baltimoresun.com

February 7, 2012

Backseat safety

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday:

I noticed a few days ago that the Maryland General Assembly is considering legislation that would require kids under age 13 to sit in the back seat of the car. Currently, the state recommends kids under 13 sit in the back, but doesn’t require it.

I don’t know about you, but I think it’s a great idea. The Maryland State Medical Society, also known as MedChi, supports the measure as a way to reduce the chance of kids being seriously hurt in car crashes. That’s good, of course, but I have more selfish reasons for supporting the plan.

If the law passes, I won’t have to play referee with my kids about who gets to sit up front. One boy is 10, the other 15. The matter will be settled. The younger one will complain of course, but I’ll be able to say, “Sorry, honey, that’s the law.”

I already use that answer when he moans about going to school. “Sorry, you can’t stay home from school. That’s the law.”

So I’m asking the legislature on behalf of parents throughout the state—pass this law so I’ll have one less argument to settle. And maybe while you’re at it, pass a law that settles which kid has control over the car radio.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Child Safety, Teens
        

January 31, 2012

Tween Tuesday: Getting face time with kids despite technology

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday:

Do your kids look at you when you talk with them? With all the cell phones, iPods, computers and other digital devices, it seems to get harder to get kids’ attention. My older son nearly always has the cell phone in one hand and the iPod in the other. The younger is glued to the laptop playing games.

But researchers at Stanford University found that tween girls who spend a lot of time watching videos and using online communication may feel less social success, sleep less and have less desirable friends. On the other hand, kids who spent more time in face-to-face communication seemed to have greater social success, greater feelings of normalcy and more sleep.

Kids need to spend time in face-to-face conversations in order to learn the visual cues of facial expressions, the researchers point out.

As we know, it’s hard to read expressions when your eyes are glued to a screen.

Posted by baltimoresun.com at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

January 24, 2012

Helping children cope with deployment

militaryconnect.jpg

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday:

An estimated 2 million kids have had to say good-bye to a military parent who was deployed overseas since 2001, including many in Maryland. Last week, the Department of Defense launched a website to help kids cope with the stress of parents who are stationed abroad. Militarykidsconnect.org, created by psychologist at the defense department, includes message boards, games, videos and educational resources for kids 6 to 17.

The site also has features to help parents and educators understand the challenges military families face as they go through the deployment cycle. The site includes information on how parents and teachers should address the sadness, worry and outbursts kids may experience when a parent is deployed overseas.

For military families out there: How have you helped the kids adjust to a deployment?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

January 17, 2012

To or not to give an allowance

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday:

I’ve always been a bit perplexed over the issue of giving a kid an allowance. Baltimore Sun financial columnist Eileen Ambrose gives me even more to think about.

In her column Sunday, she quotes Lewis Mandell, professor emeritus of finance and former dean of business at the State University of New York in Buffalo, who has found that that giving kids allowances without requiring them to do chores makes kids less motivated to get a job or go to college. While we’ve been told for years that giving kids allowances helps them better understand finances, the professor found that high school students who didn’t get an allowance performed better on financial literacy tests than those who did.

Allowances have come and gone in my house. At one time, I gave the kids $5 a week, but when finances became tight, the allowances went away. I also had second thoughts about paying kids to do chores around the house. I want them to learn that they must help just because they should, not because they will be paid for it. For my older son, that means mowing the lawn and taking out the trash. Both kids must walk the dog and clean their rooms.

Mandell says it’s important to talk with kids about finances and I do a lot of that. I pull out that oldie but goodie “Money doesn’t go on trees” and “I’m not a bank” and simply “We can’t afford it.” I tell them how much the mortgage and utility bills cost and what I earn. I’ve quizzed them on gas prices and phone bills. I hope these lessons will sink in now so the bill collector doesn’t come knocking at their door later.

What do you think is the best approach on allowances?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

January 10, 2012

Teaching teens to cook

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday:

Is it too late for New Year’s resolutions? My diet is floundering, but I have another idea. I should teach the boys to cook.

I enjoy cooking, especially holiday meals and desserts. I like to shoo everyone from the kitchen and get to work. But cooking day in and day out gets tiring and monotonous. I need to enlist the troops.

Truthfully, the weeknight fare I make after I come home from work isn’t hard—burgers, pasta, grilled chicken, etc. I throw in a starch and at least one vegetable or salad and I’m done.

I’m sure the kids could do it, with minimal supervision. The problem is getting them to do it. It isn’t unusual for my 15-year-old to pull a frozen dinner out of the freezer and ask me to cook it. Really!

So my new New Year’s resolution is to teach the boys to make a few simple dishes without cutting off their fingers or burning down the house. If I can succeed in that, I’ll have taught the boys a valuable life skill. If I can’t, well, I guess my diet will be safe at least.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

January 3, 2012

Best apps for kids

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday:

My kids have never met a screen they didn't like. TV, computer, smart phone, iPad, iPod. They love them. But if you're like me, you wonder if all that screen time might be put to better use. So I started looking around for educational game apps.

There are thousands, but the good news is there are websites out there to help sort through them.

One is Bestkidsapps, which reviews apps for iPhone, iPad and Droid and organizes the apps by age and objective. You can get reviews on the most popular as well as discover new games.

Now not everything here is educational, unless you believe Angry Birds and Paper Toss develop geometry skills. But I did find some new ones that I plan to try let my 10-year-old try.

Another site I found, appolicious, lists apps that teachers use in the classroom. These are more expensive, but seem a bit more educational, to my mind.

A third, funeducationalapps, reviews and lists apps by age and subject. It includes clips from the games so you can get a better idea if you’ll like them before you download them.

What are your favorite apps for kids? As long as it doesn't have a gun or sword, I'm interested.
 

Posted by baltimoresun.com at 9:01 AM | | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

December 27, 2011

No Facebook for Sasha and Malia Obama

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday:

Sasha and Malia Obama may get to meet Justin Bieber at a Christmas concert, but they won't be gushing about it on Facebook. That's because Dad won't let them on the social network site. "Why would we want to have a whole bunch of people who we don't know knowing our business?" the president said in an interview with People magazine. "That doesn't make much sense."

Although only 13-year-old Sasha is old enough to join Facebook, parents and older siblings often help children as young as 10-year-old Malia sign up for accounts. It's not surprising that there are secrets Dad would prefer his daughters not blab to the world. Most families don't have the paparazzi and political enemies trying to gather up any tidbit of gossip. Still, how many of us would like our tweens to publish to the world everything that goes on in their lives?

My tween was interested in Facebook for a while, but that seems to have been a passing fad. Now that he has discovered he can talk to friends on his iPod and play with them on his Xbox Live, Facebook seems a little old fashioned, I guess.

Posted by baltimoresun.com at 8:22 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

December 20, 2011

London

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday:

This week education will take a back seat to celebration in most schools. There will be holiday parties, concerts and sing-alongs. But most of us don’t have to worry about what the kids will wear. A Santa hat or reindeer antlers will do if the kids want to wear them. Braver tweens might even agree to a Christmas sweater.

But across the pond, it apparently is different. I came across a press release from a London department store that said British parents are going crazy over dressing their kids in expensive costumes for the traditional nativity plays that are performed in elementary schools. Some parents will dress their kids in bed sheets and towels, but others are springing for ready-made star, shepherd and Mary costumes. While prices vary, a Mary costume can cost $40.

I love Christmas and all its traditions, but personally I’m glad that I only have to worry about finding a costume for my kid once a year on Halloween.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

December 13, 2011

Salon days for pre-teens

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday:

As a mother of boys, I’ve missed out on some things. One of those apparently is the new trend toward young girls visiting day spas. I’d heard of girls having birthday parties that included manicures and facials, but a recent report on ABC shows that it goes farther than that. Girls as young as 11 are going to salons for the full treatment, including bikini waxes.

One salon owner in the report says it’s simply a matter of hygiene and the younger girls start the better. But the report raises concerns as well about messages we are sending to vulnerable girls about their appearance.

Are we putting too much emphasis on the way our tween and teen girls look? The report says parents can set the tone. That is true to a certain extent, but peer pressure on these girls is tremendous. Do you think tween girls are too young for these kind of spa treatments?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 9:27 AM | | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

December 6, 2011

Taking kids sports too seriously

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday:

Call me naïve, but I had no idea that some parents take recreational sports so seriously. This week my 10-year-old had his first basketball practice and I was surprised when the coach took the parents aside and read us the rules. He reminded us to be good sports and not yell at the children or the coaches. And he said under no circumstances should we reward our sons with gifts for the number of shots they make.

Do parents really do that? Let me be clear, we are talking about recreational basketball. There are no tryouts and every kid plays. I signed my son up so he would get some exercise during the winter. It never occurred to me to reward him for number of shots he makes.

Every time my kids play sports, they can count on hearing me remind them about trying to do their best, supporting their teammates and sticking with the sport through the season. But it seems parents need their own reminders about how to be good sports.

Have you seen parents who needed sportsmanship lessons in the rec leagues?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (2)
Categories: Teens
        

November 29, 2011

No more cursive writing?

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday:

I was fascinated to read Liz Bowie’s story this week describing how Maryland schools may soon drop the teaching of cursive handwriting. The lessons are not included in the core curriculum the schools will begin following next year and some schools are leaving it up to the principals whether cursive is taught or not.

I’m not sure how I feel about the change. I never had nice penmanship and my handwriting has gotten only worse over the years. The only time I’ve seen my older son, who is in high school, write in cursive is when he signs his name.

My fifth grader is struggling to learn cursive now. He doesn’t have good penmanship, but I haven’t heard any teachers complain. I can understand that the kids might have more important things to learn these days than how to write the cursive Q or properly cross their Ts.

Still, I worry that something will be lost if kids no longer learn to write in cursive. Doesn’t the patience required to write perfect rows of Bs build character? And if kids can’t write cursive, how will they be able to read cursive? Will cursive become a secret code that only a few can decipher?

What do you think? Has your tween learned to write in cursive? Should cursive writing still be taught?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (3)
Categories: Teens
        

November 22, 2011

Tween past times

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday:

Sometimes trying to entertain kids makes you feel really old.

A good friend offered to watch my 10-year-old son this week when schools were closed for parent conferences. When she called to invite him over to play with her son for the day, she said she had a craft the boys could make. Another friend planning to visit for Thanksgiving is looking forward to playing board games with the kids.

My boys, however, aren’t exactly jumping up and down with enthusiasm.

Crafts and board games sound like a lot of fun to me, but to my kids, these past times are low-tech and boring. In their world, if it doesn’t come with a battery or an electric cord, it’s no fun.

Now that the holiday shopping season is approaching, it’s perhaps a good time to consider the difference between what kids think is fun and what we think is fun. A Harris survey conducted in October found that 45 percent of adults who plan on buying toys this year will be buying children’s books. About 30 percent will buy arts and crafts and a 25 percent will buy board games.

But for kids like mine, all is not lost. The survey finds those with a tween (ages 10-12) in the household are planning to purchase games for consoles (67 percent), then children's books (43 percent) and board games (41 percent) while those with a teen (13-17) are buying games for consoles (62 percent), sports equipment (37 percent) and children's books (34 percent).

Personally, I think it’s good to expose the kids to old-fashioned pleasures like a game of Monopoly or Battleship. These games don’t have high-tech graphics, but at least I have a chance of winning.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 9:19 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

November 15, 2011

Reality TV

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday:

As if having a tween or teen in the house doesn’t provides enough drama, a new study from the Girl Scout Research Institute shows that girls who regularly watch reality TV shows expect and accept a higher level of drama in their own lives.

The report also found that teen and tween girls who watch these shows accept more aggression and bullying in their lives and measure their worth by their appearance.

The impact of TV on children has been debated and studied for decades. There is always a bit of a chicken and egg problem to the research. But this new report finds interesting differences between reality TV viewers and non-viewers.

And the news isn’t all bad. The report finds reality TV viewers more self-assured and more likely to aspire to leadership roles than non-reality TV viewers.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

November 8, 2011

Nagging

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday

At what point do you give up, raise the white flag, tell your tween, “You win” and move on?

I feel like I reached that point this week in my battles with my 10-year-old over soccer. Last year, he loved soccer so much that he played on both outdoor and indoor teams. This year, he moved up an age bracket and seems to have hated every minute of it. He doesn’t dislike the coach or his teammates. His team has a winning record. He says he hates running laps in practice. But I think he also dislikes soccer because now that he is with older boys, he longer is one of the best players on the team.

I’ve always insisted that my kids finish the season with any sport they start. But I’m at the end of my rope. The arguments over getting ready, the struggles to put shin guards and cleats on an unwilling kid and his whining afterward have finally done me in. When he protested about going to his soccer game on Saturday, I said, “You win.” There are still two more weeks of the season, but as far as I’m concerned, his season is over.

