“Not long ago my father passed away; we were never really close. I attended his funeral in Newport News, hugged my sisters, bade my farewell and flew back to Baltimore. It was when I recalled the color guard of the United States Air Force presenting arms and performing the 21-gun salute for my father that I realized the things he taught me.
“We didn't grow up rich. We lived meekly. We had our problems. My dad was a master sergeant and he was away a lot -- and I blamed him for that for many years. As a Marine, I now understand the duties that pull us away from our families, and how we can't always give our families all that we would like to provide.
“As those Airmen fired those shots over my father's grave, it dawned on me that my father taught me one of life's greatest lessons -- that money isn't everything, that freedom is worth everything, even dying for if you have to, and to cherish the time you have with your family and friends when you're not deployed and while here on this Earth. It was on the way back on that plane to Baltimore, as tears rolled down my cheeks, I realized that I am indeed my father's son.”
Ssgt. Keith Campbell, U.S. Marine Corps

Posted by Dan Rodricks at 11:15 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
                    

My father taught and continues to teach me many things...even at the ripe old age of 30! (LOL).  Here are just a few of them:
Always be on time. (Although my father is always late, he managed to instill in me the importance og being on time.)
Take your time in accomplishing tasks and don't rush.  You usually make a lot of mistakes when you rush.
When approaching a problem, try to think it through step by step.  Don't just jump into it with no plan.
Sometimes, you have to be quiet and just listen to other people. (It took me a while to learn this one)
Always work hard and do the absolute best that you can. (He didn't so much tell me this...this I learned more from example)
Be patient.  You can't always have everything right away. (I'm still working on this one...)
There are many other things that my father taught of the course of 30yrs.  If I listed them all, I would be writing a book.  These were just a few that stick out in my mind and that I seem to use the most.  Once again, great column and I hope it reaches a multitude of people.
Jimmy R. Lewis, Jr.

Posted by Dan Rodricks at 7:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
                    

My father taught me to stay a kid as long as possible.  While both of my parents made sure to instill a strong work ethic in my brother and me, my dad once helped me ditch school. The day before my 13th Birthday, he pulled me out of class in the middle of the day to get ice cream, go to a park, and just “be a kid one more day” before the horror of being a teenager began.. . . . Being an adult is realizing it’s not all about you. There are bills you need to pay, events you have to attend, and chores you need to complete.  No one cares if you feel like doing these things, you just do them.  . . . Education is key.  No if, ands, or buts.  And no one said it would be easy, so complaining will get you nowhere. . . And perhaps the most important thing I’ve learned from my father: If you’re daddy’s little girl, and you’re away at college, daddy will understand if you rack up a little credit card debt.  But if most of this debt is from Victoria’s Secret, he won’t be so understanding!
Meghan McCormick, Towson

When I started driving, my father took me out to the car, showed me every part, hose, and wire, and told me how everything worked. He showed me how to change a flat tire, how to change my oil, how to replace my spark plugs and windshield wipers, and how to know if my car needed a tune-up . . . My father taught me to drive with a manual transmission, which I still think is the coolest skill in the world.  . . . I consider a manual transmission the best theft deterrent there is, even better than Lojack.
Gynene Sullivan, Baltimore

 

Even back in the "olden days" of the 40's and 50's, I was never told that I couldn't do something because I was a girl. So I've never been afraid to try anything that I wanted to try (and have enjoyed a lot of happiness and success as a result).”<
Aside from that, the five most important things my father taught me are: Life isn't always fair, but it's mostly what you make of it, and is pretty great anyway. Don't waste your time and energy on hate; if you really dislike someone, ignore their existence. Keep your promises. Stick by your principles, but don't be stupidly stubborn; people recognize the difference. Always stand tall, and act like you know what you're doing -- even when you're not so sure you do.
Dayle Dawes, Arnold

Posted by Dan Rodricks at 6:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
                    

I learned a couple things from my dad:
1.To note the absurdity in certain things of life and to equip yourself with a healthy sense of humor so as not to be engulfed completely by sadness. Face up to the challenges and absurdities, but at least with something of a wry smile.
2. In addition, he taught me that learning & education extend far beyond the confines of school. In technical terms, I have more schooling than my father, but in real life terms, my father is far more learned than I am and I'm forever catching up. When I'm finally in, he's out and onto the next thing. Cultivating a quick mind is one of the goals and attributes I really admire about him.
John Lane
Baltimore

What I learned from my dad:
He stressed that our lives were blessed and showed, through example, how to express our gratitude to God.
He taught us the healing power of humor and laughter, even during life's most difficult events.
He taught us tolerance, for each other, and for all people in different walks of life.
He taught us that effective communication was essential in matters of love, marriage, friendships and careers.
He taught us to make decisions by asking advice,listing pros and cons and asking ourselves, " What's the worse that could happen?"
He became a reformed male chauvinist after assuming his deceased wife's responsibilities and on the day he realized we (his daughter and son-in-law)could not pay the mortgage on our rowhouse without his daughter's income!
As he was dying he asked us (his children) to stay close to one another and to remember him and mom, not as perfect human beings, but as the genuine  people ("warts and all") they strove to be.  
Kathleen Baldwin
Towson, Md.

