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Can a fat guy learn to swim the butterfly? Part 2.

Here is the follow up to yesterday's post that featured me attempting to learn how to swim the butterfly with the help of the fine folks from ChloriNation. If you missed the first installment and can stomach the idea of me wearing a Speedo, you can check it out here. What I didn't remember until after I posted this was that my mom was actually an accomplished swimmer back in Montana, and her specialty was the 50 meter fly. So clearly there is talent in my genes. All I need is the dedication, and a change in diet that would help me drop about 75 pounds. After giving it some thought, I decided I kind of enjoy putting my body through various states of pain and shame for the sake of reader entertainment as well as journalism. Earlier this week, I caddied for LPGA player Leta Lindley during the Monday ProAm at Bulle Rock, and had a lot of fun, mostly because Leta and her husband Matt were such good people. While I doubt the Ravens would be open to the idea of letting me get tackled by Ray Lewis or Bart Scott -- my wife might object to this as well -- I'm open to ideas. Got something you'd like to see me try next? Fairly certain I won't be killed? Make a suggestion below. In the meantime, watch this video and see what Katie Hoff's coach, Paul Yetter, has to say about how he would approach the enviable task of coaching me.

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Maybe a pit crew member on one of the lesser racing circuts?

Or like one of the infamous Seinfeld episodes, a ball boy in tennis?

Rich

My daughter is a championship baton twirler - she could teach you how to twirl a baton, even a fire baton. Most people don't consider baton twirling a sport - but they have never tried it before.

Give it a whirl!

Hey Kevin,

How about seeing if you can hit a riser from either a University of Maryland softball pitcher or one of the local high school softball studs? You can't possibly get hurt doing that....can you?

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About the blogger
Kevin Van Valkenburg is a Montana native who has worked for The Baltimore Sun since 2000. He played football in college, albeit poorly and briefly. Since joining the Sun, he has covered everything from college football to figure skating to swimming in Australia. He likes cold beer, songs about broken hearts, the television show The Wire, hitting a 2-iron off the tee, and literature that keeps you up late at night. In 2005, a piece he wrote for the Sun was anthologized in the Best American Sports Writing series. He and his wife, Jen, live in Hampden and consider Natty Bohs, tater tots and turkey burgers from the Golden West to be the perfect meal.

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