My pick would be the Steelers — there are worse things than wearing some retro Lambert and Swann jerseys.

Yankees would be my second choice — I’d rather see them win than become some MassHole.

The third through 627th picks: eternal damnation over and over.

Nope, ... will never root for Duke (or the Sawx). I'd like to drive Bobby Hurley’s head through Christian Laetner’s skull, though.

Cheers.

No question: Steelers

I'd sooner give away my children to cannibals than root for either dook or the MFYs.

Steelers. I recently visited there....not a bad place. Plus -- Baltimoreans can identify with Pittsburgh....tough defense, blue collar...etc. In a strange way, it's "our kind of town".

Yankees -- someone has to be second on this list.

I'll burn to a crisp before i ever support Duke.

I hate Duke. I will never root for Duke. Is throwing Duke into hell an option? Duke is the real "evil empire" -- not the Yankees.

I never thought I would say this, but Duke, Steelers, Yankees, hell would be my order. Lesser of evils is my criteria. Here is my reasoning.

Other than to keep my a$$ from burning forever, I can't imagine any reason to ever root for the Yankees, so that's why they go right above hell for me. Call me a wimp, but forever is a long time. Steelers--I did admire them when they had Bradshaw, Swann and Harris and were playing the Raiders (how could anyone possibly root for the Raiders); but, rooting for them now, when they are a division rival, would be right above the Yankees as hell on earth. Finally, much as Duke is an anathema, they run a clean program, graduate their kids and are a top notch school. I confess that I rooted for them against UNLV (the Raiders of college basketball at the time), felt sympathy for the players who were screwed in the lax scandal, and, with some exceptions, I tend to pull for ACC teams when the Terps are out of the tourney (although I was of course pulling for VCU, Winthrop and other recent Dukie tournament foes). I'd even buy a pet ferret and name him Coach K.

I would have to ask if I'm still going to hell after the 20 years. If the answer is yes, might as well get a head start now.
If it depends on going back, I'd have to be a Steelers fan.
I could never ever bring myself to root for the Yankees or Duke.

That's my two cents

This is pretty easy.

1. Duke - Having to root for any team led by Coach K is an easy choice. I have never met him personally, but I know people who have, and they say he is one of the nicest men around.

2. Pittsburgh - Before the Ravens came to town, I was a Steelers fan, mainly because I hated the Browns and the Redskins.

3. Hell

4. Yankees - Rooting for the Yankees would be worst than living in hell. Besides, I would probably have to buy my way in as a Yankee fan much the way the team goes out and tries to buy championships year after year.

I choose Hell. Rooting for any of those teams will probably be my ironic punishment therein.

That would be easy for me since I already root for the Steelers and have since the Cowher era began almost 10 years after the Colts left Baltimore (how was I to know the Browns would move to Baltimore and be in the same division as the Steelers.)

The tough part would be denouncing my beloved Terps but Garyland and the Fridge have made that possiblity much easier in recent years.

Those three teams are my Mt. Rushmore of sports hatred. Let me burn.

As a young boy in '54 my generation was blessed with 30 years of Baltimore sports. It could not have been better. Great hi's and some great tough heart wrenching championship low's. Baltimore was known for great sport, great players, great teams. The Colts, the Orioles, the Bulletts, and of course Lefty's Maryland basketball. Then Irrsay moved the our beloved Colts and we've been in sports Pergatory since. Except for 2000 when the football gods gave us our do and allowed us to win the Super Bowl (and what a great feeling it was), '96-'97 when the Orioles had a small blip of success and Maryland's basketball championship it's been a living hell. So if I was in some wonderful place and this angel gave me the choice of returning for 20 healthy years and but I had to root for another team, I'd pass and stay there. Because first of all I'd know I was in heaven and since it's heaven I could still attend Connelly's sports bar. Through all it's up's and down's Baltimore sports has been very good to me. My heart will not let me root for another. Although I do like the Pats.
Hey! Hey! Hey! Who throwing things at me. Drinks for everyone, please.

that's a trick question. because I have to root for teams I hate for 20 years then go back to hell. so technically I'd already be in hell rooting for those teams. so might as well sit in hell with my memories of the ravens superbowl, the Orioles world series, and the maryland championship game.

Eternal damnation or root for the Yankees? What's the difference?

I would have to choose hell because the others are simply not an option ... won't happen. You can also add the Red Sox, Indians, Colts and Browns to that list. The hatred runs deep for all of them.

