Here's Betsy of Fluffy Windover's Diary with this week's Toddler Thursday:

One of the blogs I read often, The Spohrs are Multiplying, had a post a couple days ago about whether or not to use a "leash" on your toddler when you're out in a crowded place. The post was somewhat in jest, but the comments got kind of heated. Surprisingly, most of the commenters were for the use of some kind of restraint on a wayward toddler, especially in situations like airports or amusement parks. Those opposed mostly used the argument that if your child is on a "leash," they will never learn to listen to you and stay close in a public place.

Edwin is generally good about holding hands, and when he refuses, we just tell him he must be carried. But I can see how absolutely terrifying it would be if your child ran away from you in a crowded (or otherwise dangerous) place. I agree that kids should learn to mind the rules and learn to stay close in public, but I also believe that as a parent you must do everything you can to keep your child safe. So, I'm not sure how I feel about the issue.

How about you -- any toddler-leashers out there? Any strongly opposed?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 10:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)
Categories: Toddler Thursday
        

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday

A couple days ago, Hanah wrote about grandparents being the best babysitters, and often that is true. But I have found there is a serious drawback to grandparents as babysitters — you can’t fire them.

My sons’ grandmother spends part of her time overseas and part of her time living with us. And she is in many ways a terrific grandmother — helping the boys with their homework, cooking meals and washing their clothes. If I have to work late, it is a great comfort knowing the kids aren’t alone.

But too often, I feel, she spoils the children. In her effort to help them, she does too much for them — carrying dinner to them in the family room, not insisting they clean up after themselves, doing their chores when they complain of being too tired or busy. If they want a new video game, they ask her and she buys it.

I have repeatedly stressed how important it is for the boys to be held accountable. I have stressed how much we need her to help instill values of hard work and responsibility. I’m sure on some level she understands and believes this, but she cannot help but spoiling the kids. I’m sure I’m not the only parent who faces this dilemma, but I cannot figure out a good way to handle this and still keep peaceful relations.

Readers, give Liz a hand -- how do you deal with grandparents who spoil your children?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 7:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Categories: Teens
        

I will be on vacation for the next two weeks, so blogging will be limited, if at all.

But continue to check in on Tuesdays and Thursdays for our regular guest posts.

See you when I return!

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Travel
        

A $50,000 playhouse for a kid?

Yes, there are four zeros in that figure. And yes, some parents are spending five figures and more for elaborate playhouses for their children in their backyards, according to this New York Times story.

Even in a troubled economy, it seems, some parents of means are willing to spend significant (if not eye-popping) sums on playhouses for their children that also function as a kind of backyard installation art.

There are a number of companies and independent craftsmen that make high-end playhouses, which can cost as much as $200,000, and come in a variety of styles, including replicas of real houses, like the Schillers’, and more-fantastical creations like pirate ships, treetop hideouts and fairy tale cottages. And many of these manufacturers report that despite the economic downturn, they are as busy as ever.

The Schillers in this case are John and Kristi who spent $50,000 to build a two-story 170-square-foot playhouse in the same Cape Code style as their "expansive main house."

The perks in the playhouse for their 4-year-old? Hardwood floors, faux fireplace with a mosaic mantel, a mini stainless-steel sink, fridge and freezer, and a 32-inch flat-screen TV.

But wait. There's Dan Burnham, a retired CEO of defense contractor Raytheon, who spent nearly $248,000 to build playhouses for his grandchildren.

“We’ve got chairs arrayed all around it, so we can watch the kids run, climb and scream,” he said. “It’s adorable and worth every penny.”

If you have the money, who am I to tell you how to spend it but $50,000 for example could pay for a year's tuition, room and board and other expenses at an elite private college.

Do kids really need a playhouse that costs as much as a real one in some cases to play and explore?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Categories: Monday reads
        

Thank goodness for grandparents because without them, Eric and I would not be getting ready to head overseas for a toddler-free (and much needed) vacation.

Thanks grandma Kathy for volunteering to babysit Jake for 10 days!

We are thrilled that we are leaving Jake in good hands. There is even research to give us additional assurance. The reseachers at Johns Hopkins Center for Injury Research and Policy conducted a study a few years ago that found grandparents are a safe source for childcare.

The study, published in the journal Pediatrics in 2008, found:

For working parents, having grandparents as caregivers can cut the risk of childhood injury roughly in half... Compared to organized daycare or care by the mother or other relatives, having a grandmother watch a child was associated with a decreased risk of injury for the child.

Grandparents are a great childcare source, especially if they live close by. And even if they don't.

