There are 24-hour gyms, 24-hour diners and everything in between. Now some daycare centers are joining the mix.

The New York Times reports on the trend:

Day care is slowly becoming night care in today’s economy, as parents work ever longer days, take on second jobs and accept odd shifts to make ends meet. ...

About 40 percent of the American labor force now works some form of nonstandard hours, including evenings, nights, weekends and early mornings, according to Harriet B. Presser, a professor of sociology at the University of Maryland. That share is expected to grow with the projected expansion of jobs in industries like nursing, retail and food service, which tend to require after-hours work.

When I was looking for daycare for Jake, one of the first things I wanted to know was the center's hours. Most centers in this region close between 6 p.m. and 6:30 p.m. My job can be pretty crazy sometimes with long hours, so it was an important factor for me.

Imagine the stress of finding childcare when you have to work odd or overnight hours. The article features one daycare center in Ohio where the providers help children with homework, feed them dinner and get them ready for bed.

Of course, there are downsides. For one thing, the parents interviewed for the story said they rather have their children be watched in their own homes, but child care center "offered the best compromise."

Do you think there is a need for 24-hour centers, or at least those that have evening hours?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 10:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Child Care
        

Thank goodness for grandparents because without them, Eric and I would not be getting ready to head overseas for a toddler-free (and much needed) vacation.

Thanks grandma Kathy for volunteering to babysit Jake for 10 days!

We are thrilled that we are leaving Jake in good hands. There is even research to give us additional assurance. The reseachers at Johns Hopkins Center for Injury Research and Policy conducted a study a few years ago that found grandparents are a safe source for childcare.

The study, published in the journal Pediatrics in 2008, found:

For working parents, having grandparents as caregivers can cut the risk of childhood injury roughly in half... Compared to organized daycare or care by the mother or other relatives, having a grandmother watch a child was associated with a decreased risk of injury for the child.

Grandparents are a great childcare source, especially if they live close by. And even if they don't.

I remember a New York Times story a few years back where a grandmother flew in almost every other week or so to take care of her grandkids. The headline was great: The Incredible Flying Granny Nanny.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 11:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Child Care, Travel
        

when the baby is crying at night?

The answer: Moms are more than twice as likely to get up at night than dads, according to a study in the journal Social Forces.

When I was breastfeeding, I mainly took on the night shift. But now, my husband is much quicker in getting up at night.

What about you?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 10:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Categories: Child Care, Parenting in general
        

I had a "what the heck" moment when I read this story.

A public preschool in Arlington suspended a 3-year-old who apparently had too many potty accidents. You read that right. The student in question is all of three years old!

According to the Washington Post, Zoe Rosso was suspended in December and her parents were told not to return for a month or until Zoe did not have any more accidents. Zoe's mom is urging the school board to change its policy, referring to it as the "potty manifesto."

According to Zoe's mom, Betsy Rosenblatt Rosso: "We would like Arlington County to revise its policy so that other kids and other families won't have their lives disrupted like this for something that's totally developmentally normal." "If a kid is emotionally and intellectually ready for school . . . then they should have the ability to go, regardless of whether their bladder has caught up with their brain."

Rosso said Zoe only had a handful of accidents when she was removed from school.

Arlington's Office of Early Childhood told the Post that toilet-training for 3-year-olds has been county policy for decades. The county removes a child who has eight accidents in a month.

The story touches upon a myriad of issues, including a growing trend of pushing academics to ever-younger students as well as the developmental implications of fast-tracking potty training when children may not be ready.

Frankly, I was shocked to learn that there is a new movement to teach infants as young as three months to begin potty training. Based on the experts that the Post quoted, potty accidents should be expected and are normal as kids go through the process.

Arlington's policy seems over the top to me. What has your experience been? Anyone know what the policy is at school systems in the Baltimore area?

Take the poll:

Posted by Hanah Cho at 4:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Categories: Child Care
        

I'm referring to children's series The Baby-sitters Club, which is about a group of girls who babysit for neighborhood children. I grew up reading those books.

I bring this up because I'm having a hard time finding reliable babysitters for my now 13-month-old J. Do teen-agers babysit anymore?

And if they do, I'm not sure if a teen-ager would be reliable enough to babysit a baby bordering on toddler-hood. But I'm open to exploring it.

Since my parents and my mother-in-law live out of state, they are out of the question. My friends have volunteered but of course, one of the reasons I want a babysitter is to spend time with my friends if E. is unavailable or working.

Do retirees babysit? What about local college students studying to be teachers? And what's the going rate for babysitters these days?

And where do I find them? Please send in any and all advice and suggestions, along with your stories.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Categories: Child Care
        

Sorry for the radio -- or blog -- silence the past week or so. Baby J. caught a nasty stomach virus that is still festering, and I've been home taking care of him.

