Aside from the 30-something point, why are the attacks all on WOMEN?

At 31, I'm happier single than my friends that got married at 25 and are now divorced, miserable, or both :)

It bothers me that this attack is BY a woman. She is so desperate for the attention that being read brings that she's sold out her own. There is true misery in that behavior.

Oh, you silly spinsters, enjoy being sad and lonely while I will be an enviable bachelor, free and successful.

Double standards, drink it in ladies. :)

My roommate and I have each dated a couple of women in their early thirties over the past few years (we're both 29) and a variation of "where do you see this relationship going" question has popped up pretty early in the relationship, with the implications of taking the relationship to the "premanent status" level.

The response (by me anyway) has been "I'm pretty happy with where we are now, lets see how we progress as we continue to get to know each other. The general response by the thirty-something Lass' has been erratic, possessive behaviour that ultimately leads to the ending of the relationship (and a sigh of relief!)

I'm not saying that every girl who turns 30 all of a sudden hates being single, and wants to tie the knot, but I have witnessed at least 3 cases of this first-hand.

I will add that I do agree with Carey that I know a number of people who settled "too young" and are not only splitting, but regret missing out on their early 20's single and meeting people.

I guess its more about finding a balance and partnership with someone who is at the same place as you, and with the same interests, expectations and goals.

I dunno, I've heard of men getting as much abuse by family and friends about their bachelorhood past a given age. Might the barrage on women owe more to the fairer sex's childbearing ability versus a man's "donor" ability, with all the homespun stereotypes that go along with that (gender roles, nuclear family, etc.)?

I guess, after all, for folks that have determined that they do not want kids, it doesn't really matter what age they marry - they can be happy being in and out of relationships when single and in a happy committed marriage at whatever the age.

At 40 and single, it never occurs to me to wish I were married or otherwise paired off. I just wish I had more single friends (or, heck, even married friends without small children), so it would be easier to find someone to do things with, especially on short notice. But I'm happy to be in charge of my own schedule and to be greeted only by wagging tails when I get home at night.

Frankly it's because women talk about it more. Women are more likely to get bad relationship advice...because they ask for and take more then men. (YES this is all a generalization). Look at womens magazines and then mens...Men's normally have...

Get Rock Hard Abs
Satisfy her in bed
Insert sports related thing here

Womens usually have some advice, some relationship topic, something about kids...or balancing the latter two. You guys will always seem to get attacked more cause you talk about your position...most men that talk about where they are, are usually the miserable ones and a bunch of them don't talk about it.

JTK: Generally, older women are not as interested in wasting time with guys who are not looking for relationships. Let's face it --- by the time you've been seeing a girl for three or so months, you know if you want to stick around. Women do have biological clocks --- as do men, although old sperm is not as openly discussed as old eggs. Additionally, in a society where beauty is valued in women and accomplishments valued in men, I think a lot of us would like to find a man not only while we are still younger and attractive, but before he, in all his accomplished glory, gets bald and fat and can STILL get a wife. (How irritating, LOL!)

Remember also that women still, generally, do NOT propose marriage (although 'the ultimatum' remains popular, albeit unwise) so for a woman to speculate and even ask whether or not you will propose and then proceed to move on if you aren't looking like a viable possibility, is perfectly reasonable versus "erratic". It's interesting how something that would be entirely understandable in a business transaction is "erratic" when interpreted as a woman's emotional behavior in a relationship.

Additionally, over 30 there is also a dearth of guys who aren't embittered by their divorces or past relationships --- it's epidemic. Men tend to think, because they communicate so little with one another about their emotions, that they invented every relationship tribulation they personally have experienced. Bottling it up, they tend to rebound far worse than women. We're really, really tired of that.

So, if you're a positive, upbeat guy without the baggage of an ex-wife and kids, half attractive... consider the fact that you are somewhat of a commodity, especially if you are a professional in a fairly bluish-collar town, a complimentary reason why women might get clingy with you. Your contemporaries tend to be might unattractive packages.

At 41 and single with boyfriend, I'm by no means unhappy and by no means concerned with whether he wants to marry ME. I'm more concerned with whether I want to marry HIM. But, then again, I never wanted kids --- so I've never been in any rush. If we break up, c'est la vie, life was fine before and would be fine again after what would be a tearful time, I assure you. (I am rather fond of the guy!)

Have I been lonely in the past, sure. But then I remember I can stretch out over the WHOLE king-sized bed and that being in that bed with the wrong person is far lonelier than being physically alone. (Write that down, girls!)

And Pete... I'm right with you, pal, on wagging tails! And if I didn't have a boyfriend, I'd ask for your number and go do single-people stuff with you. Sidekicks were my biggest challenge when I wasn't dating someone!

My best to you all... single or otherwise!

Preach it, Ms. James! I'm sooooo tired of that myth...and the fact that woman have to always be paired up in order to seem relevant is really beyond me.

What a bunch of self-aborbed rationalisations! Give it another ten years, gals, and those tails-a-waggin' are going to appear VERY old. Indeed, much older and far less satisfying than a real human male voice to talk the day over ever could be!

Bobbi, I think a lot of folks would agree, but maybe you missed the a cog in the argument? The post focused on women over 30, rather than women over 40, 50, whatever...

I kinda agree with the ladies that being into their 30's and unmarried isn't cause for an SOS signal, but agree with you that being single and into middle age might not be the happiest of futures, unless, I dunno, you've just escaped an abusive or plain dull relationship.

And Nadine, flattery gets you everywhere, but I think (probably better for more my wife and infant daughter) that your comment was meant for Kristen...

Cheers!

I think you hit the nail on the head, Bobbi - rationalizations to cover up the fact that growing old alone is a terrifying prospect, particularly for the fairer sex.

Bobbi,

Yeah, but here's the thing...our society (and articles and comments like these) put a fear into women. Women settle for the wrong guy and stay with the wrong guy for fear of being single. And alot of women go so far as to stay with the wrong guy even if he is abusing them emotionally or physically.

Sorry, but I'll take being single over staying with the wrong guy any day of the week. It's great to say you have a boyfriend, but if you're miserable, is it really that great??

Been there, done that. I refuse to settle ever again.

Bobbi,

And don't even get me started on the many, many ways dogs are better companions than men (or humans in general).

Happiness isn't determined by someone else. only you can define happiness within yourself. You can't rely on someone to give you happiness, that is why alot of relationships and marriages end. Love yourself, be content with yourself that's comes first. We as woman should learn to wait on love, instead of this timeclock. Yes, Yes, Yes you can be 30 happy and single, and if anyone disagrees then they are not truly happy within themselves