, would pale in comparison, and also realizing that one of the criteria for the clips was creativity, he decided to go in a totally different direction.

“I tried to produce something funny and entertaining,” Timpson said. “I’m a performer and I made sure that came across.”

He put together a funny series of skits that demonstrated how WWE influenced every aspect of his life — at home, at work and even at the grocery store. Celebrity judges Steve Austin, John Cena and Batista all thought Timpson’s video was humorous and clever.

One of the funniest scenes took place in Timpson’s bedroom, where he had a picture of himself and Vince McMahon hanging above his bed. A woman, whom the judges assumed was Timpson’s wife, played her role perfectly. As it turns out, Timpson isn’t married, and he isn’t even romantically involved with the woman in the clip — she is an actress named Beth Shea and a friend of Timpson’s. And, for the record, Timpson said the McMahon photo was only for dramatic effect.

Timpson said he never really thought he would win, even after he was still standing when the field was whittled to three. When he was announced as the winner, Timpson said he was in shock for a couple seconds. After he was presented with a championship belt for being the Biggest Fan, he said he just stood there in amazement until Jonathan Coachman whispered in his ear, “Hold the belt over your head.”

Timpson, who said he has become friends with several of the other finalists and keeps in contact with them via e-mail, said he thoroughly enjoyed his 15 minutes of fame and especially savored the chance to meet a number of WWE stars.

“All of the wrestlers were so nice,” he said. “Once we got backstage [after the contest], I was just trying to be respectful and stay out of everybody’s way. Then Cena came up to me and said, ‘Timpson, you’re the biggest fan. Act like it.' ”

Must be that fine Dundalk upbringing that made him so humble.

Jericho returning to WWE?

Speculation about Chris Jericho returning to WWE at the No Mercy pay-per-view has been the hot topic on wrestling Web sites the past few days. The buzz was created after a cryptic clip of computerized messages aired on Raw Monday that included “Save_Us.222” and “7_Oct,” the latter being the date of No Mercy.

The clip has become wrestling’s version of the Zapruder film, as people on wrestling Web sites and message boards have tried to decipher the clues. The most telling message in the clip is “CD_Volume 4_1.” The first track on WWE’s fourth CD is Jericho’s entrance theme.

I don’t know for certain that Jericho is coming back, but I have to admit it’s the first thing I thought when I saw the clip. It was very reminiscent of the “Countdown to the Millennium” clips from 1999 that foreshadowed Jericho’s WWE debut. While I have no idea what “222” refers to, “save us” might be a nod to Jericho’s promo on his first night in the company, when he said he was coming to “save the WWF.” Also, there have been signs in the crowd recently that said “Save Us Jericho.”

In his forthcoming autobiography, Jericho reveals that the “Countdown to the Millennium” idea was his, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t the one who dreamed this one up, too. He definitely knows how to get people talking.

It makes sense that Jericho would resurface just as his book is about to be released. Some Web sites have picked up on the fact that Jericho has no appearances scheduled for Mondays on his book tour, but he does have some on Tuesdays, which would indicate that he would be on Raw rather than Smackdown.

Jericho reportedly has been entertaining offers from both WWE and TNA as of late. When I asked him in an interview last July if he was leaning toward either company if and when he made a comeback, he said he was a fan of both (he also put over Ring of Honor). While Jericho could work an easier schedule and be reunited with pal Christian Cage in TNA, I always figured he would go back to WWE because he likes to perform on the biggest stage.

Jericho’s return could be just the shot in the arm that WWE needs.

September 22, 2007

Smackdown jumps the shark

Wedding angles on wrestling programs have traditionally done well in the ratings, and I usually find these segments entertaining. Except for a cameo appearance by The Godfather, however, the Theodore Long-Kristal wedding ceremony on Smackdown last night was boring, annoying and just plain awful.

For a story line like this to work, the characters involved have to be over. Past wedding angles involving Kane and Lita, Edge and Lita, Stephanie McMahon and Test, and Stephanie McMahon and Triple H were memorable for that reason. While Long does a good job in his role as Smackdown general manager, he and Kristal are not characters in which the audience has a significant emotional investment. Everyone knows that something unexpected always happens at these ceremonies and they have a perverse car-wreck quality to them, but when you don’t care about the people involved, there really is no suspense.

