AP photo (Toronto St. Patrick's Day parade)

The following has nothing to do with science, but here at Science Matters we occassionally like to broaden our focus and in the interest of St. Patrick's Day, and my colleague Chris Emery's previous mention of it, I thought this poem by Strickland Gillilian might be a way to achieve that.

 Besides, my editors here are always giving me the same Elements of Style writing instruction as the character below -- keep it short.

While some people I grew up with talked a bit like the characters below, the Finnegans and the Flannigans I knew weren't like this at all. This may be an Irish slur, I don't know. But it is funny -- once you pick up the dialect.

FINNIGIN TO FLANNIGAN

Superintindint waz Flannigan; Boss av the siction wuz Finnigin;

 Whiniver the kyars got offen th' track

 An' muddled up things t' th' divil an' back

Finnigin writ it to Flannigan, Afther the wrick wuz all on agin:

That is, this Finnigin Repoorted to Flannigan.

Whin Finnigin furst writ to Flannigan, He writ tin pages-did Finnigin.

 An' he tould jist how the smash occurred;

Full minny a tajus, blunderin' wurrd Did Finnigin write to Flannigan

Afther the cars had gone on agin.

That's th' way Finnigin Repoorted to Flannigan.

Now Flannigan knowed more than Finnigin- He'd more idjucation-had Flannigan;

An' it wore 'm clane an' complately out

To tell what Finnigin writ about In his writin' to Muster Flannigan.

 So he writed this here: Masther Finnigin:

 Don't do sich a sin agin; Make 'em brief, Finnigin!"

 Whin Finnigin got this from Flannigan, He blushed rosy rid-did Finnigin;

 An' he said: "I'll gamble a whole month's pa-ay That it'll be minny an' minny a da-ay Befoore Sup'rintindint-that's Flannigan- Gits a whack at that very same sin agin.

 From Finnigin to Flannigan Repoorts won't be so long agin."

Wan da-ay on the siction av Finnigin,

On the road sup'rintinded be Flannigan,

A rail give way on a bit av a curve

An' some kyars went off as they made th' shwerrve.

"there's nobody hurted," sez Finnigin, "But repoorts must be made to Flannigan,"

An' he winked at Mike Corrigan, As married a Finnigin.

He wuz shantyin' thin, wuz Finnigin,

As minny a railroader's been agin,

An' his shmoky ol' lamp wuz burnin' bright In Finnigin's shanty all that night-

 Bilin' down his repoort was Finnigin

An' he writed this here: "Muster Flannigan:

 Off agin, on agin, Gone agin.-Finnigin."