Don't forget to vote in our latest Guilty-Mom poll on whether having children makes us happier or brings on surprising amounts of depression and stress, as some studies have found. You have until noon today to add your vote.

So far, the happiness quotient among our readers is high.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 7:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Guilty-Mom polls
        

Spotted this on NPR's web site: Studies Show Kids May Not Be 'Bundles of Joy.'

First of all, love the headline. I don't think most parents need studies to tell us that no babe is a bundle of joy all the time.

But the story, which reports that sociologists are finding that parents today may be more depressed than their childless friends, was interesting. The most telling quote, I thought, was from a sociologist who says the depression doesn't come from having children, but from the environment in which we have them. We lack support systems and family-friendly policies that would give us more enjoyment of our children, and less anxiety about giving them a good life.

This seems like the perfect topic for a Guilty-Mom poll. You have until Friday at noon to weigh in:

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 10:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
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Remember, you have until 9 p.m. tomorrow to vote in the Guilty-Mom poll on how close to her due date an expecting mom should start her maternity leave.

So far, votes are running in favor of working right up to the due date if you're feeling well, which surprises me a little. And one question I didn't ask was whether, in this era of so many scheduled inductions, the idea of planned delivery dates enters into your thinking about this.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 12:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
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My poor expecting friend. She started her maternity leave two weeks ago today, a week before her due date, and only now is she showing signs that labor has started. I urged her to start her leave early, knowing that it would really be the last chance she had to do some of the things she likes to do, like go to big-people movies and eat in restaurants without springing for a sitter. Or just to sit and enjoy silence.

Then again, both my kids were a little bit early -- one by several days -- so I never really got that time. Now I suspect she's gotten too much. Then there's the discomfort factor of being that pregnant; how much fun can you really have? Maybe the distraction of work would have made the time go faster.

So it's time for....a Guilty-Mom poll. You have until 9 p.m. Sunday to give advice to the other expecting moms out there.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 7:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)
Categories: Babies and Toddlers, Guilty-Mom polls
        

It's part-time preschool for Edamommy's daughter, if she goes by the results of our Guilty-Mom poll. Of the 41 folks who voted, slightly more than half thought the 4-year-old should go to school just 2 days a week next year, as her mother would prefer, instead of 4-5 days.

I was mulling this over as I said goodbye to my son's preschool teachers on their last day together yesterday. He's off to kindergarten after a year of full-day (in our case, extended-day) preschool. Now this was a kid who actively loved school and his pals there, so it was easy to feel good about sending him. But I'm also confident that he's prepared for kindergarten.

As some posters noted, kindergarten now is what first grade used to be. The kids are expected to already know counting and letters. They're learning to read and expected to know how to behave.

The key to feeling good about it all in our case was that our preschool struck a great balance between learning and just plain fun. When my daughter left and started kindergarten, she missed all the time they had to play outside and make up their own games at her old school.

So do we need less preschool? Or less rigorous kindergarten? Or both?

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 2:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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in the latest Guilty-Mom poll. Tell Edamommy whether she should send her daughter to preschool four days a week or just two. You have until 6 p.m.

And the comment contest is still underway -- we have a few more to go before we hit 700. Why not vie for the prize with a suggestion for places to beat the heat this summer for tomorrow's tip sheet? I could use some right now; my kids are home and it's sweltering outside.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 3:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
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Edamommy has blessed us with our latest Guilty-Mom poll question. In case you missed it, here's her dilemma:

I am being pushed into sending my 4-year-old to school 4-5 days/week (full day) starting in the fall by the school and other well-meaning friends and family. More time for me, they say. It will be good for her. She should go the number of days according to her age. She doesn't really like school all that much - she cries every morning but the teacher says she is fine after I depart and then participates fully in the day. Her teacher thinks I am doing the right thing. The director thinks she would do better with more time there.

Part of me wonders if I am holding on too tight or just enjoying the moments of her being little which won't last long. I feel confident that I am doing what I need to do for the right reasons but I have a heaping of mommy guilt for wanting to stay home with her.

Time to vote. You'll be able to weigh in until Wednesday at 6 p.m.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 11:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)
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I've been so busy that I've neglected giving you a report on my son's preschool play, which, by a small but influential vote, I was urged to attend. Despite the week from you-know-what, my husband being out of town, yada yada yada.

I'm glad I went. So thank you for the nudge. (Most of all, major thanks to You Know Who You Are, another mom from the class who graciously volunteered to take my kids for an afternoon play date so I could catch up on work later.)

It was a 15-minute play his class performed about nursery rhymes, which they've been studying. Sam froze momentarily before delivering his one line, but then spoke it with gusto: "I didn't even get any bread. Could I please have some water?"

Yes, he was one of the children who lives in a shoe.

He was very happy and surprised to see me at the end. "I thought you were going to stay home," he said, as if I'd prefer to be lounging on the couch with Oprah than watching his star turn.

And now -- that Guilty Mom poll was so much fun that it shouldn't be the last. Do you have a dilemma to submit to the ruthless vote of the readership? I'll create a poll for you and we can all follow the results.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 8:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
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Well, dear readers, I can see there's an overwhelming sentiment that I should watch my son's short star turn at preschool.

In case the drama of some other election has distracted you from learning the results of our first Guilty-Mom poll, the yeses had it by two to one. Even my boss agreed with the majority, which helps.

Thanks to all who voted. Extra thanks to those who told me not to feel bad if I didn't go.

Truth be told, I think I decided I would get there somehow as soon as the first couple of yes votes rolled in. Mom guilt -- and its nicer twin, mom love -- are powerful things.

But here's the thing that bears further discussion, I think. Consider:

Continue reading "The people have spoken" »

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 2:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Categories: Guilty-Mom polls