The big surprise ending was that Long suffered a “heart attack” just as he was about to say “I do.” Ugh. Long and Kristal’s horrible acting here made me groan louder than when Hornswoggle was revealed as Vince McMahon’s illegitimate son last week. And speaking of Hornswoggle, he was on hand to disrupt the ceremony, so we got to see two bad story lines converge. It was like Gigli Meets Plan Nine From Outer Space.

The worst part of the show was that two guys known as The Ying Yang Twins – who I learned are an Atlanta-based crunk rap duo after doing a Google search – were seemingly in every segment. One of them, I’m not sure if it was Ying or Yang, kept doing this grating honking sound, proving something that I didn’t think was possible: there actually is a human being more irritating than The Miz and a catchphrase more asinine than “Hoo-rah.”

As I was watching the show, I began thinking that if WWE really wanted to get the fans to like John Cena again, the creative team should have had him crash the wedding and deliver the FU to everyone in sight. I know I would have marked out for sure.

A few other quick thoughts on Smackdown:

I like Batista and I’m glad he’s world heavyweight champion again, but he still needs a lot of work on his promos. … JBL, on the other hand, cut a very good promo on Rey Mysterio. … Jimmy Wang Yang – who is not one of the Ying Yang Twins – is always fun to watch. Seeing him in a match with Jamie Noble that included interference by Shannon Moore reminded me of the good old days of The Yung Dragons and 3 Count in WCW. Where was Evan Karagias when you needed him? … MVP and Matt Hardy, as usual, were the best part of the show.

September 21, 2007

Judas Mesias’ uncertain status

After weeks of buildup, Judas Mesias made a big splash in his debut on TNA Impact last week, but now there is a report that he suffered a potentially serious injury last Sunday in Mexico. Mesias was knocked out after taking a bad fall during a ladder match, according to wrestlingobserver.com, which also said that “TNA is very concerned” about him.

If Mesias is out for any length of time, it would be a blow for TNA, which obviously was planning a major push for him. On last night’s Impact, Mesias wrestled his first match in TNA, defeating Eric Young. He also attacked Sting backstage in the final segment.

Other thoughts on last night’s show:

It’s amazing to see Kurt Angle back to playing a goofy character who likes to give hugs (last night’s recipient of an Angle embrace was Kevin Nash). When Angle was playing a comedic heel in WWE, it made for some entertaining television, but it prevented him from becoming the big draw he should have been. Angle’s character in WWE eventually became more serious and dangerous, as he started doing a shooter gimmick. He continued to play that role when he jumped to TNA, but now he’s a funny guy again. It’s a shame Angle isn’t as protective of his character as guys like Steve Austin, Hulk Hogan and Triple H are of theirs. …

From a logic standpoint, why would Angle seek advice from “Dr. Nash” anyway? I know, looking for logic in Vince Russo’s writing is pointless. …

Mike Tenay said Junior Fatu was using that name to honor his family. That’s funny. I thought it was because WWE owns the name “Rikishi.” Fatu, by the way, has gained even more weight since his WWE days and was moving pretty slow in his match against Christian Cage. …

Every time Samoa Joe appears on the show in street clothes he looks like a fan who jumped the rail. That’s something that wouldn’t happen in WWE. Perception is everything in wrestling, and if he wants to be perceived as a star, he should look like one. The T-shirt, shorts and sneakers look just doesn’t do it. Jeans, better shoes and a dressier shirt would do the trick.

September 20, 2007

Now on WWE 24/7 … me!

So, I was watching an episode of Tuesday Night Titans from January 1986 on WWE 24/7 On Demand last night, and when the camera panned the studio audience, I spotted a familiar face. Mine.

For those fans not old enough to remember, Tuesday Night Titans was pro wrestling’s version of The Tonight Show, with Vince McMahon in the Johnny Carson role, and Lord Alfred Hayes as the Ed McMahon-like second banana. TNT ran every Tuesday night on the USA Network in the days before Monday Night Raw.

The show took place at a studio in Owings Mills, where they would tape three weeks worth of shows in one day. Being a wrestling junkie, I had to be there. There were several occasions when I would sit in the audience for all three shows.

As I was watching last night, I wasn’t quite sure if that show was one that I had attended. As the closing credits rolled, however, there I was in all my mid-1980s glory, still several months away from my 19th birthday. If you’re curious, I’m the skinny kid with a preppy shirt and the Alex P. Keaton hairdo. I think Vince’s hair is actually a little puffier than mine is, but it’s close.