Posted by Dan Rodricks at 6:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
                    

Thanks for the opportunity to write this. It's been 10 years since my Dad passed away, and all I can say is the world and I lost a real cool guy. He taught me a ton more stuff than I can relate here obviously, so here's the 'short' list...

-He taught me that music is the language of God. He never said that--I figured that out by his example. My very first memory is of him practicing every night on his guitar (he was a notable jazz guitarist around Baltimore, played with Zim Zimmerel, played in Truman's band in WWII, etc). I saw how music transformed him into a chubby buddha with that omniscent, happy look on his face. And it's obvious from the crowds he played for that music brings disparate groups of folks together digging on the same groove, looking at each other with those same knowing glances.

-He taught me how it's important to say you're sorry when you hurt people. And mean it--and not do the offending thing again.

-He taught me to appreciate humor of all types, as laughing is one of the funnest things you can do, and how it breaks down arbitrary societal mores that pretend to separate us from another. And it can teach us not to be so self-righteous or think we're any more important than anyone else. He taught me how to make impromptu jokes too.

-He taught me how to eat hot peppers, raw oysters, steamed crabs; drink beer and make a very dry martini (only let the gin bottle 'look' at the vermouth bottle, briefly!).

-He taught me that all people were cool, as we had his jazz musician friends of all races, genders, ethnic or religious groups, shapes and sizes play in our house and at our family parties. As a kid I used to See Sammy Ross, the little people actor, at our house, who was one of my Dad's friends. It was cool to have a grown-up who was my size. And it was cool to have all these diffent people around me as a kid--that taught me I'm no different from anybody.

-He taught me it's more important to do things than it is to talk about them.

-He taught me that your freedom extends the length of your arm. After that you're affecting other people's freedom.

-He taught me never to hold a grudge or stay mad. He and I would get into a typical alpha-male teenage/parent exchange (which happened a lot in the 1960's), yelling and screaming at each other, saying rotten things...and five minutes later we'd be laughing our butts off, tears rolling down our faces at something we saw on TV together.

-He taught me that worrying is a complete waste of your precious time here on Earth. When he had  quadruple by-pass surgery at age seventy-some, my Mom, brother and I were all afraid he wouldn't make it. He told us to stop bothering him so he could read the paper. (He was fine after the surgery).

-He taught me how to die honorably and with dignity and even a certain measure of 'cool.' He had terminal cancer and had a few weeks to live. He never stopped smiling through it even though he was in big pain. He never complained, he never said he got a bad deal or that he wanted more time.

All he said was that he loved us all very much.

He did pull me aside a week before he died to ask me to take care of my Mom because she'll need me to help her now.

And I was holding his hand when he passed.

Posted by Dan Rodricks at 4:15 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
                    

Persistence - this lesson came through a game my dad played with my sisters and me.  He'd put some change in his fist and have us take turns trying to pry open the fist.  The winner got to keep the change. This lesson resulted in my persisting in acquiring my own education, in educating our two sons and, as an educator, prodding my students to do their best work.
 
Politeness -- dad taught us to shake hands with visitors to our home and  with people at church or in town and to call them by name, using a title for grown-ups.  As a woman today, I tend to offer a firm handshake when greeting people and to offer my hand first when greeting men.
 
Proper decorum -- even in a household with two parents, it was my father who would say to us girls as we sat in a chair with rungs, "Keep your feet on the floor," making us aware of proper posture for young women.  Later when my dad discovered that I had taken up smoking in college, he made one plea, "Do me a favor; don't smoke in the street."  I think of Dad today when I cross my legs at the ankle while sitting on a dais.  Of course, the smoking ceased even before I married and had children.
 
If the aforementioned lessons seem dated, perhaps they are. I grew up African American in the 1940's in rural Virginia. My dad had only an elementary school education, though he stressed education for my sisters and me.  He had expired before I earned my doctorate, but I know that he would be proud that I kept my feet on the floor while I pried open doors to education and while I continue to encourage my students to persist.
 