I recently read Dr. Gordon Livingston’s book Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart, and I was struck by what he said about child rearing. “When parents are preoccupied with unimportant issues like food consumption or room cleanliness, these will be arenas for endless conflict,” he writes. The Columbia psychiatrist went on to say, “When parents, convinced of their crucial roles in shaping the futures of their children, ask me, ‘What can I do to make sure this kid turns out well?’ they are often surprise at my response: ‘Not much , but maybe cutting down on the fights and not trying to control your child’s every decision might help to make everyone happier right now.’”

It’s advice I’m going to try to remember.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

November 2, 2011

Tweens/teens

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday on Wednesday!

What a difference a few years makes. I have one son firmly planted in the teen years. Another right in the middle of the tween years. Both designations are a bit arbitrary, but the differences are real. Here are some of the differences I see:

1. The tween wanted to see the new Puss N Boots movie. The teen thought it was stupid. (The tween and I went and had a great time.)
2. The teen stayed up watching a scary movie on TV then went to bed; the tween watched the movie and went to my bed.
3. The teen is starting to be able to carry on a conversation with adults. The tween stammers and slips away as quickly as possible.
4. The tween plays with Legos and action figures. The teen compares his physique to an action figure.
5. When the teen likes a girl, he sends her a text or posts on her Facebook page. When the tween likes a girl, he throws her a football in recess.
6. The tween thinks school is lame and stupid. The teen thinks I’m lame and stupid.

How about you? What differences do you see in teens and tweens?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

October 25, 2011

Hearing loss

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday

Don’t you hate it when kids don’t listen? Lately I’m worried more about the kids not hearing. Both of my boys have taken to spending a lot of time with their iPod earbuds stuck in the ears. Part of the reason is they have different tastes in music so when we’re traveling they will listen to their iPods rather than listen to the radio. Another reason seems to be they abhor the sound of silence, so when they are reading or doing their homework they are listening to their iPods. And I’m sure at least one of the reasons they seem to always have cords dangling from their ears is they don’t want to listen to me.

But there is clear evidence that listening to music that is too loud or played for too long can damage one’s hearing. An article in the Journal of the American Medical Association last year found that 1 in 5 adolescents has some hearing loss and that listening to portable music players is partly to blame. According to the Hearing Loss Association of America, if you can hear the music while standing next to your child who is listening to a portable music player, he probably has the music turned too loud. Over time, a child suffers hearing loss and will crank the volume even higher.

One rule of thumb is to limit exposure to less than an hour and to keep the music volume so the listener can still hear someone talking three feet away. Now if I can just get my kids to listen so they will still be able to hear.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

October 18, 2011

Tween site

kidsvuz.jpg

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday

Most of the time, I’m trying to get my boys to put down the video games and log off the computers and connect with the real world. But I recently came across a tween website that your kids may enjoy. Called Kidsvuz the site is designed to let tweens share videos and reviews of toys, books, games and shows.

Two mom bloggers, Rebecca Levey and Nancy Friedman, came up the idea as a way to give kids a safe and easy place to share their views on everything from Harry Potter books to Ugg sneakers. The site launched earlier this month and is monitored by a panel of parents.
Kidsvuz includes:

• An integrated webcam so kids can record their videos while they sit at their computers
• A film school that teaches kids how to make videos
• Social media features that lets kids create communities based on shared interests

If kids are going to spend time in front of the screen, it makes sense that they do so with a site that is safe and challenges them to think a little.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

October 11, 2011

Too old for Halloween?

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday

Halloween is less than three weeks away, but you wouldn’t know it at my house. Sadly, it seems, the kids really are growing up. The boys haven’t asked to put up decorations or visit a pumpkin farm or even go to the party store for costumes. The fifth grader seemed ready to take a pass on trick-or-treating altogether until he learned that his dentist was giving $1 for every pound of candy his patients turn in. Now the kid sees the chance to make money and vows to stay out until midnight collecting as much candy as he can. The older one, who is 15, gave up trick-or-treating a couple years ago, but a girl he likes is going and I’m sure she could persuade him to join her.

It all feels so strange. In the houses where the kids are still small, they have the pumpkins out and the decorations in the yard. I recall how much effort I used to put into the holiday. When my older son was small, I made his Halloween costumes. The first was a bunny outfit (think Christmas Story) and then a bear outfit. By the time he started pre-school he would have nothing to do with homemade costumes and so we started on to the action figures, vampires and ghouls. I used to spend a fortune on decorations.

Now our house looks plain. It looks like “old” people live there.

In the spring, we gave up the Easter egg hunt. Trick-or-treating is looking pretty iffy. These holidays really do feel different when the kids start to grow up.

UPDATE (11:06 a.m.) Click here for a guide of Halloween activities.
Or if you want to search by location, go here.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Holidays, Teens
        

October 4, 2011

Mouth

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday

Here are three words I’d like to ban from my house: “I don’t care.”

Those words, and the shorter variant, “Who cares?” are the responses my kids give me when I tell them it’s time to do their homework or do their chores. It is their response when I start to nag them about picking their clothes off the floor or cleaning up their dishes.

“It’s time to walk the dog,” I say. “I don’t care,” they answer. “You need to make your bed,” I say. “Who cares?” is the reply.

Let’s face it, it’s hard to live with tweens and teens sometimes. But it helps knowing that my kids aren’t the only ones with a mouth. Here are some good suggestions from Parenting.com on how to fix that rude tween behavior.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

September 27, 2011

Family dinner

 

Source: The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday:

As a working mom with two active boys, I can tell you it’s hard to find a time we can all sit down to eat together. With soccer, basketball, scouts and school work, it seems the kids are constantly on the go.

But a recent study from The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse reminds us of the importance of family dinners. The study found that teens who have infrequent family dinners (fewer than three per week) are almost four times likelier to use tobacco, more than twice as likely to use alcohol, two-and-a-half times likelier to use marijuana, and almost four times likelier to say they expect to try drugs in the future than kids who eat with their families more than five times a week.

Of course there isn’t anything magical about the meal itself. Grilled chicken strips and spaghetti do not prevent drug abuse. What’s important is the time we spend with our kids. So don’t fret about cooking a gourmet meal. Go for quick and easy and spend your time talking at the table.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

September 20, 2011

Weight

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday

This week I took my tween shopping for clothes and reality hit. It seemed no matter what style or brand of jeans he tried on, they were too tight in the waist. I’ve been astounded to see that in the past year my once skinny boy has grown taller, broader, and yes, heavier, as he approaches puberty.

As a parent, it’s often difficult to know the right way to address children’s weight issues. Michelle Obama came under wide criticism when she publicly disclosed that her daughters were becoming heavy. While we often focus attention on body image with girls, boys have their own concerns. My 15-year-old is constantly checking his physique in the mirror lamenting that he is too fat, which he isn’t at all. The younger one, who needs to slim down, so far seems oblivious to his weight.

My challenge is to keep it in perspective. I try to follow the guidelines from the American Academy of Pediatrics and encourage the boys to get an hour of exercise every day, to eat their vegetables and cut down on the fattening snacks. But as they grow older and more independent, it’s hard to monitor everything they put in their mouth.

My hope is that the boys grow older, they will recognize the importance of eating right and exercising regularly, and make wise choices without become obsessive about their appearance.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

September 13, 2011

Cell phones

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday

Surveys show kids are getting cell phones at an earlier age. My 15-year-old has one. He got his when he started middle school. But now his 10-year-old brother has one. For the older one, who was walking to school and starting to visit friends nearby, it seemed like a good safety precaution. For the younger, well, he got the phone because big brother had one and it didn’t add anything to the phone bill.

He just received a free upgrade and now he is showing it off to his friends and telling them they HAVE to have a cell phone. Truthfully, he doesn’t need it. But then none of the kids seem to be using the phone to talk to anyone. They play games, text and take pictures, but talk? No, only old folks actually use telephones for talking.

If your tween is bugging you about a cell phone, here’s some advice from the National Consumers League. And if you do decide to buy your tween or teen a phone, consider a plan that comes with unlimited texting. I learned the hard way about that.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

September 6, 2011

Vaccines

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday

School is finally open and suddenly life gets very busy. I’ve been filling out forms, buying last-minute school supplies and shuttling kids to sports practice. But there’s another thing on my to-do list: checking to see if my tween’s vaccines are up to date.

When our kids are small, it seems we’re at the doctor every few months for check-ups and vaccines. But as they get older, the visits to the pediatrician become less frequent. During the summer, I took the older son to the doctor for a physical that his scout camp required. But it’s been over a year since my 10-year-old went for a check-up.

While most of us are diligent in getting our children vaccinated when they are small, we sometimes forget that they need booster shots as they approach their teen years. A recent CBS News report noted that many states are requiring proof of updated shots before kids can enroll in middle and high school.

Here’s a list of vaccines the Centers for Disease Control recommend for teens and tweens.

This week my to-do list is going to include a call to the pediatrician.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 9:40 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

August 30, 2011

Hurricane Irene

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday

Hurricane Irene closed area schools on Monday, but the storm has taught my kids some valuable lessons. For several days they studied meteorology as they watched the Weather Channel to monitor the hurricane as it came toward us. On Saturday, as the rains descended, they were able to study psychology as mom fretted about the possibility of a flooded basement. Then Sunday morning we lost power and the education really began. Here’s what the kids have learned:

1. Science lesson, part 1. When a neighbor’s tree falls on an electric wire, it causes a big explosion.

2. Science lesson, part 2. Almost all the fun things you want to do run on electricity—that includes the TV, computer games, and yes, the beloved Xbox.

3. History lesson. Listening to the Orioles game on a battery-operated radio is very much the way granddaddy used to listen to sports back in the 1940s.

4. Home economics. Honey chicken nuggets fried in a skillet over a propane stove do not taste the same as they do in a toaster oven.

5. Social studies. The generator has two outlets. If one outlet is used to run the refrigerator, you must negotiate with everyone else in the family to use the second. (Note: Mom’s coffee maker gets priority in the morning.)

6. Physical education. Picking up sticks in the yard exercises the backs, stomach, legs and arm muscles.

7. Mathematics. Calculate how many hours the generator can operate on one gallon of gasoline. If the gas costs $3.64 a gallon, how much does it cost to run the generator each hour?

8. Language arts. Books don’t require electricity and with no TV or Internet, there is plenty of time for reading whether you want to or not.

Yes, my kids are learning valuable lessons as a result of the storm, but we’re all getting tired of hurricane school. I’m more than ready to hand over their education to the capable teachers of the Baltimore County Public Schools.

What lessons did you kids learn during Hurricane Irene?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

August 24, 2011

Does social media increase risk for substance abuse among teens?

There are a host of reasons why teenagers use alcohol, drugs and other not-so-great substance: Peer pressure, experimentation, problems at home, among other influences. It's a complicated issue.

Add regular Facebook and other social media usage to that list, according to a new survey.

The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University said today that teens who regularly use Facebook, MySpace and other social networking sites face increased risk of smoking, drinking and drug use.

Unlike teens who do not use social networking sites, students who do likely see photos of kids drunk, passed out or using drugs, helping to normalize the activity, the group says. Compared to teens who avoid such sites, young people who regularly visit them are five times as likely to use tobacco, three times likely to use alcohol and twice as likely to use marijuana.

Here's what the Chicago Tribune found:

"We're not saying (social media) causes it," said Joseph Califano, the center's chairman. "But we are saying that this is a characteristic that should signal to (parents) that, well, you ought to be watching."

The findings are in keeping with a new wave of research into how social networks might affect teen decision-making. Several studies have suggested that Facebook, Myspace and other sites have created a new form of peer pressure, exposing young people to risky behaviors they could be tempted to emulate.

...But some experts warn that the research, like social media itself, is still in its infancy, and that the correlation between social networking and teen substance abuse could be disguising more relevant risk factors. Others contend that bad influences in the real world are much more potent.

What many experts agree on, though, is the importance of parents keeping tabs on their children's Internet activities.

What kind of restrictions do you put on your child's social networking usage? What kind of influence do you think social networking has on teens and substance abuse?

UPDATE (2:47 p.m.) The study's findings are getting some pushback. Check out The Atlantic blog post here and a rebuttal of the study's methodology from an organization called youthfacts.org.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 10:12 AM | | Comments (5)
Categories: Teens
        

August 23, 2011

Dress

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday

As a mother of two boys, I don’t usually follow the latest tween and teen girl fashion trends. But I had to chuckle when I read recently that a new study shows mothers are dressing like their daughters.

The study from Temple University polled 343 mother-daughter pairs (average ages 44 and 16, respectively) asking them about their purchasing decisions, including their choice of brands or products, preferences for particular stores, and preferences for particular styles. The researchers compared the direction of influence from mother to daughter vs. daughter to mother and found that mothers were more likely to be influenced by their daughters than the other way around.

