My boyfriend is good friends with an ex, and I have a hard time with it. They were friends for almost 10 years, then decided to see if they could be more, it only lasted 3 months, and decided just to stay friends. BUT, it still bothers me when she calls, etc. How do I cope with this?

I think the answer to both of those is "it depends." Are the opposite sex (or same-sex, depending on your sexuality) friends or exes really friends or does one of them want more? If they're really friends, then it shows that your SO can probably communicate with the opposite sex or had a healthy enough relationship that he/she and the ex don't hate each other.

Just keep remembering....there is a reason that they are the ex. If it becomes an actual problem (eg, your SO is sleeping with their ex) then obviously, your SO is a prick and the relationship isn't meant to be. If he cheats on you with his/her ex, he/she will cheat on your with anyone.

I am not a fan of SO’s being friends with their ex’s and am always upfront about my feelings. However, I am not one to make life difficult for my SO. The relationship with the ex was there before I hit the scene, so I evaluate the situation and determine if it's one I can handle.

With that being said, I think jealousy is a normal human behavior and it think it’s my responsibility to ease my SO’s concerns. If my ex and I truly are friends why not invite my SO out with my ex (along with other friends) when meeting for happy hour (which in my opinion should not be often). This let my SO see that my ex and I are operating strictly on a friendship level. In general I do nothing with exs without my SO’s knowledge, presence, or the presence of a friend my SO trust.

It’s easy when couples break up to stop having sex. However, people make two big mistakes when dealing with exs. First is keeping interactions a secret for new partners. I think this is done to minimize conflict and awkwardness. But when it comes out (which it always does) the awkwardness compiles. Two, people keep exs in the same priority position, sans the physical. (If he your exs, why are you still calling him to tell him about the daily trials on your job, or you dog being sick, or your family issue). If you are building a new relationship you ex should not be the first person you call when you get a promotion.