America's Next Top Model: Welcome to the Fiercees!
We loved the photo shoot this week on America's Next Top Model, because it combined some of our favorite things about award shows -- gorgeous dresses and the potential for public humiliation. Come on, you know that's why you watch, too!
But first it was time for the obligatory model trash-talk. The models discussed AnaLeigh, and came to the conclusion that she was pretty, but didn't really look like a model. No one thought she'd be competition. Then there's Lauren Brie -- a vocal minority (ahem, Sheena) thought that her gorgeous looks didn't make up for her lack of individuality. "Her personality is like her hair," Sheena says. " It's translucent." Again, ouch.
Speaking of ouch... the girls meet up with Tyra to try to work on a signature pose. All the models have one, Tyra says. With Giselle, it's her back, while Tyra herself is all about the eyes. Now its the models turn to figure out why they'll be known for. Some of them apparently think they should be known for looking like they just got mangled in some kind of industrial accident. We understand not wanting to look catalog-y, but do they really have to twist and turn their limbs so horribly?
Some of the girls got better signatures than others. It makes sense to us the McKey focus on her gorgeous neck, but what is AnaLeigh supposed to do to be a "rebel skater"? How was Sheena supposed to interpret "cultural dance"? And did Joslyn really say that she wanted her signature pose to be "kind of white"?
We thought that Sam had the hardest time of it -- she wanted her signature to be her hands, but she was way too thinky about it. Initially, we were horrified with Marjorie's decision to channel the Hunchback of Notre Dame (if only because it meant the producers would bring on the damn accordion music again), and her initial shots looked truly horrifying -- like she actually did have a deformed spine. But we have to admit that, with Tyra's coaching, Marjorie made the awkward, splayed and twisted poses work for her. How does she do that?
Then we came to the photo shoot, which portrayed the girls in different horrible or embarrassing situations at the Sourcies Feircees. Is it just us, or did they deliberately give some girls situations that really played to their strengths, while others got stuck in scenarios that deliberately put them at a disadvantage? Come on -- Marjorie had just worked on how to pose like a contortionist without looking grotesque, which served her well in the starlet-desperate-to-pee shot. Elina, on the other hand, was cast as the over-emotional crier, and she's always had problems expressing vulnerability. But AnaLeigh faced the same sort of problem -- everyone kept saying she was too nice and pretty, but she managed to convey bored and bitchy, while still looking model-y, in her interviewed-with-attitude shot. Maybe Elina just didn't step up to the challenge.
In the end, we agreed with the judges that Marjorie and AnaLeigh had great shots, and we were glad they came in at one and two. We thought McKey's also-ran shot was gorgeous, but lacking the clenched-jaw element of holding back a scream -- or tears -- that we would have expected. Elina looked gorgeous but not teary-eyed, and we can't help but think that's because of the shot they chose --- there MUST have been a shot of her crying real tears! We liked Joslyn's picture better than the judges did, and Sam just doesn't do it for us anymore -- her accent bugged, and her picture was more about the lighting than the girl.
Sheena and Lauren Brie were in the bottom two, and Tyra decides that Lauren Brie really is colorless, like her hair. Lauren Brie tries to defend herself -- I have friends! They like me! -- but the judges have spoken. Goodbye, Lauren Brie. We can't imagine you'd have much trouble breaking into the modeling world on your own. Good luck!