According to Marguerite Fields, a junior at Marlboro College in Vermont, monogamy is a rare bird these days for college students. In her essay, she details the string of men she's been involved with, from those she was just interested in, to the men she messed around with, to dates -- but never boyfriends. According to Fields, the lines are so fuzzy these days that people shy away from THE line into Boyfriend.

It's an interesting idea, which leads to some funny stories:

So, a few days after the chat with my mom, when I found myself downtown drinking tea with my friend Steven, I asked him what he thought about dating. He has a long-term girlfriend, and I was curious how he viewed their relationship.

“The main thing,” he said, “is I don’t mind if she sleeps with other people. I mean, she’s not my property, right? I’m just glad I get to hang out with her. Spend time with her. Because that’s all we really have, you know? I don’t want her to be mine, and I don’t want to be anybody’s.”

I sucked my teeth and looked over at the next table, where two men sat opposite each other. One looked over his shoulder and gave me a closed-mouth grin.

Steven explained that it’s not a question of faithfulness but of expectation. He can’t be expected not to want to sleep with other people, so he can’t expect her to think differently. They are both young and living in New York, and as everyone in New York knows, there’s the possibility of meeting anyone, everywhere, all the time.

I'm sorry, this is crazy to me. When I was in college, though there were plenty of swinging singles who preferred to stay that way -- especially men, who had their pick at a school where they were outnumbered by at least 2:1 -- but there were also plenty of people who were willing to stick with one guy or girl. And that didn't mean just until they saw someone else who caught their eye.

Of course, perhaps my perspective is a little skewed. At that point, I was dating mostly women (I know the old lesbian joke: "What does a lesbian bring on a second date?" "A U-Haul.") and perhaps much has changed in the four years I've been out of school. (At least one person in Baltimore seems to agree with the fuzzy logic on monogamy.)

Am I old and out of touch? Is monogamy passe among college kids? (Or even older folks?)