Football is lame and college baseball is a hoax. So I would put Yankees #1.

I will take Hell. But if I had to choose one, I'll go Steelers. Only because football fans all have a mutual respect for each other and the football cutlure is like none other.
I would rather go to hell 200 times over than become a Duke Blue Devil fan. Yankees aren't far behind.

Yes, these are all very tough!

1. Steelers- Now, I'm one of those 'Skins/O's fans, so even thought my hatred for the Steelers may not be as much as Ravens fans, I still despise them. However, my wife's fam is from Pittsburg and big Steelers fans. Steelers have great fans and city has been through a lot, so out of all these evils, this is the least.

2. Duke- Yes, this makes all of us cringe- no need to elaborate.

3. Yankees- SICK!

Being a displaced New Yorker, rooting for the Yankees is easily number one. The Steelers have always been a class organization, even when they were the league doormats for all those years before Noll and company. Same can be said for Duke ever since Coach K took over, so those two are 2A and 2B.

Dan - thanks for the lift! I came in here this morning expecting to need a shot of something in my coffee just to get the day started, but your question and Kevin OS's response right off the bat got me laughing, so all might be right with the world today after all. Well, not all, but at least I won't have kill the rest of my remaining functioning brain cells with some low-grade hooch.

Aren't the four choices variations on the same thing? Although, truth be told, I don't hate the Steelers. I haven't even gotten around to getting as worked up for them as I used to for the Titans when they were in the same division as the Ravens. So in the rankings, that clearly becomes the least objectionable for me.

After that it's a matter of understanding the options. Am I going to end up in hell anyway, or is that dependant upon the next 20 years? If that is the ultimate destination anyway, may as well get started. While I admire some (few) Yankee fans that I know for their non-fan attributes, having to be around most Yankee fans constantly would be the definition of hell on earth. And while I respect the abilities and accomplishments of Coach K, and love my aunt who graduated from Duke, I can't even contemplate the horror of pulling on a blue shirt to root for a college basketball game.

You wanna know the real reason why a Yankee fan is worse than a Duke fan? A Yankee fan is intolerable all year long. Even if they root for a football team, it is usually the Giants (easy enough to dislike, unless they are playing the undefeated Patriots in the Super Bowl - talk about a Faustian choice) or the Jets (at or near the top of my NFL Hate List). But in general, they are just Yankee fans, 24/7/365. Whereas with Dukies, at least there is football season where they unequivocally suck.

i choose hell.

First choice: Hell
Second choice: Yankees- if you're going to sell your soul you may as well go all the way-- and you still get to hate the Sox.

The other two are non-options. In football and college hoops your division/ conference games are sooo essential. You'd have to ACTIVELY root against the Ravens and Terps. In baseball, it's easier to pile up your wins elsewhere.

Great Question? First I'm a die hard life long STEELER FAN so this question is somwhat easy, yet I've been a die hard Duke Men's Basketball Fan since 1978, hence why it is hard to pick and choose.

YES folks I'm a die hard Orioles fan for life as well. Yankees? Only time I allow my son to use the word hate! I'd go to hell beofre rooting for them.

Of course, this question is tough for everyone from the Maryland area, seems these teams have won alot over the years and continue to do well, so there is some jealous envy there.

The question needs to be asked? If these teams moved to the Maryland area and the Ravens, Terps and O's left, would you support them? We'll see how true you are then to your teams. Which is why the Steeler Fans come out when you have to pick and choose.

Interesting question, though I agree if my long term place would be hell I'd just as soon choose hell and get it started!

If not, I suppose I'd root for the Steelers first, then Duke. People hate Duke because they''ve been so good for so long. I hate them also because I'm a Terps fan. The only thing that comes close in basketball to the Terps beating Duke is the Terps beating Carolina.

The Yankees, well what can I say. I've been a O's fan for 54 years, enough said. There is one team I'm beginning to hate more than the Yankees and it's not the team itself but their obnoxious fans who are so ignorant about the game itself. Glad you didn't put the Red Sox on the list- I might choose hell before them.

Well I love Connelly's Corner Bar but considering I am a Yankees fan I would rather spend the rest of my time in hell then have to deal with whinning orioles fans.... I think its great the team has a plan but the fans cry over the littlest things

Look we can compare this teams and cities all day but at the end it would just be wrong to give myself over to the other side. Eternal damnation it is and I'd be damn proud of it. Since I was a little kid these teams have been ingrained in my head as three of the four teams that stand for evil. Potentially five if you count the Pats with the Soxs, but the Pats are a more recent evil. Besides my Steelers' fan girlfriend would never let me live it down if I got into heaven because I had to acknowledge her team's existence. Feed me to the fire and brimstone.

