LAKE PLACID, N.Y. //

If Andrei Lutai had followed my lead, he would still be known as the lousy Russian figure skater who wore pink gloves during his performance and finished 10th out of 12 contestants.

But, noooo. He staggered out of a party and down Main Street to the lot of Central Garage, previously known as the establishment that left customers' car keys in their unlocked vehicles.

Even in his inebriated state, Lutai found the keys and went for a ride shortened by the appearance of flashing lights in the rearview mirror.

He blew a .18, more than double the legal limit. Busted.

 Each week in The Toy Department, veteran Baltimore Sun sportswriter Mike Klingaman tracks down a former local sports figure and lets you know what's going on in his/her life in a segment called, "Catching Up With ... " Let Klingaman know who you'd like him to find and click here to check out previous editions of "Catching Up With ... "

He had one of the shortest names of anyone to play for the Baltimore Colts – and one of the longest careers here.

For 13 years, David Lee punted for the Colts, sending spirals airborne and often pinning opponents near their goal line. Twice, he won the NFL punting crown (1966 and 1969) while helping Baltimore to six division titles and a Super Bowl victory.

Lee retired in 1978, having punted 838 times for more than 34,000 yards, or nearly 20 miles. But it was one lousy kick, early in his career, that the All Pro remembers most.

"I shanked a punt, stormed off the field, tore off my helmet and started to swing at the water cooler," Lee said.

Then John Unitas tapped his 6-foot-4 teammate on the shoulder.

"You’ve got to forget about that (bleeping) kick," the Colts’ quarterback said, "because you may have to do it again in five minutes."

Lee nodded and cooled off.

"At that moment, I knew what made John tick – bad plays never affected him," he said. "I never forgot."

Minor alarms have been sounding, and you can pick up the gist of what's being said just by reading some of the headlines. "Phelps Fails Again." "World records tumble around hapless Phelps." "Phelps a Flop in Berlin" And my personal favorite: "Phelps Looks Like an Imposter."

Phelps does look a little like an imposter, although it has less do with times and more to do with physical appearance. He's clearly not in shape -- and pointed this out repeatedly before competing -- and wasn't even motivated enough to shave a massive beard, or the rest of his body, including his arm pits, prior to the races. It's also short-course events, where the pool is just 25 meters long as opposed to 50 meters. It's not exactly like comparing miniature golf to Augusta National, but no one takes short course events as seriously as events contested in an Olympic-length pool.

 Too bad it didn't work out for Hauschka in Baltimore. He's a good kid and a stand-up guy who never tried to alibi for his misses.

 In training camp, he was bombarded with questions on a daily basis about what it was like to replace Mr. Automatic, Matt Stover. And Hauchka said all the right things. He praised Stover over and over, talked about how much he'd learned at the foot of the Kick-Master last season when they were teammates, talked about how grateful he was that the Ravens were confident enough in him to make him their kicker.

 Now he's gone. After just nine games.

It shows you how demanding the job of an NFL kicker is. And how pressurized it is, too.

 Three strikes -- three misses -- and you're out.

 I hope Steve Hauschka catches on with another NFL team. But if he doesn't, it also shows you how fleeting an NFL career can be. 

We had one here in Baltimore years ago. His name was Robert Irsay. He owned the Baltimore Colts. And before he called in the Mayflower vans and moved the team to Indianapolis in the early 80's, his bizarre antics -- often fueled by a healthy appetite for alcohol -- alternately amused and horrified sports fans in this town.

Now here is 86-year-old Bud Adams, owner of the Tennessee Titans, who appears to be a worthy successor to Irsay.

During the Titans 41-17 pasting of the Buffalo Bills in Nashville last Sunday, Adams was captured on camera giving the finger to Bills fans from his luxury suite.

Apparently concerned that they didn't get the full meaning of the gesture, he repeated it on the sidelines  moments later.

 Just having a little fun with the out-of-town fans, was probably Adams thinking at the time.

 But that's not the kind of fun the suits at NFL corporate headquarters can handle -- especially when it's captured on film and played on every newscast in the country, not to mention Internet web sites all over the world.

 So the league fined Adams $250,000. And he issued a statement of apology, adding: "I got caught up in the excitement of a great day, but I do realize that those types of things shouldn't happen."

 Again, the man is 86 years old.

All of Nashville is still buzzing over the incidents.

 Sigh. I remember when we used to have that kind of buzz around here.

Sure, a win is a win in the NFL. But this ugly 16-0 victory over the Browns on "Monday Night Football" didn't exactly allay any fears that the Ravens are nothing more than a .500 football team right now.

 The team got off to another slow start. The offense continued to look listless. Kicker Steve Hauschka looked very shaky, hooking a 36-yard field goal attempt and having an extra-point try blocked.

 He's a basket case right now. Don't be surprised if the Ravens give him his walking papers and sign another kicker, pronto, especially with the undefeated Indy Colts coming into town this weekend.

 The Ravens also suffered a couple of key injuries to Terrell Suggs (knee sprain) and Haruki Nakamura (broken ankle.)

 Hoo, boy.

