Give me your best shot
What's the best way to win an argument with someone you're dating? What's your fighting strategy?
This question came up while reading a post by Mimi over at Sexagenarian and the City, who writes a fairly in-depth blow-by-blow on a fight with her beau. I got pulled into it because it really showed the back-and-forth: we're OK, oh wait, no we're not, let me pick a fight over something silly, OK, we're really fine now kinda fights that I really abhor. Like with most things that are unpleasant, I just want to get it over with. Let's hash it out, admit we're wrong and fast-forward to the making up.
But it doesn't quite work that way a lot of the time. I wrote a column back in September about winning fights, and in the process, I found a not-so-upstanding strategy for winning a fight on Lifehacker:
If someone starts yelling to get their point across, don't respond -- just let them go on and on. Remain so silent that they eventually start wondering if you are even listening. It doesn't matter what the issue was, you will have won the argument.
When I wrote the column, all the people I talked to -- experts and people on the street -- gave nice suggestions (listen to your mate, compromise, don't go to bed angry) but no fun, down-and-dirty tactics. So, I'm going to try again. This week, inspired by Mimi's post, I wanna know your tricks for winning an argument with your S.O.
Do you play dead? (AKA, agree to whatever their saying) Do you win them with reason? (I'm sure that never works.) I had a friend, who, when desperate, would distract her boyfriend with sex. It wasn't the best solution, but it shut him up for the time being and gave them both a happier outlook when they started the conversation again.
Whatever your fight strategy is, whether it's sulking, sighing or sexing, I want to know. I'll post my five favorite fighting tactics on Friday.
(Photo by Col6085 at stock.xchng)
Comments
I use a variation of the Lifehacker joint. I do talk but I lower my voice and ask: "Why can't we be reasonable. I'm sure we can discuss this like two adults. There's no need to yell."
Posted by: Amadeo | June 9, 2008 7:44 PM
There's a Will Ferrell SNL skit where he plays a father. The family is sitting down to eat and inevitably ends up arguing. Ferrell makes the funniest and most pathetic argument ever, and yells, "I drive a Dodge Stratus!"
Whenever my boyfriend and I argue, he yells that at me. It's usually enough to jolt me out of my bad mood and we forget what we were fighting about. :)
Posted by: R | June 10, 2008 9:38 AM
In addition to the delay (Kansas City Shuffle post from today), I totally do the pout.
I mean, it tends to be gender-specific, but it's not (always) intentional! And it totally works, whether you want him to come home from work early, give you a back rub or admit that his mother is overbearing.
Posted by: J | June 11, 2008 4:43 PM