90210: Javianna....There's no need to alter that title because it's already hilarious
Love is in the air, 90210 fans. Some of our West Bev denizens are going way over the top to please the one they pine for, but others could use a little work. Or a lot of work. While still others need to just settle down and take a Valium or something.
We're talking to you, Navid.
Javianna and Navid
First of all, how hysterical is "Javianna"? Only in L.A. Second of all, Navid, you need to simmer down. You've got more emotions bubbling to the surface than a 12-year-old girl who just won tickets to a Justin Bieber concert. If you ever do manage to get Adrianna's attention, you're going to scare the living crap out of her. Did you see the look on Dixon's face when you waxed creepy about Javier? You've already scared him a little.
This also brings us to a new segment we'd like to call What The Token Male In The Room Has To Say, which is actually an endless source of amusement while watching a show such as 90210. After Navid gets intercepted by Javier's we-hope-not-compensatory limo, we realize Navid's brought another bouquet. AGAIN. Which led one blogger's husband to throw up his hands in exasperation and say, "How much does this guy spend on flowers???" Tune in next week for more male-induced confusion.
In any case, Navid's second overly-elaborate plan also catastrophically failed when he got trumped by a private jet to New York. Hey Navid, the English language has been known to work from time to time, too. Give it a go, you might find you like it.
More relationships on the rocks after the jump!
Ivy and Dixon
Well, our faith in Ivy as the coolest girl ever faltered a little when she flipped out on Dixon. After Dixon starts selling his stuff to get some money for a trip to Australia with Ivy and Laurel, Ivy seems to think this means a minivan and little league games are in the works. Dixon gets understandably pissed when Ivy un-invites him to Australia and the two break up for about an hour. Luckily, Laurel talks some sense into Ivy and she makes it up with Dixon, thereby going back up a little in our estimation. We're fickle, Ivy. Don't mess with our adoration again.
Of course, this is also a vehicle to show just how messed up Debbie and Harry are. Debbie wants Dixon to go to Australia, while Harry thinks he doesn't deserve it, given the gambling and school break-in of which Debbie is still unaware. (By the way, stop calling Australia an opportunity. It's not like Dix is going to get a job down there. Call it an experience, or life experience if you want to make it sound so damn important). When Harry calls out Dixon for asking for a trip he doesn't really deserve, Debbie overhears the situation. Disagreements about the kids and secrets? Tsk, tsk, Harry.
Naomi and Liannie
This episode made us appreciate couples name conjunctions, so we thought we'd make one of our own, especially since that's where this situation seems to be heading. After Jen takes away Naomi's creature comforts, Naomi goes off the self-pitying deep end. Liam finally sets her straight about her selfish behavior, which we love. However, we're not so pleased with his parting line, "Whatever, Naomi." Ouch.
Naomi takes the hint and says she'll start being there for Liam, only to turn around and not be there for Liam. If Naomi were smarter, we'd think she was a modern day Hamlet, so driven by revenge that she neglects her Ophelia, finally driving her insane (or, you know, to Annie). Shock, shock, horror, Liam turns to Annie as a shoulder to cry on. What about your guy friends, Liam? They were there for the whole Jen disaster, they'll be there for you again.
Teddy and Silver
Teddy and Silver get intimate for the first time, and it looks like they had a lot of fun. But their late-night shenanigans negatively affect Teddy's tennis game, and he loses the biggest match of his young career. Feeling guilty about Teddy's loss, Silver commits relationship hara-kiri and breaks up with him right on the court. This was of course spurred by a visit from Mr. Monty, who offered to pay off Silver to hit the road. Classy.
This leads to Silver and Dixon hanging out at a party that night, minutes after the Ivy disaster, both single. And guess what, there's vodka! And guess what else, there's a broom closet! However, after a little bit of drunken making out, nothing really happens and the two emerge to no real scandal. Only time will tell if this little slip-up will resurface. On this show, it's pretty likely.
Tune in next week for more ridiculous relationship patterns and revenge run amok!
Notes and Quotes
Navid: Stupid pop culture cancer, that's what I'm talking about.
Teddy: Step 3: Cut a single. Become an overnight teen heartthrob.
How satisfying was it to watch Naomi putt around town in that beater car and get her credit cards cut up? It's like chocolate ice cream. We feel a little guilty, but it tastes so good.
Jasper's back! We're giddy with excitement about what creepy tricks he has up his sleeve. And good girl, Annie, for acting like an adult. We're sure it will bite you in the ass, but we're proud anyway.
Naomi: I'm poor, Liam. What is there to live for?
Naomi: Poor people tend to be honorable.
Navid: Dude, I KNEW it! You GO girl!
Dixon: You just let on that have feelings for Javier. And his washboard abs.
Naomi: Omigod, stop kissing or I might take a picture and send it to Perez!
Why did Annie save that confession letter? It was two sentences. You can probably write it again, if pressed.
JEN IS PREGNANT?? This fits in PERFECTLY with Supernatural's apocalypse plot!