The latest issue of Lacrosse magazine contains a "Parting Shot" essay that smacks of the most laughable kind of old-school classism, affirming in just a few dozen words every cynic's view of lacrosse as an elitist, rich-white-boy sport. The author is Brooke Tunstall, National Hall of Famer who played for Hopkins in the 1940s and apparently a self-appointed guardian of his sport's blue-bloodline. As a work of writing in the English language, the essay is sophomore stuff, and much of it is trite. Yet it manages to makes Tunstall's main point early. The good thing is, you only have to read through the second paragraph to get what he's is trying to say.

After stating that he's "thrilled" with lacrosse's growing popularity across the country, Tunstall confesses unease that more and more prols have armed themselves with sticks, and that his beloved sport is under cultural assault.

"Do all these newcomers really understand what is most valuable and unique about the game? Is the true spirit of lacrosse spreading far and wide, along with the paraphernalia, hype and glamour? Or is there, almost inevitably, a diminution of the essential character and culture of this remarkable sport, as it diversifies geographically and socio-economically?"

I'd like to be able to tell you that Tunstall answers these questions because, had he done so, I'd probably have more richly pretentious prose to quote here. But, alas, he chickens out, and the rest of the essay is filled with boring reminiscences of the good old days and how Tunstall and his band of privileged brothers understood and honored, better than most of us apparently, the values of teamwork, honesty, integrity and selflessness.
It's a real snore. But, in terms of making its essential point -- as lacrosse becomes more popular, the great unwashed will be involved, not just fertilizing the fields but actually playing on them -- Tunstall succeeds in warning his superior generation of the looming threat. Run for your lives! The prols are bearing long poles!

While we're on the subject of lacrosse and class and all that jazz . . . . Here's a note from someone whoi has been listening to all the backlash blather against the prosecutor in the Duke sexual assault case: "Lost in people's outrage over the ambitious prosecutor is even more necessary outrage about the tawdry nature of what these preppy boys did, calling across town to the historically black college to get their stripper. I bet powerful Wall Street types are getting in line to offer these boys six-figure jobs. Ticks me off that this kind of behavior all of a sudden makes these guys darlings of the rich and powerful."