And on the subject of pick-ups...
Arm Jerker J. over at Single is the New Relationship tried an experiment the other week: She womaned up and tried the "jab, bob and leave" technique -- hit on the guy, pique his interest, then leave.
Only one problem: she caved on the leaving part.
"What I hope we’ve learned here is that the real question isn’t who should ask out or approach who," she wrote. "— the real challenge is knowing what to do next once the first move is made."
I have more trouble with the start than the follow-through. Once you get me to talking and flirting, I'm good. You've just gotta push me out there. But for the sake of argument, what do you do after the hello? Has anyone had problems with stellar openers (and I'm not just talking about lines, I'm talking about the whole approach) and not-so-stellar follow-through? How do you get through it?
photo courtesy of pick-up-lines.info
Comments
Awkwardly and with poor tact...like most of my professional and social situations.
"Aw, thank God! Now, let's talk rust-proofing. These Colecos'll rust up on ya' like that, er ... shut up, Gil. Close the deal ... close the deal!"
Posted by: JTK | October 25, 2007 4:50 PM
I actually never start with a hello. I have to
a) work off a shared moment
b) be hilarious
c) start with something self deprecating
d) address something she has noticed
Afterwards I have to be funny without effort, knowledgeable about something she's doing or has with her. Humor is always good...not cause it always works, but if you get a good one in (and it's not some obscure reference) and she doesn't get it than I may need to slide to the side.
Posted by: Amadeo | October 25, 2007 8:46 PM
I hate the sounds of this "jab, bob and leave" game. If I had a woman do that to me, I'd figure she really wasn't interested. She'd have to stay for a bit and make her interest obvious or I would never call, figuring she is playing games.
As for me, I always have trouble with first approach and opening... so many missed opportunities because of this! I agree with Amadeo, I usually work from a shared moment and try to say something humorous, but finding those moments is tough for me and without it I'm not going to say anything. Once I'm past that though, if after I say something she gives me that little smile, usually I can carry through no problem, just be yourself and relax.
Posted by: CD | October 26, 2007 10:22 AM
Well, it just should have stopped at, "here's my number..." in my case...
I have done this too often (not on purpose as I did in this particular situation) and this last time when I did it, I performed all the wrong things to dissect each and every one on its own and found that less is always more!
It's easy to say "be hilarious" but sometimes your first instinct (your planned first instinct) can backfire...and sometimes the same can be said with self-deprecating. You really gotta know your audience!
Posted by: arm jerker j. | October 26, 2007 2:05 PM
CD: Please. There are so many men who do this to US! Now here is a moment when a woman does it and you assume it shows disinterest? As you can see from my situation, I stayed. And I let the guy do his talking and I did mine. What happens, though, is if you don't "jab, bob and leave" you lose mystery. I don't see this as a game. I see this as an appetizer.
Posted by: arm jerker j. | October 26, 2007 2:39 PM
Arm Jerker mentioned you in her blog. Natrually I am a curious person. So I figured I would stop by and snoop around. By far I like what I read.
Posted by: MisstressM | October 27, 2007 7:17 PM
I love the blog title.
Posted by: greg | October 28, 2007 11:59 AM