Mary Hairston McManus

 

My father taught me to be honest......but to think like a crook. In 1944 or 1945, prior to the days of "Dicks" or "Sports Authority" my father took me to "Simon Harris" on Gay Street and bought me a new baseball glove, really nice. We lived in Hamilton and I played a lot of ball at Hamilton Junior High School.I alwaws rode my bike and carried my glove by the strap on the handlebar. Upon returning home one day, I decided to stop in the Acme store that was located on the east side of Harford Road just a little north of Hamilton Avenue to buy some chocolate candy. After making my purchase, I proceeded on my way home and when I reached St. Dominic's Church, I looke down and realized my glove was gone. I retraced my path but of course, the glove was nowhere to be found. My next task was to tell my father, the glove was practically new. He looked me straight in the eye and said that because I wouldn't take something from someone else that I wouldn't think someone else would take something of mine. He didn't want me to be dishonest, but he wanted me to protect my belongings as if I would was a thief and would try to take them. He then bought me another glove, exactly like the one that was stolen. By the way, I also always wear an undershirt as did my father, although I can't recall him pointing this out, so I must have acquired this habit by example.
Samuel A. Bellestri

Posted by Dan Rodricks at 1:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
                    

My father taught me...
     to work smart, not hard.
     to do it right...the first time.
     to check, double check, and triple check my work, before saying "it's done."
     how to fix plumbing, tile my bathroom floor, basically...work on my house, MYSELF.
     how to re-finish beautiful antiques...that were damaged, or painted.
     how to cook the Thanksgiving/Christmas turkey, and grandpa's gravy.
     how to shoot pool.
     how to have a good time, no matter where I am.  
           
My father didn't teach me how to read, but my father taught me that I could make/fix/do anything, if I read the directions.
My father didn't teach me how to do stained glass. When I wanted him to buy me an expensive stained glass lamp as my Christmas present, he said he wouldn't.  However, he was more then willing to spend 1/2 the price of the lamp to send me class to learn how to do stained glass myself.  The he taught me how to make my own channeled frames for my stained glass pieces.
My father taught me how to be the strong, independent, self sufficient woman that I am today!!  THANX DAD!!
Dhana Clark It has taken more than three decades for three of the four siblings in our family to finally discuss our past with each other. One of us still can't bear to talk about it. Here are a few details that stand out:
 
Things My Father Taught Me . . .
 
He taught me that I couldn't save my siblings or myself from  sexual abuse by him, because I was just a kid. But one of my younger siblings says they remember me as their protector. I would hide with them and tell stories, tales of how we would run away someday and we wouldn't be hurt anymore.
He taught me that an abuser can present a good image. People are fooled by a smiling sociopath, even as he's moving to a new town because he preyed on married women at his workplace. 
He taught me that a father will be believed when he tells his spouse that he only abused one of his children, and it only happened once, and it was "no big deal."
Here are the sweetest words I've ever heard. A couple of years ago one of my (young adult) children said, "Dad, I'm really proud of you." When I asked why, the answer was, "Because you grew up being abused, and you decided when you had a family you were't going to have an abusive one."
Instead of thinking of my father, I will focus on those words this Father's Day.
Wishing to remain anonymous

Posted by Dan Rodricks at 8:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
                    

I'm 54 and have children of my own, including a son (16) who will be receiving his Eagle Scout rank on 6/24.  As a father, I've passed on many of the lessons learned from my father. Three that I would like to share are the most profound lessons of life, having served me well and brought me to where I am today.  I've instilled them in my own my own children, and as a Baltimore Police officer (27-year veteran) I've shared them with the many juveniles I've come in contact with (both arrested and mentored).
1. Your honesty and your integrity are the most valuable things you'll have.  Only you can attain them and protect them ... and only you can throw them away if they don't mean anything to you. Nobody makes you tell a lie ... you make that decision.  Nobody makes you cheat or steal ... you make that decision.
2. Your education is the second most valuable thing in your life.  With it you can be and do whatever you want ... your education is the key to your success. The teacher gets paid whether you learn or not  . . .  It's your choice to take advantage of their efforts.
3. Work hard, give 110% effort.  It will be noticed and appreciated. Your boss doesn't owe you (a job) ... you owe him your loyalty and an honest days work. (My father served 28 years in the Army, and then 20 years with the United StatesPostal Service.  He never missed a day of work from illness.)
I thank God for the many lessons my father taught me.  They have all served me well throughout my life.
Thanks for the opportunity to tell you of this remarkable man.
Sgt. Laron W. Wilson

Posted by Dan Rodricks at 7:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
                    

My relationship with my Dad was good at the beginning, I remember a pleasant childhood.  Then came the divorce from my mother and he was out of my life for 13 years.  I took the high road and invited him to my wedding which opened the door to him for my siblings and I.  Our relationship grew from there.  We learned to respect each other as individuals, adults, parents and children.  They were very good years.