Given the choices, my picks would go as follows:

1.) Steelers- their fans tend to be good people and not the least bit boorish. I would never say I "hate" the Steelers, I just want them to lose and it's nice that the Ravens have a good rivalry going with them.

2.) Yankees- they come in second b/c the other two choices are worse then this one, even though I despise everything to do with NY and would probably have to relocate to dirty Jersey in order to live in peace rooting for my new team and still making it back here on occasion.

3.) Duke- this team represents all that is evil and wrong in the ACC hoops world. I will never ever pull for this school and its spoiled, overpriveleged student body and teams. Being a Terps fan is in my blood and that's something you just can't change allegiances too in the blink of an eye. I'd just as soon root for the Tar Heels then for the Blue Devils, and that's saying something considering UNC is #2 on Terps fan's most wanted list.

4.) Hell- it's hell and/or eternal damnation. There should be no question about this one....No team is worth sacrificing yourself to spend an eternity in hell for.

#1 is easy since I have been a die Steelers fan since the day the Colts traded Johnny Unitas.
#2 Duke since I'm a UCLA fan Duke doesn't bother me but I don't like them.
#3 Hell since I have been an O's fan since 1963 and have hated the Skankees at least that long.

Great question. My first reaction was Duke, Steelers, hell, Yankees. But after reading terpfan's post, I kind of agree that forever is a long time, and maybe 20 years of rooting for the Yanks is slightly preferable to burning for eternity. Slightly.

I already frequently root for Duke when they're not playing the Terps. Much as I hate the jock sniffing by ESPN and other national media outlets, I have great respect for Coach K and his program. And since strength of schedule is so important in NCAA post season calculations, the better Duke does when they're not playing head-to-head, the better it is for the Terps. So I guess I could become a Duke fan with little trouble.

My dislike for the Steelers is not deep-seated. They're a division rival, so I want them to lose, and strength of schedule is not a big factor in NFL post season calculations, so I want them to lose a lot. But under duress, there's nothing ingrained in my soul that would preclude me ever being a Steeler fan.

Not so the Yankees. Nothing short of an immediate threat of eternal damnation would make me even consider rooting for them, and even then I'm not certain. Like other posters, it would depend on if at the end of the 20 years I had a chance at redemption. If so, I guess 20 years is better than forever. If not, just start roasting me now.

I guess it depends on which 20 years you get back. If it is the free wheeling, fun loving years of 15 to 35, then sign me up for whatever team I gotta support. If it is the phlegm spewing, achy-jointed, memory-failing, Oops I Crapped My Pants years, then stoke the fires, check me into the 9th level and get me my room key.

I choose hell over all three options. My hatred for the Steelers is very deep, as my wife's family is from Pittsburgh. And I have to disagree that the Steelers have nice fans - from what I have seen in my trips to Pittsburgh, Steeler fans have the same sense of "entitlement" that Yankees and Red Sox fans have. Even if they finish 2-14, they are convinced their team is better than anyone else's.
My hatred for the Yankees has been there since my childhood.
If I was forced to choose among the three, I could root for Duke for reasons mentioned earlier - they graduate, good fans, etc. But I would still choose hell before I would voluntarily root for them.

This question was just made for me!

Pittsburgh is my #1 choice. As a Baltimore native living in Pittsburgh, I can tell you that the Steelers and their fans are not bad people. When I left Baltimore the Colts were gone and the Ravens had not yet arrived. I root for the Steelers now. It was nice to have a few Ravens' fan express some begruding repect for Pittsburgh. The feeling is mutual. And it's true, the two cities and their citizens aren't that different.

As an odrained pastor, eternal damnation has to be #4. I know it's a sports bar, but if anybody wants to talk about faith, I'm listening.

I guess that puts the Yankees at #2. Yes they're frequently arrogant, but there is also some great history in that organization. For instance, I really respected Joe Torre.

I am an University of Maryland grad by way of UMBC, so the Duke rivalry means only a little to me, but I'll put Duke at #3. Go Retrievers!

No doubt in my mind.

Easy choice: Steelers! I am not really a Ravens fan having picked up the Redskins when the Colts left town. So rooting for the terrible tissue would not be that bad, would it?

