Step out from the pack
A Frenchwoman at Sex and Moxie asks why American men don't flirt as much as Europeans. Moxie responds that it's not that American men are less flirty, it's just that in big cities, they have too many choices.I won't delve into that. What caught my attention was her solution: Make yourself more approachable, a tip I've heard many times from dating experts and that isn't without its merits. In addition to the usual make contact, don't hang out in bars if you want to meet people, blah blah blah, been there done that, she addressed the girls' night pitfall:
Don't close yourself off in a corner or with a group. Don't go out with groups in general if you want to mingle and meet people. It's too easy to stay to your pack and not move. Make yourself accessible.
I will have to agree! Men have often told me the pack is the kiss of death. Even if you're interested in a particularly striking gazelle, it's hard to pick her out if she's deeply entrenched in the herd. Women can be intimidating. Especially in large groups.
Anyone care to back me up or knock me down?
Photo courtesy of caz777 at stock.xchng
Photo courtesy of caz777 at stock.xchng
Comments
It could be said that women in a group are like a herd of gazelles. If they are all evasive, all you have to be is fast enough to catch the slowest one. You may not get the pick of the litter (to mix my metaphors), but you have a good chance at taking one of the weaker ones down. So you pick one off that looks like she has the lowest self-esteem and go right at the pack. I call it the "low hanging fruit" theory.
That notwithstanding the value of a group of women is that there is a higher probability of something sticking in a conversation. Certainly they can always turn around and retreat back into their ranks, but it's possible one of them might pick up what you are putting down. It's like a venn diagram...there's a better chance for some overlap when you increase your odds!
Posted by: JTK | January 10, 2008 1:12 PM
When it comes to women in a pack, it's best to keep this helpfull little tip in mind.
What you should do is start crawling around on the floor near them (not next to them, lest you be kicked), and when one of them finally asks you what you're doing, explain that you're simply looking for your Congressional Medal of Honor that fell off.
The ones who turn thier heads in disgust are off the list, the one that laughs is the one you talk to, and the one that helps you look for it, is the one you immediately start buying drinks for.
Posted by: Allan | January 10, 2008 4:56 PM
I agree and disagree about the pack. I've had much more success walking up to and engaging a pack. A friend is a master at it. If you have friends it works out even better. Only issue is women tend to talk about things and choose who get's who...unless they're competing with each other. Then you also have to be careful when you want to focus in on one of the pack...once you choose you can't go back.
Posted by: Amadeo | January 11, 2008 1:16 PM