Long and short of it all, on my wedding day my Father said to me two words, "Love totally."  At the birth of my daughter, the first time he held her he said to her "Love totally."  Finally at his funeral I repeated back to him "Love totally" and thanks!

No matter the paths we took, me to college and him through rough alcoholic years, I think those two words held a bond for us.  I am sorry he is gone and did not get a chance to see his grand-daughters grow but I know he watches over us.  When I am down or having a bad day,  I close my eyes and listen very closely.  I can hear him say "Erin, love totally".

Erin Byrd
Aberdeen, MD

Posted by Dan Rodricks at 11:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
                    

1. Read the directions FIRST and count all the parts.
2. Sand with the grain.
3. Appreciate the tools you have and don't abuse them. (A wrench is not a hammer, a screw driver is not a chisel.)
4 .Never cut wire  / wood / pipe  "exactly."    Always " over allow "  on  them.  You can't glue back
    the wood you  " under cut "....measure it twice ..cut it once.
5.  Don't  " pop the clutch" when stopped uphill at a stop sign/ red light.
6.   He taught me how to read a road map,  use a compass,  plot and  lay a course line,  and most importantly, how to re-fold that road map so it firt  neatly in the glove box.
7.  Look beore you sit down...(Mom had just taken a fresh baked Pumpkin Pie from the oven and put it on the small bench in the kitchen, and Pop  came in, sat down to unlace his boots, and after a moment, got up VERY quickly).  This was a VISUAL  lesson.
8. You can't put the spray nozzle back on a can of whipped cream once you break it off......well, you can try, but the results are messy.
9.  Appreciate a good joke.
10.  How to tie a Windsor knot  and a Four in Hand knot  so the ends come out even.
W. Brooks Riley
Parkville, Md.

Some axiom's of my Dad, Robert Fontaine:

" Don't ever think you're better than some else, just try to be a
better person."

"It's the responsibility of every generation to make the world of work
and society better for the next generation."

"The only people who get in trouble are those who try to do something."
 (offered when I got in a political jam at work)

"Don't worry about the politics (at work), just serve your members and
the politics will take care of themselves." ( My Dad and I were each
union officials at one point in our lives.)

"When in doubt, ask yourself , "What would Dad want me to do?" (This
was very helpful when I became a 19-year-old married father.)

"You may disagree with your wife, but always treat her with respect."

"Kids remember everything - so watch yourself."

I finally got into the enjoyable habit of reading when my father
insisted I read at least one editorial a day. At first I didn't know
what most editorials were saying, but I'd discuss it with my Dad and I
would learn about issues and values. This started when I was about
twelve, which eventually led to daily newspaper habit and thousands of
books.

David Fontaine

Things my father taught me:
1. To pick the strawberries that are ripe for picking and how to walk
down the row without smashing any other berries that are still ripening
2.  To dig for clams in the mud with my toes
3.  To entertain myself with a little string and a bag of chicken wings
at Public Landing
4.  To change a flat tire (although I definitely did not want to learn
this at 16).  He insisted that if I was going to drive a car, I needed
to know how to change a flat tire.
5.  Never to bring the car back with the fuel gauge on “Empty.”
6.  Never put the cookies back in the pantry with only one left in the
box.
7.  To help those who do not have as much as you do.  When I told him
years ago about a homeless guy in Gino’s on York Road trying to bum
something to eat from us poor college kids, he was stunned that we had
not shared our food with him.  I never made that mistake again.   Many
homeless fellows have shared my leftovers in Little Italy and Fells
Point since.
8.  “Every jackass thinks his load is the heaviest” was his response
when I complained about having to do more work than my younger sisters
and brother.  You can bet I think twice before I complain about
anything.  I hear his voice in my head saying, “Every jackass…”
9.  To kiss my spouse good-bye every time I leave the house.  As kids,
we always saw him kiss our mother when he left the house because he
said, “You never know what today will bring.”   I think now that while
Mother might not have found the words comforting, the kiss surely was.

Faith Hermann

In memory of my dad, James E. Pringle, who died of Alzheimer's Disease on Nov. 24, 2006
 
1. My dad taught me that "talk is cheap...it takes money to buy land!" He told me to, "Keep my mouth shut sometimes and let people think I am a fool, than to open it and remove their doubts!" He reminded me to think before responding...it does keep you out of trouble.
 
2. My dad taught me that church is a personal thing: You go to personally spend time with God. He always said, "I can't stand church folk...but I love God's people!" As a minister of music, it is good to know the difference.
 
