For a variety of reasons, I was a little surprised to read that gymnast Shawn Johnson has a stalker and that he was arrested outside of "Dancing with the Stars." I mean, I understand that there are sick people and they're motivated by sick impulses. But there were other things I just didn't understand: 1) Why do people watch "Dancing with the Stars?" and 2) Shawn Johnson? A 17-year-old Olympian? Really?

KVV interviewed Johnson before the Summer Games and he reports she sounded like Rainbow Brite on helium. So why? WHY?

OK, we're not going to make light of the danger posed or the gravity of the situation surrounding Johnson. But it does raise a question I've often thought about: If you could follow an athlete or team around the country for an extended period of time, who would you choose? Not like a paparazzo. And not in that creepy never-showering, cutting-out-letters-from-magazines, wearing-black-eyeliner kind of way. I mean like a Grateful Dead fan. Like a Phish groupie. Like Ryan Seacrest's team of hairstylists.

This isn't simply about watching your favorite team; rather you've got to decide which athlete or team is guaranteed fun, provides something different every time out and is certain to never grow stale. I've got the team category narrowed down to the Cubs and any English soccer team. And in the athlete category, I've got Tiger Woods, Lebron James and Anna Kournikova.