Gentlemen, roll your crusts
When he is not taking dictation from the Comintern, Andy Green, the editorial page editor of that notorious lefty socialist Obamination The Baltimore Sun, occasionally discourses on topics that do not dangerously increase the blood pressure of right-thinking Americans. Yesterday, it was piecrust.
Surprisingly, Mr. Green, for a dedicated stooge of the totalitarian conspiracy to undermine all traditional values, is a strict-constructionist traditionalist about pie. Store-bought crusts, no matter how convenient or highly recommended, will simply not do. Piecrust must be handmade, and handmade by traditional methods. Leave the food processor on the shelf. (Well, perhaps not entirely traditional; he can’t quite bring himself to endorse lard, though no fat makes better crusts.) And he presents those traditional methods in meticulous detail.
You will note, however, that he not only advises using vodka in crust, a technique my wife embraced during the past year, but also explains the chemistry of it. Perhaps there is something to progressivism after all.
Clip this editorial if you still have yesterday’s print edition, or retrieve it while it is still available online. The holidays are upon us, and you have little time left to begin your baking. Remember: Cake is good, and cheesecake is better. Pudding is satisfying. Trifles and syllabubs are festive. But to round out that holiday dinner, to remind us that the world is full of good things that a beneficent Providence meant for us to savor, nothing beats pie.