While I’m on the subject of wrestling on television, there were noteworthy developments recently regarding TNA Impact and Raw.

It became official last week that Impact is expanding to two hours beginning Oct. 4. It was the realization of a longtime goal for the company, but I’m not all that excited about it.

I know that TNA gets criticized for trying to jam too much into one hour, and therefore nothing has impact (no pun intended). But I like that the show moves quickly, and I think it helps keep characters fresh by not having everyone on the show every week. Plus, two hours of television written by Vince Russo isn’t a good thing. Honestly, I don’t think any wrestling show other than Raw needs to be longer than an hour.

The main reason I didn’t want TNA to add an hour is because my wife is just going to love hearing that I now have more wrestling to watch.

As for Raw, the rating for Monday’s episode was 3.3, which was a significant drop from last week’s 3.9. I can’t say I’m really surprised. Hornswoggle does not equal ratings.

Raw usually suffers a ratings drop during football season, but this was the night after a pay-per-view, when ratings typically get a boost. I think the John Cena-Randy Orton stuff has been strong, but the illegitimate son story line obviously turned out to be a letdown. It will be very interesting to see how WWE responds.

Real Sports piece disappointing

I wasn’t impressed by the piece on wrestling deaths by HBO’s Real Sports that first aired Tuesday night. I expected a show that is so critically acclaimed to break some new ground, but it was just the same old statistics and reports that everyone has become familiar with since the Chris Benoit tragedy. It definitely wasn’t an example of in-depth reporting, as the segment seemed like it was thrown together without much thought or effort.

The piece was a follow-up to the show’s 2003 report on the subject. That one, which had memorable interviews with Vince McMahon and Roddy Piper, had more substance, but I also recall host Bryant Gumbel being even more condescending than usual.

The best part of Tuesday’s show was the interview with Marcus “Buff” Bagwell. He discussed the pitfalls of the wrestling business, but said that he still wrestles on the independent circuit – despite being in pain – because it is all that he knows how to do. Bagwell also talked about his need for prescription pain medicine and admitted to taking pain pills before the interview.

Of course, we all knew Armen Keteyian’s interview with McMahon from the 2003 show was going to be replayed. I remember thinking when I saw it the first time that McMahon really made himself look bad by morphing into his wrestling character and trying to bully Keteyian by slapping his notes out of his hand. It looks even worse now after the Benoit tragedy and all the other deaths. What set McMahon off was when Keteyian asked him if he felt any responsibility for the deaths in wrestling, and McMahon sternly replied: “I would accept no responsibility whatsoever for their untimely deaths.” I realize it is McMahon’s nature to be defiant and come out swinging if he feels cornered, but he has to be smarter than that.

September 19, 2007

A tale of two fathers

A little later than usual, but here are my thoughts on Monday’s Raw:

The main thing we learned from this episode is that you would rather have Mr. Cena for a father than Mr. McMahon.

While I am disappointed that Randy Orton didn’t win the WWE title from John Cena at either of the past two pay-per-views – and I especially disliked how their match at Unforgiven was booked – I do like how the feud has played out on Raw. My complaint when the Cena-Orton program first started was that it was lacking intensity, but that definitely has not been the case since John Cena’s father was written into the story line.

Orton, Cena and even Mr. Cena (who works on the indy scene as heel manager Johnny Fabulous) have been terrific in their respective roles. As good as the angle has been in establishing Cena as a sympathetic babyface and Orton as cold-blooded heel, however, the majority of fans are still booing Cena and cheering Orton. In the past, that would usually mean someone was turning, but that’s most likely not happening here. I think a lot of the backlash would subside if WWE just got the title off Cena for a while. …

While Mr. Cena was willing to risk life and limb for his boy, Mr. McMahon was not as loyal to his newfound son, as he unsuccessfully tried to put Hornswoggle up for adoption. I find McMahon entertaining even when he is given bad material – and this was pretty bad – but I just don’t have any interest in this story line. I hope it doesn’t drag on too much longer. …

The best part of the McMahon stuff last night was Triple H’s involvement. As I have said before, Triple H is best suited for the smart-aleck babyface role that he is currently playing. His comedic promo with McMahon wasn’t as funny as some of The Rock’s classic bits – or even some of Santino Marella’s – but it still was good for a few chuckles. …

