I read your blog quite often and even though it doesn't really fall into the recent categories, though this might be of interest to you. Everyone who has passed it on to me thought it was great. The Dating Persona Test one is pretty good.

Continue reading "A bit of Friday fun" »

Posted by Maryann James at 10:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
                    

Everyone makes fun of them, nobody admits to using them, but everyone has: pet names.

I will readily volunteer the five billion pet names for my cat Haiku -- Boo Boo, Haikuamaphone, the Ku-ster, Ku-Ku-Kachoo -- but ask me if I use pet names for S.O.? Just as with other things, I will deny, deny, deny.

However, there is something surreptitiously fun about it -- it's your own little inside joke (because your friends would never let you hear the end of it if they heard it) and it's playful. As adults, very rarely do we get the chance to be silly and goofy.

Don't have a pet name? Here's two pet name generators: One is "Mushy Names" under the "Fun Names" generator, the other you just insert a name, click a gender and go.

And don't worry, if someone catches you trying out your new pet name -- On your boo, on your plant, on your cat, on your car -- you can just say you were being ironic.

Posted by Maryann James at 10:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)
                    

My roommate says that when you're dating a girl, you have to start out on the right foot with her friends, so when and if you hit a rough patch with your boo, the friends won't immediately jump on the "dump him" bandwagon. Because women can be harsh.

It is a generalization -- men can be just as bad, too -- but it's true. Oftentimes, it's deserved. Case in point: My friend forwarded me an e-mail, titled "Online Dating Story," that was forwarded to her from a friend who had it forwarded to her, etc.

Here's the gist of the story: Woman winks at man on match.com. Man e-mails woman, talks about how he graduated from an Ivy League school, went to a hoity toity business school, lives in a swanky section of town, works out all the time, and works for a fairly big company ("Enjoy any of our stores/divisions?" he asks). Woman politely declines through the match.com service ("Thanks for writing to me, but unfortunately, we're just not a good match. Good luck in your search!") Then it gets ugly. Man responds:

I think you forgot how this works.  You hit on me, and therefore have to
impress ME and pass MY criteria and standards - not vice versa.  6 pictures
of just your head and your inability to answer a simple question lets me
know one thing.  You are not in shape.  I am a trainer on the side, in fact,
I am heading to the gym in 26 minutes!

So next time you meet a guy of my caliber, instead of trying to turn it
around, just get to the gym!  I will even give you one free training
session, so you don't blow it with the next 8.9 on Hot or Not, Ivy League
grad, Mensa member, can bench/squat/leg press over 1200 lbs., has had lunch
with the secretary of defense, has an MBA from the top school in the
country, lives in a [posh neighborhood] high rise, drives a Beemer convertible, has
been in 14 major motion pictures, was in Jezebel's Best dressed, etc.  Oh,
that is right, there aren't any more of those!

I think this is hilarious. I love that he knows, to the minute, when he's going to the gym. (He also left a link to his Web site at the bottom of the e-mail. His credentials include working as a "runway model" and "costumed character," it states.)

Now, fellas, I know that most of y'all are not like this guy. But just in case you've thought about taking this approach, just be aware: if you do, you will not get the girl AND she will forward your ill-advised comments to all of her friends, who will forward it to all of their friends, eventually ending up in the hands of a relationship blogger such as myself. And they may not be nice enough to hide your identity.

Posted by Maryann James at 8:15 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)
                    

I have my moments, but for the most part, I'm not a really girly girl.

However, I do have a soft spot for cheesy romances. I roll my eyes during most of such movies, but it's usually just to hide my secret love for them. I used to get irritated at an ex of mine who would make gagging noises and other more obvious signs of distaste during romantic movies. You don't disrespect the romantic movie.

Very few movies are like real life, but none more so than romances. But sometimes, you just need to escape in the fantasy world of a movie like Sleepless in Seattle -- bonus points cos Meg Ryan works for The Sun! -- or Dirty Dancing or Shakespeare in Love.

When I'm really in the mood, I'll sit down and watch Pride and Prejudice (the good one with Colin Firth). Nothing compares to 300 minutes of British accents, misunderstandings, hauntiness and NO KISSING until the last five minutes. It's not cheesy, but it's still great for a romantic movie marathon.

However, if you see me on the street and ask me if I like romantic movies, I will deny, deny, deny. Even if you have video of me watching one and obviously enjoying it. This'll be our little secret, OK? 

What are your favorite romantic movies (cheesy or not)?

Posted by Maryann James at 1:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)
                    

In between girlfriends? Well then, this is for you:

Photo courtesy of Collections, etc.

It's a girlfriend pillow. And it vibrates. I have no other words for this (other than creepy), but I imagine it can be great for those cold and lonely nights on the couch.

