"It can never be bad to have a foundation as a man – a black man – in a time when women are dying for men. Women have started to become lovers of each other as a result of not having enough men. Are you not studying the stories? Wake up! Black love is a good thing."
-- Usher, in the July edition of Vibe.
Right? Wrong? Misguided? So true it hurts? Feel free to discuss. I'm gonna keep mum for now.
After yesterday's post on making the move, I figured this comic was appropriate:
(From xkcd.com)
... several times I noticed that the boys stood on one side of the floor while the girls stood on the other. I don't think they once intermingled enough to dance with each other.
I looked at one of my girlfriends that were there and said, "Look at them! Were we ever like that?"
Her answer "NO!"
I've been trying to remember back to the dark ages when I was their age and wondered if we were like that. Scared to interact and dance with one another. Too shy to really get too close to the opposite sex.
Ah, high school. I honestly don't remember being 16 and afraid to dance with boys, either. Dancing was fun! And I'm actually a little surprised that the youngin's at her party were afraid to dance with each other. I thought teens these days weren't shy about booty dancing and such. (My theory: They were shy about doing it in front of adults.) That's one of the lessons we learned in high school, after one of my friends was dancing a bit too provocatively and was ushered off the dance floor by her father: Don't let them know you know too much.
There were other more valuable romantic lessons learned in high school:
I'm headed to central Virginia for a day, gonna go back to my rural hometown, spend some time with my lovely mother and grandmother, both of whom are full of absolutely fabulous relationship advice every time I come home. (My mother just usually keeps it to herself.)
Last time I went home, we had a wonderful conversation about marriage, in which my grandmother declared that many marriages are failing because women don't know how to let the man lead, the way God intended. (Just guess where I stood on that issue.) And we already know how my mother feels on the subject.
I will be mostly Internet free -- no wifi hot spots in ruralia -- though I will be able to check my e-mail, thanks to Baby. So, if you'd like to get Granny's perspective on anything relationship-related, holler my way. If there's some nibbles, I'll post them when I get back tomorrow evening.
(Photo by LiLGoldWmn at stock.xchng)
Boyfriend and I were at dinner at b Friday night. We were seated at one of the little two-person tables, and through the course of the meal, a couple was seated on either side of us. BOTH couples had a conversation about weddings!
Bear with me, I'm going to start the work week by clearing out my mental junk drawer.
+ BF blogger ISO help. I'm seeking eager participants for a few projects:
People willing to be profiled for Meet Me Monday (women, especially).
Four volunteers for online dating. We'll try a bunch of sites, see what the success rate is. I'm looking for two women, two men, all sexualities welcome and wanted.
If you think you or someone you know is good for any of these, e-mail me.
+ Need advice? I'm trying to start a weekly advice post. I have the experts, I just need the questions. If you have any questions about dating or relationship matters, send me an e-mail.
+ On commenting. When you leave a comment, please leave a name (psuedonym, alias, screen name, nickname, whatever you like) and an e-mail. No-name comments just appear sketchy and if you don't leave an e-mail, I have one less way of determining if you're spam. E-mail addresses are not published with comments, so you don't have to worry about it being published for all to see (and access).
Thanks for listening. :)
My friend Erin and I had a bit of back-and-forth over the movie after seeing it yesterday. I'd started to think that Mary was right -- we're a bunch of cynical broads. Baltamour reader R seems to agree:I did awww over the Miranda and Steve reunion, but there wasn't enough substance to really touch me to the point of crying. I've been through heartache before, and I love a good love story, but I'll say what I said yesterday. There was no love -- or at very least, not enough.Yea, I think you're a little out of touch. I saw it with my boyfriend and kept tearing up, particularly when Miranda and Steve reunited on the bridge, and when Carrie read Big's love letter e-mail. I guess it's easy to relate to the women if you've gone through heart ache as well.
I saw The Movie today. I dragged a few of my girlfriends with me; all of us were a bit reluctant, but we trudged on. I tried to get some guys to come, but even the prospect of a movie theater with a full bar couldn't sway them. Wimps, I say!