I return to the office, and this blog, conflicted – reevaluating whether E. and I made the right decision to put J. into day care, whether I should've returned to work at all, whether my decision to become a working mom is about money, independence or who I am, or a little bit of everything.

When I’m home caring for Baby J, I worry that I’m not at work doing my job. When I’m at the office, I worry that Baby J needs me and I’m not there. I worry that I’m shortchanging everyone – my baby, my family, my employer, and myself.

Before I go on, let me emphasize that I know I'm fortunate to have the choice to stay home or return to work. Many parents don't have that choice for financial or other reasons.

I know I'm fortunate to have had a job to go back to after a lengthy maternity leave. Not all moms and dads have this option, either.

I'm not complaining here. But I also know that I can't be the only one who's had these doubts.

I knew sacrifices would be necessary to make my working-mom lifestyle work. Beyond the money and the inherent independence I feel by earning a paycheck, the question seems to come down to this for me: Which sacrifices can I live with most peaceably?

I am interested in hearing your thoughts and your stories. How did you come to the decision to stay home or return to work? Was it mostly a dollars-and-cents decision? Or was it something else? Was it a combination of emotional, personal and financial factors? And, probably most importantly, are you at peace with your decision?
 

Posted by Hanah Cho at 9:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (12)
Categories: Child Care, Work-life balance
        

E. and I are frantically searching for child care for baby J., who's nearly eight months old now. And we're running out of time.

After my six-month maternity leave, E. was able to take some time off from work to watch J., while grandparents have stepped up during emergencies.

But we could no longer rely on stop-gap measures. Finding affordable and safe child care has not been an easy process.

Of course, it didn't help that we waited until I returned to work to look for child care options. Up until that point, I had no idea that finding infant child care in particular would be nearly impossible. Who knew that you should put your child on a day care wait list as soon as you know you're expecting?

I wish that was something that my doctor -- or anyone for that matter -- told me along with diet, exercise and other pregnancy advice.

That got me thinking about what other things I should know now that would save me from grieve later on.

What advice would you give your younger parent-self? What do you wish you had known then that you know now as a parent?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Categories: Child Care
        

Despite the recession, child care costs continue to climb, according to a new report released this week by the National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies.

The Arlington, Va.-based group found that the average cost for center-based child care for an infant exceeds the average annual amount that families spend on food in every region of the U.S.

Parents who choose child care in a center or a family child care home must pay a significant part of their income for this care. Low- and middle-income parents have limited access to affordable, quality care.

Among the report's findings:

• Since 2000, the cost of child care has increased twice as fast as the median income of families with children.
• In 25 states, the increase in the cost of infant care in a center far exceeded the rate of inflation.
• The average increase among all states in the cost of care for a 4-year-old in a center exceeded the rate of inflation.

Meanwhile, the report notes that unemployment is up among women with children.

Continue reading "Child care costs going up and up" »

Posted by Hanah Cho at 11:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Child Care
        

Baby J. met his young cousins, whose ages range from 2 to 6, for the first time this past weekend.

It was also the first time J. has "played" with other children -- though play involved J. licking and touching his cousins.

Since J.'s dad is taking care of him while we figure out a permanent childcare solution, J. has had very little interaction with other babies.

At six months old, should J. be playing with other babies? When is the appropriate time to host play dates?

Moms and dads, please chime in.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 8:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)
Categories: Child Care, Parenting in general
        

Any time there's a snow day here, working parents stress out about having to find last-minute child care.

A new study released today found that workers with employer-sponsored dependent benefits -- such as worksite child care, elder care and back-up care -- report less stress and better health than those without such options.

Bright Horizons Family Solutions conducted the survey of 4,000 working adults: one group with access to employer-sponsored dependent care benefits and a second group without them. (Disclosure: Bright Horizons offers these benefits for employers and also operates child care centers.)

Among the survey's findings, workers with employer-sponsored dependent care benefits:

• Were 31 percent less likely to report lost productivity due to stress.
• Reported 25 percent fewer personal health concerns due to stress.

In contrast, workers without such benefits were nearly a third more likely to report being down or depressed and spend 20 percent more time dealing with childcare issues at work, among other findings.

Such benefits seem like a rarity at a time when employers are laying off workers and cutting pay. Is there any employer in the Baltimore region that offers any sort of dependent care benefit?

UPDATE: Bright Horizons tells me Johns Hopkins University, Discovery Communications in Silver Spring, the U.S. Census Bureau based in Suitland and Marriott International in Bethesda are some of the Maryland employers who offer dependent care benefits.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 4:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Categories: Child Care, Work-life balance, Workplace
        

With Father's Day just a day old, I ran across an interesting New York Times article about dads feeling just as stressed as moms in juggling family and work lives.