Go ahead and buy it. I won't tell anyone.

Posted by Maryann James at 11:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
                    

I've been running around all day, but I can't neglect you my dear readers.

So here's a link to get you through the last few hours before the weekend:

It's a game sponsored by AOL (you remember them?), where you go on a "virtual date" -- you pick the venue and your date, and then you gain points or lose them, based on your choices for questions or answers for your date.

Have fun. And have a good weekend!

Posted by Maryann James at 1:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
                    

It's totally funny and it's totally cruel: I Can't Believe He's Still Single.

I found this site a couple of days ago, and even though the blogger has slowed down on her postings, it's still freaking hilarious. She culls the dating Web sites, and posts the creepiest, weirdest, most awkward postings online.

She totally and completely embraces schadenfreude. Any time you're depressed about the slim pickings for S.O. material or bemoaning that your current S.O. doesn't call you anymore, just steer over to this site.

You should go just to read the post that goes with this picture, then stay for the rest.

For example, in another post:

I am NOT a Nice guy,

I wont buy you flowers and Crap..I might ask y ou how your Day went ? and I might conversate with you and flirt a Little , ...

Just makes your heart melt, right? (I personally love that he wrote conversate. It's not a real word. Perhaps he needs to read You Don't Say.)

And you can appease your guilt at laughing at these pour souls with the knowledge that I Can't Believe also has a guide to writing a good online ad.

Photo courtesy of I Can't Believe He's Not Single.

Posted by Maryann James at 11:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
                    

Chemistry (you know, the dating site?) has a dating blog where a cheesy married couple, cool Dan Savage, a savvy anthropologist and a "modesty maverick" exchange views on dating and relationships.

It's good fun, if only to roll your eyes at Greg and Amiira Behrendt (I have a bias against couples who dish out relationship advice, with few exceptions) and cheer at columnist Dan Savage's advice.

Posted by Maryann James at 11:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
                    

I wonder if I'll see you this Tea time. I bet you will ignore me like you did all my texts. I'll ignore you too - but, I'll know you're there. I need to save some face. I heard you have a girl now and that you are even living together. I'm happy for you. I hope she doesn't [expletive] up like I did. You deserve a good girl. Just know that no other girl has ever made me think "What if" or kissed me the way you kissed. I doubt you will read this but if you do...
Howe I miss you.

And here's one titled, "In the Awkward Aisle at IKEA Friday Night":

We ran into each other again, this time at IKEA. Too awkward, as we were both with other people. Last time it was in the Metro station. How many times do we have to drop into each other's laps before you ask me for coffee/lunch? Don't be shy; I'll say yes.

Missed connections is an interesting cross-section of love and life in Baltimore. But I'm curious: Does it ever work? 

Posted by Maryann James at 11:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
                    

This week's guilty pleasure is related to Wednesday's excursion: cruising the self-help section of the bookstore. And since this is a practice, and not a link, I'll make this week's guilty pleasure a how-to. You're bored on a Sunday? Here's what to do.

For this to work, you have to go with a friend -- for deniability -- and this can only be pulled off when nobody else is in the section.

With friend in tow and the coast clear, plop yourself down into the self-help section and let your fingers do the walking. Cruising the titles is great fun (one of my favorites from Wednesday: Why Men Don't Have a Clue and Women Always Need Shoes) but the don't judge a book just by its cover. Delve inside! There are tons of tips and ideas on the pages (see: chapters on hygiene) that will give you at least a good 15 minutes (depending on the size of the section) of enjoyment.

Now, this is not to say that the self-help/romance section is worthless. You may stumble upon some good books, too. But like every section of the store, there are five billion bad books for every good one. And the topic of romance and dating just ups the stakes for hilarity.

Try it out this weekend. Maybe you and your friend will bump into a cutie and their friend seeking out to do the same thing. 

Posted by Maryann James at 1:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
                    

I was originally going to post this last week as part of the rock of love conversation, but some wires got crossed. Better late than never, eh?

You can't talk about celebrity crushes without talking about the laminated list:

A laminated list, sometimes called a freebie list, is a short list of celebrities agreed on by a couple as so attractive to one partner that he or she has standing permission to sleep with any of them if the opportunity, however unlikely, ever arises. The idea was popularized by the TV series Friends, and has since become a larger trend ...

I know, I got it from Friends (speaking of guilty pleasures). But it's a fun conversation starter. And sometimes, if you're not careful, the list can be a source of contention. It's all fun and games until somebody gets a little too excited about their No. 1 celebrity lover.

I also love the hubris that comes with the laminated list -- in real life, even if you were to run into, say Angelina Jolie (yes, she's on my list) or Brad Pitt (he's been on my list since 10th grade), what are the odds that they would want to sleep with you? It's fun to talk about the laminated list as if it's some magical golden ticket that gets you passage anywhere.

