To: Kevin, et al.

Subject: Free Republic of Towson = not so bad

Here's the updated medal standings. It's pretty tight race, as you can see. All things considered, it seems clear to me that the Greater Baltimore area -- or Towson, if you wanna be particular about it -- should secede from the union and fully flex its athletic muscle to show the world just how much the area rocks.

Nation   Gold   Silver   Bronze   Total

U.S.         21       24         26         71

China      39       14         14         67

Russia      8        13         15         36

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Towson    8          1         2          11

Kevin, I'm not sure how to impress upon just how successful that is. And only two of the Free Republic of Towson's three entrants in this year's Summer Games have even completed their competition schedule. Carmelo Anthony is also a good candidate for gold, which would boost the Free Republic's tally even further.

For the sake of perspective, please consider:

-- Only five nations have accumulated more golds than Towson;

-- Only 11 nations have totaled more overall medals; 58 have totaled fewer;

-- Among those trailing Towson: Canada, Mexico, Spain, Poland, Cuba, Kenya, New Zealand, Brazil, Switzerland, Jamaica, Norway, Ethiopia, Sweden, Finland, Turkey, Greeze.

In one of my favorite Olympic feature, Chuck Culpepper is tracking the medal tally according to population for the Los Angeles Times, essentially determing the top country per capita. This drastically changes the standings. Chuck isn't factoring in the Free Republic of Towson, but if they did, rest assured, Towson would be in first place by a landslide.