Here's Betsy of Fluffy Windover's Diary with this week's Toddler Thursday:

This morning I am sporting a bruised, swollen upper lip. No, it’s not from a bar fight (though it might be fun to tell people that, since I’m 7 months pregnant). Rather, it’s from an incident… with my two-year old.

While I was helping Edwin get dressed, he head-butted me. I’m still not sure why he did it (I don’t even think he knows why he did it.) But let me tell you, it hurt. A LOT. First I was shocked (by the pain, and then by the realization that I am raising a violent sociopath). Then I burst into tears (I blame the pregnancy hormones.) Poor Edwin felt terrible and gave me kisses and said “Mom? Are you OK? Mom? I’m sorry! Mom? I give you a kiss!”

I don’t think I’ll press charges this time. He did seem remorseful, and once I composed myself I put him in time out. So now we can put this incident behind us… once my fat lip heals.

Have you ever been visibly injured by your toddler?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Toddler Thursday
        

Here's a number of interesting and insightful stories on parenting around the web:

National Public Radio's All Thing Considered began a series of reports this week exploring childbirth and parenting practices around the globe. Stories, audio and blogs explore issues from Africa, Asia and Europe.

A parent and therapist Lori Gottlieb explores how our obsession with raising happy kids may have the opposite effect. Check out her thoughtful article here.

On a sobering note, three top news organizations, NPR, ProPublica and Frontline, examined child death cases and found that forensic pathologists often misdiagnose the cause of death. As a result, innocent parents and caretakers have gone to jail. The full story is here.

Feel free to comment on any of these stories or pertaining issues.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Child Safety, On the Web, Parenting in general
        

New parents will no longer be able to buy cribs with sides that drop after a new federal rule goes into effect today.

According to the Associated Press, this new child safety mandate prohibits the sale of drop-side cribs even at yard sales.

New cribs on the market won't really look different other than the obvious absence of a movable side that drops down. Now, all four sides will be fixed and the cribs should be sturdier because of the tougher testing requirements.

Drop-side cribs have been around for decades. But they have increasingly come under scrutiny in recent years because of malfunctioning hardware, sometimes cheaper plastics, or assembly problems that can lead to the drop-side rail partially detaching. That can create a dangerous "V"-like gap with the mattress in which a baby can get caught and suffocate.

The AP says drop-sides are blamed for more than 30 infant and toddler deaths since 2000.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 9:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Child Safety
        

To include or not include: Liz Atwood debates whether to have children at dinner parties in this week's Tween Tuesday:

Recently, I held a dinner party for some friends and debated whether to include the kids. On the one hand, I’m a big proponent of family meals and I didn’t feel right excluding them. I think both kids and adults can learn from talking to each other. On the other hand, four of my guests do not have children and the idea of having to mind the kids’ manners while overseeing the dinner party was more than I could bear.

I decided to give the kids the choice of attending. Both opted out, although several times during the evening I asked the boys if they’d like to join us.

The older one pretty much stayed in his room although he ventured out once to say hello. The younger one mingled a bit more and joined us for dessert on the patio.

I had a good time and it was easier for me to socialize without worrying about my kids’ behavior, but I wondered how other parents handle these situations.

Do you usually include your kids in your dinner parties? If so, how do you manage it?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

It seems as though every summer we hear of a tragic accident involving a parent unintentionally leaving a child alone in the car.

This month, a toddler in Howard County was hospitalized for heat exposure after being left in a car for three hours. Fortunately, the mistake didn't result in a death.

In response, Howard County Health Officer Peter Beilenson is offering tips on preventing similar accidents.

My colleague Andrea Walker over at the PIcture of Health blog provides more detail. Check it out here.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Child Safety
        

Here's Betsy of Fluffy Windover's Diary with this week's Toddler Thursday:

We are heading to the beach this weekend with Edwin. This will be his third trip to the beach. It’s amazing how much young children change from year to year.

On his first visit, he was 11 months old and still a few weeks away from walking. He loved crawling around on the sand, chasing seagulls, and splashing in the surf.

Last year, at 21 months, he was cautious about the water and very sensitive to the bright sun. He enjoyed early morning beach time, but once the sun got high, he wanted nothing to do with the beach. We hung out at the pool and took lots of stroller walks instead.