I imagine that news will send tween girls into a panic. But I doubt my boys would pay much attention if I tried to mimic their style. I’d just need to buy a few more T-shirts and khaki shorts and I’d be all set.

How about you? Are you dressing like your daughter?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

August 16, 2011

Tween Tuesday on vacation

Liz Atwood is on vacation this week.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

August 9, 2011

Fame

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday

Never mind the money. Today’s tweens want fame, according to a new study coming out of UCLA and published in the Journal of Psychosocial Research on Cyberspace.

The researchers looked at the values that were prominent, American Idol and Hannah Montana, tweens favorite shows in 2007, and compared those with values found in TV shows in previous decades.

In 1967, The Lucy Show and Andy Griffith, emphasized community and benevolence.

In 1977, the most popular tween shows were Happy Days and Laverne and Shirley, which also stressed the importance of community. In 1987, the shows Alf and Growing Pains stressed acceptance.

In 1997, the focus was back on community with Sabrina the Teenage Witch and Boy Meets World.

But in 2007, those community and acceptance were far down the values list. With American Idol and Hannah Montana the emphasis was on fame, achievement and popularity, the researchers say.

I’m not sure you can sum up tween values by looking only at the TV shows. I’d have to say in my household, money ranks pretty high up the scale. But it’s a fascinating study and gives us something to think about.

Do you think the shows reflect your tween’s values?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

August 2, 2011

Tween Tuesday: Have your tweens grown out of Harry Potter?

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday

I saw that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 reached the billion dollar mark over the weekend and is on its way to being the top-grossing film of the year.

I saw the film while on vacation in Florida, attending a late afternoon show on the Saturday after the movie came out. I found myself struck not so much by what was on the screen (although I enjoyed the movie) as by who was in the seats. Most in the audience were adults — many of them baby boomers — and they weren’t there with their kids.

I know the original fans of the books and movies have grown up, but I still think of the Harry Potter movies as children’s films. My tween, who has seen all the Harry Potter films, liked the last. But many of his friends have not seen the movies and don’t plan to see this one.

Is your tween a Harry Potter fan or is that just so yesterday?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 7:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

July 26, 2011

Tween Tuesday: Grandparents -- another story

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday

A couple days ago, Hanah wrote about grandparents being the best babysitters, and often that is true. But I have found there is a serious drawback to grandparents as babysitters — you can’t fire them.

My sons’ grandmother spends part of her time overseas and part of her time living with us. And she is in many ways a terrific grandmother — helping the boys with their homework, cooking meals and washing their clothes. If I have to work late, it is a great comfort knowing the kids aren’t alone.

But too often, I feel, she spoils the children. In her effort to help them, she does too much for them — carrying dinner to them in the family room, not insisting they clean up after themselves, doing their chores when they complain of being too tired or busy. If they want a new video game, they ask her and she buys it.

I have repeatedly stressed how important it is for the boys to be held accountable. I have stressed how much we need her to help instill values of hard work and responsibility. I’m sure on some level she understands and believes this, but she cannot help but spoiling the kids. I’m sure I’m not the only parent who faces this dilemma, but I cannot figure out a good way to handle this and still keep peaceful relations.

Readers, give Liz a hand -- how do you deal with grandparents who spoil your children?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 7:00 AM | | Comments (4)
Categories: Teens
        

July 19, 2011

Comics

Here's Liz Atwod in this week's Tween Tuesday:

In the past, I’ve written about my kids’ aversion to reading. Although I try to get them to read every day, I caught my tween cheating a couple weeks ago. He was supposed to be reading “Percy Jackson and the Olympians,” and even though he had seen the movie, he chose the book and said he liked it. I became suspicious when he seemed to be zipping through the chapters a little too fast. When I questioned him about what he had read, it became clear he was recalling the movie, and not the book.

But last week, we were in on vacation in Orlando and spent the day in Universal Studios’ Islands of Adventure theme park. As we entered the park, our path was blocked by a half dozen or so super heroes riding very loud four wheelers. We snapped a few pictures and moved on, but later that day, as we were leaving the park in a thunderstorm, my son insisted on stopping by the comic book store. There he chose four comic books and spent the rest of the evening reading.

The next day, he was asking for more. We found a comic book shop and he again spent the night reading, transfixed by the adventures of Captain America, Venom and the Black Panther.

According to the Comic Chronicles comic books sales are sinking. But the business seems to have a new patron. At $4 a comic, I’m not sure I can afford to keep up with my son’s new-found passion. But if comics get him to read, I’ll consider the money a good investment.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (3)
Categories: Teens
        

July 12, 2011

Camping

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday:

What would summer be without a camping trip? That’s what I’ve been trying to tell my 10-year-old as we prepare for a weekend camp out. I tell him it will be great; he can eat s’mores, sing campfire songs, pee on a tree.

But he isn’t looking forward to it. He complains that there will be bugs. He’s afraid of snakes.
He hasn’t really liked camping for some time now, and since he was stung by a bee a couple weeks ago, he’s affection for nature has plummeted to an all-time low.

Still, I try to rally him with the idea of shooting BB guns. “You like shooting in the video games? Well, we will be REAL soldiers,” I say.

“I want to play soldier, not BE one,” he answers.

“Canoeing will be fun,” I say. “We’ll be just like the Indians.”

“I don’t want to be an Indian,” he tells me.

“You like s’mores,” I remind him.

He can’t argue with that.

So we’re setting off -- armed with mosquito netting and lots of bug spray.

Hopefully, we won’t see any snakes.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

July 5, 2011

Work

Here's Liz Atwood in this week's Tween Tuesday:

School has been out a couple weeks. My 14-year-old has been to camp and back. And the boredom is starting to set in. And with the boredom comes the teasing and bickering. I really think it’s time my kids went to work.

The older one has a small pet-sitting service, but I’m thinking he needs a real job. I recently
learned that kids 14 and older can legally work in Maryland and I’ve started to see his classmates working in ice cream stands and restaurants. Yes, there are a few complications: he doesn’t drive and, with the economy still in a slump, there aren’t a lot of jobs for young teens. Still, I think it’s time he started to polish up the resume and pound the streets.

As for the 10-year-old, I need to find some more chores for him to do around the house to pry him away from the video games. Walking the dog for 15 minutes in the evening isn’t enough. He’s a strong, sturdy boy. He could at least pull weeds in the garden.

One mother I know has her tween boys do the laundry and clean the house. I might have to overlook some mistakes like pink socks and missed dust bunnies, but if it will help keep peace, it’s the price I’m willing to pay.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 10:13 AM | | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

June 28, 2011

Dinner party

To include or not include: Liz Atwood debates whether to have children at dinner parties in this week's Tween Tuesday:

Recently, I held a dinner party for some friends and debated whether to include the kids. On the one hand, I’m a big proponent of family meals and I didn’t feel right excluding them. I think both kids and adults can learn from talking to each other. On the other hand, four of my guests do not have children and the idea of having to mind the kids’ manners while overseeing the dinner party was more than I could bear.

I decided to give the kids the choice of attending. Both opted out, although several times during the evening I asked the boys if they’d like to join us.

The older one pretty much stayed in his room although he ventured out once to say hello. The younger one mingled a bit more and joined us for dessert on the patio.

I had a good time and it was easier for me to socialize without worrying about my kids’ behavior, but I wondered how other parents handle these situations.

Do you usually include your kids in your dinner parties? If so, how do you manage it?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

June 21, 2011

Vacation list

Here's Liz Atwood in this week's Tween Tuesday:

Hooray for summer vacation! Yes, I know that soon the kids will be whining that they are bored and I’ll be complaining that they’re spending too much time watching TV and playing video games. But let me list my Top 10 reasons I’m glad school is out:

10. Less laundry. If my son wears the same T-shirt two days in a row, who will notice?

9. No more waiting in the car rider line to drop my kid off to school and putting up with those parents who take way too long to say good-bye to their kids.

8. I don’t have to go out at night to buy pencils because my son suddenly remembers he doesn’t have any.

7. No more yelling for my kid to get up or he’ll be late for school.

6. No PTA fundraisers.

5. No homework!

4. No more checking to see if my son has pencils.

3. I don’t have to pack lunches at the crack of dawn and debate whether this is the peanut
butter or turkey sandwich day.

2. We won’t have to rush out of the house every morning like crazy people escaping the asylum.

1. No more notes from the teacher saying my son doesn’t have pencils.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

June 14, 2011

Tween Tuesday: Summer reads

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's installment of Tween Tuesday

School is almost out and while my kids probably fantasize about sleeping late and playing video games all day, that’s not going to happen. I didn’t buy the summer work packets this year, but I’m a firm believer in another tradition — summer reading.

I wish I could say my boys love to read, but they don’t. They start into books, but always seem to get bored and want to give up. I’m sure that it’s because books just don’t move as quickly as movies, TV shows and video games. The trick is to keep them interested.

The National Summer Learning Association, based in Baltimore, has a lot of great resources, including these tips on how to find books for the summer read.

Libraries across the country are sponsoring programs to encourage the kids to read by adding in contests, crafts and games. The theme for many libraries this summer, including the Enoch Pratt in Baltimore, is One World, Many Stories.

Scholastic has joined with PBS Kids to sponsor another reading competition and has lots of resources and suggested books. Many schools also offer reading lists — some suggested and some required.

If you have any other ideas of how to motivate the reluctant tween reader, I’d like to hear about it.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 12:05 PM | | Comments (5)
        

June 7, 2011

Summer daycare

Liz Atwood discusses when is a good age to leave the kids home alone during the summer in this week's Tween Tuesday:

School is winding down. My fourth grader came home Friday and announced he would have no more homework until fifth grade. But while I’m sure parents and kids can breathe a sigh of relief over that, parents know that in some ways the work and worry is just beginning when the kids get out of school.

The biggest problem for many parents is who will be looking after the kids when school is out. Many parents of tweens are asking themselves if this might be the year the kids are old enough to stay home alone—at least for a few hours each day. By the time our kids hit middle school, the traditional daycare arrangements often are no longer a good fit. Some facilities won’t take children after they are out of elementary school and camps usually don’t last all summer. And as kids get older, they become more reluctant to spend their entire summer in a structured environment.

Are you thinking this might be the summer to let your tween stay home alone? If not, when do you think it’s OK?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

May 31, 2011

Tree climbing

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday:

When I was a kid, I could hardly pass a tree without considering whether it would be a good climbing tree or not. But do kids still climb trees?

My older son used to like to climb trees, although we don’t have any in our yard with branches low enough to reach. Sometimes he would climb a neighbor’s pine tree and get covered with the sticky sap. But I can’t recall seeing my tween ever climbing a tree. He is happy to play video games and figure out all kinds of strategies for the characters to climb, leap, crawl and fly. And a few times he has climbed on those climbing walls at fairs and carnivals. But a tree? I don’t think he has.

I started to wonder if this lack of interest in tree climbing was common condition among tweens and so I turned to the Internet. And, of course, I soon found sites for tree climbing associations and even a tree-climbing how-to.

What surprised me about these sites, however, was how tree climbing is no longer a spur-of-the-moment thing; it has become a sport with its own equipment, including rope, harnesses and helmets.

Now I am sure this will upset some folks, but when it comes to tree climbing, I’m a purist. I believe tree climbing is an art that doesn’t need to be corrupted by all sorts of equipment. I recognize that many kids have fallen out of trees and been hurt. But I think one reason kids don’t want to play outside anymore is that it has become such a hassle. By the time they put on the pads and helmets, gathering up equipment or locate a “safe” place to play, they lose interest. It’s so much easier to turn on the TV or play video games.

So with summer around the corner, I’m going to try to loosen up a bit. Yes, I want my son to still put on a helmet when he rides his bike, but if he wants to go exploring in the woods, I’m not going to remind him to stay out of the poison ivy or watch for snakes. If he wants to play basketball in the court, I’m not going to tell him to watch out for cars. And if he wants to climb a tree, I’m not going to require him to get a rope and wear a helmet.

After all, fun should still be fun.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 10:52 AM | | Comments (4)
Categories: Teens
        

May 24, 2011

Growing up

Here's Liz Atwood in this week's Tween Tuesday:

This week, my tween son informed me that he no longer is having friends over for “play dates.” Instead, when friends come over, they are “hanging out.” It’s just another reminder that the 10-year-old isn’t a little kid any more.

I slipped a few times, but I’m trying to adjust to the new lingo.

