Schmuck vs. Food: The search continues
There is a small but faithful segment of the Schmuck Stops Here readership that, like me, is always looking for the next great ballpark taste sensation. And, when you're talking unusual concession food, the conversation is eventually going to find it's way to the West Michigan Whitecaps.
If you recall, I called your attention last year to the infamous "Fifth Third Burger" that was unveiled by the Whitecaps. It included 1.67 pounds of hamburger (or five thirds of a pound), nearly a cup of chili, five slices of American Cheese, salsa and Fritos on an eight-inch sesame seed bun.
Well, the giant burger -- which can be quartered with a pizza slicer to serve four -- got so much national attention that the Whitecaps have come back with some new gastronomical monstrosities this season.
My favorite is the "Declaration of Indigestion," a half-pound hot dog on a foot-long sub roll that is covered with the ingredients of a full-size Philly cheesesteak. I'm not a big hot dog guy, but I may have to make an exception if I'm passing through Grand Rapids, which could be any day now.






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Comments
As it turns out I am going to be in Grand Rapids May 7th through 9th. The Whitecaps are home that weekend. I may try to go to a game. Not for the game but rather the sandwich!!
Posted by: Tim | April 15, 2010 8:00 AM
YES!!!! An entry for us Foodies! Thanks Pete. I'm not big on the dogs either but philly cheese steaks I love!
Posted by: dave | April 15, 2010 8:24 AM
Better you than me.
I'm on a retrictive diet and the hardest element isn't calories, fat, fiber*, or carbs. It's sodium.
Just putting mustard on that bad boy would probably be close to half of my daily allowance.
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* - obviously, fiber isn't being restricted but must be maintained to a minimum level.
Posted by: waspman | April 15, 2010 8:55 AM
I wouldn't be as concerned with when you are going to be passing through Grand Rapids as I would be with Grand Rapids food passing through me in a grandly and rapidly. Good luck with that, man.
"G" is for "gastrointestinal distress"
Posted by: Big Daddy (Not Lipscomb) | April 15, 2010 9:01 AM
Pete, I have a bone--or should I say, dog--to pick with you. You say that you're not a dog guy, yet your caricature shows you clutching a hot dog as if it were a $100 bill.
What kind of role model are you? Think of the children, Pete, who want to grow to be just like you. Next thing you know, you'll be professing your love for tofu burgers and rice cakes. It's just not right.
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Pete's reply: My bad, Chris. I never told Mike Ricigliano that I don't care much for regular hot dogs, so he just assumed that I eat about four a day at the ballpark, which was probably logical. I'll have one in a pinch, but very seldom. I do, however, have a thing for the chili-cheese dogs at a junk food chain called Der Wienerschnitzel on the West Coast. Mmmmm.
Posted by: Chris Joseph | April 15, 2010 9:03 AM
[ your number here ] days remaining
Posted by: Trembley Watch | April 15, 2010 9:36 AM
Pete:
Schmuck vs. Food really isn't a very fair fight, is it?
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Pete's reply: You make a good point. Gotta admit.
Posted by: Kenny from Pikesville | April 15, 2010 9:39 AM
Poor food never saw it coming ...
Posted by: Kenny from Pikesville | April 15, 2010 9:40 AM
Well,
I think we needed a respite from talking about the Orioles. Let's all enjoy our day off until tomorrow.
Posted by: Charles | April 15, 2010 10:18 AM
Peter:
Any thoughts on Bergy and why he seems to not be the same pitcher since his freak injury over winter break?
Kenny from Pikesville
http://oriolesshallreturn.blogspot.com/
Posted by: Kenny from Pikesville | April 15, 2010 10:47 AM
Pete,
ESPN is publishing an interview with Peter Angelos in which he and Bud Selig claim Baltimore needs a new ballpark. PA cites the need for a dome, a more modern feel to attract younger fans, and more parking revenue for the O's while the Commish is afraid of public safety and terrorism, even references The Sum of All Fears w/Ben Affleck. Why hasn't any Baltimore media picked this story up???
Posted by: Josh | April 15, 2010 11:19 AM
I lived in Grand Rapids for three years and had season tickets to the Whitecaps. This is one of the best-run organizations in all of baseball. Beautiful ballpark...creative (read: NOT heart-healthy) food selections. We enjoyed the grilled burgers and delicious ice cream. Couldn't go for the exotic (they had deep-fried Oreo cookies before anyone else) selections, though.
Posted by: Marty Nicholson | April 15, 2010 11:21 AM
Josh
Because the Sun sucks Chen ming wang thats why
Posted by: Anonymous | April 15, 2010 11:35 AM
Come on, Josh. Did you even read the article on ESPN? It wasn't an interview. It was a commentary by Jim Caple, and it was obviously fiction. It was an imaginary story from the future to prove a point. The writer even started that section by saying "So some day, and probably in the not-too-distant future, we will read this story:....". The story even mentioned the start of the 2012 season in the PAST TENSE.
What ever happened to reading comprehension? Thanks for making me break my ESPN.com boycott and go look for this article.
Posted by: Roy | April 15, 2010 11:39 AM
I think I see what's going on here. Schmuck is encouraging us to drown our respective sorrows in cured meats. Well I for one will have none of this.
Any real Orioles fan knows the way to survive another disgusting season is by adopting a crippling addiction to painkillers.
Posted by: Groundskeeper | April 15, 2010 11:56 AM
Wasn't that burger featured on Man v. Food this year? If it's the one I'm thinking of, Adam Richman had a hard time finishing it off before the end of the game. I think I'd give that a try before the new hot dog. I love Philly cheesesteaks, but in my book, there's only one way to eat a hot dog- with chili and cheese!
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Pete's reply: If it wasn't, it should have been. I agree on the chili cheese dog. That's my favorite.
Posted by: Bruce | April 15, 2010 12:46 PM
The crime at OPACY is that you can't get a quality really kosher pastrami on rye.
I'm still stopping at the Knish Shoppe on my way to the park. Get a cold Dr. Brown's for the side (which I can't bring in as it's in can form).
Thank God Monsieur Angelos hasn't banned outside food ... yet. It still amazes me that he allows it (one of the points Brady Anderson made in his Baltimore Sun diatribe as to why Angelos is "one of the best owners" in baseball). I'll give Angelos that much ...
Posted by: Kenny from Pikesville | April 15, 2010 2:08 PM
This goes against eceything I am trying to accomplish. You will be hearing from from the White House soon. No bail-out for you.
Posted by: Michelle Obama | April 15, 2010 3:08 PM
had a 1/2 lb burger in Breckenridge CO several types of cheeses, bacon, onions, pickles, bacon and a foot long hotdog on top.
Yes, a foot long on a burger. And Yes, it was good.
My heart just tightened. oof...
Posted by: SHAMROCK | April 16, 2010 12:16 AM