This year, at almost three, he’s more rambunctious and bold. He’s a completely different kid from last year: he’s no longer napping, he’s potty trained, and he wants to run, climb, and throw things. I’m hoping he’ll really let his hair down and have fun at the beach. He will also have 10 older cousins there to play with, so that should help him let loose.

In case he is still too sensitive about the sun to want to spend much time at the beach, we’ll need to find some other activities for him. I really can’t see him getting into a whole game of mini golf (I am picturing him swinging the club at innocent bystanders and kicking golf balls all over the place). And antiquing with a toddler is probably out. He might like the arcade, though. He could throw those skee balls to his little heart’s content. Now just to make sure he throws them at the targets, and not all over the arcade.

What does your toddler like to do at the beach?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Toddler Thursday
        

Here's Liz Atwood in this week's Tween Tuesday:

Hooray for summer vacation! Yes, I know that soon the kids will be whining that they are bored and I’ll be complaining that they’re spending too much time watching TV and playing video games. But let me list my Top 10 reasons I’m glad school is out:

10. Less laundry. If my son wears the same T-shirt two days in a row, who will notice?

9. No more waiting in the car rider line to drop my kid off to school and putting up with those parents who take way too long to say good-bye to their kids.

8. I don’t have to go out at night to buy pencils because my son suddenly remembers he doesn’t have any.

7. No more yelling for my kid to get up or he’ll be late for school.

6. No PTA fundraisers.

5. No homework!

4. No more checking to see if my son has pencils.

3. I don’t have to pack lunches at the crack of dawn and debate whether this is the peanut
butter or turkey sandwich day.

2. We won’t have to rush out of the house every morning like crazy people escaping the asylum.

1. No more notes from the teacher saying my son doesn’t have pencils.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Teens
        

In celebration of Father's Day, please welcome guest blogger Geoffrey Greif, a professor at the University of Maryland School of Social Work and a nationally recognized expert on fathers, single parents, male friendships, and issues related to divorce and fatherhood.

He offers five tips for being a better father:

1. Children need structure. Think consistency, reliability, and meeting expectations. Children need to know what time dinner will be, what time bedtime will be, and what the rules are for homework. We can be flexible occasionally. But stick to it.

2. The way we treat women and our daughters teaches them what they can expect from men, and it teaches sons how to treat women. Treating the mother of our child with respect, no matter our differences, is a way of treating our child with respect.

3. Being a good parent is not the same as being a disciplinarian. It does not mean putting on a tough face inside the house when a tough face is needed outside the house. We can teach our children to be warm and loving to others. That is part of what it means to be a man.

4. Even as we teach the value of long-term goals like education, be sure to focus on one day at a time. Make each day meaningful when we are with our children.

5. We fathers must be role models in taking care of ourselves and making healthy choices. One way to do this is to find good friends. People with friends live longer, healthier, happier lives. In research for my book, Buddy System: Men and their Male Friendships, I found that being a friend means being understanding, loyal, dependable, and trustworthy. These are also good attributes for fathers.

What are your tips for being a better father?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Dads
        

Here's Betsy of Fluffy Windover's Diary with this week's Toddler Thursday:

Are you your toddler’s playmate?

The other day I was talking to my mom, and I mentioned that I feel guilty because lately I don’t have much energy to play with Edwin or take him places. She said something like, “You don’t have to play with him; you’re his mother!”

This really struck me as interesting. My mom was a stay-at-home mom in the 60s and 70s, before we called them “stay-at-home moms”. I have fond memories of being home with my mom and reading books or playing while she went about her daily household tasks. Though I did go to nursery school, we didn’t do “mommy and me” classes, or playground playdates, or craft projects, or sing-alongs at the local coffee shop. I don’t remember ever feeling like I was bored or wanting to do more things; I was perfectly happy entertaining myself.

I suppose it’s a generational difference in the view of parenting. Today, I think a lot of moms feel pressure to pack every day with enriching activities and bonding experiences. Especially working moms: since they don’t spend every day with their children, they feel they must pack as much into the days they do spend together. Back when staying at home was the norm, perhaps moms didn’t feel this pressure to make the most out of every minute of time with their children.

