This is Guyland
Today on Midday we hear from an author whose subject fascinates me, and which I've written about myself from time to time -- the state of protracted adolescence that a lot of young American men find themselves in these days. Sociologist Michael Kimmel, who wrote the acclaimed book Manhood in America, is out with another probing look at masculinity in our culture. This time the focus is on young men, between 16 and 26, middle-class, college-bound or recently graduated, unmarried and aimless, stuck in low-paying jobs and partying hard, and having a hard time growing up. Kimmel calls this place in life Guyland, also the title of his new book. Guyland is a perilous world, Kimmel says, where boys struggle to become men but end up in what he and others call prolonged adolescence. We'll talk to Michael Kimmel about how growing up has become more complex and dangerous for millions of young guys. That's the first hour of Midday, after NPR news at noon.
Here's an excerpt from a column I wrote a couple of years ago. Got quite a bit of angry reaction to this -- mostly from the dudes I was referring to.
PLAYSTATION BINGE PUSHES GROWN-UP'S BUTTONS
Published on Sunday, November 19, 2006Somebody - OK, I'll do it - needs to say a few choice words to the
thousands of 20- something guys who waited in long lines so they could spend a
week's take-home pay for a PlayStation 3 game. So here goes: Grow up! Get a
life!
Volunteer to be a big brother somewhere.
Coach a basketball team.
Spend some quality time with your grandparents before they die.
If you want to "experience the most realistic combat ever," sign up for the
Marines and go to Fallujah!
I'm not talking about the flippers - the guys who waited in line to buy
PlayStation 3 so they could turn around and sell it for several times its
already inflated retail cost.
I'm talking about the rest of you - the red-eyed gamers who waited and
slept in line, in some places for days, and in the rain, the ones who pushed
and shoved and even trampled other shoppers. Some of you bounded out of stores
smiling triumphantly, PlayStation held high, as if you had just won Lord
Stanley's Cup or accomplished some other admirable feat.
I know I speak for many Americans - some your own age, believe it or not -
who find your obsession with video games, your dopey surrender to the hype,
and your willingness to give time and money to the pursuit of an overpriced,
made-in-some-other-country electronic toy to be wholly vulgar.
It's not that we oppose fun. Fun is great. But you have plenty of fun.
You've been having fun for years. Yours is the most leisurely, pampered,
tattooed generation ever. Some of you still live with your mommies and
daddies, and there's no military draft so, compared to guys who came before
you - your fathers and uncles and grandparents - you have a pretty cushy life.
You might not be aware of it, but you are in what has been described as a
state of protracted adolescence. The nation is crawling with guys who live in
this state, and the PlayStation binge of the past week sent that message to
the world.
"Has any nation ever been so disconnected from a war as this one?" a reader
named Pat Conner wrote in an e-mail last week. "Thousands of soldiers
returning from Iraq and Afghanistan, maimed physically and emotionally for
life [and] the media celebrates this orgy of capitalism and the bravery and
toughness of the video game enthusiast."
Look, guys. No one wants to take away your toys.
But maybe you want to put your passion into something else. I mean, by the
time you're 25 or 26 or 27, maybe you ought to be finding your bliss in
something other than Grand Theft Auto and Gears of War. Maybe Call of Duty
ought to be something real - something you actually do, as a military or
civilian volunteer - rather than a game you play.
There's still time for you. We need to replenish our stock of genuine
grown-ups. It's your turn. Really. Your country needs you. Your community
needs you. Your family needs you, and your grandparents need someone to rake the
leaves.
Comments
There's some fiscal note I think you ignore here. Time was a man could get married at 18, start a family, buy a house, let his wife stay at home while he worked, and it was all financially affordable and what society dictated.
Now, in order to make a decent living and be of society, you have to get a bachelor's degree and usually a master's degree, taking up 4 to 6 years of your life post-college. That drops you, if you can financially do it, at between 23-25 without ever having actually worked a full time job. So, with a heap of education but no working experience, you spend the next few years working for peanuts in order to build a resume. so now you're 28, probably in dept from colllege loans and barely able to afford an apartment or a car, let alone invest in a house or start a family while remaining financially responsible. So you have this army of single people without family responsibilities, using credit card debt to finance their entertainment to get whatever kicks they can while barely keeping their heads above water. I dunno, doesn't sound like a cushy existence to me.
Hey, and video games are better than what t used to be considered normal behavior, namely drinking heavily after a shift, dropping the family grocery money at the local social club or corner bar.
Take this not so much as a defense of today, but more an additional perspective.
Posted by: GMan | October 2, 2008 2:17 PM