I know my husband, E., and other men in our generation want to be more than the breadwinner in the family. But as the article points out, dads are finding it just as difficult as moms to strike the right balance:

But several studies show that fathers are now struggling just as much — and sometimes even more — than mothers in trying to fulfill their responsibilities at home and in the office. Just last week, Boston College released a study called "The New Dad" suggesting that new fathers face a subtle bias in the workplace, which fails to recognize their stepped-up family responsibilities and presumes that they will be largely unaffected by children.

With dads taking on a larger role in childrearing, they are also contributing more to household chores and other activities. Or are they?

Although men do more vacuuming and dishwashing than their fathers did, they still lag behind women when it comes to housework. When both husband and wife work outside the home, the woman spends about 28 hours a week on housework. Her husband can claim only about 16 hours, according to the National Survey of Families and Households from the University of Wisconsin. And men and women themselves paint very different pictures of their domestic duties. In the 2008 Families and Work report, 49 percent of men said they provided most or an equal amount of child care. But only 31 percent of women gave their husbands that much credit. The perception gap continued for cooking and housecleaning — more than 50 percent of men say they do most or half the work; 70 percent of wives say they do all of it.

While I view E. as an equal partner in raising our son, I can't say the same when it comes to chores. I have a mental checklist of what he does or doesn't do around the house. Am I just not giving him enough credit?

Should dads equally share in the household duties as well as childcare responsibilities? What do you think?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 10:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)
Categories: Child Care, Work-life balance
        

Moreil recently submitted this comment under a really old post about child care in the city, and I thought it was worth a new post and new discussion:

"Kate, Patrick, & Cynthia, what would consider afforable child care costs for an average 2 income family? I think of a saying, "you get what you pay for: these children are our precious babies. I'm at a loss because I want good service but I dont want to break the bank. Feedback pls......"

Moreil, I hear you. As I said in that old post, there was a time when we paid more for our two kids to be in day care -- more than $2,000 a month -- than we did for our mortgage. Fortunately, that wasn't a long period. Once kids get to be 2 years old, prices can drop by quite a bit. And we paid extra to go to a place that had particularly long hours, which we needed -- we were both journalists at the time.

Unfortunately, a good nanny can cost even more than that.

Obviously, that's still not something everybody can do. Nor should they necessarily have to.

There are good home-based day cares out there. Those can still be pricey -- in my experience, you may have to pay $700 a month per child to use them full-time, depending on the child's age and the neighborhood you live in.

A good way to find care -- and to talk about your options with someone who knows about child care in this area -- is to use LOCATE Child Care. That site allows you to look for state-licensed care online. You can also call the Child Care Resource Center in your area for help.

My day care days have passed, fortunately for my bank account. So I'd like to hear from readers using child care now. What's a reasonable price for high-quality care in Baltimore and its suburbs?

(First Lady Michelle Obama reads to children at the U.S. Department of Labor Day Care Center. TIM SLOAN/AFP/Getty Images)

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 11:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (14)
Categories: Child Care
        

I got an interesting e-mail yesterday from the new marketing director at Center Stage. He was asking me, and some other local parenting bloggers, for advice. I asked him if I could throw out his question to the readers of this blog, so please help him with some answers:

I am the new marketing director at Center Stage Theater. We have thousands of regular theatergoers over 50, and a great pool of college students/twenty-somethings, but we are sorely lacking in folks in their 30s and 40s, many of whom must be parents with children. Most of our shows are not appropriate for children, so we decided to do something a lot of other theaters have been doing around the country to get parents to come to the shows and offer, for lack of a better word, babysitting.

Thanks!
David

Since I'm someone who thinks businesses could go a lot further in attracting parents with programs for their children, I thought it was curious that Center Stage was having this problem. Is it because parents want to have date night at night, and not during matinee time? Or that they think they can't afford theater tickets and this $15 fee?

Or is it something else I'm not thinking of?

Photo of Kevin Douglas, Philip R. Smith, Ravi Batista, Usman Ally, and Ericka Ratcliff in the Lookingglass Theatre’s production of "Around the World in 80 Days" at Center Stage, written and directed by Laura Eason. Photo © Richard Anderson.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:36 AM | Permalink | Comments (18)
Categories: Child Care
        

Have you ever angsted over how much to pay your babysitter? I always find myself wondering if I've hit the right mark. Turns out I may be paying a little too much.

Sittercity, the online service that helps babysitters and parents find each other, has a rate calculator that I just stumbled upon over at Kid Baltimore. It's pretty neat. You put in your zip code, the age of the sitter, and the number of kids you have. Then the calculator spits out a per-hour rate.