How about you? Do you feel like you need to be your child’s playmate? Do you feel guilty when you would just rather read a magazine than spend “quality time” playing with your toddler?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 11:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Toddler Thursday
        

Here's Liz Atwood with this week's installment of Tween Tuesday

School is almost out and while my kids probably fantasize about sleeping late and playing video games all day, that’s not going to happen. I didn’t buy the summer work packets this year, but I’m a firm believer in another tradition — summer reading.

I wish I could say my boys love to read, but they don’t. They start into books, but always seem to get bored and want to give up. I’m sure that it’s because books just don’t move as quickly as movies, TV shows and video games. The trick is to keep them interested.

The National Summer Learning Association, based in Baltimore, has a lot of great resources, including these tips on how to find books for the summer read.

Libraries across the country are sponsoring programs to encourage the kids to read by adding in contests, crafts and games. The theme for many libraries this summer, including the Enoch Pratt in Baltimore, is One World, Many Stories.

Scholastic has joined with PBS Kids to sponsor another reading competition and has lots of resources and suggested books. Many schools also offer reading lists — some suggested and some required.

If you have any other ideas of how to motivate the reluctant tween reader, I’d like to hear about it.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 12:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)
        

Mission accomplished: Betsy of Fluffy Windover's Diary discusses the success of potty training in this week's Toddler Thursday:

I thought I would post an update on our potty training progress with Edwin. We are diaper free! (Well, except for nighttime.) I never thought it would happen, but Edwin has been diaper-free for almost two weeks. He can do it all by himself (though we are still working on him putting his pants back on after). I know he may regress, but for now I'm just relieved that he seems to have embraced the new normal of using the potty all the time.

I cannot really take credit for his success; I think he was just ready. All kids are different and I don't believe there is any sure-fire trick to potty training. But I'll let you know what things seemed to help us, in case you are going through it with your toddler and need some things to try. We used a reward system-- I filled a box with a variety of "prizes" (just cheap dollar store crap), and he could choose one prize after he went potty. But I don't even know if this was necessary. We also did a lot of silly games with his stuffed animals "racing" him to the potty. He thought that was hilarious and it always worked to get him to go. I really tried to make it fun for him to avoid giving him the impression that it was something I wanted him to do. Because like most toddlers, Edwin doesn't do anything I want him to do.

Here's hoping it sticks, at least until Baby Brother comes to town and Edwin starts peeing on the floor in revolt.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 9:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Toddler Thursday
        

I was so proud when Eric and I trained Jake to go to sleep around 8 p.m. without much crying, anxiety and tantrums.

But that all changed in April when our vacation disrupted Jake's sleep routine. When we got back, Jake started going to sleep later and later. A sleep-derived baby is a cranky baby, which means mom and dad are cranky, too.

Things got worse over the weekend on a short trip to visit family in New York. Ever since we returned, Jake has been -- how do I say this nicely? -- defiant. I mean full-on tantrum, crying in his crib, hyperventilating.

The first night, we let him cry for 10 minutes knowing that nothing was wrong except for the fact that he didn't want to go to sleep. I would have let him cry for longer, but Eric disagreed. So we resorted to the dreaded let's-put-him-to-sleep-in-the-car route.

Round one went to Jake.

Well, the second night didn't go much better. Jake won that round, too.

I think we need to put our foot down and let him know who's boss. I'm proposing that we let him cry for 15 minutes tonight and see if he blinks first.

Jake is just about to turn 18 months and well into the terrible twos. As soon as he gets an inkling that it's his bedtime, he starts whimpering and saying no.

Is it normal for a toddler's sleeping routine to go awry? What sleeping routines and methods have worked to put your restless toddler to sleep?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 11:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)
Categories: Parenting in general
        

It's been a frustrating few days as we lost our ability to accept comments.

I am happy to report that it's back.

Let's restart our conversation.

Posted by Hanah Cho at 10:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: How to Use and Comment on This Blog
        

Liz Atwood discusses when is a good age to leave the kids home alone during the summer in this week's Tween Tuesday:

School is winding down. My fourth grader came home Friday and announced he would have no more homework until fifth grade. But while I’m sure parents and kids can breathe a sigh of relief over that, parents know that in some ways the work and worry is just beginning when the kids get out of school.

