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Presto chango
Big changes start happening for both the Warblers and New Directions. Pavarotti sings his last little song and Blaine realizes that he's got it bad for Kurt (Blast! We thought he was getting inspired by the ensemble to suggest a Johnny Cash number), and entreats the committee to choose a duet for regionals, which he'll sing with Kurt. Really, he just wants to make out with him in the library. Hot.

Meanwhile, Quinn is plotting to remove the Rachel thorn from Finn's side by befriending and distracting her with writing music for regionals. We're a little disappointed that Rachel still isn't getting that music shouldn't be about her specific, unrelatable personal problems (and that she's giving only children a bad rap), but at least she has the sense to figure out what Quinn is doing. And, heinous and shallow though her intentions may be, Quinn kind of has a point. Some people are meant for small-town America and some aren't, and waiting around for your high school crush when you have different goals is foolish and wasteful. So "Scary Quinn" also happens to be wise Quinn in this episode.

Well, what did you expect?
Since there was precious little plot development in this episode, let's talk about the music. In the already-been-produced area, Kurt's "Blackbird" was lovely and simple. It would have been great to have Puck or Sam around to bypass a cassette tape instrumental, but we can see why Blaine would start falling for Kurt with this song. Their duet at regionals was cute, but it didn't blow us away. We were much more pleased with "Raise Your Glass." There is something deliciously perverse about prep school boys in blazers singing about being "dirty little freaks." Plus, Blaine got to bounce around in awesome Blaine form and made us forgive him for being the constant center of attention.

Call us haters, nay-sayers, what you will, but we weren't as impressed with the Gleeks' original stuff, with maybe one exception...

Naturally, the first few attempts were comic relief and personal foils, particularly "Trouty Mouth," which just made us wish we could go back to making fun of Sam's nerd traits and Bieber hair. "Hell To The No" was far more amusing, partially because it was actually a decent song and also because we never knew one could write more than one verse about a catch phrase. Also, the Wheaties/diabetes rhyme was nothing short of awe-inspiring.

Time for the Barbra moment
Rachel's final draft at regionals was very...Rachel-y. Yes, it sounded great and yes, Rach sang the hell out of it, but we didn't find it particularly memorable like "Don't Rain On My Parade" was. Also, we couldn't stop wincing at how atrociously uncomfortable those dresses looked, though we award bonus points for the Doc Martens.

"Loser Like Me," while essentially being the show's celebration of itself, was much more fun. It popped more, and if we knew the lyrics we probably would have been singing along. That line about getting you back when I'm your boss was hysterical, cathartic, and often true in real life (not about the boss thing, but the more successful thing. At least that's what we keep telling ourselves). But where the Gleeks exhausted themselves on song development, they fell apart in choreography. And you can't possibly expect us to believe Brittany contributed to verse writing -- that girl should have been given the corner to work out some badass steps.

Whatever the drawbacks of writing original music, it seemed to work out this time and New Directions finally took first at something. New York, here we come.

What did you guys think? Did you like the original music? Do you like Kurt and Blaine together? Is Quinn right about Rachel? Were you equally incensed by that ridiculous "sweat lodge" Holly absence cover-up? To the comments!

Notes n' Quotes

Kurt: Sometimes I feel like we're not the Warblers. Sometimes I feel like we're Blaine and the Pips.

Rachel: I'm perfectly capable of accessing my pain, I cry every time I sing a solo.

Quinn: How damaged does a guy have to be to be into someone as annoying as Rachel?

Warbler: This is a kangaroo court!

Sue: Well, well. If it isn't Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Fake Boobs.

Blaine: I think Pavarotti would roll over in his tiny, tiny little grave.

Finn: Whoa! Scary Quinn!

Kurt: I'm impressed! You're usually so Top 40.

Schue: What's your favorite song of all time?
Brittany: "My Headband"
Puck: Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On."
Zizes: Puckerman, you're on a roll.

Mercedes: What are you doing??
Sue: Throwing sticks at your head. I'm going to crush you at regionals.

Sue: The drummer I slept with was that guy from Jimmy Eat World.
(Awwww, remember Jimmy Eat World?)

Tammy Jean: Before we start, I would like to say I am not a witch.

Sister Mary Constance: The convent was the only place I knew I could stay off the pole.

Sister Mary Constance: Is that Dalton school a gay school or does it just appear gay?

Tammy Jean: I didn't go around singing that I was a loser. I twittered that Obama was a terrorist.
Sister Mary Constance: Oh no, you di'nt!
Tammy Jean: I had to. It's true.

WASPy presenter: My husband is verbally abusive and I have been drinking since noon.

Blaine: It reminds you of your mom's funeral, doesn't it?
Kurt: The casket was bigger.

Final Thoughts

• What does that Cease and Desist order from My Chemical Romance remind you of? This episode is so meta. Also, Sue would never sleep with one of those emo kids. We guess Jimmy Eat World is more believable.
• Do we think Ryan Murphy opted for original music because so many critics of Glee referred to it as "glorified karaoke"? Just a thought.
• Putting Brittany in street clothes is one of the best decisions this show ever made.
• Loretta Devine was so amazing, she put Kathy Griffin to shame. But then, we guess it's not Griffin's fault that Devine got a better role.
• Rachel finally delivered a tearful speech that didn't make us want to punch her in the face. Adorably well done.