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November 27, 2009

Tiger: Hold the speculation

Obviously, it's good to hear from various sources that Tiger Woods was not seriously hurt in an early morning car accident near his Orlando-area home, but that won't keep the supermarket tabloids from trying to turn it into some kind of huge family drama.

There's going to be all sorts of speculation about why he was leaving his home in the wee hours of the morning and how he could have hit a fire hydrant and a tree on his way out of the neighborhood. The police have ruled out alcohol as a possible factor in the accident, which has got to be a relief for his image people, but somebody is going to fill the information vacuum, and who knows where this story is going to go.

My advice: Let the facts come out and believe only the ones that come from reputable sources, and pray -- because he's a fellow human being, not because he's a famous golfer -- that he's okay and everything is all right at home.

Posted by Peter Schmuck at 3:55 PM | | Comments (31)
        

Comments

Forget the time of day...I'm still curious as to how you build up enough speed coming out of your driveway to "seriously" injure yourself by hitting a hydrant and tree.

It was reported he was going under 33mph since the air bags didn't deploy, so he obviously wasn't wearing a seatbelt.

That would explain reported facial injuries...likely cuts from glass or a face plant on the steering wheel.

Perhaps an emergency he was on his way out for...but careless driving either way.

Get real. He was drunk as certainly as I am overweight. Remember, Florida is the proud state that sentenced Donte Stallworth to 30 DAYS in jail for KILLING a pedestrian while Stallworth was drunk driving.

There are different rules for the different socioeconomic strata in this country in case you didn't notice.

Florida will gladly cover this up just like Arizona covered up Kurt Busch's DWI

Get real. He was drunk as certainly as I am overweight. Remember, Florida is the proud state that sentenced Donte Stallworth to 30 DAYS in jail for KILLING a pedestrian while Stallworth was drunk driving.

There are different rules for the different socioeconomic strata in this country in case you didn't notice.

Florida will gladly cover this up just like Arizona covered up Kurt Busch's DWI

Very humorous advice "Let the facts come out and believe only the ones that come from reputable sources". In today's day and age, outside of sports and fashion, there is NO such thing as a reputable source unless you were fortunate (unfortunate) enough to have witnessed the incident first hand! Believe half of what you see and even less of what you hear! Personally, I think it was an alien abduction gone awry!

If alchohol wasn't involved, the only reason Tiger was leaving his house at 2:25 am is the company of a beautiful lady not named Mrs. Woods. Happy Thanksgiving!

It has been disclosed he was sneaking out to visit his girlfriend and then they were going to Sports Authority for the 5AM Black Friday opening to buy a new pitching wedge.

get real.

he was OBVIOUSLY DRUNK.

we should demand justice.

what a bunch of bullsh_t

There could be many rational explanations for the accident...He could have dropped hot coffee in his lap...or maybe there was a bee in the car...or maybe he let the same dog drive that hit the fire hydrant in the commercial.

I know one thing for sure, if I drove out of my driveway through my neighbor's yard and over a fire hydrant at 2:25 AM my wife would have spent the rest of the morning pouring out all of my beer.

I agree with Rick on this one. "Letting the facts come out" is a hopelessly naive outlook, Peter.

When you're talking about professional athletes and celebrities who make more money in a day that a normal person sees in a lifetime (or powerful politicians, for that matter), both the media and the legal system are unconscionably open to manipulation.

The celebrity's publicist will appeal to our sense of fairness by saying "wait for the facts to come out," when what they really mean is "wait until we have our story straight" or "wait until the ADD media moves on to some other story." Why should we have to wait for the facts? Shouldn't the publicist, or better yet Tiger himself, be able to honestly explain the situation right now? What exactly are they waiting for?

Fair or not, regular citizens know that there are a different set of rules for the rich and powerful, and the version of "the facts" that we will hear is the version they have manipulated for their own purposes.

Given the time, the nature of the accident (hitting two separate stationary objects well off the road; no reported weather, mechanical or other contributing issues), and the fact that Tiger doesn't appear to have any coordination issues, the situation is highly suspicious. As well, anyone who follows golf has seen a severe and obvious change in Tiger's personality over the last year or so, for the worse. At this point, I think it's fair to ask what is up with Tiger?

Maybe he just wanted to go for a drive. Maybe early morning pitch-n-put. Maybe he needed some hemoroid cream. Ok, here is a good one, maybe he just couldn't sleep and thought he'd drive around a little but dozed off down the driveway. Call the FBI.

Pete, why would the tabloids have the slightest bit of interest in this story? I mean, just because Madonna was riding shotgun while nursing a three-headed alien baby (who was her and Tiger's love child, by the way), and Elvis and Michael Jackson were in the back seat doing God knows what, and the accident was actually caused when Tiger had to swerve to avoid htting Big Foot (who sired Tiger during a night of unbridled passion with Hillary Clinton)doesn't mean this should be on the front page of the National Enquirer--or the Baltimore Sun, for that matter.

Frankly, Pete, I'm disappointed in your lack of journalistic integrity.

I hope that fire hydrant and tree takes him for everything he's got and he gets kicked off the PGA tour ala Happy Gilmore.

btw... Stallworth was barely over the limit and unfortunately that guy ran out in front of him.

I think the man just wanted some 4th meal.