3. Dad taught me to be real to the core... He couldn't stand hypocrites. He told me, "If you are going to be a crook, be a good crook! If you are going to be a doctor, be a good doctor." There wasn't a phony bone in his body . . . It is a trait I have embraced. I am real and will say what I feel...it doesn't always produce a positive result, but it's a positive trait nonetheless.
 
4. Dad taught me very poignantly that love is stronger than Alzheimer's Disease. Even when he couldn't talk, walk, or do anything for himself, he still puckered up when it was time to kiss Mom. His love transcended that boundary, and it made me realize just how strong and lasting love can be.

Submitted by: Robert Pringle, New Freedom, Pa.

Posted by Dan Rodricks at 9:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
                    

I learned the value of loyalty from my dad. He has been married to the same woman for 57 years and worked at Bethlehem Steel for 42 years. I have been married to the same woman for 25 years and rewtired from Baltimore County after 32 years.
   FAMILY AND CHURCH come first because in the end, that's all we really have.
   BASEBALL IS THE GREATEST GAME man has invented. Life lessons evolve out of it. You can never replace the smell of your glove or the feeling you get walking in the outfield grass when the dew makes your shoes wet in the hot morning sun. One of my dads greatest joys is the fact that my son is playing college baseball.
   DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY even if it means playing hockey for the Jr. Clippers instead of continuing to play baseball..
    I grew up in a home where my mom was alawys home. Dinner was at 5pm sharp. Dad worked swingshift, but always seemed to be at all my functions. We had one car, a Corvair, but it got me to Towson everyday. How did dad get to work those days? We went through long strikes at " the Point" and never went to O.C. Today's child might think I missed some things. That never crossed my mind and I can only hope I am half the Dad as he is.
Steve Morlock
Bel Air

My father taught me to show as much respect to the cleaning people as to the CEO.
 
My father taught me to always try my best - whether it was in school or on the tennis court.
 
My father taught me to love sports and especially the Orioles and the Ravens (who were the Colts in his day).
 
He taught me the importance of a sense of humor.
 
He taught me to be skeptical. He taught me to think for myself and to not follow even if following was safer.
 
He taught me that a solid education would carry me through life.
 
He taught me self-reliance.
 
He taught me to learn from past mistakes and to strive to not repeat those mistakes.
 
He taught me to respect the elderly.
 
He taught me to appreciate my family and my friends and to not get attached to material possessions.
 
My father taught me the beauty of nature - whether it was a walk along the beach in Ocean City or a hike on the Appalachian Trail.
 
He taught me to respect the earth.
 
He taught me that life is short and joys are fleeting.
 
My father died suddenly in 1994 at the age of 75.  On behalf of my twin sister, Carol, my older brother Jef and my other older sisters, Janet and Jeannie, we thank you for this opportunity to thank him.
Karen J. Fry

Our father, Sheldon Pelovitz (Columbia, MD) is the most wonderful dad ever. His sense of humor is definitely one of a kind. He taught us that he may not always be right but he's never wrong . . . that the best diet is a "see-food" diet (you see food and you eat it) . . .  But most important of all, he taught us how to love, respect, and to appreciate every day and everyone.
Leah Pelovitz, Baltimore
Kelly Shuford, St. Augustine

My dad taught me that if you walked with purpose and studied nonchalance you could gain access to all manner of places you didn’t really belong. On a visit to his hometown of Boston, we found ourselves in the vicinity of Fenway Park. It was the off season, but as we drove by he spied an open gate. He parked the car, and in we went. I hung back, appalled, convinced that any minute we’d be arrested.  But we were never challenged, and I got the grand tour. It probably helped that my dad was forever being mistaken for a police detective: tall, ramrod posture, long overcoat and fedora. He went on to reveal how, as a young adult, he and his cronies would drop into various hotel functions for free drinks and food when money was tight.
This was a lesson I appreciated but never learned to put into practice myself ;  I have a terrible poker face.  But the tour of the ballpark and the image of my straitlaced dad as the original wedding crasher – priceless.
Sue Walsh
Phoenix, MD

My father was tall and muscular with jet black hair and all my girlfriends thought he was so good looking but to me he just looked like Daddy.  He had the most gentle nature about him.  On sunny summer days he would gather up wild violets and present them to our Mother .  His face would light up like a young boy and he would grab Mom about the waist and give her a kiss while she helplessly shook the dish soap off her hands.  They would laugh together as we kids hid around the corner and giggle at their encounter.  He always grew a garden and now that tradition passed on to my generation and two generations after ours.  I never saw a person so happy as when he brought in a giant zucchini or a plump red tomato.
    
My Dad taught me how to put a fishing hook through a worm, how to cast and how to take the fish off without loosing the hook.  Being the girly girl I was, he mostly did all that for me and I would reap all the credit if we brought a fish home.