Who's on your list? 

Posted by Maryann James at 7:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)
                    

August is a great month for vacation, for no other reason than that it's too hot to do anything else. Apart from complaining about how hot it is, the summer is also a good time to people-watch. It's not just for old people and mall-walkers. If you're not gawking at the clothes -- I saw a woman walking at the Inner Harbor Wednesday with short shorts and a sheer, black, multi-layered strapless shirt with gold medallion thingies hanging off of each layer -- you can surely find some gems in the conversation of passersby.

Ever since I started writing this dating blog, I've been trying to sneak snatches of people's conversations as I walk around the city, though I've still got a long way to go before I get my Secret Surveillance merit badge. It's hard to nonchalantly walk close enough behind someone to hear their conversation but far enough to not arouse their suspicion. (Speak up Baltimore!)

I didn't overhear anything juicy this week, so, in lieu of a Baltimore dating gem, I'll leave you with one from New York:

Guy: Hey, I'm lookin' for a book.
Lady behind the counter: Um, okay. Did you have any particular one in mind?
Guy, laughing: No. Hell no. I don't [expletive] read. I'm just lookin' for something I can take over to Central Park so I can get hit on by chicks who think I'm smart and [expletive].
Lady behind counter: Try Nietzsche.

Watch out for boys "reading" Nietzsche in the park, ladies. Especially ones who curse like sailors.

And Baltimore, keep your ears open this weekend. If you overhear anything funny -- Pick-up lines, one-liners, etc. -- send them my way.

Posted by Maryann James at 7:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
                    

Posted by Maryann James at 11:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
                    

I don't watch a lot of TV, but I get hooked on all sorts of shows when I'm sick, my mom is sick and I'm taking care of her, or when we're just in the same house together. My mom keeps TV on for noise, but I can't help but watch it. A lot of the shows -- Matlock and Murder She Wrote (shut up, watching old people dressed in '80s clothes solving mysteries is addictive), Lifetime movies (every movie is the a variation on a theme -- my husband/boyfriend/fiance cheated on me/beats me/molests our daughter who got pregnant/was date-raped/was kidnapped and sold into white slavery), the fifty bajillion forensics series -- fall by the wayside. But there's a few I catch that end up being put into the DVR rotation.

And some of them I tell myself are OK because I'm watching them for "research":

+ Bridezillas. I've only watched a few of these, but it is so fascinating to see brides (and family members) freak out when they're planning for what is supposed to be one of the nicest, most loving days of their lives. Bridezillas is what happens when you put way too much expectation (and money) into one day. It reminds me of My Super Sweet 16, but with "adults."

+ Whose Wedding Is It Anyway? A kinder, gentler version of the wedding reality show, though they have their fair share of Bridezillas, too (the episode where the woman pitched a hissy fit because they couldn't get a "blood fountain" -- I think it was going to be fruit punch -- for their goth wedding is priceless). And the extravagance! I am not in any rush to get married, but whenever I watch that show, I want to do it just so I can throw a big party. Watching the dynamics between the bride and groom (hint: the bride usually gets what she wants) is also usually good TV.

+ Confessions of a Matchmaker. This show about a matchmaker in Buffalo, N.Y., is fairly new, but probably would be the most valid source for real dating blog research: There was a guy on the show last week who started to recite poetry in which he said he wanted to make love to his date in mayonnaise. Don't do that. Another one recited his laundry schedule (whites every day, towels on Saturday...). Don't do that either. A lady who had a mile-long list of things she wanted in a mate took a good idea (writing down a list to visualize what you want) and took it way into left field (she typed it, included criteria such as, "Dresses accordingly ["denim IS NOT dress clothes and a sweatshirt is not something special you put on to see me"] and carried it everywhere, in her purse).

Like most reality shows, all of these shows are pleasing on the level of "I'm not as crazy as that person," but they also usually have a warm and fuzzy payoff at the end: You may talk about your laundry day on your first date, but your honesty makes you endearing to the party mom, thus ending in a potential love match. For every woman who kirks out over the wrong shade of napkins for her reception, there's another couple who has survived through adversity to get to a moment where they can declare their love for each other.

Posted by Maryann James at 12:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
                    

While you're slacking off on the last day of the week, here's something funny to read:

http://www.ilikedyourprofile.blogspot.com/

I came across it when I was doing, um, ..., dating blog "research."

The "I liked your profile" blog isn't updated often, but it's hilarious. Basically, a collection of bizarre dating emails that people that people have sent and received.

My favorite entry is long, but totally worth it. It's from Dec. 9 and titled "Anonymous, The Rappers, and The Drug Guy."

Check it out while you're watching the clock today.

Posted by Anica Butler at 8:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)