To Kevin, et al.,

Subject: Shamelessly emptying the camera 

From yesterday's Speedo gathering:

"Amanda Beard, Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte, wearing the most clothes you'll ever see on these three swimmers. Hey Amanda, look this way! I have a camera and as a vegetarian, I'm in favor of your Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur campaign."

"Hey Stephanie Rice, I don't think the Australian press has enough to write about. How about I take off my shirt and put my arm around you? Did I mention that I won eight more gold medals than your old boyfriend Eamon Sullivan?"

"Just like this. Awww yeah. Can I interest you in a Vegemite sandwich after this?"

"Ryan, you should totally join us in Baltimore. Haven't you seen The Wire? You could be like our Herc. Katie is Kima, of course, and I'm either Avon or Stringer. I haven't decided. I guess that would make Bob Bowman like Prop Joe. He sees all the angles."

"My name is Abe Lincoln. And I have absolutely no idea why there's a statue of me in a Chinese park, not far from the Speedo party. But I do know this, if I had a Speedo LZR suit during my term, the world be a better place today."