After that, it is hell for me.

I can NEVER root for Duke b-ball under any circumstances.

And I d root for the Russians before the Yankees.

When the Yankees play the Sox in NY, I root for a bomb (tongue in cheek). That way I d get rid of the Sox, the Yanks and 50K Yankee fans.

I think I might root for the Yanks over Bin Laden, but even that is almost a pick-em :) :) :)

I agree with everyone who choose hell and strongly recommend adding the Colts to the list as Scotty2Hotty suggested.

Obviously damnation would be my last choice, just a step below rooting for the Yankees. I also couldn't root for the Steelers, because I'm an Oakland Raiders fan (In my nightmares, I keep seeing Franco Harris catching that ball again and again), so I guess I'd rather root for Duke. I don't really like Duke, but it wins over the other choices.

1. Pittsburgh (blue collar like B'more and great sports town)

2. Duke (tough call -- no love lost for either the roundball or lax teams)

Hell before Yankees.

1. Steelers - Hating the Steelers (unless you live in Cleveland) is as close to a Gay-Dar as science can provide.
2. Duke - I'm indifferent to Duke, which in some ways is a greater sign of disrespect than hatred. Coach K resembles a rodent.
3. Hell
4. Yanky my wankys. - Hate them. Hate them. Hate. Hate. Hate. Jeffery Maier. I am still personally a little chagrined by some of the things that I called that little truant.

Well, if you come up with a list such as that, you should of asked how
much we dislike the Skins as well as the new Colts and the Boston Red
Sox. But since it was down to the three, if I had to chose, I guess I
would go in this order. Ah what the heck, I will add the Skins, Colts
and Sawx.

1. I would cheer for the Steelers first I suppose because at one time I
was a Steelers fan. I became a fan when the Colts left town and my
recreation pee wee football team was named the Steelers.

2. The Skins only because they are in the State of Maryland. Not to
happy with the fact that D.C. steals from Baltimore then try to block
sports teams from coming to the area. Look no further than the
Baltimore Bullets, then Washington Bullets then Washington Wizards. There was a time they came and played 4 games a year at the old Civic
Center, but now they are too good for that. So throw the Nats on the list of
D.C. teams too that I don't care for, but I have t admit that I do follow the
Wiz Kids, sorry.

3. The third, wow, tough one. NO ONE. I would never ever cheer the Puke Blue Devils, the New York Stankees, the Boston Dead Sox or the Indianapolis Bolts. Not a typo, the Bolts, they bolted out of town in
the middle of the night. Why I can't support them.........

Puke is too arrogant and have benefited from some garbage calls
against my beloved Terps. In Maryland, realize you are in Garyland, Fear the Turtle.

Stankees, well no good reason other than being a kid at the old Memorial
Stadium and seeing Reggie Jackson crash into the wall and get hurt, a
year after he left the Orioles. I remember some older kid yell,
"Blank you Reggie....." Since then hated the Stankees. Oh I do have a
reason, that kid that played hooky from school and interfered with the
ball that was called a home run that cost us a trip to the World Series.
Did the umpire know the ref in the NBA that fixed games and cheated?

The Dead Sox, what some ungrateful people. Up until they won the
World Series when they visited Camden Yards, I was tired of hearing,
Noooomaaarrr. Got so bad I turned around and told the guy, "No more or
it will be me and you." Then they tried to say Nomar was greater than
Cal Ripken. Are you kidding, you said this to me in our house, he almost
got knocked out!!!!! Then I had to remind him of the whole 1918
thing and he said, "Oh yeah, Ripken never won a World Series." I simply
replied, "Idiot he won in 1983 and caught the final out." Needless to
say karma prevailed and we beat the Sawx @$$ that night and weekend,
loved it.

The Bolts, what can you say? They allow all these franchises after the
then Colts keep their team names and colors, but the Colts left with
ours. I am glad in one way, did not like the Baltimore Browns as a name
or their colors. I hate Indy so much that when I see a Mayflower moving
van, I hope it crashes or go out of business. Then Peyton Manning with
all his little crap at the line of scrimmage that they include on the
Madden games. Why mess up a great game with his garbage? Anyway, this is RAVENSTOWN and I am glad to say we won a Super Bowl before the Indy Colts did.

There you have it, so stand up B-More and Maryland and represent your
city............

I want to know why the Dallas Cowboys didn't make the list.