For my zip code, with 2 kids and a sitter 18-21 with less than a year of experience, it said I should be paying $12 an hour.

The only downside is that it didn't appear to have a field for a younger babysitter. Would you pay less for a high-schooler?

(Baltimore Sun file photo)

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 12:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Child Care
        

MomofBeans asked: "How do you break a toddler of a biting habit, when she isn't doing it at home, but is doing it at daycare when other children get in her personal space or attempt to take a toy from her?"

I called Margo Sipes, executive director of Downtown Baltimore Child Care, who previously advised us on easing transitions from house to day care. Here's what she recommended:

--First, remember that biting, though distressing, is common among toddlers. "Toddlers are still very oral," she said. "They learn and solve problems through their mouths."

--Don't be surprised if biting happens in a center rather than at home, because the center is where peers are -- and where conflict naturally arises as young kids interact. "Oftentimes the biting happens because there is a conflict over toys or the teacher's lap or one square foot of space in the classroom."

--Have the child shadowed. The best way to solve the problem, Sipes said, is for an adult at the center to be in charge of "shadowing" the toddler -- being close by him as much as possible -- to gently intervene when a bite is about to happen. "Someone right there who can put their hand and redirect (the child) to a more socially acceptable response." It's important for the adult to validate the child's feelings, by saying something like, "I can see you want that toy. Tell him you want it. Say, 'Turn please?' Or, 'Play with this while you’re waiting.'"

--Don't punish. If you do, the child will learn only that he's "bad," but not how to be good, Sipes says. Instead, the center should work on validating feelings and teaching him better ways to express needs. Also, be low-key about the biting. A big reaction may prompt the child to see if he can get the same reaction by biting again.

--Be patient. Breaking the biting habit could take a while -- maybe 4 to 6 weeks, Sipes says.

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 6:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Babies and Toddlers, Child Care, The Monday Consult
        

Inspections of licensed child-care facilities in Maryland are now online, we report today. Now how come they had to wait until my kids were in actual school to start this? I used to angst mightily over these decisions.

Now the question is: If your child is already in a day-care situation you're happy with, are you going to check this site and risk upsetting the apple cart? Or do you want to know everything you can know about the place where your child spends her days?

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 12:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Child Care
        

This New York Times piece today has some surprising news about how often kids in day care and preschool get to play outside. According to a survey of staff members at child-care centers, sometimes the whole group would have to stay inside if one child didn't have the right clothes for the weather.

File under things you didn't want to know: Kids also apparently eat mulch. And throw it at each other.

I've always felt fortunate about the outdoor play time situation at Govans Presbyterian Preschool in Baltimore, which our kids attended for years (my son will age out in a month). They seem to go outside every chance they get, and the creative games they come up with when left to their own devices on the playground are amazing. My daughter still wistfully looks back on all the play time they had there, even though she's almost finished with first grade.

I tell myself this is a very good thing each night when I shake all the sand out of my son's shoes.

How do you feel about the outdoor play situation at your child's day care/preschool/school?

(Sun file photo by Algerina Perna)

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 2:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Categories: Child Care
        

 Where are the best resources for finding quality daycare in the area? I've used the Baltimore's Child website, but I have a hard time believing that it is comprehensive. Also, it is just a long list and does not have any interactive tools for sorting, filtering, etc. Is there a better resource out there? I'd love it if I could read reviews on daycare centers somewhere... Maybe I'm dreaming of something that just hasn't been created yet.

 This is a huge topic, and I know we'll be discussing it often here. But I wanted to at least begin by pointing her to the web site of the Maryland Committee for Children, which has a searchable database of child-care providers. You can customize your search by proximity to your home, age of the children served, and drop-off and pick-up times.

There's also a call-in service, if you'd like an actual person to help with your search. (The phone numbers for your area can be found on the site.) But the site makes clear that its referrals are not recommendations about the quality of the care, and that it's the parent's responsibility to check references and to interview any prospective provider.

I love Debra's "dream" of a site where you could read reviews of day care centers, but I've never come across such a resource locally. If any of you knows of one (or has other ideas for parents on the hunt), please post it here.

I know lots of folks who have children at Tide Point Day Care in Locust Point must be scrambling right now. Does anyone have leads for them? Here's our story about the center's closing, which is scheduled for this summer.

(By the way, this isn't Tide Point or anyplace local in the picture, which was an Associated Press file photo. But it seems to illustrate what we all hope for: engaged teachers, bright lighting, lots of stuff for kids to do.)

Posted by Kate Shatzkin at 1:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (11)
Categories: Child Care