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Joke of the week: "The Talking Dog"

Posted by John McIntyre at 8:43 AM | | Comments (6)


Dear Professor, I dare say you've gone to the dogs w/ this latest 'groaner'. (Hmm...I guess did say just that ? Oh well.)

Pretty darn funny, nonetheless. (I'm a sucker for most doggy-themed humor.)

Loved your closing gruff (ruff?) canine voicing of "Joltin' Joe'" DiMaggio. (Shades of Scooby Doo, I'd say.)

Clearly multi-syllabic Italian surnames were no big 'prob' for this amazing talking wonder-dog. But like all great comic delivery, as the old saying goes, "It's ALL in the timing."(Obviously a slightly passive-aggressive creature, that talking wonder-dog.)

(Babe) "Ruff", indeed! HA!


P.S.: I'm surprised you did toss in, for good measure, the obvious query, "How do you like your sex?"

Wonder Dog's Pavlovian response, naturally........ "Ruff!".(Oh behave!)

Maybe next time around you can use that one on your recycle-the-joke-of-the-week grand tour. HA! (Sorry, that was hitting way below the belt.)

I do believe I told you that joke about 30 years ago. It was one of my father's favorites. The reference to DiMaggio kind of dates it, but I'd never tell it any other way. ("Maybe I shoulda said A-Rod" would not be funny.)

Ah. A classic. I was at an Orioles game (as a fan rather than an employee) in 1985, and told this joke to a couple of preadolescent boys who were seated near me. After the punch line, one of them queried, "Who's DiMaggio?" The other boy replied, "Oo! I know! He's that Mr. Coffee guy!"

That was my "band before Wings" moment.


Ah, those darn kids today!

I recall a particularly funny "Seinfeld" episode where wacko Kosmo Kramer swears to his 'buds'---Jerry, George and Elaine---- that he'd just seen the now aged Joe DiMaggio in some little neighborhood Queen's, NY diner, casually dipping his donut into his coffee........ and claims additional DiMaggio sightings as the episode narrative continues to unwinds.

His cohorts don't really believe him, but finally toward the end of the episode they actually see "Joltin' Joe" in the flesh, ploppin' his glazed cruller into a cuppa java, and Kramer is totally vindicated. (We never actually see the real Dimaggio, but can only imagine the former Mr. Coffee spokesman, out-of-scene. Suspended disbelief, as it were. HA!

I believe "Seinfled" wrapped up its incredibly successful near-decade run in 1999, ironically the year Joe DiMaggio went up to that perfect ball diamond in the sky. Okay, he died.

Whether many of the regular mid-'90s "Seinfeld' viewers even knew who the old "Yankee Clipper", Joe DiMaggio, even was, is moot. Yet for me, a kid who grew up in the '50s, hooked on baseball, listening to the likes of TV announcers Dizzy Dean, Peewee Reese, and Phil Rizutto doing play-by-play, and who further, felt was a pretty astute young student of our 'national past-time' back in the day; at least I had some clue as to who Mr. DiMaggio was, and the legendary status he had attained in the sport.

That incredible, still-standing, unthreatened 56 consecutive game major league hitting streak record he set in 1941 w/ the Yanks, was the stuff of baseball legend. His short-lived, ill-fated marriage to, and sad divorce from Hollywood bombshell Marilyn Monroe was the talk-of-the-town for a time, but clearly Joe was out of his league w/ that matchup. Three strikes and he was out of there.

Ruth, I like your "band before Wings' moment bit. Never heard that one before, but it's kinda cool. I assume that would have to be referring to The Beatles, That other 'Band on the Run', of course being Wings, music genius Paul McCartney's second ensemble act in a truly amazing career.

The 'long and winding road' has taken that brilliant lad from Liverpool a long, long, way in life. For sure.

Paul and John created musical magic together, and Ringo and George were no slouches either. To have experienced Beatlemania and the whole Fab Four evolution (revolution?) as it was actually happening in real time, was such a treat for all of us who grew up in that tumultuous decade of the '60s. The kids today have NO idea. But I digress.

Great, fond memories, nonetheless.


I'm pretty sure I read this in My Weekly Reader a few years after DiMaggio retired.

Alex, there's another old joke circulating which has achieved "classic" status: that of the child who is going through a parent's old LPs, and later remarks to a friend, "Did you know Paul McCartney was in a band before Wings?" Billy Crystal repeats this joke on one of his stints as the host of Saturday Night Live.

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About John McIntyre
John McIntyre, mild-mannered editor for a great metropolitan newspaper, has fussed over writers’ work, to sporadic expressions of gratitude, for thirty years. He is The Sun’s night content production manager and former head of its copy desk. He also teaches editing at Loyola University Maryland. A former president of the American Copy Editors Society, a native of Kentucky, a graduate of Michigan State and Syracuse, and a moderate prescriptivist, he writes about language, journalism, and arbitrarily chosen topics. If you are inspired by a spirit of contradiction, comment on the posts or write to him at
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