I remember a New York Times story a few years back where a grandmother flew in almost every other week or so to take care of her grandkids. The headline was great: The Incredible Flying Granny Nanny.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 11:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Child Care, Travel
        

My husband and I had a talk the other day about how Jake will not only have to be bilingual but likely have to speak three different languages in order to be competitive in the working world 20 years from now.

The conversation had us both shaking our heads and realizing that kids today face a far more pressure-filled reality.

I'm not alone. Parents are taking steps to ensure that kids stay ahead of the curve. Spanish- and Mandarin-only immersion schools are cropping up all over the U.S., including in Maryland.

Some families are taken it up a notch by moving to China and other countries. Newsweek has a great story on parents who are leaving their lives in the U.S. to start new ones in foreign countries so that their kids could have a truly global education and upbringing.

Of course, not every family can take this route, as the article points out. You need money, other resources and the resolve to move to another country.

But the story highlights a continuing debate over globalization and how it's impacting our kids in particular:

It has become a convention of public discourse to regard rapid globalization—of economies and business; of politics and conflict; of fashion, technology, and music—as the great future threat to American prosperity. The burden of meeting that challenge rests explicitly on our kids. If they don’t learn—now—to achieve a comfort level with foreign people, foreign languages, and foreign lands, this argument goes, America’s competitive position in the world will continue to erode, and their future livelihood and that of subsequent generations will be in jeopardy. Rogers is hardly the only person who sees things this way. “In this global economy, the line between domestic and international issues is increasingly blurred, with the world’s economies, societies, and people interconnected as never before,” said U.S. Education Secretary Arne Duncan in remarks in the spring of 2010 at the Asia Society in New York. “I am worried that in this interconnected world, our country risks being disconnected from the contributions of other countries and cultures.”

Are parents adding too much pressure on our kids or is this one of the realities of a competitive marketplace?

Are U.S. schools behind on preparing our kids for the future? Should schools start foreign language instruction earlier as some countries are?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: School's In, Travel
        

Here's Betsy of Fluffy Windover's Diary with this week's Toddler Thursday:

The heat is ON in Baltimore, with temperatures expected to hit 100 tomorrow and this weekend. I’m trying to think of fun things to do with Edwin so we can both stay cool (preferably inside, because I have zero tolerance for heat like this in my current condition). So far I’ve come up with letting him play with his bath toys in the sink, having an indoor picnic, and maybe a nice game of fetch. (You may think I’m joking, but when we’re stuck inside and Edwin is going stir crazy, we pretend he’s a dog and he runs around “fetching” toys that I throw. Or sometimes we play “dolphin show”, where he chases after a ball and pretends to be a performing dolphin. Hey, when you’re pregnant and have a toddler, games where you can sit while your toddler runs around and wears himself out are a real life saver!)

I also came across this fun little recipe for ice cream that you and your toddler can make in a plastic bag. I think we’ll try it out.

Ziploc Bag Ice Cream

1/2 cup whole milk
1 Tbsp sugar
1/4 Tsp vanilla
2 cups ice cubes
1/2 cup table salt
1 small Ziploc bag
1 large Ziploc bag

- Combine the milk, sugar, and vanilla in the small bag. Seal it closed.

- Combine the ice and salt in the large bag.

- Put the small bag inside the large one.

- Seal the large bag and shake it until the mixture thickens (about 5 minutes).

Enjoy, and stay cool!

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Categories: Toddler Thursday
        

It's so secret that many moms control much of the household spending.

Now that smartphones have become ubiquitous, moms have become a "shopping force" and retailers and marketers are taking notice, according to this Washington Post article.

From Procter & Gamble to AT&T and Pandora, firms are taking notice that mothers, newly armed with smartphones, are becoming a new kind of shopping force online. A decade ago, these women were single and childless 18- to 34-year-olds who captured the hearts of Madison Avenue marketing executives with their voracious consumer appetites. Now, they are older and often in charge of the household wallet.

Moms are the fastest-growing buyers of iPhones, and they are tuning in more frequently and for longer periods than any other group on media Web sites such as Pandora, a streaming music service. Nielsen Research says mothers are far more likely to share photos and news stories on Facebook via smartphones and computers than anyone else.

The article points out that moms are becoming early adopters of smartphone technology. That doesn't surprise me, given moms I know are major multitaskers -- whether they're working moms or stay-at-home moms or in between.

I've had a smartphone for a long time but since I switched to a iPhone earlier this year, my online consumption has skyrocketed to a point where my husband constantly reminds me to stop checking my phone. I also do a lot of online banking, mobile shopping, reading and other things on my phone.

In response to moms' voracious use of smartphones, companies and retailers are trying to understand their habits and turn that information into dollars.