The part that I didn’t like with Triple H is that he single-handedly buried the tag team champions and the No. 1 contenders all in one segment. I don’t care if it’s a superstar like Triple H or not, one man should never be booked to defeat the tag team champions. It was bad enough that Triple H beat Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch, but then after Paul London and Brian Kendrick helped him ward off a three-on-one attack, he laid both of them out, too. I’m all for Triple H playing an anti-hero babyface, but it really made London and Kendrick look like fools, which was unnecessary. …

Jeff Hardy and Shelton Benjamin had a really good match. Why Hardy was squashed by The Great Khali last week I’ll never know, because he would be a fresh face at the top of the card and the fans want him there. Benjamin has been buried so much in recent months that it’s easy to forget how talented he really is. …

Nothing says the roster is a little thin right now more than Hacksaw Duggan wrestling on Raw.

September 17, 2007

Unforgiven thoughts

On paper, last night’s WWE pay-per-view didn’t look all that impressive. In fact, there was really only one match – John Cena vs. Randy Orton – that interested me. As long as that match delivered, though, all would be forgiven if the rest of Unforgiven wasn’t all that special.

Unfortunately, the booking in the Cena-Orton bout was unforgivable. It was a pretty short match that ended with Cena being disqualified. As I wrote last month when there was a disqualification in the Batista-Great Khali match at SummerSlam, a non-pinfall finish in a marquee pay-per-view match makes anyone who paid for the show feel like they have been ripped off.

I don’t fault WWE for wanting to keep the Cena-Orton feud going, but there were better ways to build for a third pay-per-view match between the two. Here’s an idea: Why not let Orton win the title and have Cena be in the chase position for a change? Judging by the negative crowd reactions to Cena, WWE certainly isn’t doing him any favors by having him hold onto the title. Fans aren’t booing Cena because they don’t want to see him; they are booing him because they are tired of seeing him as champion. I am not a Cena-basher by any means, but it’s definitely past due for him to lose the title, and Orton is ready.

Other observations on the pay-per-view:

I was pleasantly surprised when Batista won the world heavyweight title from The Great Khali in the triple threat match that also included Rey Mysterio. I was beginning to think that the WWE creative team was never going to give Batista another title reign. With The Undertaker back, Batista may not be holding it for long, though.

It was no shock to see The Undertaker and Triple H score convincing wins over Mark Henry and Carlito, respectively. I agree that both should have been put over strong, but Carlito seemed to be unnecessarily buried. …

I’m hoping that CM Punk’s win over Elijah Burke means that Burke won’t be getting any more title shots. Judging by the way the match was laid out (with Burke in control most of the way) and the commentary, that doesn’t seem to be the case, however. Nothing against Burke, but I’m ready to see Punk wrestle someone other than him or John Morrison. Yes, even Big Daddy V. …

I’m glad that Matt Hardy and MVP retained the WWE tag team title against Deuce and Domino, thus keeping their very entertaining odd couple angle going. …

Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch have good chemistry with Paul London and Brian Kendrick. This could be a hot feud if the tag team titles hadn’t been so devalued over the years. …

I was expecting Beth Phoenix to win the WWE women’s title from Candice Michelle, but Michelle pulling out the victory after Phoenix dominated the match is a good way to continue the feud.

September 16, 2007

Previewing Unforgiven

Predictions for tonight’s WWE pay-per-view:

WWE champion John Cena vs. Randy Orton: I’ve thought for months that Orton was going to be the one to take the title off Cena, and I was stunned that it didn’t happen at SummerSlam. Perhaps Vince McMahon thought too many fans “knew” Orton was winning and he decided to change the finish. I’m guessing that tonight will be Orton’s night.

World heavyweight champion The Great Khali vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Batista: I also thought for sure that Batista was winning the title at SummerSlam. Unlike Orton, however, I don’t think it’s happening for “The Animal” tonight. Khali retains.

The Undertaker vs. Mark Henry: I don’t like Henry’s chances.

Triple H vs. Carlito: I don’t like Carlito’s chances, either.

