More on moms' groups: Can we be friends?
The deluge of comments under my post about mothers' groups got me thinking that Charm City Moms should explore a little more the kinds of connections mothers form with each other, and how these friendships change as the kids grow.
I find it interesting that mothers' groups have become more and more necessary to people as our society seems more hurried and more disconnected.
It seems like it should be easy for mothers to be friends, and sometimes it is. Who understands what we're going through the way another mom does, especially if the kids are the same age? But sometimes it's not easy. Ever tried to approach a group of moms on the playground who already know each other? It can be downright scary. Let alone if you're a stay-at-home dad trying to break into a group of parents, as our Guest Dad Will Morton noted a while ago.
Part of it is that parenting makes many of us anxious -- and, dare I say it, judgmental. We want to do everything right, and to appear to do it right. Sometimes if a mom appears more perfect than you, you may not want to be friends. If she brags about her kids too much, you might not be able to stand it. Or you might think she's too lax. Even though your kids like each other, you worry about the example she sets -- and what might go on in her house if you left your child alone there.
She might think you're judging her because she works and you don't. Or because she stays home and you work. And vice versa.
And then there's the time factor. If things get really busy and you don't have time for some of your mom friends, it's another thing to feel bad about.
How do you choose your mom friends? How many can you handle? What makes you stick with one, and keep her for years?
