One Tree Hill: Welcome to Product Placement! Er, sorry, Puerto Rico!
Nathan, Jamie, Julian, Clay, Chase and Chuck decide to camp out by the River Court to see if they can find evidence of the snipey plover -- if they can, the court could be saved! (Of course, it's also possible if they found the bird, the area would be closed to humans so said bird could live unmolested, but the show doesn't go there.)
Ahem. ANYway. Julian sets up his camera; Clay brings his Barcalounger, cooler full of beer and flamboyant shirt; and Chuck and Jamie discover that some idiot left the keys in the bulldozer. And, as Chekhov said, "If in the first act you have left keys in a bulldozer, then in the following one a disconsolate kid should attempt to drive said bulldozer." (Or something like that.) When Chuck hears that Chase will be leaving for the Air Force, he starts up the bulldozer, which he can't drive so it accidentally destroys everything that Clay loves (bye bye, Barcalounger and Brian Boitano shirt!).
Two good things come of this (well, three, if you really disliked Clay's shirt): Chuck finally admits how much he likes Chase and will miss him, and the bulldozer miraculously uncovers a cache of snipey plover eggs, without crushing them. The River Court is saved! (Unless the scenario posited above comes into play. But we're guessing it won't.)
Read on for Puerto Rico travel tips and more!
Quinn gets an assignment to shoot models on the beaches of Puerto Rico, and she brings Brooke, Alex and Lauren along for the ride. Cue the pictures of luxurious resorts, white sand beaches, adorable old men playing dominoes in the square, cute kids frolicking in fire hydrants, etc. Yes, we really want to go to Puerto Rico now. However, as some of us have BEEN to Puerto Rico, we wonder why they didn't throw in some bits from El Yunque and La Pargeura... come on, folks, if you're going to exploit your show to get a trip, really, do it right!
Ahem. ANYway. Brooke doesn't want anyone to know she's pregnant yet, so she's putting sushi in her purse and throwing tequila shots over her shoulder. Quinn figures it out, and there's much rejoicing. Meanwhile, Miss Lauren gets completely blitzed and ends up taking naughty half-naked pictures of herself, which she texts to ... someone. She doesn't know who, because she drops her phone off the balcony. As Miss Lauren is a teacher, this could come back to bite her -- people have lost their jobs for less!
Mouth and Millie
The Tree Hill morning news is going to be replaced by a morning show, and Millie's next live report can be considered her audition. As she's been doing nothing but angry rants in weird costumes, this is a challenge. Mouth convinces her to do a report from the River Court, which she does -- and then she brings Mouth on-air to finish it off. This should mean she fails her audition -- there was an awful lot of dead air there -- but we're guessing it means they'll both be hosting the new morning show.
Haley has sequestered herself in Brooke's shop and has basically turned it into Karen's Cafe 2.0. We had no idea she had all the contracting skills to install an up-to-code commercial kitchen! Brooke tells her she's preggers and is staying Tree Hill, and it looks like the cafe will be their next business venture.
Highlights, thoughts and odds and ends
Was Clay's shirt really that bad? We kind of liked it.
Quinn's cover shoot involves a four-poster bed set in the surf with a gorgeous, disheveled guy twisted up in the sheets while the model poses in front of it. Later, Quinn replaces the guy with a woman. OK, sure, why not.
Quinn's day-in-the-life shots involve her model (who I'm guessing we're supposed to recognize) playing dominoes with the old men, playing in the fire hydrant with the kids, and, inexplicably, taking the place of a traffic cop and directing traffic while clad in a bikini and the policeman's hat. We can't imagine the traffic flowed smoothly, and we're guessing the guy would have lost his job for that.
We discover at the end of the episode that Lauren accidentally sent her naughty pictures to Chuck. Seriously, that IS the sort of thing teachers lose their job for... and possibly get arrested for.