ECW champion CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke: This match illustrates how thin ECW’s roster is. I can’t take Burke seriously as a challenger when he just got pinned by Balls Mahoney on TV last month. Plus, didn’t Punk already defeat Burke at Judgment Day back in May? I’ll be shocked if Punk doesn’t win.

World tag team champions Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch vs. Paul London and Brian Kendrick: I like both teams and this should be an entertaining match. I’ll go with the champs.

WWE tag team champions MVP and Matt Hardy vs. Deuce and Domino: The MVP-Hardy odd couple bit has been the best thing on Smackdown recently. I wouldn’t mind seeing it go on a little longer, but my guess is that MVP either attacks or abandons Hardy, resulting in Deuce and Domino regaining the belts.

WWE women’s champion Candice Michelle vs. Beth Phoenix: Phoenix has distinguished herself from the other divas with her powerful style and look. I expect a title change.

September 14, 2007

Judas Mesias makes Impact

Anyone who has read this blog knows that I generally find WWE more entertaining that TNA. However, when comparing the ending of Monday’s Raw to last night’s Impact, TNA wins in a squash.

After weeks of buildup on their respective shows, WWE went for laughs by revealing that Hornswoggle was Vince McMahon’s illegitimate son, while TNA went for the jugular by debuting Judas Mesias in memorable — and gory — fashion.

I’m not usually a big fan of supernatural elements in wrestling angles, but this one worked. Mesias’ bloody beat-down of Abyss after coming up through the ring in a cloud of smoke was the best segment I have seen on Impact since Abyss was laid out by Christian Cage and his henchmen earlier this year.

Mesias (Ricky Banderas, who was last seen feuding with Vampiro on MTV’s Wrestling Society X) looked truly menacing, unlike Dustin Rhodes as Black Reign, who looked truly ridiculous. With Jim Mitchell cutting promos for him, Mesias has potential to be a main-event player in TNA, which could use some fresh faces at the top of the card.

If the ending to last night’s show is any indication, the Abyss-Mesias feud should be good. I’m just wondering where TNA can go after we’ve already seen so many matches involving thumbtacks, broken glass and barbed wire.

Other thoughts on last night’s show:

I liked how TNA used Matt Morgan, who had a confrontation with Christian, Tomko and A.J. Styles. His work in the ring has never been great, but he has size, can cut a decent promo and has shown some intensity as of late. He could end up becoming a big star in TNA. …

Jay Lethal and Christopher Daniels had a good match. What else would you expect from these two? …

As usual, there were some problems with the booking, but since I thought the good outweighed the bad on Impact this week, I’ll give them a break this time.

September 11, 2007

Hornswoggled

It’s been a rough night and I need to vent.

Two of my passions are the Ravens and pro wrestling – and they both let me down in a big way. Actually, you could say they both came up a little short.

I could go on and on about the Ravens’ brutal band of butterfingers (six turnovers!), but since this a wrestling blog, I’ll focus instead on how WWE dropped the ball.

Angry and frustrated after the Ravens’ loss, I looked forward to watching my tape of Raw for the long-awaited payoff to the “Who is Vince McMahon’s illegitimate son?” story line. When the newest addition to the McMahon family turned out to be Hornswoggle, I just shook my head and rolled my eyes – basically the same facial expression I had when the Ravens decided to pass the ball on third-and-one in the fourth quarter, which resulted in an interception and led to the game-winning touchdown. But I digress – back to Raw.

The revelation of Hornswoggle as McMahon’s son is so bad that if I didn’t know any better, I’d swear Vince Russo was once again leading the WWE creative team. Before I go any further, please remember that I was all for WWE doing this story line. This is what I wrote six weeks ago when the angle began: “There is potential for a compelling story, and I am curious to see who will play the role of McMahon’s love child. It could be a major career boost for a young wrestler to get the ‘rub’ of being the illegitimate member of the McMahon clan.”

I thought it was a smart move to have a story line that weaved through all three WWE shows and created a buzz. When so much TV time is devoted to an angle, however, there is an expectation among viewers that the payoff will be worth the investment of their time and interest. For WWE to have delivered on the buildup, a high-profile wrestler or a young wrestler on the rise needed to be revealed as the mystery man.

I was expecting the son, whoever it was, to either battle McMahon or side with him in a family feud. And surely there would be pay-per-view matches involving Shane McMahon and perhaps even Triple H against the new McMahon. Somehow I doubt that Hornswoggle will be wrestling Triple H.