That exchange got me to thinking about those other ways our kids remind us that they are growing up. Here are some other ways that come to mind:

1. The kids want privacy in the bathroom and no longer need help in the bath or shower.
2. The homework math isn’t as easy as it used to be and you may have to turn to the textbook or Internet to get the answers.
3. The kids have learned all the cuss words, plus some you didn’t know.
4. Suddenly appearances matter and even the boys care about looking cool.
5. They want to play M-rated video games, but will still tune in to SpongeBob Squarepants.

How do you know your tween is growing up?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

May 17, 2011

Camp

Liz Atwood discusses preparing kids for their first overnight trips in this week's Tween Tuesday:

Parents and kids soon will be getting ready for summer camp, but a recent experience has me wondering all over again the best way to prepare kids for their first sleep-away experience.

My 10-year-old just returned from his first scout camp out without me. When he was a Cub Scout, I always went along on the camping trips, but last weekend, he and his older brother went off on a campout and I stayed behind. I wasn’t too worried. My son has been with this scout den for four years, and, after all, older brother was there to look after him.

It turns out my confidence was a bit misguided. My son ended up getting homesick and having nightmares. Older brother was sound asleep in a different tent and knew nothing of it. Kudos to the leaders who calmed him down and helped him through the night, but now I wonder what to do about another trip that’s coming up in a couple weeks. I haven’t mentioned it to him yet, thinking I’ll let the memories of this recent trip fade a bit.

But I wonder if it’s best to get right back into an overnight trip or to wait a few more months before trying again.

Any suggestions?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

May 10, 2011

Parent driving

Liz Atwood talks about setting an example for her kids when she drives in this week's Tween Tuesday:  

Maryland has banned talking on cell phones and texting while driving. Speed cameras are going up in many counties. But how safe is your driving? 
         
A new  national survey commissioned by Ford Motor Co. finds that teens and tweens say their parents are riskier drivers than they claim.  While nearly all parents say they are safe drivers and good role models for their kids, the survey found 82 percent of teens report seeing their parents be careless behind the wheel.
        
I can’t recall my tween ever telling me to slow down. He usually says I’m driving too slow and can’t understand why I don’t pass a car even if there is a yellow line on my side. But my soon-to-be 15 year old has taken note, at times telling me to watch the road if I seem distracted.

The Ford survey found that three quarters of tweens say they will rely heavily on their parents' advice when they start to drive. I think it’s true. I remember very little about what my driver’s ed teacher told me, but I well remember my father fussing at me when I rolled through a stop sign on a rural road near our home when I still had my learner’s permit. To this day, I always hear my father’s voice if I don’t stop completely at a stop sign.

It won’t be long before I’ll be the one in the passenger’s seat teaching a teen to drive. But in some real ways, I’m already teaching my children by the example I set.

 

 

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Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

May 3, 2011

Sleepover

Liz Atwood discusses whether she did the right think by hosting a co-ed sleepover at her house in this week's Tween Tuesday:

I can’t believe I did this. I hosted a co-ed sleepover.

OK, before you send the hate mail telling me I’m a bad mom, let me tell you how it happened. My tween turned 10 this past weekend and he wanted to invite a few friends over for pizza and cake. Sounded good to me. After years of coming up with party themes—pirates, Star Wars, frogs and Spiderman—it was a relief not to buy coordinated decorations and plan the entertainment.

The guests were two boys and a girl from his class. And while I didn’t plan games, I did buy a few balloons, napkins and party favors. I pulled out an old plastic tablecloth featuring Elmo and some cups from a SpongeBob party. It was quite a mishmash, but no one cared. The kids ran around outside playing soldier and capture the flag. They later played video games and watched a little TV.

The plan was for the boys to sleep over and the girl to go home around 9. But when her mother came to pick her up, she begged to spend the night. Actually, all the kids begged. And so we relinquished. I know, I know. We failed to enforce the rules and set boundaries. But you never caved in to your kid?

She slept upstairs in my son’s bedroom. The boys slept downstairs in the family room in sleeping bags. Everyone went to bed at 11 and the kids were great. They actually slept, and the next morning, they got up, ate breakfast and played more video games before the parents came to pick them up.

Maybe I have set a dangerous precedent, but this little girl seemed perfectly happy being “one of the boys” and it felt unfair to send her home while the boys stayed.

But I’m wondering if I did the right thing.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (3)
Categories: Teens
        

April 26, 2011

Mom diet

Liz Atwood discusses the difficulty of maintaining a healthy diet in this week's Tween Tuesday:

Five weeks until Memorial Day. That means five weeks until it’s swimsuit season. Once again, I’ve started to diet, trying to lose those stubborn 10 pounds that I’ve been fighting for the past couple years. It’s easy to lose two or three pounds. I can even lose five with some concerted effort, but 10—that’s a challenge.

I recently read about other moms bloggers having the same struggle. Katherine Stone writes about how difficult it has been to control her weight since she turned 40. Let me tell you, sister, it is even harder when you turn 50.

Of course as we age, our metabolism slows down. But another reason, we moms know, it that our kids tempt us with all sorts of fattening foods. Recently, my boys asked me to take them for ice cream. I drove them to the local Baskin-Robbins and decided I would be good and refrain from ordering anything for myself. My 9-year-old said he was starving and ordered an Oreo sundae. He took three bites and decided he was full and wanted to take it home. I sat looking at the melting treat and asked him if I could have a spoonful. Yes, he said. But when I took a bite, he said he didn’t want to eat it anymore because he didn’t want my germs! I ended up eating the entire sundae rather than throw it out.

Last week, I took the boys for pizza. The same thing happened. The younger one said he didn’t like the pizza he ordered. I ended up eating two personal pizzas!

I try to resist eating my kids leftovers, but when the food has hardly been touched, I have a hard time throwing it out. But if I’m ever going to lose those 10 pounds, I know I must get used to the idea of passing on the food the kids have left.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

April 19, 2011

Tween Tuesday: Time to have "the talk"

Liz Atwood discusses when to have "the talk" with your daughters in this week's Tween Tuesday. Have you had the talk with your daughter? That’s the question Kotex is asking on its website, which offers advice to moms on how to talk to their daughters about menstruation. The site then links to Kotex’s new line of products U by Kotex Tween—feminine products designed for smaller bodies and packaged in a glimmering box. At first I was surprised when I read about this in the New York Times. As the mother of boys, I wasn’t aware that girls today are starting their periods as young as 8. And a sparkly box for feminine products? Who ever thought having a period could be glamorous? But after giving it some thought, it makes sense to design feminine hygiene products for young girls. While tweens may have started their periods, their bodies aren’t yet grown. A glittery box might not relieve the anxiety that comes with the start of menstruation, but an honest conversation with mom probably will. Among the site’s advice to moms:

Continue reading "Tween Tuesday: Time to have "the talk"" »

Posted by Hanah Cho at 7:00 AM | | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

April 12, 2011

Vacations

Liz Atwood discusses finding appropriate vacation spots for her boys in this week's Tween Tuesday:

My sons are almost five years apart in age and when we’re talking about kids that can be a big difference. The older brother has always been a step ahead in his interests and privileges, and the younger is often trying to emulate and play catch up. These days they enjoy playing basketball and video games together, and as they grow older I’m sure they’ll find even more common interests.

But recently this age difference has played a big part in a disagreement over where to go on the family vacation. The 9-year-old, who loves watching TV programs on the Nickelodeon channel, is lobbying to go to Orlando and stay in the Nickelodeon Hotel. His dream vacation is to splash in a water park, play video games in the hotel room, and get green slime poured on his head.

The 14-year-old, meanwhile, wants to go to Los Angeles and see Beverly Hills, check out the homes of his favorite movie stars, visit museums and eat in fine (and expensive) restaurants.

I’ve been trying to forge a compromise. I suppose we could split the country down the middle and take a vacation in, say, Kansas, but I’m not sure that will satisfy anyone. I’ve suggested we visit Orlando this year and Los Angeles next, but then I hear I’m playing favorites.  I’ve urged them to come up with a place we all could enjoy, but so far, we’re at an impasse that makes the Democratic and Republican budget negotiations seem easy.

Any suggestions?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (2)
Categories: Teens
        

April 5, 2011

Encouragement for Japanese earthquake victims

Liz Atwood discusses ways children can send encouragement to victims of the Japanese earthquake and tsunami in this week's Tween Tuesday:

It’s been nearly a month since the earthquake and tsunami struck Japan. My first thought was that Japan has the resources and manpower would be able to handle it. But as the weeks have dragged on, I’m reminded that human suffering is not contained within national borders. As Hurricane Katrina showed the United States, even those who live in wealthy countries can be devastated by natural disaster. The events in Japan have claimed more than 10,000 lives. Many, including many children, have been left homeless. More than 6,000 schools were damaged.
A few days ago, my friend and former Sun colleague Chiaki Kawajiri, told me of an easy way we can send messages to the children who were affected by the earthquake, tsunami and nuclear disasters. We also can send words of encouragement to the rescue workers who still labor valiantly to bring the crisis under control.

Here’s what you can do:
First, you can go to
http://tohokujishin.wordpress.com/how-to-write-a-message-to-the-japanese-people/
and read how to write comments

then go to
http://tohokujishin.wordpress.com/2011/03/16/thinking-of-you/
to leave a message for earthquake victims.

You can also go to
http://tohokujishin.wordpress.com/2011/03/16/thank-you-for-your-help/
to leave a message for rescue workers.

Chiaki is also organizing an effort to send pictures to the children of Japan. She writes:
“If there are children who would like to draw pictures (regular copy
paper size 8.5 by 11 in) to comfort and encourage children of Japan, we
would be grateful. Please scan/photograph each image as many as you like, then email me at
hopeforjapanesechildren@gmail.com as soon as possible.”
I wanted to pass this along in case your children or their classes would like to help.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

March 29, 2011

Bullying?

Liz Atwood wonders what bullying is these days with the heightened awareness of the issue in this week's Tween Tuesday:

We’ve all heard the horrific stories about children committing suicide after being subjected to merciless bullying. Schools, politicians and child advocates have been working recently to raise awareness of the issue, coming up with educational programs and laws to protect children from harassment by their peers. Even President Obama weighed in at a conference earlier this month describing his own experiences of being bullied as a kid. But I’m not sure all this new attention is helping us understand what bullying really is.

Last week, my 9-year-old came home from school with a note saying he had been kicked by a girl. When he told me what happened, his first words were “I was bullied.” I should explain that my son is big for his age and not the kind of child one would think of as a victim. In fact, he had to serve after-school detention several months ago when he and some of his pals dared another boy to lick a toilet.

So all this brings up the question, when is bad behavior really bullying? I’m not condoning either the toilet seat incident or the kicking, but I don’t think either was what I consider bullying. But my son’s first reaction when the girl kicked him was to tell her he was going to report her for bullying. I think we need a better understanding of what bullying is and make sure our children get the message.

Do you sense the same confusion in your schools?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

March 22, 2011

Easier to raise boys than girls?

Liz Atwood talks about whether boys or girls are harder to raise in this week's Tween Tuesday:

I always said it’s a good thing God gave me boys. I don’t have to worry about combing their hair or buying the latest fashions. But boys present their own challenges. Last weekend I was the only female tagging along on a Boy Scout outing to the Blue Ridge Mountains. I had no trouble hiking the trails and scrambling over boulders. I was even able to over look the fart jokes. But after a 10-mile hike and a two-hour drive back to Baltimore, I really was looking forward to resting the next day. My 9-year-old had other plans, however. While I was trying to take a nap, he barged into the bedroom with a basketball, insisting that I join him in a game. At first I refused, then feeling guilty, I agreed.

One thing about boys is they seem to go non-stop--unless they are fixated on a video game. And in my house, it always seems the wrestling and roughhousing start just as I’m trying to get them settled down for bed. I’m sure the parents of girls struggle with their own issues. Girls can be more emotional and have lower self-esteem. But when Parenting.com looked into whether it is harder to raise boys or girls, the website concluded that, in many ways, boys are harder.

I’m not sure whether raising boys is more difficult, but I believe they are more physically demanding. I try to exercise regularly, not only for my health, but to keep up with my sons. I never know when I’ll be summoned to play a game of touch football or one-on-one basketball.

What do you think—are boys harder to raise than girls?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (2)
Categories: Teens
        

March 15, 2011

Facebook

Liz Atwood discusses underage users of Facebook in this week's Tween Tuesday:

I don’t know of any parent who would let their child lie about his age in order to buy cigarettes or a beer. But would you let your child lie about his age to sign up for FaceBook? According to a recent article in the New York Times, many parents are doing just that. FaceBook, MySpace and similar networking sites require users to be at least 13 in order to avoid federal regulations.  But some parents are allowing their kids to lie about their age or even setting accounts up for them.

I’ll admit that I was one of these parents a while back. My tween son wanted a FaceBook account like his older brother had. His brother and I were his only friends on FaceBook, but eventually someone at the site must have caught on and deleted his account. Recently he asked me to recreate it again. This time, I said no, mainly because I don’t see any reason for him to have an account now.

