The bad date list from hell
One of my friends sent me a link to this story in MSN Dating and Personals, "5 Dates No Guy Wants to Go On."I was excited, until I read it. It's bad, dude. It's bad. I realize this guy, Mark Miller, is trying to be funny with this list, but he relies so heavily on tired cliches that are more worn than my jeans I've had for six years (and are not appropriate for public viewing) that its NOT humorous. It's just bad.
I'll guide you through his list:
1. Hiking. "The way we see it, nature is way overrated. How many flowers can you smell? How many sunsets can you ooh and ahh over? How many coyotes can you worry about being in the vicinity?" he writes. "Plus, there’s no access to the Internet or email. No TV sports. Bugs everywhere. What about any of this spells fun?"
Yes, all men are sad sacks if they don't have access to TV sports 24-7. And what manly man appreciates nature and oh, yeah, exercise? Try again, homie.
2. Opera. Thus begin the big Mars and Venus cliches.
If given the choice of how to spend a Friday or Saturday night, what guy wouldn’t vote for putting on some uncomfortable formal clothing after spending a couple of hundred dollars for tickets, then another hefty chunk for parking, all to hear overly-costumed and overly-made-up folks belting out tunes that don’t have a beat and don’t rhyme, in a language only U.N. translators can understand? Exactly. And yet we still get the evil look from girlfriends when we try to stay awake during Madame Butterfly by playing a video game on our cell phones.I really had to focus on this to keep my eyes from rolling into the back of my head. I HATE the women-heart-culture, men-are-coarse-uncultured-swine stereotype. I know for a fact that some men enjoy the opera. And while it's not like going to the corner bar and hanging out with a few beers, opera is not meant to be so. Opera is kind of a special occasion outing (or, at very least, a nice treat). Hence, the dressing up. Grow up.
3. Travel. "Yes, they all want to get out of the country and see the world, explore other cultures, become enriched and broaden their horizons. These are all noble and worthy pursuits," Miller writes. "Men, however, view travel slightly differently. We even spell it differently. We spell it this way: t$r$a$v$e$l. We also view it as time away from our jobs."
I have heard this argument before, that it is hard to accept shelling out a ton of dough for an experience, something that isn't really tangible and can be used over and over again, like, say, an XBox. Fine. OK. But THEN to back up the argument with "We also view it as time away from our jobs"? One, duh. That's what vacation is. B, women have to play catch-up when they come back from travel, too. Miller, you are SO fired. From my esteem, at least.
4. Clothes shopping. I'm not even going to quote him on this, it's so silly. If she takes you clothes shopping, it's not a date. Most women are smart enough to go by themselves or with their friends. (Unless you're a clothes horse yourself.) And the other half of the female population (of which I'm a part of) hates going shopping as much as you do and would rather buy online.
5. Relationship workshops. Are you kidding me?? WHO, tell me, WHO goes to a relationship workshop for a DATE. At this point, he wasn't even trying anymore.
At the bottom of the story, there's a link to a women's bad date list, which is actually written seriously and is worth a gander. But since Mr. Miller messed up his list so badly, help me out, men. What are dates that you do not want to go on?
(Photo by sundstrom at stock.xchng)
Comments
I once DRAGGED someone to a Maize Maze --- you know, one of those labyrinths carved out of a cornfield? He was reluctant until the dormant Eagle Scout within him finally awoke. Then he hogged the map and moved so fast I could barely keep up.
Posted by: dancing monkey | May 16, 2008 2:11 PM
Maryann, you know I hate the sweeping gender generalization, but my point with the previous comment is that sometimes people (okay, boys) doubt how much fun something can be. I once talked to the organizer of a gingerbread house building event, who said all the husbands and boyfriends always walked in wearing frowns but usually ended up taking over the projects entirely in the end.
Posted by: dancing monkey | May 16, 2008 2:17 PM
ha! I saw that on MSN and was appalled at his extreme stupidity! I mean...there is a way to be sarcastic and funny...but this guy is just dumb!
how can people not want to travel??
Posted by: Elizabeth | May 16, 2008 3:13 PM
Hey, as a man, I must say that at least the writer is correct in that I don't want to do any of that for a date. And with the exception of travel, I don't want to do any of them ever.
Posted by: Ron | May 16, 2008 4:36 PM
I have no problem hiking...but that's not a date..it's an activity for people who are together...when I think hike I think of exertion not a leisure stroll.
Opera...meh, perhaps...but I would be more comfortable if I understood the language it was in. On the other side I don't like most musicals cause instead of the ability actors use in plays to relate something...everything just comes in song form. A production of Shakespeare? Cool.
I will say this, dates should not include:
Chain restaurants
Movies (not in the first three)
Posted by: Amadeo | May 17, 2008 11:15 AM
Here's where not to take a woman, same MSN dating section (link's above):
Sports Bars
Theme Parks
Chain Restaurants
Gross Out Comedies
Paintball
Meeting Your Mother
My take as a single female:
I like sports bars. They're casual, fun, and for a first date, they are loud and busy enough to take the edge off.
Theme parks: I used to love riding roller coasters, etc. Even though I don't like rides as much as I used to, I think this is an awesome date place.
Chain Restaurants: I have something I like at each one. And while it wouldn't be great for a birthday or special occasion, spending a Fri or Sat night at an Outback or TGIFridays is just fine with me.
Gross Out Comedies: I kinda have to agree (although I found "Superbad" and "Jacka**" hilarious). But girls, this means you can't drag him to romantic comedies either!!
Paintball: Yeah no. I'd be staying home def. Although I did go hunting.....once.
Meeting your mother: Depending on where you are in the relationship, this is a big (meaningful) step for a girl. I personally wouldn't be uncomfortable, as long as I'm comfortable with the guy first. I've actually been quite close with some bf's moms, to the point that we've stayed friends after the breakup (gets tricky-I don't recommend it).
Posted by: CH | May 18, 2008 8:21 AM
In regards to where to not take a woman on a date, I think it really does depend on the individual. As a woman, I must say I actually enjoy sports bars, theme parks, chain restaurants and yes, even the occasional gross-out mindless comedy :)
You really do have to give that guy some measure of credit, though. He created the *perfect* visual of a man who has been dragged along on a clothes shopping spree against his will!
Posted by: Rhonda | May 21, 2008 5:15 PM