Kudos to those of you who actually guessed that it was Hornswoggle. I never believed for one second that WWE would go that route, but I guess the joke is on those of us who gave WWE the benefit of the doubt on this story line.

As Santino Marella, the most entertaining man in sports entertainment, so eloquently put it last night: “You trick me once, shame on me. No, shame on you. It doesn’t matter. You’re not gonna trick me again.”

September 10, 2007

Orlando Brown’s wrestling debut

Former Ravens offensive tackle Orlando Brown had been advertised to make his pro wrestling debut last night for Maryland Championship Wrestling, but “Zeus” never got into the ring.

MCW was promoting a six-man tag match as its main event at the North Point Flea Market in Dundalk, featuring Brown and former Ravens guard Jeff Blackshear on Danny Doring’s team. While Blackshear did indeed wrestle, Brown only signed autographs at the event, as did former teammates Bennie Thompson and Wally Williams.

It turns out there was a miscommunication with Brown’s agent, MCW owner Dan McDevitt said. McDevitt said he thought there was a deal in place for Brown to participate in the match, but that Brown was under the impression that he was just making a personal appearance.

When I called Brown last week to discuss his ring debut for a story in The Sun, it was obvious that there was some confusion as to who was doing what. “Wrestling? I’m not wrestling. I’m just signing autographs,” he said.

So, to sum it up, Brown performed as many wrestling moves Sunday night as Adam "Pacman" Jones has in TNA.

September 7, 2007

Flair out; Sid in?

Ric Flair deserves better than to go out like this. For those who missed it, Pro Wrestling Torch broke the news earlier this week that Flair has given his notice to WWE. Flair reportedly was unhappy with his diminished role, and his reasons for leaving had nothing to do with the recent suspensions for wellness policy violations.

One could argue that Flair, 58, should have retired a few years ago, but that’s missing the point. The fact is that whenever Flair was going to stop wrestling full-time — I won’t use the word “retire,” because few wrestlers every completely stop donning the tights — he should have departed with a major story line, not with a headline on a wrestling Web site.

There still is hope that Flair can leave with a bang, as WWE supposedly is trying to woo him back — or is that “Wooooo!” him back? — with the promise of a significant angle.

I’m betting that the “Nature Boy” returns, and if he does, there is big money in the 16-time world champion making one last run at a world title. Here’s what I would do: When Edge gets back, WWE should put the world heavyweight title back on him. Flair would then announce that he wants one final title match on the big stage — at WrestleMania 24 — and he will retire regardless of the outcome. Hey, if Rocky Balboa can do it, why not Flair? It could be billed as a “Match for the Ages.”

The angles and promos leading up to the match would be tremendous, with Edge as the cocky champion who has no respect for Flair’s legacy, and Flair as the sentimental favorite. Despite the 25-year age difference, the match would be believable because Flair and Edge are such good performers. The two have worked well together in previous matches, and I’d expect Flair to rise to the occasion once again.

It would be fitting if WWE inducted Flair into its Hall of Fame the night before the show, and then Flair won the title at the pay-per-view. Edge is so over that losing to Flair wouldn’t damage his character one bit. At the following Smackdown, Flair could give a tearful farewell promo, saying that he is keeping his promise to retire, and thus relinquishing the belt. That’s a perfect ending to one of the greatest careers in the history of wrestling.

In other news involving a former member of the Four Horsemen, it is rumored that WWE might have interest in bringing in Sid Vicious. I have no idea how much truth there is to it, but that would be a horrible mistake for several reasons.

With steroids and suspensions making headlines, Sid would be the last person WWE should want on the roster, especially because he has been described as being physically equal to how he looked when he was in his prime. I’m not making any accusations, but Sid is 46, and a hulking, ripped physique at his age would definitely raise eyebrows.

But beyond that, what value would Sid have? He was a big name in the late 1980s and 1990s, but he was not a big draw and he never lived up to the hype.

It’s not exactly a secret that Sid has wanted one more big run for several years. I have read interviews in which he has said that he has a great idea for a story line, one that’s never been done before.

I actually have some inside information on that. According to a former WCW star, Sid’s big idea is to do a “Bionic Man” gimmick. Basically, Sid would do an injury angle in which he required surgery, and the doctors would implant bionic parts in his body.

