Why can't Baltimore have wiseguys?
The new indictment filed last week against former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich, in addition to fun new corruption counts, contained some amusing names -- his former chief of staff Alonzo "Lon" Mark and fundraiser Antoin "Tony" Rezko.
I think the general rule of thumb should be if you hire anyone with a middle name in quotation marks that you ought to think how it looks atop a federal indictment. When I saw that, I thought of our own indictment against our very own mayor. But unfortunately, no names appear in quotes -- only Developer A, Developer B and Employee No. 1.
Baltimore saves its best nicknames for what we do best -- drugs. I pulled a sampling from federal indictments filed by the Maryland U.S. Attorney's Office. In the past few years, we've had Shelly "Weazy" Martin; Shelton "Little Rock" or "Hard Rock" Harris; and James Roger "Buck Shade" Shade; and Kevin "Red Eyes" Gary.
Other fun nicknames: Shirtman, Turk, Tee Tee, Big Will and Meat Ball.
I'd love to hear favorites from attorneys and prosecutors. I know there are better ones out there. I found a Web site that lists the best nicknames of the Mob. My personal favorite: Stephen "The Rifleman" Fleming.
Comments
Baltimore had a number of characters, and I wanted my novels (and books for movies) to include many of these guys: Fast-Talkin' Frankie, Tony My Face (was in a fire), Meat Loaf Pertwee and Roly Poly Paulie were very big boys, Bruno's Brother was only called, "Bruno's Brother," Ritchie No Nose (had a very large, veined nose), "Pizza Face" Ralphie Oregano, Larry Big Head, and my all-time favorite, "Pigeon-Face Bobby!"
Posted by: Bubba | April 6, 2009 2:45 PM