I'm going to go see Sex and the City tomorrow. However, I'm trying my darndest not to make a big girlie outing of it. Like mimi, I'm planning the reality check outing.
The New York Daily News published a story Friday about a man who loves cars.For instance, a couple of weeks ago, I was standing in line at Chipotle (no, they're not paying me for product placement, but maybe they should -- in burritos) and I noticed the guy behind me had one of my favorite books in his hand. So I blurted out, "Hey, great book!" And the guy gives me an "are you seriously hitting on me with that line" look. I turned back to my burrito in shame.Personal interaction is so hard sometimes. Sometimes you really are interested in their book or their shoes or their magazine, not them. Anyhoo, she's taking calls for other book-related slip-ups. Surely she's not the only one -- go share your stories over there and enjoy the book-themed love song.
I received some more environmentally friendly tips from BaltAmour reader dirtdigger2006, who claims some expertise in the subject (rumor is she's studying to be an environmental engineer):
+ Candles serve a double purpose. "Use candles to create a mood, but also to save energy," she writes. "There are lots of candles made out of more earth-friendly products such as soy or beeswax."
+ Use earth-friendly condoms. She points to Birds 'n Bees vegan and cruelty-free condoms (shown at left). I'm still not completely sure how a condom CANNOT be vegan or cruelty free, though this site claims to examine how a variety of "green" condoms measure up.
+ Alternative massages. "Instead of buying massage oils, you can create skin-healthy, natural products from things in your kitchen," she says. Just throw together some nice smelling herbs, some corn or safflower oil and some essential oils. From my cursory research, here are some examples: "Naturally Native Massage Oil" from Massage Magazine, and a list of massage oil recipes from Glenbrook Farms Herbs n Such in Florida.
+ Natural 'Bed Toys.' "Some 'bed toys' are made from plastics which contain toxins or PVC which in the past have been found to cause irritations and release hormone-disrupting chemicals," dirtdigger writes. "The natural products are said to be safer in those aspects." Grist's green love article mentions this in passing, but here's a link to another article that talks in depth about good sex toys.
According to Reuters (via the Sun -- in London), a man in East London put together the perfect plan for proposing to his girlfriend: Put the ring in a helium balloon and then "pop" the question.Um, what?! Dude, if your girl is upset because you lost a ring YOU PAID FOR by accident, maybe she isn't the one. Maybe she was joking, but you don't joke about losing a $12,000 ring."I thought I would give Leanne a pin so I could literally pop the question," he said. "But I had to tell her the story -- she went absolutely mad. Now she is refusing to speak to me until I get her a new ring."
I went to the dentist Wednesday for my six month check-up, a process I usually don't dread b/c my dentist and dental hygienist are awesome. Here's a bit from our conversation:
On men doing housework: When I'm doing video-editing, I'm mostly focused on that, but when I do my share, when I do the dishes or something, my wife is a lot more loving. She'll come up to me and be like, "Did I tell you I love you today?" I don't think she even realizes it.
On my blog: So, is your boyfriend scared of being on your blog? Is he always on good behavior because he's afraid you'll put him on blast on the blog if he messes up?
Comment from Boyfriend later: "That's a good point. I hadn't thought of that."
On mangagament rings: Yeah, that's a good idea! And men should get 20th anniversary and 25th anniversary rings too. (My dentist also dug the idea too. I think they were bigger fans of the name.)
If you do more housework (or really, your share of the housework), you will get more lovin'.
Honest! That's what this article says a new study suggests. And they've got a doc to back it up:
Joshua Coleman, a San Francisco-area psychologist and author of The Lazy Husband: How to Get Men to Do More Parenting and Housework, said equitable sharing of housework can lead to a happier marriage and more frequent sex.See? Gender equality CAN be a win-win situation! :)"If a guy does housework, it looks to the women like he really cares about her -- he's not treating her like a servant," said Coleman, who is affiliated with the Council on Contemporary Families. "And if a women feels stressed out because the house is a mess and the guy's sitting on the couch while she's vacuuming, that's not going to put her in the mood."
