A Washington blogger who goes by the pseudonym Golden Silence has a blog she started as a response to many catcalls she would get on the street in D.C.

I went to college in D.C., so I've been privy to many encounters with men who just won't take a no (Howard Homecoming weekend is probably the worst), but I don't think that the streets of D.C. are any worse than New York, Miami, or even our beloved Baltimore.

But I digress.

In a post last month, a friend, Avocado in Paradise, compared two incidents with men, one that she said bordered on harassment, the other which landed in the confines of acceptable flirtation. I'll direct you to the page for the full story, but the CliffNotes versions is: Guys who ask a lot of probing questions up front without seeming to volunteer their full info and follow you off the train = harassment. Guys who compliment you and stick with small talk = flirtation.

I think that her two examples are iffy, given that mood can certainly color how your perceive something. On a day you feel ratty, a guy's compliment could uplift you; on another day, that same compliment could piss you off. Either way, I think Avocado is right about one thing: the difference between flirtation and harassment can totally depend on whether a guy pays attention to a woman's cues:

Just have normal conversations when both parties feel like it. It builds up both people's ability to be attractive and engaging, and eventually you'll meet a woman who wants to have coffee with you. She'll send off signals and will either ask for your email address, or pause dramatically before leaving hoping you'll ask for hers. She'll appear reluctant to leave when it's time to go, and I think that's the real signal to ask for her digits or email. I didn't project that in either of these situations. One guy noticed, the other didn't. You definitely don't just immediately ask for our numbers and then follow us around. Yuck yuck yuck.

In our chats about the approach and the brush-off, I have heard complaints about women being too sensitive about the pick-up, even though I've asserted that some men don't know how to accept a no. Well, to those guys who are confused about when a girl is interested (listen up, Checkout Boy), the passage above is a good guide.

And as a good friend said the other day, if the girl doesn't want to talk to you, you're too nice a guy to waste your time chasing after someone who doesn't want you.