Sleeping gone awry
I was so proud when Eric and I trained Jake to go to sleep around 8 p.m. without much crying, anxiety and tantrums.
But that all changed in April when our vacation disrupted Jake's sleep routine. When we got back, Jake started going to sleep later and later. A sleep-derived baby is a cranky baby, which means mom and dad are cranky, too.
Things got worse over the weekend on a short trip to visit family in New York. Ever since we returned, Jake has been -- how do I say this nicely? -- defiant. I mean full-on tantrum, crying in his crib, hyperventilating.
The first night, we let him cry for 10 minutes knowing that nothing was wrong except for the fact that he didn't want to go to sleep. I would have let him cry for longer, but Eric disagreed. So we resorted to the dreaded let's-put-him-to-sleep-in-the-car route.
Round one went to Jake.
Well, the second night didn't go much better. Jake won that round, too.
I think we need to put our foot down and let him know who's boss. I'm proposing that we let him cry for 15 minutes tonight and see if he blinks first.
Jake is just about to turn 18 months and well into the terrible twos. As soon as he gets an inkling that it's his bedtime, he starts whimpering and saying no.
Is it normal for a toddler's sleeping routine to go awry? What sleeping routines and methods have worked to put your restless toddler to sleep?
Comments
Ugh, sleep problems are the worst! We used the Ferber method-- basically you check in on him (but don't pick him up) at intervals of 5, 10, and 15 minutes until he (theoretically) gives up and goes to sleep. So he knows you haven't abandoned him, but hopefully soon realizes that he's not going to get a ton of attention and might as well just go to sleep. It took a few days, but it worked for us. I don't know if it works for everyone, but might be worth a try.
Posted by: Betsy | June 8, 2011 1:01 PM
It's completely normal for toddlers to do this after a disruption in the routine. We usually wind up doing a combination of letting him cry for progressively longer periods of time before going in and reminding him "it's sleepy time" and laying down on the floor/in bed with him (sometimes this helps but usually it just makes it worse).
What's worked the best for us on a day to day basis is that since he turned 1 he only gets his pacis when he's sleeping. Making that transition was a little tough but now he runs to his room and jumps into bed at naptime and bedtime because he wants them so much.
Posted by: Kate | June 8, 2011 1:10 PM
I'm definitely with you on the crying it out. I have a 5-year-old and a 2-year-old. My daughter (the 5-year-old) had no sleep issues at all, even as a newborn. My son on the other hand put up a fight. I think it would be fine to let Jake cry it out for 15 to 20 minutes, then check on him and repeat. I really think he would eventually fall asleep. Good luck!
Posted by: kmackaben | June 8, 2011 8:36 PM
You and your husband should definitely be on the same page regarding the bedtime routine long before you put your son to bed. You both probably know that driving him around in the car is like putting a band aid on a knife wound. The sooner your toddler learns the word/concept of "non-negotiable" the happier every one will be. If your husband can't handle the crying you might want to suggest he take a walk outside so he won't have to listen it. I had to do that myself when my children were babies and once they started sleeping through the night we never had any problems.
Posted by: Lisa | June 9, 2011 8:31 AM