He worked at Rustles Steel and then Armco Steel in Baltimore for most of his life as an electrician and taught all his children how to do basic electricity.  I would feel so proud that I could put in a light switch or hang a ceiling light when most of the guys I knew didn't have a clue.
 
My father taught me how to ice skate, although he always tied the laces too tight.  I could never master the way he would skate backward and do flips and spins.  He taught us how to hold a golf club and how not to swing.  When he would play in local tournaments he would always come home with a trophy.  Who knows how great he could have been if he didn't have such a large family to care for.  He worked two jobs sometime so that Mom did not have to work outside the home could be there when we got back from school.
 
It wasn't until his funeral some eleven years ago that total strangers came up to me and told me how he had made their live better.  They told me of how he would give them a ride to the store or fix their electricity for free or haul something away because they didn't have a car, give them vegetables from his garden or just smile and wish them well.  They spoke of how they admired a man with five children that could work a job all day, come home, help with dinner and enjoyed the clean up with Mom because that was one time they had alone.
Karen Welsch-Susio
Nottingham

 

Posted by Dan Rodricks at 3:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
                    

Marie Maltese of Catonsville picked up a lot from her father -- and father-in-law.

My father taught me to . . . .

Never tell a lie.  You'll only have to remember the lie and tell more lies to cover up the lie and you'll just get caught in the end anyway.  I learned the validity of this at a young age, and don't know if it's his training or Catholic guilt or both, but that's a core lesson for me.

Multiplication: Dad and I went through flash cards every single night for months when I was in third grade, and I can still multiply like a machine thanks to his tutelage.

Dad taught me how to solder components for electronics when I was in the first grade.  What can I say? Dad was an electrical engineer . . .

Dad taught me to garden; he comes from a family of farmers, and everyone in our family finds a place for at least a few tomato plants, if nothing else, in order to compete for the first ripe tomato of the season-before July 4th!  He taught me to love vegetables, that no meal was complete without at least one green vegetable, and more green vegetables were better for you than potatoes, pasta, or rice.  He even taught me how to can tomatoes.

Dad taught me when to look for the fastball; that the baseball season is long and a couple of losses are not the end of the world; when to start thinking about putting in the relief pitcher, and that the #1 baseball player of all time is Brooksie.

Family is everything. 

Turn the lights out when you leave the room. 

Save your money. 

Something you don't need, on sale, is not a great deal. 

Beware of credit cards! 

Naps are good for you. 

Education is worth fighting and scrimping and saving for -- and it is something no one can ever take away from you. 

A good work ethic will see you through every day.  On the other hand, a planned early retirement to live at the beach is a sweet way to live your life. 

But most of all, Dad taught me that love doesn't have to be spoken in so many words; a person's actions will always show their love for you more than a few flowery phrases.  Dad has never had to say that he loves me, I know he holds me deep and true in his heart.

I'd also like to add a couple of things I have been blessed to learn from my husband's Father too. Pop is a retired school teacher- a natural teacher!  Most important of all, I have learned the importance of a deep and abiding faith from Pop.  He is one of the most spiritual people I know, and his example is a shining star to me. 

Pop has taught me patience with illness, with hearing loss, and to quietly observe the world around me.  He and I share a love of the coast; and he has shared his memories, his knowledge of the weather, the winds, and the tides, and best of all, he has taught me how to handle a boat, a lifelong dream for me.  He has taught me about his travels with my mother-in-law, and of all the wonderful places they've been and encouraged me to travel as well.  He has taught me so much about the importance of family, about being there with family through the good times and the hard times, because that is the way it is supposed to be.

Posted by Dan Rodricks at 8:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
                    

"My father taught me that, along with the drip pan, new oil and filter, have a stack of rags on hand when changing the oil in the car. My father taught me to give a firm handshake, how to to store filled water balloons in a bucket of water so they don't pop before you're ready to use them, and that paper plates and paper cups can be rinsed and re-used and that paper towels can be removed from the trash to dry and use again if they've only been used to wipe water off of clean hands. This has been fun to think through - thanks for the idea!
Dianne Aguilera
Ellicott City

I am the only son of a  (now deceased) Baltimore City Fire Department captain.  My dad was a singer of homemade ditties.  He would constantly make them up, incorporating subjects relating to our family as the days went on, blending a mixture of old ('30's & '40's) standards, church hymns and newer ('60's) songs. I speak to my oldest sister every other Sunday and we take turns answering the phone with one of dad's ditties, some of which the other may have forgotten.  My guess is that the message was: :"Thingss can never be so bad that you can't sing a song."  I tend to sing my own made-up songs, although my repertoire is not as extensive (or creative) as dad's!  . . . The other thing that dad, a lifelong Democrat, always impressed upon me, when it came time to vote in either local or national elections:  Pick the candidate whose views and policies you agree with -- REGARDLESS OF PARTY AFFILIATION."
David Heise, Sr.

