One Tree Hill: The fastest plot resolution in history
Seriously, Clay, was there ever any doubt that this guy was a total schmuck?
Last week, One Tree Hill gave us some hints that all was not what it seemed with the Kellerman confession and the car crash plot, plus set up a couple of cliffhangers with Brooke and Julian's potential move to New York and the possible fate of the River Court. This week, they pretty much dispensed of all these plots in 2.5 seconds. Um, ok?
The Kellerman Chronicles
Nathan shares his suspicions about Ian's guilt with Clay. So many possibilities! Will they go to the cops? Will they enact an elaborate plot to uncover the truth? Will schemes and machinations be hatched? Or will Clay, Nate and Julian just take Ian on a little road trip to the bridge where the accident occurred, then lecture him a bit, tackle him into the river a couple of times, and punch him once for good measure?
Alas, they chose the last option, which was, to our minds, kind of anticlimactic. Ian fired his agents, and Nate and Clay basically said "good riddance." Then Nate bonded with ex-professor Kellerman -- he confesses that he'd been thinking the Prof. was so Dan-like that he MUST be guilty, while Kellerman admits that he thought Nate was Ian-like and therefore a callow idiot. They share a hearty laugh about the whole misunderstanding, and then Kellerman sails away into the sunset. But first, he shares a few words of wisdom with Nate: Snipey Plover. It's a bird. And we're guessing it's a protected species whose natural habitat is River Court.
Meanwhile, Nate decides he won't be seeing Dan, because he hates to bring us joy. Sigh. (Or, you know, because Dan is evil and irredeemable, which is true, and makes him a horrible father, but also makes him so much fun to watch.
Read on for Brooke's big news and more!
Brooke and Julian's decision
Brulian are all set for the move to NYC, and Julian keeps trying to give a heartfelt speech to the Little League team he helped coach. They don't care. Meanwhile, Brooke is saying her goodbyes and giving Haley the last remaining piece of Karen's cafe. Hey, do you think that might be a plot point in the future?
Then Chase calls Alex because, through a series of improbable events, he used some of her pee to take a urine test for the Air Force (as he'd been forced to take a toke during the Kid Cudi concert MONTHS ago). But the Air Force calls and tells him to retake the test -- there's been a mix-up at the lab. Are you sure? He asks. Well, yeah, they say, unless you think you're pregnant. DUN DUN DUN.
So Chase tells Alex that he wants to stay with her and do the right thing, BUT! Alex tells him that it wasn't her pee! She's accidentally consumed a pot brownie in the recent past, so she borrowed some of Brooke's pee! And you know what that means -- Brooke's pregnant! (And also, the Air Force has some seriously lax drug-testing standards if third-had pee can be submitted.)
So Brooke and Julian are staying in Tree Hill, where they can raise their child without resorting to rooftop playgrounds. Yay!
Mighty Jamie at the Bat
The first Little League game for the Sharks is disastrous -- Clay is too distracted by the promise of a hot date with Quinn to coach much, Chuck is bummed because Chase seems to have stood him up, Madison is afraid of the ball, and Jamie keeps striking out. Then Chase and Alex show up to cheer the team on, so Chuck makes a hit. Madison also gets a hit. It's all down to Jamie, who takes heart after Nate tells him it's only a game, and whatever happens they're getting ice cream. Nate is the anti-Dan! That's all Jamie needed -- he hits a home run, and the team wins.
Highlights, thoughts and odds and ends
Were we alone in feeling like the Kellerman plot got wrapped up ridiculously quickly?
Kellerman explains why he took the fall for Ian: "We're fathers, Nathan. This is what we do for our sons. It just is." We disagree. Strongly. Actually, that sounds like hideously bad parenting to us.
The Clay/Quinn subplot involved Quinn getting a horrific spray tan and turning into an Oompa-Loompa. The less said, the better.
Nate: Why am I bad cop?
Clay: Really? It might be the bar fights, the shouting matches in public, the murderous father...
Are we ever going to get an explanation for Brooke's miraculous pregnancy, or are we just going to go with it?
What did you think? Are you excited for the last two episodes of the season? Talk about it in the comments!