Do you know elementary-age children who have accounts on FaceBook or MySpace? Have you allowed your underage children to sign up these sites?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

March 8, 2011

Science fair

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday.

It’s that time of year when the tri-fold poster boards are flying off the shelves and there’s a fresh run on glue sticks, construction paper and all sorts of odd supplies. Yes, it’s science fair time. You know your child isn’t a baby any more when the teachers send home the notice that your child will be expected to conduct a research experiment and write a report on the findings. Kids will be trying to figure out how to get plants to grow, what solutions are best at cleaning pennies and what paper towels are most absorbent.

This spring marks the first science fair for my 9-year-old, but having already gone through several of these with my older son, I’ve realized the supply most required for these projects is a great amount of patience. There will inevitably be the frayed nerves, temper tantrums and tears. And of course when the projects are presented, parents will gossip over which children did the work themselves and which had too much assistance from grown-ups. I know some parents hate the science fairs, but I always found them an interesting detraction from the usual homework of reading logs and math work sheets. Getting the kids to buy into the assignment is another matter, however.

My son has been working just a few days and we’ve already had arguments over his not wanting to read the books he took out of the library for his report. But I hope when he finally gets to do the experiment—knocking over models in simulated earthquakes-- he’ll get more enthusiastic about his project.

Are you in the midst of science fair season? How is it going at your house?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

March 2, 2011

Fame

Here's Liz Atwood in this week's Tween Tuesday:

Billy Ray Cyrus is worried that fame is destroying daughter Miley, according to the headlines. I’m sure that such exposure won’t be a problem for my perfectly normal and, at times, underachieving boys. And while I may nag them to do better in their studies and urge them to get involved in extracurricular activities, I’m not sure I have what it takes to be the parent of someone in the spotlight.

This became clear to me over the weekend when one of my sons was in a recreational league basketball tournament. I sat in the bleachers along with about a dozen other parents cheering our team on, but I was astounded as the cheering turned ugly—and personal. The parents began to criticize the referees, the coach and the other children.

In a couple cases, the unsportsmanlike remarks were directed toward my son, who missed a layup and a few rebounds. “He can’t jump,” one parent said. “He’s always like that,” another said.

My boys have both been involved in sports since they were in second grade, but this was a new experience for me. Perhaps I should have told the other parents they were setting a poor example for their kids, but I kept quiet. I know as kids grow older, the competition grows more intense and I’m going to have to develop a thicker skin if my boys keep playing sports.

But this time, when my son’s team lost in overtime, the coach and I were the first out the door.

Have you heard other parents criticize your child in a performance or sporting event? What’s the proper response?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 10:03 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

February 22, 2011

Culture wars

Liz Atwood discusses the culture wars in this week's Tween Tuesday:

Lucky me. The Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition arrived in the mail last week. It’s a dream come true for adolescent boys. But while my sons took turns ogling this year’s swim fashions (that look remarkably like last year’s and the year before, as best I can tell), I’m reminded that today’s kids are growing up in a much more sexually charged environment than when I was growing up ---and since I grew up in the 1960s and 1970s, that’s saying something. Yes, I was a teen when Rod Stewart came out with Tonight’s the Night. But for all the provocative lyrics (some of which were in French), there was much left to the imagination. That was before MTV and Youtube videos.

Today the kids listen to the music on their iPods and then rush to Youtube to click on the videos. And that puts parents and teachers in a predicament when it comes to the annual variety show at my kid’s elementary school. Every year some of the young girls choose songs I would think way over their heads. Some dress the parts as well. If you ever saw the talent competition in the movie Little Miss Sunshine, you know what I’m talking about.

Recently I sat in on tryouts and watched as parents and teachers tried to dissuade a couple girls from dancing to the Black Eyed Peas “I Gotta Feeling.” On the face of it, that seems like a fine song. The group led off its Super Bowl performance with the tune. But click on the video and you’ll see lots of drinking, lewd behavior and people falling-down drunk or high. 

I know this battle isn’t new. When Elvis was on the Ed Sullivan Show, the producers refused show him below the waist. Still, call me a prude, but when my son turns on his favorite rap station and the singer talks about taking a girl from the shower to the bed, that’s too much. We had a big battle in the car a few days ago because I kept turning off the radio.

I wonder if we parents are fighting a losing cultural battle in the culture wars?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

February 15, 2011

Tree octopus

Liz Atwood talks about deciphering truth vs. fiction on the Internet in this week's Tween Tuesday

If it’s on the Internet, it must be true, right? At least that’s what many children believe, according to a recent study at the University of Connecticut. The researchers asked a group of seventh graders to research the tree octopus and directed them to a website for information. According to the site, the rare creature lives in the rainforests on the West Coast.  It has eight arms and a soft body, just like a regular octopus. But it doesn’t exist; the website was bogus. Nevertheless, the students who saw the site thought it was real.

The researchers say this study points out the need to better develop the kids’ critical thinking skills and teach them to question information — even that found on the Internet.

While schools bear some of the responsibility, certainly we as parents do as well. We need to be clear to our children that not everything they read is true and to teach them strategies for evaluating the information they find on the Internet.

Here are some tips:
1.       What is the source of the information?
2.       Is this information only on one site? Is the site reputable, such as a government or education site (hint: URL ends in edu or gov)
3.       Does the information seem credible?

 

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

February 8, 2011

Makeup for tweens

Liz Atwood wonders when girls should start wearing makeup in this week's Tween Tuesday:

When should girls start wearing makeup? This age-old question came up again recently with news that later this month Wal-mart will introduce a makeup line for 8-12 year-old girls. Makeup for young girls isn't new, of course. Stores already feature Barbie, Disney and Hello Kitty makeup.

But when retailing giant Wal-mart offers something new, people take notice. Its geoGirl line will offer 69 items, including blush, mascara, lipstick and face shimmer. An accompanying website will provide how-to videos.

Is all this too much for girls as young as 8?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

February 1, 2011

Tiger mothers

Here's more discussion from Liz Atwood about "Tiger mothers" in this week's Tween Tuesday:

Tiger mothers are all the rage. “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” Amy Chua’s parenting memoir, has shot to No. 2 on The New York Times best-sellers list.  Chua’s account of raising her daughters with strict rules and high expectations landed her on the cover of Time magazine and guest spots on TV news shows. Last week, I noticed on the bulletin board at my neighborhood Giant an advertisement for a local Tiger mothers club.

Chua’s book also has ignited debate about which parenting style is most effective. And while experts weigh in on the matter, I suspect most of us in the trenches are engaged in another round of questioning and self-doubt.

I tell my friends who don’t have kids that parenting is the hardest job anyone could ever have. Although babies do not come with instruction manuals, there is no shortage of advice. Even before their children are born, women are besieged with advice on everything from breastfeeding and diapering to college savings plans. Grandparents are eager to step in and tell you when you’re not doing something right. Friends give their thoughts. Child-rearing experts appear in magazines and in blogs spouting varying and often contradictory advice. We’re told punishment can destroy a child’s self esteem or that being too lenient will set the child up for failure later in life.

I’ll admit that when it comes to parenting, I’m more of a kitten than a tiger. Nearly every time I interact with my boys, I hear dozens of contradictory voices in my head. What would my mother do? What would my friends do? And now, what would Amy Chua do?

This week, when I again was complaining to my 14-year-old that he spends too much time watching TV, I brought up the subject of Amy Chua’s strict parenting philosophy.  I asked if he had wondered why so many of the students he had seen win band competitions, science fairs and even black history contests were of Asian descent. “I’m not Asian,” he said, to which I replied, “It’s not genetics. It’s desire and discipline.” And though I didn’t say so, I thought, it’s also parenting.
My son answered, “You want things for me that I don’t want.”

And I guess that’s what it comes down to. Regardless of our parenting styles, we want our children to succeed. But they need to first accept our version of success, or no parenting approach, no matter how tough or lenient, will work in the long run.

So that brings up the question, how do we get them to buy into our version of success?

 

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

January 25, 2011

Whiz kid

Liz Atwood talks about the possibility that playing video games aren't too bad for her kids in this week's Tween Tuesday:

Like many parents, I worry my kids spend way too much time playing video games. I’ve tried to limit the amount of time they play, but it’s difficult. Unless I’m very vigilant, the time slips by and they can end up spending hours staring at the screen. But as much as I hate to admit it, maybe the games aren’t so bad.

A couple days ago, I went to our local video game store to buy a new game for my 9-year old. I struck up a conversation with the clerk at the counter and expressed my concern that the game my son wanted might be too violent or addictive. The young man told me he was playing a similar game when he was 9. “And see what happened to you!” I joked. To which he replied that he was finishing his last year in undergraduate school and he would be going to Johns Hopkins University for his PhD in clinical psychology.

And then comes the news that a 14-year-old Utah boy has created the most popular iPod app—a physics game that has been downloaded 2 million times. He even has created his own video game company. He started out designing his first web site when he was in third grade!

So while I’m not sure I have any budding game developers or doctoral students, the games might not be as harmful as I thought.

 

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

January 18, 2011

Movies

 

 

Liz Atwood discusses movies and the Academy Awards in this week's Tween Tuesday:

The Social Network and The King’s Speech took the top honors at this week’s Golden Globe Awards.  I’d seen them both and thought both were terrific. But I didn’t see either one with my kids and so I started to think of the best movies I had shared with my boys in 2010.

We enjoyed Toy Story 3, which I thought might have been the best of the series. We also liked Shrek Forever After and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part I. Alice in Wonderland was a visual delight. And while not exactly children’s fare, I thought True Grit was a great movie.

I can’t make up my mind. The Academy Awards nominations will be out next week, but there isn’t a category for Best Family Movie. If there were, which 2010 film would you nominate?

 

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

January 11, 2011

Christmas gifts already getting old?

Liz Atwood laments the fact that her boys are getting tired of their Christmas gifts already in this week's Tween Tuesday.

There should be a rule against kids getting bored of their Christmas toys when holiday decorations are still up. That’s already happening in my house. Just 17 days after Christmas, the kids are wanting me to spend money on new clothes, books and gadgets.

The older boy wants a new backpack. The younger one is asking for a new book. Yes, all right, the strap on the old backpack is tearing. And what parent can refuse to give a kid a book? But couldn’t they have asked for those things a month ago?

Meanwhile, they’re already tired of the video games they bought with their Christmas money and the electric scooter from Santa hasn’t been touched in days.

Is this happening to you? I wish the Christmas gifts kept giving a little longer.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

January 4, 2011

Smart tweens

Liz Atwood talks about why being smart is still not considered cool by some teens in this week's Tween Tuesday:

Why are some tweens afraid of being called smart? The other day, I was taking my 9-year-old to the video game store and we were discussing what he could buy with his Christmas money. The games he suggested not only seemed too violent, to my thinking they also seemed absolutely pointless. “Why don’t you get a game that challenges your brain or teaches you something?” I asked him. He scrunched up his face and replied, “What do you think I’m some kind of nerd?”

I know parents of tween and teen girls often worry that their daughters are afraid to participate in class discussions for fear of being seen as too smart. Some girls may focus their attention on their appearance and worry that being smart will make them unpopular.

But I’ve seen my boys have similar concerns. Sometimes they think that if they show an interest in academics they won’t be considered cool. I’m sure not every tween feels this way, but a shocking number do and it’s a real shame. We need to find a way to make being smart seem cool.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

December 28, 2010

Road games

Liz Atwood discusses keeping kids occupied on car trips in this week's Tween Tuesday:

I took the kids to Virginia to see my family for Christmas and I thought we’d never get there. The drive is only about 2 1/2 hours, but the kids whined about being hungry and bored. A half-charged iPad kept them occupied for a while, but they eventually got tired of that. The return trip was even worse. They picked at each other constantly. The iPad ran out of power. They were tired of sitting. I kept trying to think of games to play like we did when they were small. We used to play the alphabet game—trying to pick out letters from the signs along the road, but they weren’t interested this time. We played a couple rounds of 20 Questions, but we all got bored after a while, mainly because the younger one cheats and halfway through changes his mind about what he’s thinking of.

But a couple days ago, I found this web site that features games to play in the car. While my trip is over, I thought if you’re traveling this week you might be able to get some ideas for how to keep your kids occupied. Do you have any other games you and your kids play?

Posted by baltimoresun.com at 6:30 AM | | Comments (4)
Categories: Teens, Travel
        

December 21, 2010

The Santa talk

Liz Atwood discusses having the Santa talk with her son in this week's Tween Tuesday:

 This week my 9-year-old and I had the Santa talk. He started it by asking if he could stay up Christmas Eve and watch me put the presents under the tree. I told him of course not. He went on to say how he knows the truth about Santa and insisted he should be able to stay up late Friday night.

