The funny bone: Dog (and cat) jokes
We're starting a new category today -- (if you haven't checked out our handy categories, they're down in the rail to the right) -- and we're calling it "The Funny Bone."
Usually, when we say we, I mean me, or Ace and me, but this time I mean we as in me and you, dear blog reader.
The Funny Bone will be where we store our dog jokes (and cat ones, too), but I'm thinking it could be more than that -- it could be a cooperative effort in which we gather jokes, pick the best ones, put them in a book and market it, with proceeds going to a worthy animal cause.
Send your nominees to me -- either through comments posted here, or an email (mutts@baltsun.com). I'll post the best jokes on the blog. When we get up to 100 or so we'll make our book. Maybe we could find a philanthropic printer. Maybe we could find an illustrator. Maybe we could find someone to distribute it to pet shops. Maybe we could find someone to do any math that will be involved.
If you have any skills you'd like to lend (for free) to the project, let me know. Meantime, send in those dog jokes. I'll get us started with this one:
John went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather in a secluded mountain area of West Virginia (West Virginians, feel free to insert Kentucky; Kentuckians, feel free to insert Tennessee; etc.)
After spending the evening chatting, the two rose early and John's grandfather prepared a breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, as it was about to be dished out, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and asked his grandfather, "Are these plates clean?"
His grandfather replied, "They're as clean as cold water can get them. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!"
For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks that looked like dried egg around the edge. Again he asked, "Are you sure these plates are clean?"
Without looking up the old man said, "I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret. I don't want to hear another word about it!"
Later that afternoon, as John headed to his car to leave, his grandfather's hound dog trotted from his doghouse, stood in front of John and started to growl. John yelled to his grandfather inside the house: "Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car".
The old man got up from his easy chair and shuffled out to the front porch, the torn screen door slamming behind him.
"COLDWATER!" he yelled. "GO LAY DOWN!"