What made you switch to a smartphone? Has it made you more efficient or less so? And do you think it's a good idea that marketers are trying to cater to moms?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 9:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Moms' groups
        

Here's Liz Atwod in this week's Tween Tuesday:

In the past, I’ve written about my kids’ aversion to reading. Although I try to get them to read every day, I caught my tween cheating a couple weeks ago. He was supposed to be reading “Percy Jackson and the Olympians,” and even though he had seen the movie, he chose the book and said he liked it. I became suspicious when he seemed to be zipping through the chapters a little too fast. When I questioned him about what he had read, it became clear he was recalling the movie, and not the book.

But last week, we were in on vacation in Orlando and spent the day in Universal Studios’ Islands of Adventure theme park. As we entered the park, our path was blocked by a half dozen or so super heroes riding very loud four wheelers. We snapped a few pictures and moved on, but later that day, as we were leaving the park in a thunderstorm, my son insisted on stopping by the comic book store. There he chose four comic books and spent the rest of the evening reading.

The next day, he was asking for more. We found a comic book shop and he again spent the night reading, transfixed by the adventures of Captain America, Venom and the Black Panther.

According to the Comic Chronicles comic books sales are sinking. But the business seems to have a new patron. At $4 a comic, I’m not sure I can afford to keep up with my son’s new-found passion. But if comics get him to read, I’ll consider the money a good investment.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)
Categories: Teens
        

Source: The Breast Milk Baby

The only dolls that I really played with growing up were Barbie. Today, there are so many different kinds; you could even customize a doll to look like your girl.

Add "The Breast Milk Baby" to the list as Berjuan Toys is working to make the toy available at retailers in the U.S., according to a company news release. Here's how the doll works, according to the company:

The Breast Milk Baby simulates the breast-feeding process by including a fashionable halter-top that a young girl can put on like a vest and when she brings the Breast Milk Baby doll’s mouth up to the pretty flower decoration on the vest the doll makes a soft, suckling sound. The two flowers on the halter are positioned where the nipples would be and when the mouth of the doll is brought close to the embedded sensors in the flower, the baby makes motions and suckling sounds.

The company says it has sold "millions" of these dolls in Europe. It acknowledges the criticism that has already been tossed at the company: That it sexualizes young girls at an early age.

Berjuan Toys feels otherwise.

Dennis Lewis, the U.S. representative for Berjuan, says in the release that "the Breast Milk Baby lets young girls imitate mothers in a natural, caring way. Acting just like ‘mommy,‘ girls can learn another natural nurturing skill about taking care of a baby. Just like changing, bathing, swaddling, singing, rocking to sleep, and cuddling for a healthy baby."

Would girls be interested in having a doll that can "breastfeed"? on some attachment made to look like a breast from what I could tell from the picture?

Not every parent agrees on what toy is appropriate for their child. Would you buy one if your child asked for one?

Updated July 20: Check out this video.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (37)
Categories: Babies and Toddlers, Parenting in general
        

There are no words to describe Leiby Kletzky's tragic death.

May he rest in peace, and my thoughts are with his family.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 9:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Child Safety
        

Here's Betsy of Fluffy Windover's Diary with this week's Toddler Thursday:

Much has been written on the topic of children and gender. (In fact, Liz Atwood discussed it in this post.) I don’t want to get into the debate of whether parents sometimes reinforce gender stereotypes from the start. (I’m sort of middle-of-the-road on that issue. I let Edwin play with whatever toys he wants to play with, be it dolls or trucks, but I’m not painting his toenails pink or anything. Then again, he has never asked me to.) But I do want to talk about the natural behavioral differences between girls and boys.

Edwin has become really physical. He wants to run, jump, climb, throw, and smash. If there is a ball, he must throw it. If there is a large stick, he must wield it. If there is furniture, he must climb it (and then try to jump off). In fact, right now he is sporting an impressive shiner from jumping off our front porch steps. Whenever I mention this to someone, the response is almost always, “Well, he’s a boy!” He does enjoy some quiet activities, like painting and being read to. But for the most part, he would rather be running, climbing, or throwing.

So, you parents of toddler girls: Is it true what I’ve heard? Is it true that little girls actually SIT DOWN? Do they really read to their dolls and have tea parties? Because if that’s really what toddler girls are like, maybe I should start painting Edwin’s toenails pink.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)
Categories: Toddler Thursday
        

A Pennsylvania restaurant has banned children under six from the establishment because of noise issues.

According to a local broadcast report, Mike Vuick, owner of McDain's Restaurant and Golf Center in Monroeville informed his customers of this new policy via email:

Beginning July 16, 2011, McDain's Restaurant will no longer admit children under six years of age. We feel that McDain's is not a place for young children. Their volume can't be controlled and many, many times, they have disturbed other customers.

For the most part, I don't have a problem with the ban. It's his right as a private business owner.