As my kids have gotten older, Santa has evolved. He isn’t just one jolly, fat man who brings toys down the chimney. Long ago, they noticed that there are many different Santas in the stores, malls and parades. So now I tell my kids that Santa represents the magic and joy of the season. They stubbornly tell me they don’t believe in Santa Claus, but just as stubbornly, I tell them that I still do. And I gave my son strict warning that he is not to spoil the fun for those children who, like me, want to believe.

Have you had the Santa talk this year? What’s been your answer to all those doubters?

 

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (4)
Categories: Teens
        

December 14, 2010

Christmas traditions

Liz Atwood talks about Christmas traditions in this week's Tween Tuesday

Do you recall the scene in the classic movie A Christmas Story where Ralphie’s aunt gives him a rabbit costume and his parents make him put it on? Poor kid, he was so embarrassed.

Well, I don’t dress my sons in costumes or even make them wear matching sweaters, but I have one Christmas tradition that I’m sure they would like to forego.  Ever since my older son’s first Christmas when he was four months old, I have taken a picture of him holding a plastic reindeer. When his brother came along, I took a picture of him with the reindeer as well.  I always pose them in the same chair and holding the same reindeer I picked up at a flea market long ago.

Don’t ask me why I do it. I have no idea. Although I had a reindeer just like this one when I was a kid, my parents didn’t take pictures of me with it.  My sons, now 9 and 14, moan and groan about posing with the reindeer each year. One day they will probably be in a psychiatrist’s office recounting how their mother humiliated them at Christmas each year. But, I’m going to try to get them to do it again this year. Perhaps I can bribe them with Christmas cookies or extra video game time.

Do you have any holiday traditions at your house that you just don’t want to do without no matter how old the kids are?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

December 7, 2010

Christmas shopping

 

 

(Algerina Perna/The Baltimore Sun)

Liz Atwood talks about teens and gift buying in this week's Tween Tuesday:

The decorations are up, the gifts have been ordered. We’re in full holiday mode at my house. Naturally the kids want to join in. Twice this past weekend the boys wanted a ride to the mall so they could buy presents. Of course, that meant they were looking out for presents THEY wanted as well.

I wonder how many parents have faced this situation: The kids see something they want to buy for a parent, sibling, friend, etc. and ask to “borrow” the money. I remember my grandmother used to take me to buy presents for my mom. While I may have picked out the present, my grandmother paid the bill. Of course when children are small, they don’t have much money. And I know some of you will say, it’s the thought that counts – let the kid make you a nice hand-crafted decoration. But as the kids get older, their gift-giving becomes more ambitious. They want to go beyond the handmade ornament. Presumably, their wallets grow as they grow older. Tweens can earn an allowance or take small jobs. So when they have their own money, should they buy their own presents?

How much freedom should a tween be given in shopping for and buying gifts? Do you drop your tween off at the mall and let him spend his own money? Do you give him a budget? Do you accompany him as he picks out his gifts? Do you give him the money to buy the gifts? 

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

November 30, 2010

What I want for the holidays is electronics...

Liz Atwood discusses holiday wish lists in this week's Tween Tuesday

With Thanksgiving over, the kids have started lobbying in earnest for Christmas presents. Some wishes are those left unfilled last year—a dirt bike, a go-cart and electric motor scooter. Others are making an appearance for the first time, like the Xbox 360 Kinect. But one thing it seems all my kids’ requests have in common is they are expensive.

In that, my kids seem to be joining their peers. The recession may still be lingering, but according to a recent Nielson Reports study, kids 6-12 are asking for expensive electronics for the holidays. Topping the list is the Apple iPad, with a starting cost at $500. A computer and iPod Touch aren’t far behind on the electronics wish list. I guess the $90 Lego sets seem reasonable by comparison.

What is the hot item your tween is asking for this year? Do you have a secret to managing your tween’s expectations during this season of spending?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (2)
Categories: Teens
        

November 23, 2010

Kids table

Liz Atwood talks about the pros and cons of having a kids table at Thanksgiving in this week's Tween Tuesday:

This week families will gather for the Thanksgiving feast, and in many homes the annual ritual brings the question of how to seat the crowds of friends and family members. My own family has grown beyond a single dinner table. This year our gathering includes eight adults and four kids  – two 2-year-olds, a 9-year-old and a 14-year-old.

Websites are filled with decorating and game ideas for the kids’ table, but I’m thinking more about how to sit children of such a wide age range. I remember when I was growing up and we celebrated the holidays at my grandparent’s house, I always looked forward to being old enough to sit at the grownups’ table. But even when I was an adult, I was still sitting at the kids’ table because there were simply too many older family members who had dibs on a place at the dining room table.

Some folks actually prefer the kids’ table to the grownups’ table. I came across a Facebook group devoted just to the notion that sitting at the kids’ table is fun.

There are pros and cons to the kids’ table as this article points out. On the positive side, grownups are more free to talk, kids get to sit with other kids and the adults don’t have to keep reminding their children to watch their manners. On the downside, adults can’t help the kids cut the turkey or pour the gravy and families can’t sit together.

How do you settle the seating arrangements? Are your tweens resentful at being seated with the smaller children? Or is the kids table THE place to be?

 

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

November 16, 2010

Watching your child learn

Liz Atwood talks about visiting her kids' school on this week's Tween Tuesday:

It’s American Education Week and schools across the region are celebrating by opening their doors to parents and other members of the community. I’ve always attended at least one, and sometimes both of my sons’ schools in past years, and I always learned something. Last year, I discovered that neither of my boys had pencils and were borrowing them from the teachers or classmates. Of course they hadn’t told me they needed pencils and had they bothered to look, they would have found plenty of pencils at home. But I made it a point from that week on to check to see that my kids had pencils.

But while a parent can learn some basic information as the orderliness of a locker or desk or the stock of school supplies, I’ve always found it more interesting to watch the dynamics of the classroom. By spending just an hour or two in the school, I can connect names with faces, watch the interaction of the students and teachers and get a sense for how my sons fit in the school environment.

Some kids might not welcome their parents peering over their shoulders, but my kids never seemed to mind. They usually seemed proud to show off what they do. So this week, I’ll be back again in the elementary school visiting my younger son’s fourth grade class. So far, I’ve heard no word from my high school freshman as to whether my presence is welcome. I guess if I have to ask, I know the answer.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

November 11, 2010

Toy ban: Part 2

It's official.

San Francisco has banned restaurants from offering toys in meals that are not nutritious. Tween Tuesday's Liz Atwood wrote about this earlier this week, which has generated a ton of opinions on whether the city government has gone too far.

Here's what the ban means, according to MarketWatch:

Starting Dec. 1, 2011, restaurants would be able to give away kid-friendly items only if the accompanying food and drink had less than 600 calories, with less than 35% of those total calories coming from fat. (The proposal makes exceptions for "good" fat that comes from nuts, seeds and such.) The meal’s sodium content has to be below 640 milligrams, and the portion of trans fat must be under 0.5 grams. The meal also must include at least a half cup of fruit and three-quarters of a cup of vegetables, although breakfast meals can contain fewer.

I haven't seen McDonald's response or how the fast-food joint plans to react to this ban.

 

Posted by Hanah Cho at 8:47 AM | | Comments (3)
Categories: Health, Parenting in general, Teens
        

November 9, 2010

Toy ban

Liz Atwood talks about San Francisco's efforts to ban toys in kids meals and similar offerings in this week's Tween Tuesday

Somewhere in my basement is a box of little toys that my kids got with kids' meals at fast-food restaurants over the years. I'm sure that many times it was the toy, not the food, that my kids wanted when I plunked down my money at McDonald’s or Burger King or Taco Bell.

But tonight, the leaders in San Francisco will vote on whether to outlaw the practice of putting prizes in kids’ meals that are not nutritious. The measure passed on a preliminary vote last week and comes up for a final vote tonight. It not only would forbid restaurants from offering a free toy with meals that contain more than set levels of calories, sugar and fat, but also require restaurants to provide fruits and vegetables with all meals for children that come with toys.

Certainly, McDonald's and the other restaurants have responded to criticism and already offer  choices of apple wedges, milk and other nutritious food with the kids' meals. Still, on those rare occasions we eat at a fast-food restaurant, my kids want the sodas and the french fries. And as they’ve gotten older, the toy doesn’t hold the allure it once did. My 9-year-old these days prefers a Big Mac to a Happy Meal.

What do you think about the San Francisco effort to ban the toys from unhealthful kids' meals? Is it positive step toward fighting childhood obesity or more meddling in the free enterprise system?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (8)
Categories: Teens
        

November 2, 2010

Play

 

(Photo by Teresa Castracane) 

Liz Atwood gets her boys excited about the arts by taking them to see a play with lots of blood and gore in this week's Tween Tuesday

At last I've discovered the secret for how to get tween and teen boys excited about the arts: make sure there’s plenty of blood and gore.

Over the weekend I took my kids to see the Chesapeake Shakespeare Company’s production of Titus Andronicus. This is one of Shakespeare’s earliest and most obscure works. I’d never even heard of it until I received the postcard in the mail several weeks ago advertising the performance.

I read a little about it — including the warning it might not be suitable for youngsters. This is a play in which hands are severed, people are stabbed and throats are slit — all on stage. Chesapeake Shakespeare Company’s production had the bonus of being set in the ruins of the Patapsco Female Institute, a former girls’ school in Ellicott City that is said to be haunted.

Ghosts, blood, fights -- the boys readily agreed to go. And neither Shakespearean English or the nearly three-hour run time dampened their enthusiasm. It was as gory as promised with blood shooting everywhere. The boys were thrilled, not only with the performance, but the glimpse they had of the actors behind the scene. They could see them relaxing, eating, reading and dressing for their next performances. My younger son was happy to see one actor strapping on a bag of "blood" that would be poured out on the stage.

As for the play itself, I am no critic, but it seemed to me that Shakespeare was drawing upon his inner teenage youth to create such a spectacle. But while the play wasn't much to my liking, at least I can count one small victory in my effort expose the boys to a little culture.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

October 26, 2010

UNICEF Halloween

 

(Photo courtesy of UNICEF)

Liz Atwood talks about celebrating Halloween and doing good in this week's Tween Tuesday:

Can you believe it's just days before Halloween and my tween has yet to decide on a Halloween costume? I've thrown out suggestions both funny and scary, but he is just not that into it.

But while the Halloween spirit might be lacking in my house, I thought I should mention that it isn't for others. This is the 60th anniversary of Trick-or-Treating for UNICEF. I remember carrying those little orange boxes door to door when I was a kid and the organization that aids children all around the world is still at it. Trick-or-Treating for UNICEF has raised $160 million throughout the years and raises about $4 million each year, according to the organization.

The boxes are still available for kids to use to collect money as they go door to door, but this year there is also a new application for the iPhone and iPod to help raise money.

I wonder if I could entice my son to go this weekend as a good-deed-doer? Probably not.
 

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Holidays, Teens
        

October 12, 2010

Halloween

Liz Atwood wonders whether the lure of Halloween is fading as her boys get older in this week's Tween Tuesday:

In the past, I’ve commented on the trend of trashy-looking Halloween costumes for tween and teen girls and the obsession with gore displayed in the costumes for boys.

But this year, I'm less concerned about what my boys want to wear than clear signs that Halloween is a fading holiday in our house. In the past, Halloween was second only to Christmas in the enthusiasm it generated. We would visit the party stores and Halloween shops weeks in advance to find some new decorations. Usually the kids would pick out their costumes so early that they would be tired of them and want to make a switch by the time the actual day came around.

But this year, the fourth grader announced that he thinks he is too old for trick-or-treating. The high school freshman said he still wants to dress up, but not for trick-or-treating; he wants to scare the little kids who come to our door.

Over the weekend, I pulled the boxes of Halloween decorations out of the basement and began putting out the gravestones and the ghouls and the skeletons. The boys hardly noticed as their attention was focused on a game of touch football in the neighbor's yard.

We still haven't bought the pumpkins. The pre-school field trips to the pumpkin farms are long past, but I had hoped I might be able to interest the kids in a trip to a garden center. Now, I'm thinking I'll probably pick up a pumpkin at the grocery store.

Do you sense that Halloween is fading in your house as your children grow older?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (2)
Categories: Teens
        

October 6, 2010

Help for students with disabilities

Maryland recently launched a new Web site to help families prepare for the transition of children with disabilities from secondary school to higher education or employment.

www.mdtransition.org provides information on higher education and employment options as well as resources on transportation and healthcare. 

"We believe that every Maryland student should have the chance to achieve his or her career goals, whether through post-secondary education, job training or employment," Gov. Martin O'Malley said in a statement.  

