BaltAmour: Smalltimore pros and cons - Tales of love, like, and everything in between

I grew up in a small small town. In fact, it's unfair to even qualify it as a city -- it's a county. With 6,000 people, everybody knows everybody. And, in a place where my grandfather's grandparents lived, it's likely that you're related to most of them. We used to joke that you had to check out the family of someone before you asked them out -- you could be related.

I treasure my rural upbringing, but I hightailed it out of there as soon as I could, for the bright lights of ... Baltimore. (With a few stops in between.) And, funnily enough, it seems that the small-town situations are hard to escape. I still see the same people, and though the town's a lot bigger than my hometown, everybody still knows everybody. Or at least knows somebody who knows somebody else.

That can be good or bad for romantic encounters. So, here are my five good and bad things about Smalltimore:

Good/Bad: We're all connected. So even if you don't like the one you're with, you can likely find someone better through the one you're with. From Amadeo:

As a life long resident I am connected to everyone. If you don't know me, we may be related.
This has helped me to avoid some women. If a certain friend of mine dated him I can' t go there. He's a weirdo so I think they must be looney by association.
In High school a girl introduced me to friend over the phone..I talked to the friend who introduced me to 3 other girls I ended up dating. Later in life I dated my friend from school. 4 dates...all connected by the same friend. I might owe her money or something.

Good: You can check references. In a bigger city, sleazeballs can hide. Here, if someone does some dirt, you can find out about it.

Bad: It's hard to escape your exes. Whether it's at neighborhood spots or through other people, their gonna come back to haunt you. Be sure not to burn too many bridges. From BaltAmour reader Cat:

I dated a guy and then met his best friend turns out he was a guy I dated three years earlier!
Also met a guy through an online site and was speaking about him to my friend who had met him on another site and another friend of hers and met him too! Same thing happened again with another guy.

Good/Bad: You have to keep a good memory. Just as your exes are more likely to reappear, so are bad dates, good dates and so-so ones. And if you don't remember them, it can come back to haunt you.

Good: It makes for good entertainment. Take this story from wisegirl:

Ok. Ready for this? I started dating my neighbor after both of our marriages ended. His ended because his wife was cheating with a man who also cheated with the same neighbor's sister. After neighbor's sister and neighbor's brother in law split up and neighbor and I split up, because I suspected that he had more than a casual friendship with the ex-wife of the man that his wife was cheating on him with, I had a brief fling with neighbor's ex-brother in law. After all that, I dated a good friend of neighbor's ex-brother-in-law, who dumped me because he was likely still hung up on his ex-girlfriend, who he was still living with and I went to high school with.

Confused? Here's a graphical representation.

So kids, unless you want to move or date in another city -- and gas is expensive nowadays; that's not a cheap option -- you must keep this lesson in mind: Dating and relationships in Baltimore is like a great karmic experiment. What goes around comes around. Do good and good will come back to you. :)

Smalltimore pros and cons

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