But as a parent, I'm a little peeved. It's not like we want our kids to have tantrums or crying bursts while eating out. It happens.

I have no idea whether McDain's is a casual dining place or a white glove restaurant. But if parents are regularly bringing children under six for noise to be an issue, I assume McDain's is not a fancy dining place.

Plus, I don't think most parents would take a young child to a fancy restaurant.

Do you agree with the restaurant's decision? Where should restaurants draw the line?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 9:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)
Categories: On the Web, Parenting in general
        

Health editor Kim here. Hanah kindly let me share this post on our upcoming live chat on treating pain conditions in children.

On Wednesday at noon on baltimoresun.com/health, Dr. Paul Christo, a pain specialist at Johns Hopkins, will take readers' questions on treating children who have painful illnesses and issues, such as sickle cell pain, cancer pain, postoperative pain, fibromyalgia and CRPS. With even over-the-counter pain medication for children under increased scrutiny, we thought this would be a timely topic.

You can sign up for the chat in advance here and receive an email reminder when it starts. Or if you can't make the chat, email your questions in advance to healthcalendar@baltsun.com and come back to the same page to read the transcript.

Christo is director of the Multidisciplinary Pain Fellowship Training Program at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine. He also has a radio talk show Saturday nights on WBAL.

Getty Images file

Posted by baltimoresun.com at 12:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Health
        

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's Tween Tuesday:

What would summer be without a camping trip? That’s what I’ve been trying to tell my 10-year-old as we prepare for a weekend camp out. I tell him it will be great; he can eat s’mores, sing campfire songs, pee on a tree.

But he isn’t looking forward to it. He complains that there will be bugs. He’s afraid of snakes.
He hasn’t really liked camping for some time now, and since he was stung by a bee a couple weeks ago, he’s affection for nature has plummeted to an all-time low.

Still, I try to rally him with the idea of shooting BB guns. “You like shooting in the video games? Well, we will be REAL soldiers,” I say.

“I want to play soldier, not BE one,” he answers.

“Canoeing will be fun,” I say. “We’ll be just like the Indians.”

“I don’t want to be an Indian,” he tells me.

“You like s’mores,” I remind him.

He can’t argue with that.

So we’re setting off -- armed with mosquito netting and lots of bug spray.

Hopefully, we won’t see any snakes.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

How much did your parents' divorce frame how you approach your own marriage and being a parent?

Writer Susan Gregory Thomas explores how Generation X has been so deeply affected by divorce in her essay.

"Whatever happens, we're never going to get divorced." Over the course of 16 years, I said that often to my husband, especially after our children were born. Apparently, much of my generation feels at least roughly the same way: Divorce rates, which peaked around 1980, are now at their lowest level since 1970. In fact, the often-cited statistic that half of all marriages end in divorce was true only in the 1970s—in other words, our parents' marriages.

Not ours. According to U.S. Census data released this May, 77% of couples who married since 1990 have reached their 10-year anniversaries. We're also marrying later in life, if at all. The average marrying age in 1950 was 23 for men and 20 for women; in 2009, it was 28 for men and 26 for women.

Thomas makes some interesting observations based on data and her own personal experience. She argues that given that her age cohort -- those born between 1965 and 1980 -- is pouring "everything that we have into giving our children" stable homes, something that her generation did not have.

Of course, this is the generation of parents that have been accused of being too involved and hovering above their children even when they become adults -- the so-called helicopter parents.

I won't give away the ending, but you could guess what happens with Thomas.

Given that Thomas' outlook on marriage was so influenced by her experience as latchkey kid, how much of your parents' marriage/divorce affect your own marriage?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 10:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Divorce, Parenting in general
        

Here's Liz Atwood in this week's Tween Tuesday:

School has been out a couple weeks. My 14-year-old has been to camp and back. And the boredom is starting to set in. And with the boredom comes the teasing and bickering. I really think it’s time my kids went to work.

The older one has a small pet-sitting service, but I’m thinking he needs a real job. I recently
learned that kids 14 and older can legally work in Maryland and I’ve started to see his classmates working in ice cream stands and restaurants. Yes, there are a few complications: he doesn’t drive and, with the economy still in a slump, there aren’t a lot of jobs for young teens. Still, I think it’s time he started to polish up the resume and pound the streets.

As for the 10-year-old, I need to find some more chores for him to do around the house to pry him away from the video games. Walking the dog for 15 minutes in the evening isn’t enough. He’s a strong, sturdy boy. He could at least pull weeds in the garden.

One mother I know has her tween boys do the laundry and clean the house. I might have to overlook some mistakes like pink socks and missed dust bunnies, but if it will help keep peace, it’s the price I’m willing to pay.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 10:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens