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August 28, 2009

News item: I crack myself up

This is just a shameless plug for the column I just wrote for the Saturday print edition. If you want to check it out here, I weigh in on a variety of subjects, including Michael Vick, Bart Scott, Brett Favre, Eagles fans (yes, you), Danica Patrick and the rumors she will be part of a nude photo spread in ESPN The Magazine, as well as a few other random subjects.

It felt funny when I wrote it, but reading your own humor is like listening to yourself sing in the shower -- you may think you sound like Pavarotti, but there's a much better chance that you just look like him.

Let me know what you think.

Posted by Peter Schmuck at 6:45 PM | | Comments (16)
Categories: Schmuck being Schmuck
        

Comments

It is better to be a subscriber to ESPN The Magazine, than to run with the bulls to the nearest newstand (do we have those anymore in downtown Baltimore?).

christian, don't try to be like anonymous. it's just annoying

Now, if the Orioles were smart, they'd get a jump on the competition and hire the WFAN blowhard Mike Francessa as GM. The other day he laid out the 'Magic Wand Rebuild' theory for the Mets:
~Go after a big time power hitting first baseman(none on the FA market, or trade). No problem.
~Sign a few pitchers,most notably trade for Halladay
Also, turn your 11mm dollar mistake(Perez) into a 15-20 game winner. No problem.
~Sign a power hitting left fielder(None on the market),
or maybe trade for one.
No problem.

So I wanted to call the nutjob, and ask him how the Mets might go about this , given the fact that in the same broadcast session, he admitted that if the Mets had any viable prospects, they'd be up and playing already.
So I wanted to call him and say, don't you think there are 10 teams, the Orioles included, who could offer the Jays a better package than the Mets?

Nothing about removing the hack Minaya from the mix.Nothing about rebuilding the barren farm system, developing players that may play for you or you can trade.
Nothing about how the new ballpark has reduced David Wright to a doubles hitter.

After listening to him blab on, I gotta wonder why the O's and AM might be wasting their time doing it this way. Why take so much time when the answers are flying around on te NY airwaves, and all this expertise comes for free.

Now if anybody on the O's knows less about winning than berken, kindly have that player step forward..I'd like to see him escape this inning with 1 run damage.

nice job. There has to be a reason the O's are showing patience with him. Someone must like his stuff. I mean signing someone off the scrap heap, and I use that term with the highest respect, and sending him down was always an option.
Any noise on him Pete?

jim 66,
why would you rag on a rookie like that, Are you serious? please go look up the stats of maddux glavin and many others during their rookie season.
i really get tired of folks ripping some of these rookies like weiters and berken etc.
AM knows what he is doing.

l
jim looks like that "loser" berken has gotten through 5 relatively well. I guess someone went to him in between innings and told him he knows nothing about winning so man up and get some people out for a change.....or maybe he went in the dugout in between innings and saw your comment on this blog and it motivated him....now you can take credit when he wins 15 games next year

Hey Anonymous, is that you?

Perhaps? Anonymous has given himself a name?

Who is that masked man in CF.....and behind the plate?

man, what is wrong with you people? If a guy has a few wins and 10 losses and you can't make a joke about him not knowing how to win, which was a point Pete made just last night, what the hell has the blog come to? The guy has 10 or 11 losses, and I was being complimentary when I said someone on the O's must see something in him. And if you can get out of a first and second-no outs situation with 1 run being scored, that's a good thing.
Get a grip. Try a little humour once in a while. It might help you get you thru a 100 loss season...

chrissy, now if i were to post fire trembley 56 times a day...
See, if i were gonna rank on berken, i could say stuff like, wow, 97 pitches to get thru 5 innings, he'll kill the bullpen. But I didn't. The guy has pitched into some tough luck, but at times hasn't helped himself all that much.
The only issue I have with this rebuild is the timing. I wish it had started 5 years earlier.

I think the O's might go fishing for Reyes who may have worn out his welcome. Would pobably cost Reimold and one of the Top 3 pitching prospects but none are a sure thing and then you'd have your shortstop and that lineup would be legit.

I always enjoy the news items and I did indeed laugh as well.

I still love that Jerry Jones can move the board for U2, but gets so indignant about doing it for the NFL.

I didn't know you were a wrestling fan. That was a news item in itself. When you're able bodied again you should go check out fellow blogger Kevin when he refs for MCW.

.............................................................................................
Pete's reply: I definitely will do that. Kevin and I talk about that stuff a lot and he has invited me to attend some events. Maybe I can jump into the ring and hit him with my crutch.

Pete, Santa Claus? Eagles' fans? Jeez, that's the best you can do, you drag up some incident from the sixties? Tiresome. A "Take my wife, please" moment. Does the word hackneyed sound familiar? Even Uncle Milty wouldn't have stretched this far to get a laugh.

...............................................................................................
Pete's reply: If I were an Eagles fan, I would want everybody to remember that moment. Funny as hell. The guy deserved to get booed. Of course, if I were an Eagles fan, I'd have a sense of humor, which would probably get me kicked out of Philadelphia.

Don't quit your day job! (just kiddin' Pete, please don't slam me)

Pete, Can you confirm or deny reports that you are appearing in a nude spread in Baltimore Magazine along with Tom Davis and Fred Manfra called "The Beefy Boys of Baltimore Baseball Broadcasting'? Don't forget to list your turn-ons, turn-offs, and your favorite color.

............................................................................................
Pete's reply: I hate it when a relatively innocent situation where I was in the broadcast booth with Fred Manfra and Tom Davis and we were all naked gets blown so out of proportion.

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About Peter Schmuck
Peter Schmuck wants you to know that, contrary to popular belief, he is more than just a bon vivant, raconteur and collector of blousy flowered shirts. He is a semi-respected journalist who has covered virtually every sport -- except luge, of course – and tackled issues that transcend the mere games people play. If that isn’t enough to qualify him to provide witty, wide-ranging commentary on the sports world ... and the rest of the world, for that matter ... he is an avid reader of history, biography and the classics, as well as a charming blowhard who pops off on both sports and politics on WBAL Radio. That means you can expect a little of everything in The Schmuck Stops Here, but the major focus will be keeping you up to the minute on Baltimore’s major sports teams and themes, whether it’s throwing up the Orioles lineup the minute it’s announced or updating you on the latest sprained ankle in Owings Mills. Oh, and by the way, that’s Mr. Schmuck to you.

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