Turtle soup
The expression "No good deed ever goes unpunished" was never more true for me than it was earlier this morning on my way to the ballpark. I was headed down Atlantic Boulevard when I had to swerve to miss a large box turtle trying to cross the six-lane road. Even on Sunday morning, Atlantic is a heavily traveled street and there was no way the turtle was going to get over the curb, so I made a U-turn and went back to move it into the adjacent open field.
Don't know why I did it. Guess I was just looking for a little Karma. Maybe someday a giant turtle will show up just in time to bail me out of a major scrape. But that's not where I'm going with this story.
I put on the emergency flashers and sprinted across the median, or what passes for sprinting when you look like me, then picked up the turtle and started to carry it off the road.
If you're a turtle expert, you know what happened next. The little fellow apparently had about five ice teas before he hit the road and his special turtle defense mechanism kicked in.
So, why did the turtle cross the road?
To pee all over my nice, newly dry-cleaned Aloha shirt.
Accuracy in blog media dept: Just want to point out that the picture above is not the actual turtle involved in this account. I'm not even sure it's the same turtle species. If you'd like to get independent confirmation of this anecdote, here's Roch Kubatko's take on incident.
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Comments
Pete-
The turtle has a message - ditch the Hawaiian shirts. How about the "Nehru look" for a chance?
Posted by: patrick lynch | February 22, 2009 9:18 AM
Fear the Turtle?
Posted by: BigBill | February 22, 2009 9:26 AM
When I read the title of this entry I totally thought this was going to be about Maryland's win over Carolina yesterday.
Posted by: paul | February 22, 2009 9:29 AM
Heck of a way to start the morning, Peter! Gives a new meaning to "Fear the Turtle". Hats off for stopping to save the little guy.
Posted by: Oriole Ed | February 22, 2009 9:36 AM
Could it have been a gopher tortise?
http://www.gophertortoisecouncil.org/about.php
If it was best get rid of your confession since:
"A permit is always required to possess, study, or relocate gopher tortoises".
Posted by: Jeff V. | February 22, 2009 9:38 AM
Pete,
So really it was not that big a deal as I am sure you have plenty of the Aloha shirts at the ready. So exactly how many do you have? Inquiring minds want to know (and let me guess, you had a spare one in the trunk of the car anyway!). And in all seriousness, great gesture on your part.
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Pete's reply: I brought 10 silk shirts with me to spring training. I have a few more at home, but not that many.
Posted by: JW | February 22, 2009 11:19 AM
Jeff (and Pete)
Further down the page Jeff links to, it says:
-Road Mortality. Many tortoises are killed each year by automobiles. Road mortality will undoubtedly increase as more and more highways dissect the landscape. Furthermore, roads can act as barriers to tortoise dispersal, effectively isolating populations. A possible solution to this problem is the construction of underpasses to allow tortoises and other wildlife to pass safely beneath roads. If you encounter a tortoise trying to cross the road, it is best to simply carry the tortoise across the road (beware of traffic!).
You did the right thing, Pete, though your shirt is worse for wear.
"k" is for keep FL's roads turtle-free
Posted by: threedaysrest | February 22, 2009 11:21 AM
Factoid: Gopher tortoises aren't native to MD. They live mostly in Fl, GA, AL, and SC. I agree with Peter that it was probably a box turtle.
Go Terps!
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Pete's reply: The incident happened in Florida, but I think it was a box turtle.
Posted by: jwb | February 22, 2009 11:21 AM
Peter,
You could be the reason the Terps upset UNC !!! Thanks for taking the bullet
JW
Posted by: cereal blogger | February 22, 2009 11:23 AM
I hope you carried it in the direction it was going, Peter. Turtles tend to turn around and cross the road again if you take them back to the beginning.
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Pete's reply: Yes I did. Thanks.
Posted by: Andrew | February 22, 2009 11:45 AM
Is the expression "Nice guys get peed on"? Wonderful story. You are O K Pete. Of course, you could have gotten killed, you schmuck.
Posted by: NORM | February 22, 2009 12:21 PM
Same thing happened to Roy Williams yesterday. Sort of.
Posted by: Smitty | February 22, 2009 1:01 PM
Best blog entry of this spring thus far, Peter.
Posted by: Attila the Hon | February 22, 2009 2:52 PM
Thanks for saving the turtle. My wife and I have owned a yellow bellied slider for 10 years so she appreciates it. Our turtle pees on us every time we pick him up without fail so it's not necessarily an indictment on your fashion sense...but its clearly not an endorsement either.
Funny story regardless...
Posted by: JC in LA | February 22, 2009 3:41 PM
Well I, for one, applaud you for your gift of life in saving the little guy (or gal). Seriously. Not many folks would have done such a wonderful thing.
Perhaps all your fans will pitch in and buy you a new Aloha shirt for your next birthday. Assuming, of course, that (1) you have enough fans to bring in the two bucks neccessary for the shirt, and (2) they still make them (the shirts, not the fans).
Posted by: Fang Guy | February 22, 2009 4:08 PM
So if you see another turtle tomorrow morning trying to cross, will you come to the rescue once again or keep on rollin?
That was a senseless act of kindness you performed.
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Pete's reply: I will definitely do it again, but I've been told the proper way to pick up a turtle is head-straight-up, so when it shoots, it doesn't hit you.
Posted by: Bill In Elkton | February 22, 2009 5:01 PM
I think I saw Mr. Turtle on My Name is Earl
Posted by: mike from OC | February 22, 2009 6:32 PM
Peter:
Nicely done. I've done the same thing myself and am encouraged you rescued the poor creature!
Posted by: Craig | February 22, 2009 6:45 PM
My friend already jailbroke my iphone but he didn't tell me how to download custom apps. Can anyone tell me how to do so?
________________
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Posted by: flona | October 15, 2009 5:39 AM