Tween Tuesday: Grandparents -- another story
Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday
A couple days ago, Hanah wrote about grandparents being the best babysitters, and often that is true. But I have found there is a serious drawback to grandparents as babysitters — you can’t fire them.
My sons’ grandmother spends part of her time overseas and part of her time living with us. And she is in many ways a terrific grandmother — helping the boys with their homework, cooking meals and washing their clothes. If I have to work late, it is a great comfort knowing the kids aren’t alone.
But too often, I feel, she spoils the children. In her effort to help them, she does too much for them — carrying dinner to them in the family room, not insisting they clean up after themselves, doing their chores when they complain of being too tired or busy. If they want a new video game, they ask her and she buys it.
I have repeatedly stressed how important it is for the boys to be held accountable. I have stressed how much we need her to help instill values of hard work and responsibility. I’m sure on some level she understands and believes this, but she cannot help but spoiling the kids. I’m sure I’m not the only parent who faces this dilemma, but I cannot figure out a good way to handle this and still keep peaceful relations.
Readers, give Liz a hand -- how do you deal with grandparents who spoil your children?
Comments
We don't have a parent or in-law living with us but our children's grandparents do tend to indulge them. I think it's a grandparent's job to indulge their grandchildren that's why grandparents always have a special place in the children's hearts. I will probably do the same thing when I have grandchildren. That being said, I try to focus on teaching the children a good work ethic and setting up a schedule where each of the children take turns with house hold chores. If grandma does something nice for the children I would insist that the children do something nice for her in return so it still allows grandma to do something that makes her happy and teaches the children to be less self centered.
Posted by: Lisa | July 26, 2011 8:27 AM
Not a parent but a grandparent here. Indulge us, please! We won't be around forever. If the situation is really, really out of control - a kind reminder is all that's necessary.
Posted by: ruth | July 26, 2011 8:36 AM
My kids don't have grandparents (my parents have passed away and my husband's parents live in another country). I'd give anything to have a grandparent that could spoil my kid. I understand the frustration but really, isn't that what grandparent's are for?
Posted by: Suzie Q | July 26, 2011 12:34 PM
I say "count your blessings." Our kids grew up with their grandparents far, far away. There were times when I really could have used some help. My in-laws only moved close to us when they were in their final years, and then we had kids and parents to care for.
Posted by: Dahlink | August 18, 2011 6:54 AM