You know, Sid, there’s a reason that story line has never been done.

With Angles, less is more

Some thoughts on last night’s TNA Impact:

There was a lot I liked about the show, especially the fact that Kurt and Karen Angle were in just two segments. There’s no denying that Kurt is the company’s biggest star and Karen plays her role remarkably well for someone who has so little experience in front of the camera, but turning Impact into Total Nonstop Angles every week was hurting the show. TNA actually has more depth on its roster than at any point in its five-year history, but you wouldn’t know it by watching the past few weeks.

I still don’t understand why Angle needs to be in three matches at the No Surrender pay-per-view Sunday. And it is completely ridiculous for him to hold all of the titles in TNA. Even Triple H never tried to pull that one. …

I liked the interaction between Sting and the Angles during their interview, and the main event of Sting and Kurt Angle vs. Abyss and Jay Lethal had some nice action and told a good story. …

It seems pretty obvious that Judas Mesias is going to interfere in the Angle-Abyss match Sunday. Jim Mitchell cuts great promos and is a compelling character, but the Abyss-Mesias angle comes off as a rip-off of Undertaker-Kane. Speaking of Kane, I saw the new Halloween the other night, and Rob Zombie's version of Michael Myers is a dead ringer for The Big Red Machine when he first arrived on the scene. ...

When it was announced at the top of the show that the Dream Team would be facing Abyss and Lethal, I thought for a second that TNA had signed Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine. It would probably be a better idea than signing Scott Hall, which is the latest rumor. …

It was odd having Kaz lose clean to Tomko three days before Kaz’s match against Robert Roode at the pay-per-view. Tomko, by the way, is becoming one of my favorite characters in TNA, which is surprising because I saw nothing in him when he was in WWE. Tomko’s character has more layers than just about anyone on the roster. It’s obvious that he is turning babyface at some point, but it is a slow, gradual turn. The way he came to Ms. Brooks’ defense when Roode was bullying her is another step in that direction. Tomko kind of reminds me of Batista when he was in Evolution. He goes along with Christian but makes it obvious that he sees through him, just as Batista had done with Triple H. …

James Storm has done a great job developing his heel persona. The breakup of America’s Most Wanted was the best thing that ever happened to him. …

TNA was trying to get heat on Christian for his attack on Samoa Joe and his two Samoan dancers, but I don’t think it was successful. First of all, the audience hasn’t been conditioned to care about these guys, who were just window dressing for Joe’s entrance. Plus, when two non-wrestlers enter the ring to make a save, aren’t they fair game? …

Adam “Pacman” Jones was on the show again with his trusty can of spray paint. Yawn.

September 5, 2007

Benoit’s brain trauma

There’s no news that could ever be good news when it comes to the Chris Benoit double murder-suicide. But for those looking for answers as to how someone who was so well-liked and respected by his peers could commit such unspeakable crimes, today’s developments might shed some light.

Doctors who studied Benoit’s brain suggested that repeated concussions could have contributed to the killings. One of the doctors stressed that there is no way to know for sure if the concussions played a role, but the level of brain damage Benoit had can cause depression and irrational behavior, he said.

If anything, this further discounts the “roid rage” theory, which I never bought into. That was a rush to judgment by the cable news shows that were looking for the most sensationalistic angle possible.

As the one doctor stated, we will never know for certain what caused Benoit to do what he did, but the concussion theory seems plausible. It’s also possible that steroids played a role, as well, because depression and paranoia are side effects of the drugs.

The Sports Legacy Institute, whose president is former WWE wrestler Christopher Nowinski, did the study of Benoit’s brain tissue. Nowinski, whose career ended prematurely due to concussions and has written a book about the subject, had contacted Benoit’s father for the rights to examine Chris’ brain. Nowinski’s mission is to raise awareness of the dangers of head trauma in pro wrestling as well as other sports.

It is obvious from watching WWE programming recently that the company has encouraged its talent to tone down some of the crazy bumps, which is a smart move and the right thing to do. With that being said, however, Umaga still took a few hard chair shots to the head on Raw Monday. I won’t go so far as to say that chair shots to the head should be outlawed, but I would hope that the wrestler on the receiving end protects himself as much as possible by getting his hand up right before the blow is delivered.

It won’t make him any less hardcore or tough in my eyes, especially in light of today's news.