Since we can all agree that there are some things that are not to be trifled with, let's just stipulate that God, country, family, good health, love, charity and Tina Fey's Sarah Palin imitation are already on everybody's primary Thanksgiving list. Here's a top 10 list of the lesser things for which I am thankful today:
10. Thanksgiving football: Never mind that you have to watch the awful Detroit Lions. If it wasn't for NFL football on Thanksgiving, you'd be watching some Mr. Magoo animated special about the Mayflower right now.
9. More Thanksgiving football: There actually is a third game tonight -- Donovan McNabb has a chance to get benched twice in five days when he faces the Arizona Cardinals -- though you have to have the NFL Network to watch it.
8. Easy Cheese: Don't laugh. I believe that the act of putting cheese into an aerosol can is, perhaps, the greatest single example of American ingenuity other than the moon landing.
7. Worldwide franchising: I ate at McDonald's in London, Paris and St. Petersburg during my recent vacation. It was just a bonus that there was a 7-11 store in the Copenhagen Airport.
6. Google Earth: You can go on the internet and see the roof of your house from anywhere on the planet. Dr. Pangloss was right. This is truly the best of all possible worlds.
5. Strato-matic Baseball: Can't tell you how many dateless weekends that game got me through when I was in high school and college.
4. Dancing With the Stars: I don't care for the show myself, but it keeps a lot of people who shouldn't be driving off the roads at night.
3. Joe Flacco and Mark Teixeira: If it wasn't for them, The Schmuck Stops Here would be a very dull blog right now (if it isn't already).
2. The Atkins Diet: Hamburger buns are overrated anyway. Pass the bacon.
1. The blogosphere: Can't believe I actually get paid to do this.
Feel free to chime in with a few of your own.