The biggest problem for many parents is who will be looking after the kids when school is out. Many parents of tweens are asking themselves if this might be the year the kids are old enough to stay home alone—at least for a few hours each day. By the time our kids hit middle school, the traditional daycare arrangements often are no longer a good fit. Some facilities won’t take children after they are out of elementary school and camps usually don’t last all summer. And as kids get older, they become more reluctant to spend their entire summer in a structured environment.

Are you thinking this might be the summer to let your tween stay home alone? If not, when do you think it’s OK?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: Teens
        

It's not you, it's us.

Our system is having problems with the comment section, so I apologize if you've been trying to comment in the last few days.

I'll let you know once our comment system is back up.

Thanks for reading!

Posted by Hanah Cho at 10:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: How to Use and Comment on This Blog
        

I was disturbed to learn that public schools across the nation are increasingly asking families to pay for extracurricular activities and even academic classes amid budget shortfalls.

The Wall Street Journal reports on this growing trend:

Public schools across the country, struggling with cuts in state funding, rising personnel costs and lower tax revenues, are shifting costs to students and their parents by imposing or boosting fees for everything from enrolling in honors English to riding the bus.

At high schools in several states, it can cost more than $200 just to walk in the door, thanks to registration fees, technology fees and unspecified "instructional fees."

The practice seems counter to our notion of a free public education. But as the story points out, families are willing to shell out extra costs reaching several thousands of dollars in some cases rather than lose out on opportunities such as sports and advanced classes. Some school administrators told the newspaper that these fees are good public policy, given that it's not fair to have every class and activity during penny-pinching times.

While I can understand the reasons for having these fees, it still doesn't sit right with me.

I rather pay for higher taxes in order to fund public education than to ask families to pay for things like track and band, which are pretty common activities that I would expect to be available for free to all students.

Understandable, not everyone feels the same way as I do. Asking everyone to share the burden of higher taxes is not fair either, especially in this still-struggling economy.

But what about moderate- and low-income families? Should their children be given less opportunities because they can't afford to pay to play in sports? Some schools do provide waivers, according to the article.

Here's an example of fees:

A 52% increase in some fees this year at the Blue Valley School District in Overland Park, Kan., means a typical high-school student now owes $235 at enrollment, plus supplies fees as high as $65 a class. The tab will be similar next year at Wheaton North High School in Wheaton, Ill., after a recent fee hike: $221 for baseline registration plus $150 per sport and class fees as high as $50 each.

Are there any schools in the region that charge similar fees? Have they gone up? How do you feel about them? Would you pay hundreds or even thousands of dollars a year for some classes and some sports when you also pay taxes to fund local schools?

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)
Categories: School's In
        

Here's Betsy of Fluffy Windover's Diary with this week's Toddler Thursday:

This past weekend, we decided to bite the bullet and begin potty training boot-camp. We told Edwin (who will be 3 in September) that we didn’t have any more diapers, and so he’d have to wear underwear and use the potty all the time. He was a little upset at first, but I had put all his diapers away when he wasn’t looking, so he seemed to accept the fact that diapers just weren’t available. We had a couple of accidents, but for the most part he really did a great job making it to the potty. Basically, if he was naked or wearing just underwear he always made it to the potty. If he had shorts on, he seemed to forget that he wasn’t wearing a diaper.

He went off to daycare yesterday after four days at home, and he did... not so great. Let’s just say I have a lot of laundry to do. He’s still not great at remembering to go to the potty when he’s wearing pants or shorts. I hope he does better today. I’m feeling a little guilty, like maybe he’s not quite ready and I shouldn’t be pushing this. But frankly, I’m tired of hoisting this 26-lb kid up on a changing table to clean up his man-sized messes. And our pediatrician said that the longer he’s been potty trained before the baby comes, the less likely he is to regress. Also, when it’s this hot it’s so easy to let him run around in his underwear.

I think we’ve reached the point of no return. There may be a little more laundry to do, but we’re just going to push through. Wish me luck!

Posted by Hanah Cho at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)
Categories: Toddler Thursday