 But for all the Ravens' problems right now, the one good thing you can say is: at least they're not the Browns.

Is that team a mess or what? The offense is a joke. Poor Brady Quinn was terrible at quarterback all night. He seemed WAY too amped up, throwing fastballs at his receivers from 10 yards away -- and inaccurate fastballs at that. If he's listed as the starter again next week, the Browns might as well not even show up for the game.

 No wonder Cleveland Browns Stadium was emptying by the middle of the third quarter and practically deserted by the time the game ended.

How much ugly football can Browns fans take?

 No wonder there's so much heavy-drinking in the Dawg Pound. You'd HAVE to be loaded to watch that team.

Then Bud Light trotted out Jimmy Football.

Is it me or does this guy get on your last nerve in these "Tailgate-tested, Tailgate-approved" spots? I want to close a tailgate on his head.

I whimpered through the Bud Light Grooler spot. I cried softly through the Bud Light Foozie spot. I wept through the Bud Light Tailgate Companion spot.

"Make it stop!" I said to my wife, because she had the remote.

 But the spot for the Bud Light 3-in-1 condiment gun sent me over the edge.

 Watching Jimmy Football pretend to spray ketchup, mustard and relish in rapid-fire, machine-gun fashion from what looks like a caulking gun, a look of pure rapture on his face, over-loaded my central nervous system.

 I started shaking all over. And I haven't stopped since.

I read somewhere that Jimmy Football is a spoof of recently-deceased, ulta-loud TV pitchman Billy Mays.

 The man must be rolling over in his grave.

Oh, what a mental meltdown by Bill Belichick!

What in the world was New England's resident sideline genius thinking?

With the Pats leading 34-28 and 2:08 remaining, the Hoodie Master went for a first down instead of punting the ball on a fourth-and-two situation from New England's 28-yard line.

 Yes, his own 28-yard line!

Who did Belichick think was quarterbacking the Colts: Kyle Boller?

You can't give Peyton Manning, maybe the best quarterback of all time, the ball on your 28-yard line with the game on the line.

"PUNT IT AWAY! PUNT IT AWAY!" -- that's what every Patriots fan with half a brain was screaming. "AT LEAST MAKE MANNING GO THE LENGTH OF THE FIELD!"

But the Hoodie Master had other ideas.

Or maybe no ideas.

The Pats went for it, Kevin Faulk was stopped inches short of a first down, and Manning took over a whole 28 yards from paydirt.

Cue the theme from "Jaws." The Patriots were chum in the water.

Which is what Coach Hoodie is this morning to the Boston media. They're killing him. And with good reason.

His arrogance -- or his brain-cramp -- cost the Patriots a win and the conference title.

Unbelievable.

Banners around the rink at Skate America Sunday afternoon hearalded the much-anticipated coronation of the "Queen," who set a world record in the short program the previous day. Members of the Korean community, some of them arriving by charter bus from New York City, filled the seats and waved Korean flags.

But Kim's long program performance was anything but regal. She fell once and lurched from one element to another, showing none of the grace and style that marked her as the woman to beat at the Vancouver Olympics in February. Only three of her planned six triple jumps were clean.

However, on the strength of the short program, she carried the day with a final score of 187.98.

American Rachael Flatt took the long program by five points, landing seven clean triple jumps and faltering only in the final seconds when she botched a combination spin. Her final score was 174.91, good for the silver medal.

Hungary's Julia Sebestyen finished third, with a score of 159.03.

Returning to competition for the first time in more than a year, U.S. skater Emily Hughes finished 52 points behind the winner for seventh place. Teammate Alexe Gilles took 10th place.  

For Hamilton, the Holiday Concert on Ice presented an opportunity to get back in skating shape since his retirement five years ago and return to the spotlight and audiences he missed.

For Meissner, the former national and world champion from Bel Air, the show was a way to work with one of her sports heroes.

"Any chance I get to be with Scott and work with Scott, I'm there," she said. "He has spent his life helping and inspiring others. Who wouldn't want to be skating with him?"

Forty-six peaks stand at more than 3,800 feet, from Mount Marcy, at 5,344, the state's tallest, to

Tatiana Volosozhar and Stanislav Morozov of the Ukraine are in second behind the Chinese pair with a score of 61.70 and Meagan Duhamel and Craig Buntin of Canada are in third place with a score of 59.64.

Dressed all in black and skating to Firebird, world champion and two-time U.S. champion Evan Lysacek won the men's short program with an explosive performance that earned him a score of 79.17.

"Overall, I like the program a lot," said Lysacek. It's something very different for me. It will continue to grow and improve."

France's Florent Amodio finished second with a score of 72.65. Brandon Mroz, in his second full season as a member of the U.S. senior team, is in third place with a score of 71.40.  The men will conclude their competition Saturday evening with the free skate.

It's been 25 years since a U.S. man holding the world title went on to win Olympic gold. That skater, Scott Hamilton, is acting as Lysacek's mentor this season, counseling him on handling the spotlight and pressure.

"I don't think anyone is the one to beat in Vancouver," said Lysacek, brushing aside questions about being the front runner.