My father (Milton S. King) gave me the gift of optimism. He woke up each day with discovery. He taught me to love travel, new experiences, sharing  and to love people. I was his light and he was my shining star. In the late 50's he and my mother divorced, I was 9. He was granted full custody of me. Years after he was married again, my stepfamily thought my name was "Mylinda" as that is how he referred to me.  He has been gone for 22 years, but not a day goes by that I don't share his beliefs! Thank you for giving me this opportunity to share my thoughts.
Linda A. Foster 

My father taught me that the best way to influence others is to never tell them what they should do. When I decided to major in political science in college, my Dad never told me I should take up accounting, or something useful like that.  A lot of years have passed by since then and, ironically, I'm an accountant now.  Which leads me to the second most important thing my Dad taught me, never say "I told you so".
Karen Richmond
Baltimore

The most important things I learned from my dad, Ralph deRosa, of Niagara Falls, N.Y., were: How to live life with integrity, honor, and his Catholic faith, and how to die with dignity, strength, peace and faith in his God. My father taught his seven children and 18 grandchildren the importance of love and respect in this world. He was surrounded for the last three years of his life, when he was bedridden from a stroke and gradually lost all of his abilities to walk and talk, by his wife and family. Throughout his 86 years on this Earth, he taught us how to live by his example of generosity and unselfishness. Happy Fathers Day, Dad.  We miss you.
Linda Boehman
Frederick

HAVE PRIDE IN YOUR HERITAGE.  Growing up, Dad tortured us with listening to Polish music every Sunday morning.  We would beg for him to change the radio channel. My brother and I were dragged to polka lessons at St. Casmir's growing up. I consider it now one of my fondest childhood memories. . . . Dad taught me to TAKE THE TIME TO LEARN FAMILY TRADITIONS SO ONE DAY YOU CAN PASS THEM ON TO YOUR OWN FAMILY.  Dad was one of a family of five boys and two girls.  He was the only one to learn many of the Polish recipes his mother once made (and) continue to share them today. Today, holidays would not be the same had Dad not taken the time to learn these things.  . . . Dad has shown me the importance of maintaining physical activity into adulthood.  It benefits one's entire self physically, mentally, and in his case, financially (both he and my brother referee rec lacrosse and football).
Jennifer Cieslak
Cockeysville

 

 

 

Posted by Dan Rodricks at 3:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
                    

In honor of Father's Day and fathers everywhere, we offer our readers' responses to the prompt: What did you learn from your father? Our mailbox runneth over with kind, funny and even inspiring letters. Thank you. Here is a good sampling to get you in the mood for Father's Day. More to come in Sunday's column, and in this Blog over the next two days. We will also have a Father's Day comment board where you can offer your own answers to the question: What did I learn from my father?

My husband and I are very blessed to have come from families with very involved fathers.  The top three things my dad has taught me (so far) are:
 
3)  Do not be afraid of snakes.  Just know when to leave them alone.
2)  Have enough funny family stories to fill every holiday; the best ones are about the cat.
1)  Take pictures with your sisters: in front of the door, by the pond, under the tree, and at the beach.  Always take one "nice one" (for Mom) and then one "funny one" (for the rest of us!).  Where would we be without those pictures with all the silly faces?
 
My son (who turns three this week) is already a whiz in the kitchen.  He and my husband do all the cooking.  Charlie's top three things his dad has taught him are:
3)  Grocery shopping with Dad ALWAYS means you get a cookie.
2)  The "five second rule" is the gospel truth.
1)  The bigger the mess, the better it tastes!
 
Thanks!  This was a fun project to write!
Lauren Player, Halethorpe

My Dad taught me several things, one funny, one not. He taught me the gift of sacrifice, as he drove me to and from our home in Frederick to Baltimore on lonely college weekends, and he did the same for all my siblings. He took me to Orioles games when he abhorred baseball, and also broke down and let us get a dog, then a second one, when all the while he hated dogs. And who took the German Shepherd out to poop once her rear end gave out?  Dad.
I owe so much to Frank O'Leary, but was he perfect? Sorry, Dad, No way! When I was a lad, I saw him eating raw oysters from a pint container and begged for one. He gave it to me, without any cocktail sauce. It tasted terrible, just as he intended. Years later, he told me "You weren't ready for the lesson in supply and demand!" Now, we cherish our joint seafood moments with crabs and oysters. I have been blessed!
Mike O'Leary