But, if I made his kind of money, I would open a 4th Meal in my basement and bring back the Chilito.

Pete, Are you kidding me? Why would the Sun run the headline, A Jones, White Sox Agree to 1-Year Deal? I thought for a sec it was Adam Jones.
Don't ever do that again.

My father, who was hardly a celebrity, was drunk one night when he caused an accident. With a phone call to his boss, and presumably one from there to a politician, he was all of a sudden quite sober. Would Tiger be shown such consideration. Well Duh!

Is tigerwoods.com a reputable source for this story? I'm sure they'll be on the level.

wow, look at all of the perfect angels just waiting to fling stuff at a celebrity. You guys are so perfect and your life is not even under a microscope! Oh, I wish I could be as perfect as these commentors. I mean if i was, I obviously wouldn't be so concerned with what a married guy is doing.

Who really cares. I don't give a sh!t of which one of you is stepping out while calling out another person.

Cast the first stone people and you're not even living close to any microscope. You all sound like a$$holes.

Almost sounds like he passed out at the wheel. If alcohol indeed wasn't a factor, perhaps he has a hidden medical condition?

For a brief moment I thought this post was going to be about Miguel Cabrera, rather than a (admittedly) more significant Tiger who doesn't play baseball. I suppose it should come as no surprise that, where the O's could be concerned, the internet yielded yet another disappointment.

Who was caddying? He'd need at least a hummer for the hydrant.

What I heard was him and his wife were having a domestic event because he was out late with his GF.She bashed his back window in with a golf club.

Wouldn't surprise me if he uses the old Ambein sleepwalking excuse.

John, I think you hit it right on the head. He was having a late night out with his GF and got caught by his wife and she bashed in the window of his car. And I am sure he was drinking!

lucky for him his wife put in a lot of practice time with the 'trouble club'. think she was yelling 'fore' after she swung? maybe he'll put it in the trophy case. maybe not. she might need it again.
I might go so far as to suggest a speed limit sign, and an occasional speed trap
for that driveway. sounds dangerous.

If it so happens this situation was the result of a fight between Mr. and Mrs. Woods would it not be appropriate for President Obama to have them both over to his place for a beer?

Tiger just sliced his move outta the driveway, hit a water hazard and ended up behind a tree for a triple bogey. The biggest surprise is that he did it on his home course.

Yeah people, don't jump to conclusions about a sordid affair, etc. Don't jump to conclusions about a little burglary at the Watergate either; or don't jump to conclusions about John Edwards love child. Shall I continue?

None of it matters anyway because his wife has her meal ticket and she will never leave because how on earth would she survive without the status?

Something tells me a swedish supermodel would be able to land another rich guy. Admittedly, not Tiger Woods rich but still rich all the same.

I think she should go all Anna Benson on him and sleep with Mickelson, Singh, Garcia and the rest... I bet that would mess up his tough Sunday facade.

Peter, a few questions for you:

1) how long should the public hold off on speculating- given that Tiger and his associates have had many opportunities to come out and honestly address events? News agencies are now reporting that Tiger has cancelled a scheduled meeting with police investigators for a third straight day. Is everyone- the police, the public, the media, marketing sponsors, etc- expected to just wait until Tiger sees fit to speak, or else risk being damned for speculating or rushing to judgment?

2) Will you write a follow-up article or blog posting on this once you have deemed enough "facts" to come out? If not, wouldn't you be falling victim to Tiger's stall strategy? Isn't this exactly what his handlers are expecting by deliberately withholding information about events? At what point does a deliberate strategy to avoid or mislead equate to waiving benefit of the doubt?

Canceling 3 police interviews and making a public statement that he "is not perfect".........seems very suspiscious. And "It was my fault"............what does this even mean.???

..............................................................................................
Pete's reply: I don't know what that means. If he was alone in the car, the only way it wouldn't have been his fault is if the hydrant jumped out in front of him.

This country needs some official royalty to laugh at. This athlete/actor stuff is getting old and ordinary.
Did his courageous wife try to get him out of the car with the golf club before or after the car had made it's treacherous run down the speedway?

So Tiger drove one into the trees and now he has spent four days trying to improve his lie...

I'm going to speculate that the next we'll see of Tiger is after the cuts and scratches on his face have had time to heal, so there is no remaining evidence of a possible domestic squabble.

And I speculate that the courageous wife is going to get a diamond the size of a golf ball any day now.

(P.S. I'm an unreliable source, along the lines of...well...tigerwoods.com for example.)

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About Peter Schmuck
Peter Schmuck wants you to know that, contrary to popular belief, he is more than just a bon vivant, raconteur and collector of blousy flowered shirts. He is a semi-respected journalist who has covered virtually every sport -- except luge, of course – and tackled issues that transcend the mere games people play. If that isn’t enough to qualify him to provide witty, wide-ranging commentary on the sports world ... and the rest of the world, for that matter ... he is an avid reader of history, biography and the classics, as well as a charming blowhard who pops off on both sports and politics on WBAL Radio. That means you can expect a little of everything in The Schmuck Stops Here, but the major focus will be keeping you up to the minute on Baltimore’s major sports teams and themes, whether it’s throwing up the Orioles lineup the minute it’s announced or updating you on the latest sprained ankle in Owings Mills. Oh, and by the way, that’s Mr. Schmuck to you.

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