Catherine A. Raggio, secretary of the state Department of Disabilities, said planning for a successful transition to life after secondary school should start early.

Under the federal Individuals with Disabilities Education Act, states must provide educational services to students. But adult services depend on meeting certain eligibility requirements and availability of funding.

The Maryland Transitioning Youth web site was developed by the Maryland Department of Disabilities with help from the state Department of Education, the Department of Health and Mental Hygiene and other agencies.

 

 

 

Posted by Hanah Cho at 12:13 PM | | Comments (0)
Categories: School's In, Teens
        

October 5, 2010

Favorite parent

Liz Atwood discusses whether children favors one parent over another in this week's Tween Tuesday:

Are you the favorite parent?

The notion of the favorite child is fodder for childhood accusations and Smothers Brothers comedy routines, but what do you do when your kid says he loves Dad (or Mom) more?  Dr. Ellen Libby, author of The Favorite Child, writes that children often have a favorite parent and that sometimes parents consciously or unconsciously compete for this title.

Libby points out that love is different from favoritism. She says children may prefer one parent for a brief time or for a lifetime. Naturally, the parent who isn't favored feels jealous and left out. "Parents working as a trusting team can effectively monitor the favored interactions of one parent while being inclusive of the other parent," Libby writes.

Have you had this happen to you? How did you respond?

 

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

September 28, 2010

Homework

Liz Atwood talks about parents helping their kids stay on top of school work in this week's Tween Tuesday:

President Obama's daughters attend a great school, travel to exotic locations, meet world leaders and invite hot singers to entertain them in the White House. But it seems even the leader of the free world has to make sure his daughters don't watch too much TV.

"Malia and Sasha are great kids, and great students," Obama told the Today Show's Matt Lauer yesterday. "But if you gave them a choice, they'd be happy to sit in front of the TV all night long, every night." The president said parents must persuade their children that their No. 1 job is learning. The parents’ job is to make sure kids do their homework and that schools are held accountable, he said.

I do my best to stay on top of my children’s school work. It's not always easy. But tonight, when I'm telling my kids that they have to finish their homework before they can turn on the TV, I’ll take pleasure in knowing Michelle Obama is probably doing the same thing.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (3)
Categories: Teens
        

September 21, 2010

Loud TV

 

(The Baltimore Sun) 

Liz Atwood wonders about the effects of loud TV and other devices on kids in this week's Tween Tuesday:

I'm starting to wonder who plays the television more loudly, my 79-year-old father or my tween boys. It seems I'm constantly having to tell the kids to turn down the volume on the TV or video games and recent studies show there is cause for alarm.

Last month, researchers in the Journal of the American Medical Association reported that hearing loss among teens has increased 30 percent in the last 15 years. In tests conducted in 2005-2006 on kids between the ages of 12 and 19, researchers found that one in five had some hearing loss compared to 14.5 percent of kids tested in 1988-1994.

The researchers could not pinpoint the exact reason for the increase, but some studies have shown headphones and earbuds might be responsible. My kids don't usually wear headphones and earbuds when they listen to music, but their tendency to crank up the volume on the TV is worrisome.

Have you noticed your kids doing this? The Rockville-based American Speech-Language-Hearing Association has great resources to help parents turn down the volume on their child's listening devices.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

September 14, 2010

Explaining 9-11

Liz Atwoods discusses explaining the 9-11 terrorist attacks to her boys in this week's Tween Tuesday

This past weekend was a difficult one. Not only did I hit a milestone birthday on 9-11, I found that my boys seemed more curious than ever about what happened that day nine years ago. My older son has vague memories of being let out of kindergarten early that day. My younger son was just four months old. I’ll never forget grabbing him up in my arms as I watched on TV the first tower crumble to the ground.

Last week, ABC News presented a feature on the Babies of 9-11 about the babies whose parents had died during the attack. It's hard to imagine, but they are tweens now. And like my boys, they have no recollection of a time when we hardly knew the word terrorist or Al Qaeda or Osama bin Laden.

On Saturday, my boys were riveted to the TV watching the movie World Trade Center. I remember wanting to go see it when it came out a few years ago, but for whatever reason I never got around to it.

But this weekend, I just couldn't watch it. When it was over, my younger son wanted to see what Osama bin Laden looks like so we showed him his picture on the computer. He was full of questions about why the terrorists attacked and the hardest of all — Will they attack us again? I tried to reassure him that many people are working hard every day to make sure it doesn't happen again, but I don’t know that anyone who lived through that day could answer confidently it will never happen again.

Are your tweens curious about that day, too? 

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

September 7, 2010

Justin Bieber

(The Baltimore Sun)

Liz Atwood talks about Justin Bieber and the difference between boys and girls in the latest (and late) installment of Tween Tuesday

I wasn't in the sell-out crowd watching Justin Bieber at the State Fair Sunday night. But reading the news accounts of that show, I’m more convinced than ever that girls and boys/men and women really are from different planets. When I jokingly asked my boys if they’d like to see Justin Bieber, they rolled their eyes in disgust. And while some boys might be mimicking the Bieber hairdo, my sons prefer to keep their hair short and traditional. When the hairdresser tried to style my 9-year-old's hair with that swept-forward look, he brushed it back as soon as he was out of the salon.

So while the girls are screaming at Bieber concerts and drooling over Bieber videos on YouTube, what are the boys doing?

Continue reading "Justin Bieber" »

Posted by Hanah Cho at 11:42 AM | | Comments (3)
Categories: Teens
        

August 31, 2010

Tween dress

(The Baltimore Sun) 

Liz Atwood discusses proper school attire in this week's Tween Tuesday:

The first day of school, my fourth grader was up early and ready to go. I had gone to the gym to exercise and when I came back, I found out he had picked out his clothes for the day—a T-shirt two sizes too small and a pair of red shorts he had worn most of the summer.

I immediately vetoed his selection. I stressed the importance of “dressing for success” and explained the difference between play clothes, church clothes and work clothes. School was his work and he needed to dress like it.

He resisted at first, arguing that he wasn't going to look like a geek. But I guess he saw I wasn’t going to give in on this one and he agreed to change.

I know that mothers of girls sometimes worry that their daughters are dressing too provocatively. As a mother of boys, I might not have to worry about that, but boys also need to recognize what is appropriate and inappropriate dress.

How is the school year going so far in your house? Have you had to override any of your tween's sartorial decisions?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

August 24, 2010

Sleep

Liz Atwood talks about her boys getting enough sleep in this week's Tween Tuesday:

The countdown to the new school year has started. My boys are frantically trying to finish their summer reading assignments and I’m desperately trying to get them back into a reasonable bedtime routine. As they grow older, this gets harder. I miss the days when they were babies and I could put them to bed at 8 p.m. and they would sleep until 7 the next morning.

Now it’s a miracle of they go to bed at 10, especially the teen-ager who wants to stay up watching football games, movies and late-night comedy shows. That doesn’t even factor in the time he spends looking at his iPod before he falls to sleep.

Lack of sleep is a chronic problem for tweens and teens, health experts say. And sleep deprivation leads to all sorts of problems, including poor school performance and bad tempers. Parents of tweens and teens know their kids already seem like a keg of dynamite ready to explode at the smallest spark. Failing to get enough sleep just exasperates those problems.

According to kidshealth.org, kids 10-12 need a little over nine hours of sleep per night. Teens need 8.5- 9.5 hours a night. Next week, my older son starts high school and the bus will arrive at 7:15 a.m. Even though he can dress and eat quickly, he will have to be up before 7 a.m. For a kid who has grown used to sleeping until almost noon, this first week is going to be rough.

Do you have any suggestions for how to get the older kids to bed on time?
 

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

August 17, 2010

Baseball

Here's the latest installment of Tween Tuesday by Liz Atwood, who muses about summer baseball:

It’s been another disappointing season for Baltimore Orioles fans, with the team spending all summer at the bottom of the league. Attendance is down as well, with an average of just 21,723 fans turning out for each game, according to The Sports Network.

Twice this season, attendance at Camden Yards dropped below 10,000. I’ll have to admit, I’m one of those to blame. I’ve never been a huge sports fan, but I always enjoyed taking in a few baseball games each summer. When my older son was five or six, we took him to his first baseball game and he loved playing when he was younger.

But now summer is almost over and there are just a few more weeks left in the season and we haven’t been to a game this year. In fact, I’m ashamed to say, we’ve never taken our 9-year-old to an Orioles game, although he has been to see the Baysox. Is that heresy?

Is there some kind of punishment meted out to parents for raising a boy in Baltimore without ever taking him to see a baseball game? One reason we haven’t gone is that he isn’t that interested in baseball, preferring instead soccer, basketball and football.

Of course, if we took him to see a game, maybe he would become more interested in the sport. Then again, with the way the season is going, maybe not.

How about you? Are you going to as many games as before with your kids?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (9)
Categories: Sports, Teens
        

August 10, 2010

Back to school

Liz Atwood talks about kids returning to school in a few weeks in this week's Tween Tuesday.

I don’t know about you, but I dread the thought of another school year about to begin. Yes, I know, there’s some comfort in getting back to the routine, but I do not relish the thought of being the homework enforcer or the report card monitor.

School seems harder for my boys than it was for me. I liked school and was a good student. My sons, especially the 9-year-old, dislike the rigidity of sitting still in a classroom. So I was intrigued by a recent article in The Washington Post that noted schools are increasingly gravitating toward single-sex classrooms. Some researchers have found, and most parents probably would agree, that girls and boys learn differently.

But whether they need different approaches in the classroom is a matter of debate. Personally, I would like to enroll my boys in a single-sex classroom if it were available at our public school.

What about you?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 10:24 AM | | Comments (4)
Categories: School's In, Teens
        

July 27, 2010

Summer slide

Liz Atwood talks about keeping her kids engaged during the summer in this week's Tween Tuesday:

Summer is more than half over, and I’m in a full-blown battle against the summer slide—that time when kids lose much of what they have learned during the previous school year.

According to the Baltimore-based National Summer Learning Association, where former Charm City Moms host Kate Shatzkin now works, most students lose about two months of grade level equivalency in math. Low-income students also lose more than two months in reading.

Last week, the cover story in Time magazine was devoted to efforts to overcome the summer slide by developing quality summer learning programs.

In our house, we’ve had some successes and some setbacks. My 9-year-old went to a couple weeks of science camp. The older one managed to read one book in his required summer reading and is plodding through the second.

Continue reading "Summer slide" »

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | | Comments (2)
Categories: School's Out, Teens
        

July 20, 2010

Grandparents: The good and the bad

Liz Atwood discusses grandparents in this week's Tween Tuesday:

I just got back from a South Dakota where I spent a week helping on an Indian reservation. My mother-in-law stayed with the kids.

And while there are not many parallels between my life and the life of typical Lakota Indian, I found that one thing we have in common is the role of the grandparents in teaching the children. Lakota grandparents traditionally are closely involved in teaching the children the customs of the tribe – stories, songs and crafts. Sometimes they are the ones who name the children.

Continue reading "Grandparents: The good and the bad" »

Posted by Hanah Cho at 8:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

July 13, 2010

Are virtual friends real friends?

Liz Atwood discusses what friendship means in the age of social media in her latest Tween Tuesday post:

The other day my tween was talking about the wonders of his older brother’s new Xbox Live, and he made a comment that caused me to consider the meaning of friendship. He said the best thing about the Xbox Live was that he could make friends in other places, even in other countries. That he would think someone playing a video game would be a friend shows a different concept of friendship than what I grew up with. And it raises an interesting question of what we’re teaching our kids when they play games like Webkinz, Club Penguin and, when they get older,  Xbox Live.

When they play with children on these gaming sites, are these friends? Does a friend have to be someone you see face-to-face or can you be friends with someone you never meet?

I can’t accept that these are real friendships, but really, what is the difference between playing pretend with a friend at home and playing pretend with a friend on the Internet?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 8:00 AM | | Comments (4)
Categories: Teens
        

July 6, 2010

Tween Tuesday: Reading lists with gender bias

Liz Atwood brings us this week's Tween Tuesday:

 The new Twilight movie is out, but I won’t be going. I’m not really into vampires and my sons think the whole Twilight phenomenon is ridiculous. I guess it stands to reason that tween and teen boys will wonder why girls would be so enthralled with vampires.

A recent article in the Louisville Courier Journal noted the gender bias in today’s movies. The Twighlight movies are for girls. Transformer movies are for boys. This isn’t really new, but I do wonder how teen-agers going out on a date ever find a movie they both can agree on.

