Hey, instant poll time!

Which team in the last 24 hours absorbed the absolute worst, most humiliating, most soul-crushing, question-your-very-reason-for-playing ass-whupping?

* The Orioles, skunked by Francisco Liriano (seven innings, one hit) in that 4-0 smackdown in Minnesota yesterday afternoon?

* The Miami Heat, bludgeoned by the Dallas Mavericks in Game 2 of the NBA Finals last night, down by 27 in the third quarter, Jerry Stackhouse (!) driving in the final nails in the final seconds of the first half, making the most irresistible force in the Finals over the last decade sit on the bench nearly the whole fourth quarter, and inspiring him to blow off the post-game interviews and eat $10,000 in fine money?

* Or the U.S. Soccer team, who told everybody they'd be crazy if they held to the old stereotypes about them and didn't give them a shot in the World Cup, pummeled 3-0 by the Czech Republic a few minutes ago?

Well, at least the Orioles' debasement wasn't on display for the entire nation to see. For that matter, the beating the Heat took might have been missed by a lot of people because of the late tip-off; for certain, many don't know the final score because they likely were smart enough to turn it off and go to bed during the third quarter. Hey, Shaq was done by then, so why did we need to stay up?

But we ran a question of the day not long ago asking about skipping work or taking a long lunch to watch the big U.S. opener. Just goes to show you, if you're going to disrupt your life, job security and sleep patterns for a World Cup game, find another country to follow. Nationalistic fervor aside, this team ain't worth the effort. Go back to the office, eat your three squares, and if you must, hit the pub to see Brazil or Italy or Trinidad and Tobago.

Granted, this was the first game. Group play is far from over. But c'mon. Has so much talk ever been backed up by so little? All this "Watch out for the U.S.A.'' talk. Between all the talk of how our soccer is being disrespected around the world, and the condescending explanations by hardcore soccer fans about why we haven't embraced the sport like every other nation has (something to do with us being too stupid to understand it and having too short an attention span to appreciate it), there definitely is an annoyance factor following the U.S. team to Germany. It really needed to show something. What it showed is that it can do a pretty good impression of a team that doesn't belong.

The hard numbers say the United States was ranked fifth in the world coming into Cup play. They sure didn't play like it today. Even if you know the mere basics about the sport at this level, you know that it's really, really hard to lose 3-0 in the World Cup, unless you just fielded a team for the first time last year. What a disaster.

You know, on second thought, I could make this just a general list of meltdowns and include Michelle Wie. But that would be cruel.