My father - Dan Holtzman - has taught me:
-To treat everyone fairly.
-To love family
-To value education  & reading
-To love sports especially baseball
-To seek justce
-To seek truth
-To respect our religion - Judaism - and to respect
everyones right to worship [or not to worship] in
their own way
-To show me through his example how to be a good
husband and father
-To revere the law especially the US Constitution and
the ten commandments
-To question authority and to be especially critical
of our political leaders when they lie to us or break
the
law
-To love music
-To want to learn about history
-To care for art both man-made and natural
Allan Holtzman

My dad, Hugh Coyle, taught us that honesty was the best policy, that we should 'tell the truth and shame the devil.' He taught us the value of hard work, first in school and later in the real world.  Had I kept at golf, which we all learned at his side, hard work would ring true there too.  :)  Dad also taught us the value of saving money and never getting into debt.  Actually, the only 'good' debt was a mortgage - owning your own home gave you both a place to live and an investment in your future."
Jane Coyle Ballentine
Baltimore

My father was Joe Muth, Sr. He was a man who dedicated himself to providing for his wife Joan and children, nine. And if that weren't enough, he and his wife fostered many-a-child and also gave exchange students a place to call home. Man people, no matter race, religion, culture were welcomed in our home.
He was a man where three things were of importance to him -- God, family and friends. He was a father who believed in listening to what a child had to say, to work through a problem, to never go to bed angry. He taught what was right and what wasn't. . . . He worked his entire life, even with the on-set of Alzheimer's. He gave to you his smile, with sincerity, friendship and love.  With Honor, Respect and Love I work hard everyday to remember my father through every action of my own, and though I may have hit a few walls, my father still holds me to another day. 
Kathleen Muth
Baltimore

 

Even back in the "olden days" of the 40's and 50's I was never told that I couldn't do something because I was a girl, so I've never been afraid to try anything that I wanted to try (and have enjoyed a lot of happiness and success as a result).  Aside from that, the five most important things my father taught me are:
Life isn't always fair -- but it's mostly what you make of it, and is pretty great anyway.
Don't waste your time and energy on hate -- if you really dislike someone, ignore their existence.
Keep your promises.
Stick by your principles, but don't be stupidly stubborn -- and people do recognize the difference.
Always stand tall, and act like you know what you're doing -- even when you're not so sure you do.
Dayle Dawes
Arnold

Posted by Dan Rodricks at 1:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
                    

Wondering wha's up with the Next Generation? I guess I mean Generation Y. In J-Rod's case, it might be Generation Z. Anyway, J-Rod is this 14-year-old girl I know, and she's, like, on summer vacation from school, so I suggested she blog-along with me. Here, for starters, are J-Rod's mid-June Top Tens, the first in a summer series of blogarithms from my teenaged, trend-watching daughter.

Top Ten songs
1) Foundations- Build Me up, Buttercup
2) The Format - Dead End
3) The Faces- Oh La La
4) Elliot Yamin- Wait for You
5) Matt Costa - Sunshine
6) Fort Minor - Remember the Name
7) Peggy Lee - Fever
8) Temptations - My girl
9) Paolo Nutini - Last Request
10) Gym Class Heroes - Cupids Choke Hold
 
Top Ten Movies:
1) Little Miss Sunshine
2) The Holiday
3) Catch and Release
4) Chocolat
5) Deja Vu
6) How to lose a guy in ten days
7) Love Actually
8) Dream Girls
9) Tommy Boy
10) Happy Feet
 
Hot Old Men :
1) George Clooney
2) Richard Gere
3) Jude Law
4) Patrick Dempsey
5) John Stamos
6) John Travolta
7) Hugh Laurie
8) Johnny Depp
9) Mark Wahlberg
10) Hugh Jackman
11) Matthew McConaughey
 
Hot younger guys :
1) Channing Tatum
2) Jesse Spencer
3) Ryan Sheckler
4) Tom Welling
5) Orlando Bloom
6) Ryan Gossling
7) Pete Wentz
8) Apollo Anton Ohno
9) Patrick O'Brien Demsey
10) Trevor Blumas
 
Top Ten Shows:
1) House
2) Gilmore Girls
3) Grounded For life
4) What I like about You
5) Boy Meets World
6) Friends
7) Family Guy
8) My Wife and Kids
9) Seinfeld
10) How It's Made

Top Ten Stores:
1) American Eagle
2) H&M
3) Delias
4) Wave Dancer
5) Cloud 9
6) Brass Plum
7) Hollister
8) Pac Sun
9) Forever 21
10) Gap

Posted by Dan Rodricks at 5:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)