Really, I’m more concerned about what strikes me as gender bias in the summer reading lists. Neither one of my boys is fond of reading, but I try to encourage them to read every day. Now that the older one is heading to high school, summer reading is no longer an option, but required. In his case, he must read a book on mythology (OK, that seems fine for boys or girls), but then the suggested reading lists for extra credit strike me as tween girl fare. The choices are Little Women, The Secret Life of Bees, The Bean Trees, Cold Mountain and Stones in Water.

The first three books are novels about girls coming of age, confronting new love, lost parents and freedom. Cold Mountain, a Civil War tale, is told from both a man and a woman’s point of view, although I would argue the heroine is the more interesting character. My son started that, read about 30 pages, and refused to go on.  That leaves Stones in Water—about a boy taken captive by the Nazis. I’ve ordered it from Amazon and hope this will be tolerable.

Have you noticed a gender bias in your children’s summer reading lists?

Posted by Sarah Kickler Kelber at 11:53 AM | | Comments (7)
Categories: Teens
        

June 29, 2010

How does your child show disdain for you?

This Tween Tuesday, Liz Atwood writes about how her boys show disdain for her:

Now that the kids have been home from school for a couple weeks, are you getting on each other’s nerves?

I read a recent article in Better Homes and Gardens that noted the differences in the way tween boys and girls express their disdain for their parents.

Psychologist Wendy Mogel told the magazine that young girls master the eye-roll — that expression that says they think whatever you’ve said or done is completely ridiculous. Boys, on the other hand, avoid eye contact. They spend a lot of time with their eyes fixed on the screen watching TV or playing videos games. I can attest to that. Although my boys spent their first week of summer vacation at camps, this past weekend they hardly budged from the sofa. Their eyes were glued to the TV and anything I said to them I had to repeat three times because they pretended not to hear me.

So I’m not sure. Is it better to be ignored or to be the target of the eye-roll? Perhaps parents who have both boys and girls can say which is worse.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 8:00 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

June 22, 2010

Family reunions in the age of Facebook

This Tween Tuesday, Liz Atwood discusses the importance of family reunions:

This is the time of year when many families gather with cousins, aunts, grandparents, nieces and nephews for family reunions. I recently took my boys to a family reunion in Virginia and it was interesting to see how they reacted. There were well over 100 people ranging in age from 2 months to 90. While most who attended were from nearby towns, some cousins came from as far away as New England.

My kids were a bit nervous being around so many people they didn’t know. Most of my relatives live in small towns and on farms. They had sunburned faces and spoke with accents that seemed strange to my kids. The boys stayed close to me, my Dad and my brother’s family—people they see often and feel comfortable with.

But I’m glad they had a chance to see they belong to a larger family—descendants of farmers who toiled rocky land beside the Shenandoah River.

In this day of FaceBook, e-mail and cell phones, where we can reach distant relatives in just seconds, I think family reunions still have an important role to play. These gatherings teach children that people can be very different—can look different, act differently and speak differently—but they are still family.

Have you taken your kids to a family reunion recently? What did they think?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 8:00 AM | | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

June 15, 2010

Relics of childhood

This Tween Tuesday, Liz Atwood can't make a clean break with her son's old cast: A few weeks ago, I wrote that I was cleaning out the boys' rooms so I could paint and have the floors refinished. At last, the work is completed, but putting their things back in the closets and drawers is a bit like trying to put dirt back in a hole. The things just don't fit the same. Some of their things were tossed in the trash, some went in the recycling bin and others were donated to charity. Perhaps one of the strangest items I found I couldn't part with was the cast that had been on my older son's arm when he broke it playing on the monkey bars at school when he was 7. He's now nearly 14 and he couldn't see the point of keeping this relic. He wanted to throw it away, but I reminded him that somewhere on that dirty cast is a signature from a Baltimore Oriole. (I can't remember which one and the writing isn't legible.) I took my son to a ball game a few days after his injury ended his own baseball career for the summer. He was feeling sad and having an Oriole sign his cast boosted his spirits. But while I can tell him that we should hold on to it because it has a player's signature, I think the real reason I can't part with it is because I am reminded by how small he once was. He is now taller than I am. His arms are those of a man. But this cast is a tangible reminder that he was once a little boy. My own mother had her own peculiar stash of items from my childhood, including my baby teeth. At least I didn't go that far. Are there weird things of your kids' that you still hold on to?
Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:40 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

June 8, 2010

Can a uniform change school behavior?

Liz Atwood reports on an interesting experiment with her own school dress code this Tween Tuesday:

Just two weeks left of school and I’m trying to encourage my boys to hang in there and do their best for just a bit longer. The older one, who will be heading off to high school, admits he has a serious case of “senioritis.” The third grader has become acquainted with the principal and assistant principal in the past couple weeks due to his poor behavior. I was so exasperated with him that I had the idea to change his wardrobe in an effort to improve his attitude. Our school doesn’t require uniforms, but we have lots of school “spirit wear”—polo shirts with the school’s emblem on the pocket that we bought and have been given by neighbors. I thought that by dressing the younger one in something of a uniform—school polo shirt and khaki or blue shorts, he would understand that he was going off to work—just as I dress professionally when I go off to work—and he would behave more appropriately.

The first week went OK and, actually, he seemed to do better in school. I have no idea whether the clothing made the difference, but I was encouraged. However, this week, he refused to wear the improvised uniform, saying he didn’t want to look like a “geek.” So I gave in and sent him to school in a T-shirt and shorts.

I know studies have shown there are advantages and disadvantages to school uniforms. Do you think how a student dresses makes a difference in how they do in school? Should I go back to requiring our pseudo uniform until school lets out for the summer?


Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:51 AM | | Comments (6)
Categories: Teens
        

June 1, 2010

The Silly Bandz craze

silly%20bandz%20zany%20bandz.jpg

Liz Atwood writes about the Silly Bandz craze this Tween Tuesday:

Boy, would I like to be the one who anticipates the next tween fad. The latest hot items are Silly Bandz, rubber bands that come in various shapes and colors that the kids wear on their wrist. Apparently, a few entrepreneurs from Toledo, Ohio, came upon these at a product show in China and decided to bring them to the United States a couple years ago. They started catching on last year and the fad has spread across the United States. Now every tween I know is wearing these rubber bands, trading them and begging their parents to plunk down $5 a pack. Silly Bandz even has its own Facebook page.

Who comes up with these ideas and what makes something catch on? When my tween first asked me to buy him rubber bands, I thought, sure, what school project do you need them for? When he told me kids wear them on their wrists, I thought it was strange, but it seemed innocent enough. It wasn’t until we dropped by the store to pick some up that I had any idea they were so expensive. My son became a budding Silly Bandz entrepreneur keeping a stash in his school desk that he exhibited to his classmates during recess. I happened to be in the class one day and watched the kids bartering over bands, arguing whether a shark was worth more than a penguin.

Some schools have decided to ban them from the classroom, but so far, my son’s school is still allowing them. Perhaps the teachers have decided they are a good way to teach economics. Of course, it’s the parents whose wallets are being depleted. I think there’s another lesson I’ll be teaching -- money doesn’t grow on trees.


Clicking on Green Links will take you to a third-party e-commerce site. These sites are not operated by The Baltimore Sun. The Sun Editorial staff is not involved in any way with Green Links or with these third-party sites.


Sharon Gekoski-Kimmel/Philadelphia Inquirer/McClatchy-Tribune

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 8:51 AM | | Comments (4)
Categories: Teens
        

May 25, 2010

Saying goodbye to your pediatrician

family%20pediatrician.jpgOn this Tween Tuesday, Liz Atwood writes about what her retiring pediatrician has meant in the life of her family:

Last week I took my older son for his annual physical and received the heartbreaking news that our beloved pediatrician is retiring. After 40 years of looking at tonsils, diagnosing rashes and consoling anxious parents, he surely deserves to take it easy and spend time with his grandchildren.

But his leaving is a tough loss to bear. While we’ve seen other doctors and nurses in the same office over the years, when it really mattered, I wanted my kids to be seen by the doctor who first visited them when they were just hours old. He knew their history—the older child’s bouts with croup and the younger one’s pneumonia. He was there for us through Lyme disease, broken bones, bronchitis and eczema. He was always a calming and reassuring presence.

When my younger son was born, he had to be placed in intensive care because of breathing difficulties. The next morning, I was alone in the hospital room, pumping milk because the nurses said I needed to and I couldn’t see the baby until after the nurses’ shift change. Our doctor came in and asked what I was doing. When I explained, he told me to go be with my baby...

Continue reading "Saying goodbye to your pediatrician" »

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:46 AM | | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

May 18, 2010

Tween artifacts: trash or treasure?

tween%20organizing.jpg

Liz Atwood has a mess on her hands this Tween Tuesday:


You should see my house now. On second thought, no one should see my house now. This year we have taken spring cleaning to a whole new level. We are painting almost the entire house.

My idea was to start with the easiest and least cluttered rooms and methodically work my way through the house, finishing with the boys’ rooms. But somehow my plan has dissolved and we have a disaster.

The boys’ bedrooms are the worst. Here lies the collective memory of their entire lives—stuffed animals they had when they were babies, school work from the time they were in kindergarten, art projects and action figures. Where did all this stuff come from? And more importantly, where should it all go?

I have tried to avoid being the pack rat my mother was. I make regular donations to the church rummage sale and Goodwill. I try to be mindful of which school papers and art projects I save and pack away in boxes. But still the stuff accumulates. The older boy has six boxes of school work already and we haven’t hit high school.

While I don’t consider myself a packrat, I studied history in school and I dabble in family genealogy. I want to hold on to some items for posterity. But how can I decide which items are worth keeping and which items should be tossed out? What items will my children want to have when they are my age? What would their children want to see? The 13-year-old says throw it all out. The 9-year-old wants to keep it all. How do you decide?

Kate here: By the way, if you struggle with organizing your children's artwork, you might be interested in this story from our archives with ideas on how to preserve the best pieces. The photo above, showing art made into laminated placemats, went with the story.


Photo by Gene Sweeney Jr., Baltimore Sun

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:29 AM | | Comments (3)
Categories: Teens
        

May 11, 2010

Communicating with tweens

Liz Atwood is back with Tween Tuesday. Today, she's looking for secrets for keeping the peace in a household full of volatile tween/teen emotions:

Can anyone be harder to live with than a tween? Yes, you say. A teen. We have one of each in our house and it’s like living with two powder kegs. The other night we all went to the movies and the boys fought over who got to sit up front in the car. The loser stalked off and wouldn’t speak to us for the rest of the evening.

I came across this interview with a middle school guidance counselor in the Chicago area. She says the secret to parenting tweens is to keep the channels of communication open and keep listening. I agree. But getting them to talk is sometimes the hard part. As they get older, I’ve found it becomes increasingly difficult to figure out what’s going on in their lives. I’m sure I’m not alone. Do you have any advice for dealing with the volatile tween/teen?


Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:50 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

May 4, 2010

Material girls -- and boys

madonna%20lourdes.jpg
Liz Atwood talks tween fashion on this Tween Tuesday:

As the recession ebbs, retailers are gearing up to attract tween buyers. Madonna is developing her Material Girl line, which will be in Macy’s stores this August. J.C. Penney’s announcement of its new tween fashion line called Uproar sent the company’s stock price higher a couple weeks ago.

It’s really astounding that 8-to-14-year-old children have such buying power. They can’t drive. They can’t work. And, at least in the case of my younger son, calculating dollars and cents is still a challenge.

But studies show this population of 21 million is a retailing gold mine. They might not be able to drive to the mall, but tweens know how to nag. They wield about $43 billion a year in spending power, according to EPM Communications' Tween Spending & Influence report.

Actually, those numbers are probably conservative. I bet my sons influence my buying more than $2,000 worth of stuff a year. How about you? Any idea how much your tween prompts you to spend each year?

(Associated Press photo)

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:58 AM | | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

April 27, 2010

Is your tween a texting addict?

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R U ready 4 Tween Tuesday? Liz Atwood wants to know about your tween's texting habits:

A new Pew Research study found that text-messaging among teens and tweens has skyrocketed in the past 18 months. The study found that three-quarters of kids ages 12-17 use cell phones and that texting is the preferred method of communication. These texters average 50 texts a day – older girls text on average a 100 times a day. More than half of them have sent a text message during class.

I saw a CNN report on this study that featured a number of tweens and teens who admitted to be addicted to texting. My boys have their issues with video games. Currently, we’re under a video game embargo at my house because they have been overdoing the games at the expense of their studies. But texting is not something either one likes to do. Both of them have phones that they rarely use. I’m not sure why my boys who love the Xbox and computer aren’t into texting, but I’m glad that’s one behavior I don’t have to monitor.

Is your tween part of the texting revolution? Have you had to set limits on how much your tween texts?

Photo by Baltimore Sun photographer Amy Davis

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:34 AM | | Comments (2)
Categories: Teens
        

April 20, 2010