For me, that would be like living in my blog...www.iprobablyhateyourteam.blogspot.com.

I'd choose Hell over rooting for any of those team AND not being able to root for Baltimore or Maryland teams. And I say that because rooting for those teams and not being able to cheer for the O's, Ravens and Terps is what I would describe hell as being, thus this seems like a damned if you do, damned if you don't paradox to me!

It's funny because I'm a far bigger Orioles fan than Ravens fan, but I'd still take the Yankees over the Steelers. I'd never even consider Duke. GO TERPS!!!

This is a trick question. Coach K is the dude with the pitchfork.

Duke...all day long.

( Id hate it but Id do it )

Rather slam my nuts in a drawer , than root for NYY.

( Id cry like a woman...but Id get over it in a few hours )

Personally... Id rather be locked in a room for four hours with my ex....than root for the Steelers. ( That kind of pain , shame and embarrassment...you cant just get over that )

Plus...Im going bald so theres no way I could grow a mullet.

No to Steelers

Hey Dan,

You need to toss those Yankee fans out. Use the door for Marty but danger has got to go through the window. I'll pay for the plateglass.

I would choose hell over being a whiny Steelers fan. Don't give me crap for heckling YOUR players in OUR stadium. If you don't like it, head back to Cumberland, you f*#%ing sellouts!
Being a Yankees or Duke fan would be implying that I'm a massive tool and will be bound for hell anyway.
I take hell in a landslide!

First why is rooting the Red sox,any washington d.c. sports team, and the colts not on this list?
Ima UVA grad so i don't really mind duke I hate North Carolina more. Second I hate the red sox so i don't like the yankees but i like them more than the red sox.
I hate the steelers its the best rival or a baltimore sports team on this list to pick from.
But like i said i hate red sox,colts, and any washington d.c. sports team than the other team we have to choose from on this list.

Ok, first things first. I am a long time die-hard Oriole fan. I am also a long time Denver Bronco fan, which i know is not a popular thing in B-more because Elway (rightly so considering what that idiot owner did to the Colts) spurned your beloved Colts. So the Steelers aren't my mortal enemy, the Raiders are. So for me it's Steelers, Hell, Duke, Yankees. I'm also a UNC fan so the dookies are still below hell. But the yankees, c'mon i don't even respect that horrid stadium that some seem to revere. I would love to push the button to blow that sucka up. Good riddance to that hallowed Jeffrey Maier polluted, run down, rattrap.

As a current resident of hell (aka an Orioles/Ravens/Terps fan living in NYC), the transistion into hell proper would be a warm breeze on an already hot day... a bit more of the same, but without the annoying accents and hopefully better diction. and red dress my a**, the devil wears a CK wife beater and gold chains...

steelers first, hell 2nd, duck fuke, and never ever would I stoop to rooting for the yankees

Steelers: No problem. My first runner-up to the Ravens.

Yankees: I would've rooted for them over the Bible-banging Rockies last fall, but that's as far as I go. They're even worse now with Joe Girardi & LaTroy Hawkins.

Hell: That's where the Rockies would think I belong.

Duke. Never. The university was founded with tobacco money. Enough said.

I'm back in town after a week at the beach. Make it a Schlitz please. I'll root for the Steelers, then hell before Yankees or Duke. Toss Notre Dame football into this group too. Seriously, I'd rather have a vasectomy then root for Duke. Drink my own urine than root for Duke.

Get Rob K. a drink on my tab — and it doesn't even have to be his own urine — for making sure Notre Dame football got a mention on this all-hated roster.

And I know hockey is a scant rumor in these parts — but I'd also pick Hell before deciding to root for the Penguins or Flyers.

Rusty - I agree we need to take out the trash. Robert, once we get rid of the Yankees, guess Hoos next? Ever notice how orange is a bad color for sports teams? The only way to make it look good is to put enough red in it and make it an accent to go with black. Then it looks pretty good.

Dan - Kevin (and Rob K. and the others who suggested additional teams) is on to an idea for another day - turn it into a free-for-all listing of teams we just plain don't like. Because there are far more than the initial three listed for today plus the Sawx that are worthy of our contempt, or in some cases beneath it.

Oh the obvious pick for me is the Steelers. I certainly don't like them and want them to lose but I have respect for that organization and the way they do things a lot of the time, plus I have family in Western PA that I am very close wth. I would go to hell before ever rooting for Puke and especially the Yankees.