Men's fashion tips
Summer’s end is upon us, and by Tuesday morning you will have put away the seersucker, the white slacks, the straw hat. This seasonal transition is as good a time as any to review a few basics about men’s dress. The trick is all in knowing what not to do.
The purpose of the bill is to keep the sun out of your eyes; the purpose is therefore met when the cap is worn with the bill forward. If you think that wearing the cap with the bill to one side, or backward with the one-size-fits-all tab in the middle of your forehead, displays individuality, you have been badly advised.
Men’s caps and hats are removed * at table, in houses of worship, in courts of law, in schools and libraries, at the theater or opera, in elevators when ladies are present.
Fashions vary — tight pipestems, bell-bottoms, wide and baggy — but if you have to use one hand to hold your pants up, you have compromised the benefits of bipedalism. Buy a belt and keep your hands free.
Once you’ve decided that the tie with the Looney Tunes characters is fine for the office, you’re on a slippery slope that leads to the novelty tie market. Beware.
The pus-yellow necktie worn with a white shirt and blue suit will irresistibly remind people of the 1980s and the tyranny of John T. Molloy.
Do not let your lack of knowledge about how to tie a bow tie inhibit you.
Urban trends notwithstanding, neither boxers nor briefs are appropriate for public display.
Never mind David Letterman’s example; do not wear white socks with a dark suit.
On a golf course, only other golfers have to look at you.
You’re free to go about in public in a T-shirt, shorts and bulky athletic shoes without socks. No doubt you will feel more comfortable. You will also look like an alarmingly tall toddler that has grown a paunch.
It is not advantageous for most Americans to draw attention to their hips.
Manufacturers’ and designers’ logos
Merchants pay to have their wares advertised on billboards. Why are you making yourself a billboard for free?
* Unless one is Jewish and Orthodox.